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To distinguish between Troy McClure and Troy Mclure go here
http://www.mbhs.edu/~bconnell/cgi-bin/anagram.cgi Entering the letters of the respective names results in quite different answers. Troy McClure is an anagram of Mercury Clot while Troy Mclure is Rot My Ulcer. Next: Compulsive Posting Disorder |
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Compulsive Posting Disorder has yet to be identified by many in the medical community as an actual condition. However in a recent copy of the Lancet this condition and the potentially more lethal 'forum addiction' were ascribed to be potentially as dangerous to an individual as alcoholism. Victims usually start off with innocuous postings but find themselves gradually talking more and more b*llocks until such a stage when they are unable to form a conversation which contains any semblance of fact.
next: Pythagoras's Theorem |
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Pythagoras' Theorum, is not to be confused with, Python's Theorum......
Or you may end up constricting yourself in knots. Next..... Pythons |
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John Parrot first became famous not as a snooker players but as the writer and performer of the legendary Python Sketch, in which a customer rails against a pet shop salesman about his dead python.
Next; Lumberjacks |
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*knots*, meant to say circles, by the way.
Lumberjacks are known as being a hardy breed of men, but always ckeck on their underwear for verification, before making assumptions. Next.... Underwear |
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Under Wear? is a commonly asked question in the Nether Regions.
next: The Nether Regions |
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The Nether Regions have previously been known as the Spanish Nether Regions and, briefly, the Batavian Dangly Bits.
Next: Old Amsterdam |
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Changed its name from Old Hamster Jam after the PC brigade banned the use of hamsters in food products. The jam factory is now a betting shop.
Next: Jam |
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Old Amsterdam was largely pulled down in the 19th century due to complaints by residents about the tremendous noise caused by little mice with clogs on. Johannes Vermeer claimed he found it impossible to paint because of the constant clip clippety clop on the stairs and Van Gogh was so upset he cut off his ear. The plan backfired for Old Amsterdams artists however when they discovered that no one wanted to buy paintings of the new city sparking a revival in still lifes of plates of fruit and cheese.
next: Van Der Valk |
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oops too late...I blame Fern Britton
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When Bob Marley wrote Jam ming, he was going to say 'we're jamming in de Van der de Valke', but after a re-think, changed it to, '... in the name of the lord'. Jamaicans and Dutch people still query the point today.
Next....Jamaica |
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lol Rod, great post anyway.
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Jamaica,
a land of jokes, a young man truly in love with his girlfriend decided to have her name tattooed on his pen1s, her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the pen1s was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was W Y. Shortly after the couple was married and they were honeymooning in Jamaica, the man was in a bathroom in Jamaica, and standing next to him was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his pen1s. The American said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?" The Jamaican replied, "No, Man that says, 'Welcome To Jamaica Have a Nice Day'". next, Wendy Burger |
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Eastenders actress Wendy Richard was born Wendy Burger...she changed her name after marrying Little Richard in the late 60s in a short and unsuccessful marriage
next: Tutti Frutti |
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Tutti Frutti is an accident of language. An early explorer of the Polonesian island of Bora Bora took his wife on the trip and once ashore, the natives were perplexed at the ladies attire, covered as she was from head neck in a long dress. As the native girls wore nothing but grass skirts, they were curious as what was hidden underneath, particularly as the lady was extremely well endowed. Once theire confidence was gained, the lady began to offer the natives a range of gifts and one lad reached out to inspect the lady's bossom. She shrieked to her husband - 'he touched my fruit'. Once the misunderstanding had been explained (impolite to grope a stranger on first meeting) and following the eductation of islanders in english and numeracy, the phrase Tutti Frutti was coined - as in Two Fruit - or in common Bora Bora parlance - Tutti Frutti.
next: - cosi van tutte |
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ttt...
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Cosivantutte was the successor to Tutankhamun. Not blessed with the wealth of his predecessor, the unfortunate pharaoh was buried in an old tent from Milletts with a paper bag on his head.
Next: The Lost Valley of the Incas. |
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When I was at school I was taught that everything was invented in Britain apart from E=MC2 which was invented by a German with fuzzy hair and a big moustache.
After watching Horizon on TV I later discovered that some things were invented by ancient civilizations and then forgotten. So it was with printing which was invented by a tribe in a lost valley in South America. The conquistadores named them Incas after their multicoloured fingers. Next > E=MC2 |
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E=MC2...is the equasion created by Albert Einstein, who had worked for many years to bring this to the world....he was a German sausage muncher and this may well be the reason it took him so lond to reach his conclusions........
next: Hobbits and their breeding habits... |
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Hobbits like to have sex a lot, hence the expression 'Hobbit-Forming'
Next: Lord of the Dance |
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Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance is a music and dancing extravaganza charting the life and times of Lionel Blair chronicling his humble beginnings until the peak of his career when becoming a team captain in Give Us A Clue
next: Cluedo |
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TGM in the kidneys with the lead piping
Next: Parlour Games |
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Small company set up by Ex-Arsenal player Ray Parlour.
They make a few types of games, all of which are won when the score reaches 1-0 Next: Deliverance |
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Deliverance is the tale of city boy TGM moving to the countryside after an operation to remove lead piping from his kidneys.
He's got a real purty hole there now, and stores his cigars in it. Next : Squeeeeeeeallll Piggy |
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In the village of March in Cambridgeshire the ratio of men to women is 10:1. So when the local lads leave the pub late at night looking for some action they wander into the countryside and shouts of Squeeeeeeeal Piggy can be heard as they find their partners.
Next : This Little Piggy Went To Market |
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LOL
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Town, not village btw.
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luddite ...pmsl....
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TO BE CONTINUED
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^
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up
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And, this little piggy went home.
If he didn't, he'll soon be sizzled. Next......Sizzlers...... |
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sausages sizzling sitting in the pan..until along came Sam the sausage eating man......
next; welding.... |
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It is not a good idea to take up welding, if you are trying to weld your own beliefs on someone else, in any walk of life. That is why I'm a true believer in democracy and 'each to his own'.
Next.......Democracy...... |
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Democracy was invented by the Americans to repress free thinking ...
next yankee doodle dandy |
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A yankee doodle dandy is a betting slip written out illegibly covering four horses in all combinations of doubles and above placed by an extremely well dressed punter.
Next: March |
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MARCH IS THE THIRD MONTH OF THE YEAR, ACCORDING TO THE EARLY ROMAN CALENDER IT WAS THE FIRST AND WAS CALLED MARTIUS.ITS NAME HONOURS MARS THE ROMAN GOD OF WAR
NEXT.. FRISBEE. |
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Damn....
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Frisbees are often mistaken for UFOs in photographs particularly by Americans. If you see an object an mid-air and are unsure simply shout out the phrase 'klaatu barada nikto'...if the object continues to fly past the chances are that it is indeed a frisbee and the worst that can happen is that you will attract suspicious glances from sun worshippers on the beach. If however the object stops and hovers in mid air prepare to run for your life to escape its lethal death ray
next : Tom Cruise |
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Going on a 'Tom Cruise' is slang used only in The Bill, and means driving around looking for prostitutes. Not to be confused with 'Gay Cruise'
Next: Tosh |