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Is a natron lake found on the borders of Russia and Siberia. One of the best lakeside non swimming holiday resorts in the whole continent, but the fumes sting your eyes a bit. It is twinned with Bracknell. Not the Bracknell twinned with Opladen in Germany, but the little known Bracknell by heathrow airport where noone lives because of the motorways and the funny smell.
Next: incontinent. |
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There's a sign on the A20 : an arrow pointing to "The Continent".
Under it, in black marker : an arrow the other way - "Brighton for the INcontinent" Next : Channel Tunnel |
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BTW McNab, I thought Vostock was in Antactic : http://www.rense.com/general9/ant.htm
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Haven't a clue, getters.
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That's Vostok, no c, I think.
Anyway. Due to sandy soil beneath the Channel being unsuitable for tunnelling, the Channel Tunnel is far from being the relatively straight line it appears to be on the map. On leaving Folkestone, it actually passes beneath Eastbourne, Cowes, Lanzarote, the Central African Republic, Azerbaijan and Italy (where it shares some of its length with the Mont Blanc tunnel for cost-saving reasons) before emerging near Calais. To negotiate its 3,420-mile length in the required 35 minutes, Eurostar trains are fitted with photon boosters, "like on Star Trek or something", said a spokesman. Next: the Isle of Wight. |
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The Isle of Wight was invented by Londoner James Peckham, to give his fellow**neys a rhyming slang term for 'a poo'. He also invented the Barclays Bank.
Next: YOUR bank manager |
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I can't say anything about YOUR bank manager as I don't know him. Come to think of it I don't know MY bank manager either as the nominal branch is hundreds of miles away and I have to employ Mr Mouse to access my account.
Next>hole in the wall |
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The hole in the wall gang, were led by Butch Cassidy, known later for his association with the Sundance Kid... That is why Sheriff Kerrymoore tracked them down.
Next.....Did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff ?....... |
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Yes
Next : Has anyone been arrested for the homicide of his Deputy? Hmm |
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'Has anybody been arrested for the **cide of his deputy? Hmm' was to have been Marley's follow-up to 'I shot the sheriff' , but he changed his mind and released some song about donuts.
Next: Jam |
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Describes the art of squeezing as many cooked fruits as possible into the same jar, after which cool and refuse to leave the jar again.
This has nothing to do with the pop group. Next: Groups. |
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Groups rhymes with hoops. Celtic play in green and white hoops in Scotland. Scotland is where Billy Connoly was born. Billy Connolly used to advertise the National Lottery. I never win f*#k all on the National Lottery.
Next: Wasting money |
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Wasting money is an art perfected by the young and usually female of the species, in order to take up wasted space in their frontal lobes, thereby giving them something to think about. Unfortunately, the price is usally paid by the male of the species, either directly or via mumikins.
Next......The price good men pay......... |
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The price good men pay to go to the toilet at Charing Cross station is ridiculous. IMVHO - Humble human beings should have to pay a p!ss tax. Dogs, however, should be charged extortionate amounts for dropping their mess everywhere and their owners put before a firing squad.
NEXT: Stealth taxes... |
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Stealth Taxis operate at night in London. They are sleek, black and fast. Used by late night drinkers to get home in double sharp speed, and undetectable by the wife as they pull up outside the house. Giving you time to say ' Honey, I left 30 minutes early, and walked home.'
Next : White lies |
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The French refer to their national teams as les Bleus and to all English teams as les White.
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Next: coq-au-vin
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Not me, I don't want a ban
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Coq au vin can be rather sordid, even with a mattress in the back.
Next: Backs |
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'Backs' is the name Belgians use for the lager we call 'Becks'. This is because there is actually no letter 'e' in the Belgian language. Not a lot of people know that.
Next: Michael Caine |
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Caine's real name is Maurice Micklewhite.
Next: The continuing influence of Sir Nigel Gresley on modern era rolling stock. |
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The continuing influence of Sir Nigel Gresley on modern rolling stock, can be seen in the continual quest for higher speeds by trains today.
