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Kitten Kong was King Kong and Kit Kat Kong's baby daughter...
next: Kit Kat |
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The Kit Kat is the 3rd most popular 'chocolate snack' consumed in the UK behind mint viscounts and lemon curd Wagon wheels. It is estimated that 23,000 people in Britain are having a kit-kat at any one time and average daily sales often top 2 million. If you laid all the Kit-Kats that were sold on an average Tuesday from junction 10a on the M6 to junction 8 they would almost certainly get run over or eaten by birds,rats,ferrets and the like.
NEXT: James Herbert |
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James Herbert was an intelligent man and was sensitive about being called a right Herbert so he changed his name by deed poll to Mike Hunt.
Next > name calling |
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Name-Calling is for immature idiots- you muppit!
Next- Numpties |
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The next James Bond epic movie is to be entitled Lawnraker. Our legendary hero will do battle with the twin global menace of mutant ninja spagnum moss and a hybrid version of hibbertia hypericoides.
In order to please the cinema going numpties he will gratuitously execute a few foreign looking double glazing salesmen and a group of religious cranks who have the misfortune to ring his doorbell. Certain high profile young actresses will also get their kit off. You can enter our prize draw for two tickets by texting A, B or C to the following question: Which of the following is a garden vegetable? A) Pancreas Parsley B) Lung Leeks C) Kidney Beans Next > Jehovah's Witnesses. |
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Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Jehovah'.
Next: Blasphemers |
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You could more or less SWEAR that there is a whole army of BLASPHEMERS just around the corner so it is a very very very very good idea to keep a few handy STONES in your pocket, just in case...
next: A Rolling Stone Gathers |
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Mick Jagger utterly failed to pull supermodel Kate at last years Q Awards, thus proving the popular adage.
Next: Pete Doherty. |
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Was born in 1983 as the direct result of scientists in Winchester trying to Breed a Zebra with a bar of Turkish Delight. As a result he now as uncontrollable urge for stripes and things of eastern flavours.
Next Bean Bags |
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Bean Bags were developed originally by NASA scientists in an attempt to provide a soft landing for space capsules returning to earth.
Next: Space |
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You might think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Next: peanuts. (Or Peanuts, if you prefer) |
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Peanuts are an extremely useful energy resource for people planning intergalactic travel.
Next: Ford Prefects |
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Peanuts are more tasty and absorbent than any other legume, hence their popularity as a free snack on the bars of pubs ..... and their name :(
Next: The benefits of drinking your own urine |
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Can't say much about prefects, as I refused to be one , through stupid 'rules'. However, my dear old dad used to have a 'Ford Anglia', known as an 'angula', by many in these parts.
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oi!
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Next... Ridiculous Rules....
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Sorry Orioles, I take too long typing, didn't realise it was your call.
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It wasn't!
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Some of the most ridiculous rules around can be found in drinking games but if you are prepared to swallow your own urine you can derive considerable benefits if money is involved...just ask Joanna Lumley.
next: Sapphire and Steel |
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Sapphire and Steel was originally conceived as a natural successor to Cannon and Ball, but that idea was fatally weakened by the reluctance of Cannon and Ball to f*ck off to Great Yarmouth and Joanna Lumley's refusal to grow the appropriate moustache. It's eventual rebranding was down to the inspiration of Peter Purvis.
Next: Cannons. |
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Just wanted to say Rod T. ,
What an excellent conjoining of posts ! |
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cannons is a chain of vastly overpriced health clubs where people practise the ancient art of
Circuit Trainig |
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Circuit Trainig is an anagram of Uri: Git In Arctic, which coincidentally was the title of a pilot episode made by Channel Five in 2003, intended to foreshadow a 12-part series in which spoon-bending Israeli Uri Geller would play practical jokes on Eskimos in Canada's Nunavut territory.
The series was shelved indefinitely after Geller was caught in a compromising position with a polar bear cub and a block of semi-molten seal blubber. Next: spoons. |
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lol azir
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'Artis the Spoonman', is probably the most famous spoon player in the world.
Pete Seeger has called him..."the best damn spoon player in the universe"... He has played on sidewalks and bars all around the world and is a very famous man in his home town of Seattle. Appearances have been made with Zappa, Aerosmith and k.d.lang on stage and he has also appeared on the David Letterman show. Next.....Seattle. |
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Slew the opposition.
Next : Infrequent posters |
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Ambitious plans to build a record-breaking Seattle-Carlisle railway line in the 1860s were scuppered, when draughtsmen failed to spot a typo on the plans.
The resulting line, erroneously built through the bleak landscapes of Cumbria to the North Yorkshire town of Settle, necessitated 72 miles of track, 17 major viaducts and 14 tunnels, and although picturesque it is generally considered to be a white elephant. Next: white elephants. |
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curses!
Infrequent posters are the diametric opposite of double posters, a notable example of which are those who post Amazing Facts without checking whether the thread has moved on. Next: white elephants. Again. |
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White elephants are something not worth bothering about, like entering Glimmer's quizzes unless you are a member of The Inner Circle.
Next: The Inner Circle |
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An inflatable white elephant was used to procure a "no" vote in the North East Assembly referendum. It is generally recognised that the "yes" camp failed to steal a trick by not emplying lots of little pink ones to identify with the electorate.
Next: White high heels |
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OI - ignore 'im. I was first.
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The Inner Circle is so secret we don't know all the members.
Next : More white elephants.... |
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"White elephants again" said Hannibal on awakening on a frosty alpine morning.
Next > Carthage |
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Some fast typing there , after you gentlemen.
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Carthage is one of those ancient places that nobody is certain exists anymore, like Troy, Babylon or Salisbury.
Next: Troy McLure. |
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Carthage is Latin for the tribute you paid for crossing a river in Roman times. It originated in Bosphorus. There is a very clever pun in there which only a classical scholar or jimmythejobber (Land Economy. cantab.) would be able to work out.
Next: What job should TGM get or is he going to carry on being a househusband ? OK then, househusband |
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sparkmaster
Please stop butting in and being so previous. |
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lol
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Troy McLure was invented purely to taunt that legend of the cricket forum the real Troy McClure.
There can be no doubt that the real Troy McClure is not a househusband but as for Troy McLure ... Who knows? Next Troy McClure |