The picturesque area of Southern England known as the Weald of Kent almost set a world record in 2005 when it was accidentally put on sale on E-bay. Before the mistake was noticed it was snapped up by some property developers who planned to bulldoze the entire area to make way for a caravan park...however the deal was scrapped after E Bay declared it a palpable error...the actual item for sale was a commemorative mug from the area which was later sold for 4.50

Next: Antiques Roadshow

"Tea Coseys" is a corruption of "Tea Cossies" - or Tea Costumes. When tea was first introduced to Britain from Antarctica in 1972, the traditional crocheted Pygmy costume of the region came with it. The fad for dressing up for the tea ceromany soon fell from favour, hoever, and the only vestage that remains is the Tea cosey.

Next: The Pygmy people of Antarctica.

.....next.......Catholics and candle wax

Oops. Who would have thought it, someone posting at this time. I feel wrong now.

History has been a lot kinder to Abraham Lincoln than his contemporeries were. Despite an overwhelming compassion for humankind that he expressed in a series of eloquent speeches - perhaps the best known example being the Gettysburg Address - he was constantly plagued by taunts about his inability to grow a moustache; a disability that was compounded because the rest of his face suffered hypertrichosis so extreme that he could grow a beard in 6 minutes flat.

Next - the Beardmore Glacier.

After Eights form the bond between the ceramic heat resistant tiles and aluminium skin of the space shuttle. The Challenger disaster can be directly attributed to the unauthorised use of novelty christmas editions during routine maintenance.

Next: Checklists

The seminal 70's band Yoghurt are cited as an influence by groups as diverse as The Nolan Sisters and Napalm Death. The group's best selling album, Standpipe Love Affair, was released in 1976. However, it was the Nirvana cover of their obscure 1974 Dutch only vinyl single, Doe Den Tap Toe, that served as the catalyst for their 1993 reunion tour, Live Yoghurt.

Next: Scapa Flow

During the High Middle Ages, fantastical headgear became popular among knights, in particular for tournaments.
It is sometimes argued that Viking helmets would not have been worn in battle due to the impediment to their wearer, however, unpractical adornments have been worn on battlefields throughout history, ....the Welsh for instance during the 1247 Battle of Llandewi Brevi took it upon themselves to sport a full grown lamb on the left horn and a cake made from seaweed on the right.
Unfortunately due to the lack of vision this caused many of the Celts ran straight off the main promenade and into the sea at Cow's Mouth.

The vikings inevitably won the battle and spent the evening scraping and pickling.

NEXT: White Wine Vinegar

Bagpuss was a soft fat hairy catpuss, battered and a bit loose at the seams but Emily loved him.aahh...but in fact Emily fell out of love with him..after he gradually ran out of tall stories and Emily got older and fell into drug dependency, Bagpuss was the first to go on E-Bay, netting young Emily enough to keep her and her railway childrenesque mates stocked up with magic mushrooms for a whole two weeks. She quickly realised that the site was a much better way of selling than her old shop and one by one all of her top sellers went except Professor Yaffle who was chopped up for firewood after pecking off her nose in an argument about sales ethics.


next: Organists

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As a bit of a 'Jack-the-Lad' it is hard to stop it when you reach fatherhood and some examples of Daddies Sauce include..''Did you hear about the**Vicar?---He chased one of his Choirboys and caught him by the Organ''

NEXT:-unfunniest joke by an alleged Comedian..NO references to Fisherman's Friends though!

Due to current EU legislations it is virtaully impossible to which is currently the unfunniest joke by a comedian
Ever since the infamous ' My Dog has no no nose' incident in the Glasgow Empire in the late 1970s when 4 people were trampled to death trying to get to the comedian involved, all registered comedians in the UK are forced to submit themselves to random joke testing to prevent public disorder. Comics have to appear before joke inspectors at regular intervals and if they miss 3 such appointments they are automatically given a 10 year ban (hence the non appearance of Stan Boardman on tv in recent years)...Harry Hill has supposedly missed his last two and is on a red card.
The situation, though bad in the UK, has been far worse in Europe where the title of unfunniest joke almost certainly resides
Unfunny comedians during the war were hunted down by Hitler and Stalin's secret police and unless their material was of acceptable quality an enforced spell in the Gulag or worse beckoned. It is estimated that 90% of those country's funnymen perished in the 1940s as a result...the lack of humour in their current gene pools is thus explained. The phrase ' Are you some kind of comedian?' still evokes terror in Eastern Europe.

NEXT : U Boats

U-boats were developed in secret by the Guild of Master Plumbers in their headquarters at the rear of 32 Clemens Street, Leamington Spa, CV31 2DN. Essentially a midget submarine, the U-boat was designed to transport a plumber around the U-bend of a sink or lavatory. However, despite years of cross-breeding experiments involving short@rsed heating engineers, jockeys and Spitfire pilots; success in producing a plumber small enough to fit in the U-boat eluded them.

Next: Leamington Spa.

The Wirral was built in the late 1950s to keep the Rivers Mersey and Dee separate.

Next: Multi-storey car parks.

Cane Toad is a well known B-list celebrity in America popping up in numerous American soaps and sitcoms. Sometimes described as a latter day Gabby Hayes he is synonymous with cheesy smiles and poor delivery of his lines and is often seen in those classic programmes Days Of Our Lives and Sunset Beach where his talents are perfectly suited. He is so popular in Australia that they named an animal after him.

Next: Oscar acceptance speeches

next?

Wild Boar, once the preferred hunting prey of English kings were thought to be in decline. Mainly due to the arrival of grey squirrels in the UK who eat boar they are less seen in the countryside than they used to be but have in fact migrated in large numbers to inner cities. Using a cunning camouflage technique they masquerade themselves as foxes (and so evading the squirrels) and are frequently to be spotted to be raiding dustbins. Foxes themselves are in serious decline..if you see one it is likely to be a boar instead and at the last count only 37 breeding pairs of foxes were believed to exist in England

Next: Lincolnshire Sausages

Channel 4 was planning to show a 30 minute documetary called 'Great Guns' this summer but due to the publics insatiable demand for such shows it has now been expanded and 'The 100 Greatest Guns of All Time' will now be aired around Christmas. Voiced over by Graham Norton and with contributions by the usual suspects of social commentators like Dominik Diamond and Vanessa Feltz, viewers will be encouraged to vote for their favourite guns. Current favourites for the top spot are the Ousi 9mm, The Guns of Navarone and Young Guns 2 : Blaze of Glory

next: Dirty Harry

come on you punks, make my day!

The film 'Dirty Harry' was ostensibly based on the life of San Francisco police officer Lt. Randy Hardwood. It is true that Hardwood's nickname in the Department was indeed 'Dirty Harry'. However, this was based on his supporting role in sixteen gonzo porn movies.

Next: The gold standard