We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
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Believe it or not, the year 2015 will be upon us in approximately 8 and half years.
Next: Captain Sensible |
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Captain Sensible was one of Marvel Comics first super heroes but he didnt prove a hit with readers and was dropped after only six issues. In an obvious likeness to Superman, mild mannered reporter Troy Sussex would use his super powers to avoid disasters but he frequently was beten to the count by other superheroes. This was probably due to the fact that he resisted the urge to rip off the shirt (he unbuttoned it and folded his clothes carefully) and made a point of brushing his teeth before flying off. In the final issue the Captain was zapped by a ray of destructive radiocative stupidity by his deadly rival Dr Egghead.
next: Mutants |
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A mutant (also known to early geneticists as a "monster") is an individual, organism, or new genetic character arising or resulting from an instance of mutation, which is a sudden structural change within the DNA of a gene or chromosome of an organism resulting in the creation of a new character or trait not found in the parental type. In an organism or individual, the new character or trait may or may not be trivial, may occasionally be beneficial, but will usually result in either a genetic disorder or have no phenotypic effect whatsoever. The natural occurrence of genetic mutants is integral to the process of evolution.
Next: Skid marks |
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Skid marks are invaluable to police accident investigators, allowing them to determine the speed, direction and impact point of the the vehicles involved.
Next: Underwear |
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Underwear costs can be considerably reduced if one applies the simple rule of wearing them inside out on the second day.
Next: The Daz Doorstep Challenge |
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Ironically, while the daz doorstep challenge was designed to make dirty clothes clean, squeaky clean shane richie is actually a dirty mungrel
Next: Spacehoppers |
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The Spacehopper is a heavy rubber balloon about 70 cm in diameter, with two rubber handles protruding from the top. A driver can sit on top of it holding the two handles, and bounce up and down until the balloon leaves the ground. By leaning, the driver can make the balloon bounce in a particular direction. In practical terms, this is probably the least efficient form of locomotion ever invented, but its simplicity, ease of use, low cost and cheerful appearance has made it the main form of transport in the Ukrainian city of Ugash.
Only the mayor refuses to use one and goes every where by pogo stick instead. Next: Mens socks |
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Along with arson in the Royal Dockyard and high treason it is still an offence punishable by death in the UK to be caught wearing white mens socks with anything other than trainers
next: Cattle Rustling |
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The economy of Brewster County, Texas, is centred on cattle ranching. This is celebrated every year in the local Steer Parade, where life size papier machie cows are paraded through Alpine, the county seat.
Local ranchers unable to attend the event contribute by affixing papier machie collars to their cattle. These rustle noticeably in the keen west Texas wind. Next: Wisconsin |
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Wisconsin is a state in the United States of America. What is not quite so well known is that St. Peter has a special space in his book of sins that he uses to keep track of all mortal sins. Some sins are so terrible so as to condemn a soul staight to hell. A Wis con sin is a sin of such a trivial nature that it is hardly worth mentioning. Throwing snails in your neighbours garden is an example of such a sin.
Next: Snoop Doggy Dog |
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snoop doggy dogg has the same birthday as me 20th october
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very good, by convention you set the next topic panda....
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A plane carrying the definitive Southern rock group Lynyrd Skynyrd crashed in Mississippi on 20th October 1977, killing several band members including lead singer Ronnie Van Zant and guitarist Steve Gaines.
Next: Nirvana |
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Nirvana is the name of a grunge band from Washington State in the United States of American. It is also a concept in Buddist philosophy. Buddha himself is often portrayed in sculpture with a fat little tummy. It is a little know fact that he was in reality as skinny as a rake.
Next: Sticky buns |
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The decline in the worlds elephant population was explained in a report by the World Wildlife Fund last year to be in no small part due to a decline in sticky bun production in Africa and India. Chairman of the WWF, Prince Philip is believed to be near reaching an agreement with Greggs the Bakers whereby all buns which go past their sell by date are immediately shipped to RAF Brize Norton where they will be transported by Hercules and parachuted over the areas where needy elephants need them most.
Next: Prince Philip's gaffes |
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are a type of legging used to cover the lower part of his legs. Thorn proof, and dirt repellent, they were designed especially for him by the Government in order to try to stop hime kicking the servants.
Next: Prince Charles Giraffes |
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It is a little known fact that the Duchy of Cornwall derives 91% of its income from giraffe services. Giraffes are issued with head mounted red flags and stationed around the perimeter of firing ranges on Exmoor. The MOD pays 22.7m per year for this service.
Next: Tolerance |
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TOLERANCE is an anagram of CREOLE ANT. Creole Ant is a delicacy on the bayous of Louisiana, when the shrimp harvest fails.
Next: the Bubba-Gump Shrimp Co |
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The Bubba-Gump Shrimp Co. was the first company set up Donald Trump in 1956. Its purpose was to rent out dwarfs for the then fashionable sport of dwarf throwing. Dwarf throwing fell out of favour in 1957 and the company went bust. Donald recovered and gone on to better things.
