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National Stereotypes was a horse made favourite for the great Aintree spectacle in 2004.
He was named due to his great love of old LPs and could only perform to his best when listening to music on an old stereo record player via headphones on a long length of cable. Come National Day, he took off like Pegasus, but when 25 lengths clear at the last the wire got caught around his fetlocks resulting in a crashing fall, leaving the coast clear for the unencumbered National IPod to take the race. Next: Blasted new technology |
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Blasted New Technology is OK but it's nowhere near as good as B***** New Technology or F****** New Technology...
next: Swear words |
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For any serious traveller the following site should prove invaluable in those awkward situations where only swear words will do
http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/ its ******* great! next: Roger Melly |
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Roger Melly man on Telly B0l0x
next: jelly |
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Jelly Belly is not to be confused with Delhi Belly, which is a condition sometimes suffered by England cricket teams when visiting India.
Jelly Belly is what many Chav girls suffer from these days, due to their propensity for eating junk food, too much inbibing of alcohol, lack of fitness and displaying their guts over too tight trousers or skirts, whilst wearing crop tops. Delhi Belly is suffered by great sportsmen being unable to eat or drink anything which might be uncontaminated. Next: Give us a real chip sarnie |
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Chip Sarnie - was infamously involved in the 1977 'Butler Cabin Incident' details of which can only be found in the deepest recesses of the Royal and Ancient headquarters and are not due to be released for another 43 years - however the rammifications of this are still being felt with the then Chairman Sir Rodney de la Fountenay still needing to be sedated on a daily basis with no hope of a recovery.
Next: The High Jump |
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More correctly called Ti Hi Yump, the inventor of the Chinese pole vault I think...
Next: The thinker |
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The Thinker by Auguste Rodin, is probably the most famous statue in the world.
Did he have a premonition about the Chit Chat forum when he sculpted it, due to him being out of his mind on illegal substances - or was it really a foresight of things to come because of Thatcher's 'Care In The Community' policy? Next: It makes no difference |
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"IT makes no difference" were the parting words of C Montgomery Telecommunications, the man who founded NTL on a strict diet of contempt for technology and customers alike.
Next: Broadband |
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This troupe of suicide blondes first got together in New York in 1945. Best know for thier hit "up town down town".
Top ten. |
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'Top Ten' is the prefix given by Infomaniac on 90% of the threads he starts.
This thread will feature heavily as it celebrates it's birthday tomorrow. Next : Anniversaries. |
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Er um er um er um - nobody remembers annyadversittties or whatever you call them...
What do you call it when you er um er um er um lose your memory????????????????????? Next: Amnesia |
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Excessive short-term alcohol can cause a blackout phenomenon with similar symptoms to amnesia.
Next: Galatasaray |
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Gala - tasaray pie is a delicacy served in Greek Cypriot restaurants made from the reclaimed meat of unclaimed football hooligans with a nice boiled egg in the middle.
Next: The X files |
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The X Files was originally meant to be a follow up to Z Cars with Frank Windsor and Brian Blessed in the leading roles as a pair of policeman who go in search of the 'truth out there' when they find their day to day police work becoming too mundane. The BBC gave up on the idea however and were left to count the cost when it was taken up by a US network in the 90s. Frank Windsor was asked to do a cameo performance as 'Deep Throat' but was unable to perform as he was too busy giving away carriage clocks to funeral plan holders...however Blessed is still fondly remembered by IT departments everywhere for his performance as Big Foot in one of Fox Mulders most baffling cases.
Next: Gordon's alive!! |
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did no-one wish this thread a HAPPY BIRTHDAY yesterday? :-(
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"Happy birthday for yesterday, thread."
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"Gordon's alive!" is the phrase often heard at gentlemen's clubs after a particularly stressful betting day at Cheltenham.
Next: Gin |
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"Large Gordon's alive!" is the phrase often heard at gentlemen's clubs after a particularly stressful betting day at Cheltenham.
next: Cheltenham Gold Cup week |
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The advertising standards authority today received 83 complaints from punters who turned up at Cheltenham race course on Monday in anticipation of watching the races, after seeing an advert in the Sunday papers for "Cheltenham Gold Cup Week". Apparently there are only 4 days racing, starting on Tuesday. A spokesman for the course said that they hoped to rectify the matter in the future by the addition of extra races, and all 83 had been offered free tickets for the 2008 "Cheltenham Gold Cup Fortnight".
Next: Free Tickets |
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In common with a free lunch, there is no such thing as a free ticket...
next: a free luch |
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Sorry - should read:
next: a free lunch |
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A free lunch should be offered to all mums today as it's Mother's Day. Whether it's a lunch bought in a restaurant or cooked by the offspring, all depends on how much alcohol has been consumed.
Next: A liquid lunch |
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A liquid lunch is probably what I need, as I've just been reliably informed that it isn't Mother's day today after all.
Next: Premature occasions |
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If you ejaculate yourself from an aircraft prematurely, you can find yourself in a terrible mess...
next: A terrible mess |
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A terrible mess was what opponents of Ivan, the first ruler of Russia to assume the title Tsar, found themselves in, if he took exception to them.
Fortunately, this was some centuries before Ollie accused Stan of "another fine mess you've got me into" Next: Would Ivan The Terrible have spared Laurel and Hardy? |
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No, he would have killed them using a Cannon and Ball
Next: The Boys in Blue |
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As a general rule of thumb, The Boys in Blue are 100% butcher than The Boys In Pink...
next: Butcher |
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As a result of a Delia Smith inspired plea for women to 'make friends with your local butcher', all butchers are now allowed by law to practise polygamy.
Next: How to cook an egg |
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1. Find chicken.
2. Wait. 3. Collect egg. 4. Wait for very hot day. 5. Place egg in hottest place available. 6. Wait. 7. Wait. 8. Open egg and consume. next: very hot days... |
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Very hot days in the sun are to be enjoyed, but only if you are of Anglo-Saxon or canine persuasion.
Next: Mad dogs and englishmen |
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