One of Sir Gresley's best known innovations was his responsiblity for the A1/A3 'Flying Scotsman' class 4-6-2, one of which, (Papyrus), once held the world speed record for steam locomotives at 108 mph. Unfortunately, trains today usually travel at about 8 mph, on most journeys. Next........Flying Scotsmen.......... |
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The scene is a typical scottish town, in the early 1920's. Harold Abrahams & Eric Liddell have just returned home from the pub with their regular friday night chicken vindaloo from Mussobini's Curry House. The eat the food, then wait for 20 seconds while it takes its toll on their stomach, and then....they're off - only one outside toilet, and two scotsmen absolutely bursting for a ****. Round the settee and Abrahams has a slight lead, but Leddell nips inside him at the table and takes the lead by kitchen door. The sprint past the cooker and out into the garden, but Liddel is baulked by next doors cat, and Abrahams sprints clear to reach the outside toilet in record time. This has been immortalised in the film "Carryouts of Fire".
Next: My Boomerang Won't Come Back. |
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In the summer of 76 i was given a boomerang by a relative who had been travelling around the outback of Austrailia. Many a happy hour was spent out on the green opposite my house throwing it to my hearts content. However after 15 smashed windows, 4 car crashes and a canine fatality it became obvious that the said boomerang was infact a stick!
Next: B**stard lying Uncles |
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interlude : LOL
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Any number of B**stard lying Uncles have to be ten times better than the average Mother******...
next: The Mothers of Invention |
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The Mother's of Invention were once Frank Zappa's supporting band. There again, I might be mistaken, as I'm too tired to remember.
I'm just a supporter of interesting long standing threads. Next......Support Stockings........ |
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"Support Stockings" was the slogan of the Fishnet Underwear, Cotton Knickers and Interesting Nylons Group, a popular movement in Paris in the 1940s to campaign against the boring underwear becoming popular due to wartime rationing.
They were very successful, and lent their acronym to the decade of the Fifties, which led inexorably to the Swinging Sixties. Next: Belle de Jour |
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Just look at that rogue apostraphe in ' Mothers ' at 02:03----ggrrrrr, I hate 'em.
Sorry chaps, please carry on.................... |
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Its a little known fact that perma-tanned, ever grinning antiques monkey David Dickinson was a cyclist in his earlier years, and in 1975 finished 56th in the Giro d'Italia (tour of Italy) for the 'Belle du Jour' team. Dickinson also took part in that years Tour de France, but retired during the third stage after skidding on a bag of 'cheap *****.
Next: New Fanta Z! |
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Originally the phrase was copyrighted by french haute coiture house Chanel. An oversight by a legal secretary led to renewal failing allowing the phrase to be hijacked by anyone. Most recently used on the an adult tv station featuring Abi Titmuss and the Coca Cola Bottling Company. A legal epic is bound to ensue.
next B&Q |
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Named after Jeremiah Baloney and Hank 'udders' Quincy, the 2 men who first set up the company, B & Q is a very succesful chain of DIY stores, despite the staffs' dodgy uniform. A similar venture by Samuel Smith and Moriarty Mills failed to take off for some reason.
Next: Sherlock Holmes |
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known only to financial bods "in the know" Sherlock Holmes is the CEO of theholding/parent company for most of the well known house builders in the land. Privately owned with and sister (Kelly), he deals with the CEOs of the various subsidiary companies in a ruthless, "no sh1t" manner.
Next: uPVC |
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uPVC windows are the best thing since sliced bread. Why people used to use sliced bread as windows god only knows.
Next: Jose 'I am god' Mourinho |
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often confused with the Jose "I am good" Mourinho who manages the famous english football club, Jose "I am God" Mourinho is one of the success stories of the Spanish Govt's equivalent of care in the community. Although he suffers from delusions of grandeur, he has found his niche in life as a crossings supervisor shepherding children across the road on their way to school in the town of Andalucia.
Next Clarice Cliff |
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Clarice Cliff is now a very famous name in the pottery collecters world. However, when my mother was younger, she derided Ms Cliff's ware, more than somewhat, and said it was only fit to be sold in Woolworths, (which, in point of fact, it was), thereby missing a golden opportunity to actually have a objet d' art, in the house, instead of a load of old tat.
Next......Missed Opportunities..... |
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Clarice Cliff is not actually a person, or a cliff, or a horse, or indeed a greyhound. Wait a minute, it'll come to me............ah yes, Clarice Cliff is a style of pottery, which is really really exciting. Other such exciting subjects include trainspotting, knitting and supporting Blackburn Rovers.
Next: Egil Ostenstadt |
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Missed oppurtunities - see above.
Next : Typing too slowly |