Next: Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum |
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The problems sustained during the Apollo 13 lunar landing mission were popularised in the film Apollo 13. However, it is not widely known that the astronauts were only saved due to the rebellious nature of lunar module pilot Fred W. Haise. The Hubba Bubble Bubble Gum he smuggled on board proved vital in sealing the makeshift carbon monoxide scrubbers assembled by the crew.
Next: Gold reserves |
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Gold reserves, as popularly depicted in the English Blockbuster The Italian Job, are actually the golden remains from Mike Tyson's teeth after being defeated in a gruelling match by Englishman Lennox Lewis.
next: audley harrison |
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Audley Harrison is the siupposed love child of Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn, conceived on the set of My Fair Lady.....with a little bit of luck for Rex though someone else did the blinkin' work.
next:**ney Rhyming Slang |
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It is a little know fact that when ever the Queen spots a shooting star that she always wishes for the same thing. The Duke of Edinburgh let slip to a footman, while they shared a crafty fag at the back of Windsor Castle, what this wish always is. Amazingly the Queen has a burning desire to deliver the address for the opening of Parliment in**ney Ryming Slang. So far she never has.
Next: Cabbage Soup |
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Cabbage Soup is responsible for nearly 25% of the worlds methane production and is a major reason for the depletion of the ozone layer. It has been banned in many countries although the United States has yet to comply (largely believed to be because cabbage producing lobbyists are heavily influential in the current administration). If you are a devotee it is best to check on the Foreign Office website before taking a Cabbage Cup-A-Soups abroad. Two Britons are currently awaiting the death penalty in Laos for importation of this dangerous product.
next: Prohibition |
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During Prohibition in The United States of America Whiskey was available by prescription from medical doctors. Wine was permitted for use in the communion ceremony of the Catholic Church as well as some Jewish ceremonies.
More recently a growing army of deluded souls believe that thier is money to be made backing high and laying low on a number of internet exchange sites. Such is the fever that grips many of these poor creatures that they consider "going pro". Many of these aspireing millionaires have wifes and girlfriends who love them but recognise they dont have a hope in hell and make sure that they continue with their day jobs. They are said to be suffering from "prohibition". Next: lunch boxes |
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Lunchboxes reached a peak in popularity when Linford Christie won gold in the 1992 Olympics. Woolworths is the place to go if you want one similar.
next: Spandau Ballet |
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The most noteworthy of all of Spandau Ballet's concerts took place on the British cruiser, the HMS Belfast, which was anchored near the Tower of London. At this time, there was a buzz in the music industry and all eyes were on the groups next move. Surely enough, record deals and contracts started pouring in to Steve Dagger, the group's manager. One such offer came from Chris Blackwell of Island Records. The response to the offer was startling: Spandau Ballet do not wish to sign to any contract which puts them at risk of losing their identity and autonomy, claiming that along with the group itself, their staff (including stylists and all creative sources) would also fall under the negotiations. As well, they requested complete and total control of all band-related activity, including graphic, visual, and stylistic rights.
Next: The China Syndrome |
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The China Syndrome is a 76,000 all-seater sports arena erected by the Beijing county council in 2000. The venue was supposed to host the first All-Asia chopstick whittling championships, but the event was dropped in mysterious circumstances due to allegations of bribery, wood tampering and substance abuse. The site currently stands idle except for Sunday afternoons when synchronised knitting is performed to a Showwaddywaddy album that the stadium caretaker owns.
Next : Papua New Guinea |
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Papua New Guinea was formed in the 1970s by a pioneering group of explorers from Guinea in Africa who went in search of paradise in their inflatable dinghies. After originally landing on beaches in Western Australia and being set upon by a local surfing community they washed ashore on an island further north that they thought was uninhabited and in their pidgin dialect christened it 'Papa New Guinea'. However on further exploration they found the interior to be full of indigenous tribes who ate them for daring to change the name of their island (originally called Canvey...this was already copyrighted though and the new name had been registered with Lonely Planet).
Similar events happened in the UK when Welwyn Garden City was first dicovered. Next: Bounty Hunters |
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Bounty Hunters are the great, fat, chav-like women you see on the streets these days. If they're unlucky in their quest to find some poor, unsuspecting bloke to satisfy their chocolate purchasing cravings, they care not a jot and consume the said bloke anyhow.
Next: Black widow spiders |
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Black widow spiders are the electronic signatures of a breed of super computer. In particular The Fabit Universal Cybernetic-Kinetic-Ultramicro-Programing (F U C K UP) machines leave a very strong trace.
Next: Nutmeg |
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'Nutmeg' was the nickname given to Noele Gordon as she exhibited incresingly bizarre behaviour in the last few years of her role as Crossroads matriarch Meg Richardson. Noele would frequently refuse to give keys back to residents and cut the brakes on son Sandy's wheelchair in one prank that went disastrously wrong. Her tomfoolery came to a premature end however after a kitchen incident involving her, Shughie Mc Fee and the bacon slicer
next: TV Chefs |
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TV chefs are becoming increasingly common and are not to be confused with pre-op transexual chefs. These two types of chef are often confused by the uninitiated. TV chefs take great exception customers who fail to make this distinction and have been know to add extra "mystery" ingredients to pudding dishes in fury when they feel they have been slighted.
Next: Nude underwater volley-ball |