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Slow tie pin will become a thing of the passed when Hugh all start two you's voice recognition soft wear like what i ham.
Neck said: Tie Pins |
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A tie pin is actually a needle which failed the manufacturer's stringent quality control tests.
Next: Chupa Chups lollipops |
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Chupa Chups Lollipops are a very tasty treat indeed.They must not, however, be mistaken for Cheeky Chops Lollipops as they will only leave you with a mouthful of smiles.
Next.....Mistaken Identities........ |
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TR (Vol)
Mistaken Identity - When David Attenborough went to see a tribe in Papua New Guinea, they thought he was the Duke of Edinburgh (sort of sounds the same). Next - Chickens |
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Haven't got time at the moment, sorry.
^TR5^ |
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it's not true that only chickens would refuse to play in traffic
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next subject please honest...
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sorry....was distracted by a rather attractive news reading fem
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Spanish Inquisation
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or even...S Inquisition :)
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Fact: You'll never forget the Spanish Inquisition...
next: elephants |
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Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition. It's a little known fact that the Inquisition even put the fear of god in elephants. How else do you think Hannibal was able to persuade them to cross the Alps?
Nwxt> Ganesha |
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Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god, has become so fed up with being confused with Dennis the Menace's dog that he has changed his name to Snowy.
Next: Beano's |
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The first ever Beano comic, printed in Dundee in April 1938, was recently sold at Sotherby's auction house for 33,000.
The successful bidder was none other than 'Who' lead singer Roger Daltry who outbid Dale Winton for the privilege of owning this little piece of history. next: Pinball |
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Pinball machines offer hours of fun for many in amusement halls throught the land. A much more noisy game, which is rapidly growing in popularity, is the new invention of Peabrain, where the boinging of the boneheads causes quite a cacophony in many a theatre of dreams.
Next........The future of mankind....... |
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"The Future of Mankind" resides in the wombs of Womankind.
Next "Artificial Insemination" |
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I'm sitting here buck nekkid. Nothing artificial about this insemination.
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What's your 'next' Bodil ?
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I'm going the last one .
Artificial insemination may be of great value for future generations so long as the sperm of great men is preserved for eternity, and the present McDonalds batch is destroyed by flame thrower. Next....... Ways to ensure the survival of mankind....... |
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'ways to ensure the survival of mankind' is quite possibly the worst topic for the next post in over 1300 posts on this thread, even worse than 'Clarice Cliff' and 'white dog poo'.
Next: Postmen/women |
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Cardif is home to a thriving colony of giant marsupials, cunningly disguised as postmen and women. The marsupials, members of the "Wallaby" family, can hop up to 20 feet in one bound and make excellent distributors of mail.
Next: Gordon Ramsey |
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Gordon Ramsay is widely believed to be the man who invented the deep fried mars bar after an accident in the kitchen while suffering from a bout of the munchies. He wanted to develop it as his 'signature dish' but after an argument with former boss Michel Roux who claimed he had pinched the idea from his own 'steamed twix with almond tuiles'...a popular favourite at Le Gavroche, Ramsay elected not to serve the dish in his restaurants.
next: Michelin Stars |
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Michelin Stars were soon replaced with the more conventional Michelin Round tyres, after complaints regarding ride quality.
Next: the Horsehead Nebula. |
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In UFO circles it is widely believed that a race of Aliens from the Horsehead Nebula are planning an invasion of our planet. They are watching our everymove via their sophisticated scanning system - The Potato. This is why potatoes have eyes and only 'appeared' a few hundred years ago. They have so far been thwarted by the fact that these interstella scanners are quite tasty.
Next: Sir Walter Raleigh |
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On web site ...http://www.puslinch.net/kitchen502.html...it is stated that Old Walt introduced potatos to Ireland in 1989....This is not true.....
Next..."Misinformation" |
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http://www.puslinch.net/kitchen502.html
may work properly |
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Miss Information was the only character from the Little Miss childrens books which didnt make the cut - it was deemed its nanny style nagging would encourage small children to kill their parents - it was however passed on to the army for 'tests'
Next: Arthur Lowe |
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One of Britains foremost comedy actors, Arthur Lowe failed to build on the success of his greatest role as Captain Mainwaring in Dads Army. This was largely believed to be rooted in the insane jealousies that existed between cast members. Lowe in particular was particularly peeved when Clive Dunn beat him to it for the coveted role of 'Grandad' and also couldnt cope with the success that he believed fellow actor Arnold Ridley had with the ladies. Lowe tried his hand at scriptwriting but the BBC werent ready for his radical ideas in the late 1970s...however his talents linger on...an early blueprint was later used by Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson, with Ade taking on the role of Eddie Hitler which Lowe had created as a star vehicle for himself
next: Gasmen |
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Gasmen and Gasladies have to be carefull if indulging in 'office romances' the results of which can be devastating explosive and indeed a bit messy.
Next: Zeppelins |
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'Zeppelins' was the surname chosen by Oswald Donut of St Asaph, as he changed his name by deed poll to 'Oswald Zeppelins' in an attempt to become the final entry in the North and West Wales telephone directory. Ironically, his brave attempt failed as he spent all his money on the change of name and therefore could not afford a telephone.
Next: St Asaph, North Wales. |
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And you moaned about 'ways to ensure survival ...' !
Give us a minute then. |
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St. Asaph in North Wales is not Llangollen, in the same vicinity. That was where a police constable I know was asked, somewhere nearby, if that was half way from Liverpool. His reply was:
"How the bloody hell would I know !" Next......Daft questions....... |
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There is no such thing as daft questions; only daft answers.
Next: semicolons. |
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semi colons are colons that are not quite excited as raging colons.
Next: The Cato St conspiracy |
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pass.
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The Cat o' St Conspiracy was the name given to Tabitha, faithful feline companion to St Thomas the Doubting (patron saint of wacky internet conspiracy theorists).
Tabitha may, or may not, have met her demise after being abducted by Erwin Schrdinger and sealed in a box in 1935. Next: quantum entanglement (oh go on...) |
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quantum entanglement is the series of occurences in which....
bugger this...back to normality next topic: Gary Glitter |
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Gary Glitter was also known as Harry Fritter in this establishment. He also bore an uncanny resemblance to Shelly Winters , if you think of her with black hair.
Next.......Lookalikes......... |