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Builders ar$e cleavage is what most young girls and women have these days due to their liking of fast food and Ladette/Chavette behaviour. They also think it looks good to display their enormous fleshy guts hanging over their jeans, thinking they are incredibly sexy.
Next: If only they knew |
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^
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'If only they knew' was conicidently the famous last words of Queen Elizabeth I, Guy Fawkes, Lord Kitchener, Adolf Hitler, Yuri Gargarin, Rock Hudson and Rod Hull. Coincidence?
Next: Hand Puppets |
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Hand puppets were often used by Jay Jamiraqui's mother in the 70s and early 80s on television.
She used to force her fingers into a sock, and with a clenched smile on her American phizog, make the puppets 'speak'. Perhaps she did the same with her son and that's why he's always whirling around. Next: Lamb Chop |
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^
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now where the hell have you been :)
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Lambchop are a fantastic country soul combo from texas however popular rumour has it that lead singer Kurt Wagner still works as a kitchen fitter but what people dont realise is that he was in fact the actor who played the part of 'Freeway' in the popular 1980's tv series Hart to hart.
Next: Murder |
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Ta Luff.
Lamb chops real name is The Groutch. He especially requested the return of this thread as he adores threads with hundreds of posts. Next : Groutchys friends. |
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LOL back 2 minutes and I muck it up.
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have another go TGM lol
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Groutchys friends are a small, no miniscule, no, hang on...infinitessimal group in Dublin. They consist of a bus driver, a wig maker, 3 corpses and a dog.
Next: Groutchys enemies. |
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Groutchys enemies are a very small subsection of the underwater genus 'groutchys' also incluced are Groutchys shrimps, Groutchys limpets and Groutchys winkles.
Next: Snow flurries |
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Groutchy's enemies will even stoop so low as to attack him on the Amazing Fact Chain Letter thread.
Mind you, it's not as funny as it used to be is it? |
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Next: It's not as funny as it used to be, is it?
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seeing the parrot sketch from monty python.
next, monty python. |
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The battle of Monty Python claimed the largest number of allied casualties of any battle during the Italian campaign of 1944.
Next: reverse gear. |
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the only reason for resurecting this thread for me was i havent been around for a while and i enjoy it there fore i propose we go back to my 1.00pm post in which lamb chop hart to hart and in deed murder wasmentioned with the latter proposed as the next step and we leave personal issues to be dealt with esle where
so next:murder |
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sorry stevie - i see we have moved on
ill get me coat :) |
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i havent got a coat, cos im poor, i havent got a home, i would like to get one of those nice cardboard boxes,
homeless |
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Homeless people often post on Chit Chat, as they think this is a place for degenerates.
They are usually disappointed though, as no one ever gives them a quid for a cup of tea. Next: Using your loaf |
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The term 'using your loaf' dates back to that dark biblical era. It was coined after the rogue tradesman and fraudster Jesus managed to feed five thousand hungry mouths in a YMCA soup / crack kitchen from seemingly a few loafs of bread.
However, praise for the new messiah was short lived as a police raid on his lock-up in Nazareth yeilded a thousand tubes of Pillsbury dough balls and a job lot of Tefal backing sheets. The raid also netted a haul of a hundred 'Stowells of Chelsea' red wine boxes and a magic wand endorsed by the popular entertainer Sooty. Next: Back to the future. |
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Back to the Future was largely instrumental in promoting the careers of its two stars, Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd to Hollywood stardom but both were lucky to get the roles. Robert Zemeckis had Gary Coleman and Clive Dunn earmarked for the parts but both had to drop out due to contractual obligations to Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and Grandad
Next: Colemanballs and a joyous hurrah to see this thread resurrected... |
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Colemanballs was an attempted extension to the Coleman's mustard brand, with the aim of providing an alternative meat to enjoy with their fine range of European mustards.
