A fine performance by all. Well done Sparkmaster.

'A notable landmark was reached today and those involved will remember what they were doing when it happened in the same way that they will remember 911 or the death of John Lennon'...not my words but the words of Germaine Greer on hearing the news about this thread...you can see the interview on the Late Show later this week

next: Sweetbreads

Sweetbreads are in fact the swollen eardrum of the beluga sturgeon. This delicacy is prepared in the traditional manner on the Iranian shores of the Caspian Sea by playing Sacha Distel LPs into the water at volumes in excess of 105dB.

Contrary to their name, sweetbreads should not be inserted in an electric toaster.

Next: 13-amp fuses.

are mostly Pariisennes.

Next : Le Tricolore

Flags are rarely still and french flags are never ever la...

next: Expresso Coffee

Expresso Coffee was the sequel to Expresso Bongo (1960). The idea was that they would make a new film every year beginning with the subsequent letter of the alphabet (EB itself having been a sequel to the little known Expresso Agatha), and that the series would acquire the prestige of the 'Road to' films.

Sadly, Cliff Richard was unable to take part in filming due to one of his testicles exploding, his replacement, Elvis Presley, had little of the same animal sexuality, and the series stalled.

Next: Wet dreams

Hands Free kits for cars are a fantastic invention which has enabled drivers to concentrate on tuning in their Satelite Navigations systems and play their on board PS2's rather than continually crash whilst answer those pesky phones

Next: The Duck billed platypuss

The first ever commercial ringtone was invented by Pierre Antagonistico. It was called the Crazy Duck Billed Platypus. Unfortunately this was in 1453, and the lack of mobile phones mean't his dreams of riches remained unfulfilled. The population, however, hated it so much that every time they saw a Duck Billed Platypus they were reminded of the ringtone and killed the creature. Within 4 months the animal was extinct.

Next: Crispy Fried Frog

Anti French restaurants in France have been banned from serving Crispy Fried Frog, which is traditionally fried at the table in front of the customer after being personally selected from a collection of live frogs kept in a mini swamp in the central restaurant area. The French government felt that it was unfair that non Crispy Fried Frog customers should be subjected to the overall nauseous spectacle and therefore passive and non passive Crispy Fried Froggery has been outlawed.

next: The Armpit

Birmingham has more miles of bicycle paths than any other British city. This is attributed to the large numbers of Dutch and Chinese immigrants and the town's reputation of 'The Cycling Capital of Britain!'.

Next: The Netherlands

ox-tail soup should be made with a fresh oxtail, onions, tomatoes, potatoes and carrots...remove the meat once it is cooked, liquidise the soup and return the meat after you have stripped it from the bone...add a dash of sherry and Bob is your senior male relative...... ;)

you have to be a very small person to manage travels in turkey...

next: Lilliput

Next: TV property shows

The difference for women experiencing 'The Change' is that once a month they quite literally have to get the painters in. Hence a proliferation of Painters and Decoraters business cards left at local Darby and Jone Clubs

Next: Roget

Can somebody who knows how, please save this thread in case it disappears between 8 & 9 tomorrow morning...

RIP.............

Derby n Joan clubs originated in WAles,

its actually DArby and Jones, Central Eating engineers Co Ltd

The Central Eating Company was founded by a D Jones, who only had one tooth on the top rank, and one on the botton row hence he was called "Jones Central ' eating". later it was just called derby and jones


Next ---------------------------------------- N H S dentists lists

Havent seen Berts post for a few days, and notice he retired from Betting Comp.

Hope is Ok

Next, Liquirice AlBerts

Following a failure in the technology of the proposed new ID cards, meaning that facial recognition only has a 60% success rate, and retina scanning only a 90% success rate, scientists were charged with finding a new way to identify everyone. A small independent firm from Cambridge have discovered that belly button fluff may be the answer, as it is unique to each of us. 0.5 gms of fluff is embedded in a microchip in the card, and a further sample will be sent to a government repository at cheltenham to act as a control. Whenever your card is scanned the fluff is checked by a telephone link to GCHQ, and your identity is verified. In the 0.00018% of cases where the identity cannot be verified, you simply lift your shirt and give an on-the-spot sample. The cards are estimated to cost only 3.87 each, but cheltenham racecourse may need to close to provide storage facilities for 60million pieces of fluff.

Next: GCHQ

One of the most talked off conspiracy theories was the apollo moon landings. These were actually filmed on a set made by Valerie Singleton out of washing up bottles and corn flake boxes on a car park in north Nottinghamshire.

What Neil Armstrong actually said was "its one small step for man, one giant step for Mansfield".

Next - Highlighter Pens.