Next: mustard |
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mustard was the name of the blue peter goat who got beaten to death during the daring 'blue peter garden assault' of 1972. his reamins were stuffed and still stand outside bbc hq to this day.
next: ghandi |
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The repressive Viceroy of India from 1926 to 1931 who imprisoned Ghandi and all the Congress party leaders, and mishandled the situation so badly, was called Lord Irwin, but he went on to be Foreign Secretary under the name Lord Halifax, where he was responsbile for the 1938 Munich agreement and during the second world war wanted to make peace with Hitler.
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next subject please...
If not, maybe we should start with Hitler... |
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yes that is what I meant, Hitler
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Hitler would not have liked this excellent thread, which has mercifully been revived to save us from most of the utter dross on here.
Thus, he would have been very against excellent humorous forumites who post very rarely these days. Next: Rod Tidwell for Prime Minister... |
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I suppose 'Rod Tidwell for Chancellor' would be better. Take your pick.
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Modesty almost forbade me from answering this one but due to a bizarre collaboration between myself and TT I seem to have become a runner for this event. A price collapse on this site for the aforesaid position has nothing to do with myself and more to do with Tessa Jowell inadvertently placing wagers on me for the job. I have no connection with Mrs Jowell and do not stand to make any money from this campaign.
(Tidwell for Chancellor t-shirts will be available for sale in Virgin Megastores around the country from Monday, RRP 9.99 with my catchphrase emblazoned on the back) next: Megalomania |
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Meg Alomania is the new name taken by Tessa Jowell courtesy of deed poll. Of course, this information has not been given to her spouse - as they've never communicated in anyway, shape or form since they married.
Next: Do cats really have nine lives? |
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Hope so Tommy. I love my cat.
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Is that the next amazing fact, Canny?
If so, you need to provide a 'next'. |
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"Hope so Tommy, I love my Cat" was the catchphrase of 30's music hall favourite Dickie " I'm in a pickle" Onions. Whose career was cut tragically short due to his lack of talent.
next "Variety Shows" |
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Variety Shows reached their zenith in the 1970s with Sunday Night at the London Palladium. A recent attempt by Channel 4 to bring them back to public prominence and boost daytime figures with 'Tuesday Afternoon at the Hackney Empire' proved a resounding flop. The channels plans o provide an all star line up for the pilot show were dashed when they found that there were virtually no celebrities available as they were all on reality tv duty...the resulting line up of Stu Francis, Patti Boulaye and a troupe of dancing bears from Eastern Europe failed to draw in sufficient viewing figures and the show was shelved
next: Plate spinning |
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the art of plate spinning is known to originate over 2000 years ago. the first documented evidence of it occurerd in the bible revelations 3:12 'and as thee, our saviour, you shalst prevent the plates from faling from thou sticks, and they will know they have witnessed a miracle' although many versions have been altered to remove the plate spinning references after other people started to discover how to do it, then it didnt seem so impressive.
Now, from 2014, it will be an official olympic sport, with the world record currently being held by pablo danielas of mexico who spun 43 plates continuously for over 5 weeks. next topic bouncy castles |
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Bouncy castles originated in medieval France and for a time contributed to that countrys supremacy in Europe. Developed by the foremost castle architect of his time, the Duc de b'Ouncy. they supressed many an English raid as the attackersran headlong at the castle wall only to be thrown back and impaled on spikes that surrounded the outer perimeter. After Agincourt things changed however and the arrival of the English longbow proved the demise of de B'Ouncy and his fortications. The Duc continued to build miniatures in his garden for his own pleasure and later for the ruling classes throughout Europe...resulting in 1612 with the opening of the very first Toys R Us store in Carcassonne.
next: Frogs legs |
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Famous frogs' legs down the years have included Napoleon's stout sea legs, Monsieur Hulot's pasty knobbly knees, and Thierry Henry's right pin.
Next: national stereotypes. |
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^ for TT.
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Thanks JP!
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