We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
Your discussions, insights, engagement, and, most importantly, feedback have helped shape the platform and guided innovation. Your feedback continues to be important to us, and we will continue to listen via our dedicated feedback channels, as well as through product testing and innovations.
To share your feedback and experience, visit: https://support.betfair.com/app/home
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Keanu Reeves, who played Ted (or was it Bill) went on to achieve great Hollywood success. By contrast, Alex Winter, who played Bill (or was it Ted) now works in a particularly dingy branch of Ladbr0kes on Commercial Road, E1.
Next: Jack the Ripper. |
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The introduction of personal shredders made his redundancy inevitable.
Next: Confidential documents. |
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Confidential Documents was the original name of the early 80's ELO alcum Secret Messages. It was only changed after it was pointed out that in Sweden 'Confidential Documents' means 'Tiny**.
Next: Jamie Theakstone. |
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Jamie Theakstone is the Chief Brewer at Theakstone's Brewery. He is in charge of brewing Theakstones 'Old Peculiar' which he stirs himself, using his very large and splendid personal stirring device, known to fellow workers as his 'Tiny**.
next: home brew |
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Whilst extremely cheap, it has never really taken off as an alternative to cheal beer. This has wrongly been attributed to its poor taste, the real reason being the need to stir each 482 bottles individually with a larger utensil than that available to Theakston's (see above), despite the narrowness of gauge on each bottle.
Next: Euston station |
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To the casual observer Euston Station has twently platforms. However there is a little know 21st platform at the Drummond street end of the station. This platform is used exclusively by fairground 'Ghost trains' and travel between Euston and Willesdon Junction - however it is not for the faint hearted.
Next: Flash Gordon |
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The original Flash Gordon of the black and white movie 'shorts' was played by Boris Karloff who also starred as Tarzan - a job he landed after representing Sweden at archery in the 1908 Olympics.
Next: "aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" |
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aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is not as commonly thought the sound of tarzan made when swinging through the jungle -
it was the noise he made when running through the undergrowth with bare feet and he stood on a bee! Next: Cheetah - and his life after hollywood |
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aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhha-
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Is the original name of a Scandinavian pop group, but like their name has stretched the forum page, it would not fit onto a 45 r.p.m. record either. So they called themselves Slade. Next : Slayed |
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Too late TGM ;)
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Note to diary. - do not open a page for posting unless you have already typed the message and saved it in Word.....:(
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Cheetah very much enjoyed his life after Hollywood and had a particular liking for a nice cigar.
However, like a lot of the gentlemen on here, what he enjoyed most of all, was a darn good **** next: Ocean Finance |
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Jointly responsible, with their customers, for the serious debt burden that hangs over the economy like .........
Next: The Sword Of Damocles |
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let's have a race to see who can fall asleep the quickest!
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ok, you first.
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Whilst suspended over-head, a single strand of rope holding the sword, prevented the death of the person sitting below it. Ironically, in the case of Tory M.P.s, suspenders over their head together with a strand of rope tied round the neck, often kills them.
Next: tangerines |
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Tangerine (n): female inhabitant of Tangiers. Known for their love of apple tea, "scented" tobacco and flogging dodgy carpets to tourists.
Next: Morocco. |
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Bob Hope & Bing Crosby were due to make a film called The Road To Luton, but due to funding problems the government decided to pull the plug on the proposed widening of the M1. So they went and filmed in Morocco instead.
Next: Road Films |
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i won sparkmaster, i dropped off after 2 seconds!
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Well done.
Road films started to take over from rail films in the 1930's. |
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Oops....
...whcih themselves had taken over from canal films some 200 years previously. Today road films are themselves being rendered obsolete by the interweb. Next: The Rocket. |
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Stephensons 'Rocket' was originally invented to carry passengers from one place to another. However, with some moderation to the wheels, and new props on the gearbox, it went on to win a snooker championship. Meanwhile the 'Whirlwind' has become a train.
Next : Spiders |
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Close examination of the more successful javelin throwers of the 1980's, in particular Petra Felk and Fatima Whitbread, shows that spiders played an important part of their success. What stuffing them down their leotards, save for a few legs, was designed to achieve is beyond me.
Next: Wings |
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but you learnt your lesson and never tried to get in their leotards more than once. as for the javelins you never could be sure where they were throwing them because..
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The only way to fly is to flap your wings at a vast rate of knots. That is why aeroplanes have engines, as the vibrations from the motors make the wings flap up and down much quicker than can be detected by the human eye. Gliders work in exactly the same way, except without the engines.
Next: Kites. |
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According to Barry Took, flying a kite was the fourth gayest thing you could do. The top five were:
5. Saying 'whoopsadaisy" 4. Flying a kite 3. Country Dancing 2. Making a daisy chain 1.**ging a man up the a*se. Next: Country dancing. |
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In olden days, before the introduction of dating agencies, anyone shy and timid asking for advice on meeting the opposite sex would be told "Try Dancing". If they were not timid, but had a much more aggressive nature, and were not asking for advice, but rather shouting, and generally making a nusiance of themselves, they would be told "Country Dancing".
Next: The Reverand Spooner |
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Rev Spooner inadvertant invester of spoonerisms.
ie kinkering Kongs and such like twing twosters. Its difficult to remember them off hand, un less you are a**old dean. Next FROTTAGE ( very rude ) |
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In the early days of 3 day eventing, the first event was not dressage but frottage, when Greek soldiers would stand on their horse and fight using only their genitals...if they managed to unseat the other they won the match. Extra points were awarded for the style in which they won. Alexander the Great was particularly good at it although this fact wasnt really portrayed in the recent film (Oliver Stone wanted a scene with Colin Farrell performing frottage but he couldnt master the art to Stone's liking).
next: Captain Birds Eye |
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Captain Birds Eyes first name was Clarence. They wanted to make a wildlife documentary about him, along with the fish in Lake Victoria, but a cross eyed lion ate him first. Production costs were already through the roof so they made the programme into a kids thing about the lion instead. The actor who plays Cpt. Birdseye in the adverts works in the local Co-op at Xmas.
Next : Gorillas in the Mist |
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Gorillas are often mistaken for being in the 'mist', but they're really in the 'midst'.
Next: DFS |
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DFS - Originates from the initials of the co-founder's grandchildren David,Fergus and Susan.
His wife wanted to name the company after their 4 labradors Trixy, Willard, Archie and Tyson, fortunately he completely ignored her idea. NEXT: Eastenders pets. |
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Roly was unique in history as the only dog that was actually a stipulation of the licence for the Queen Vic. That was why he killed Eddie Royle and pinned it on Nick Cotton.
Next: Gramophones |
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The first practical phonograph was built by the American inventor Thomas Edison in 1877. Edison recorded sound on a cylinder, which was then rotated against a needle. The needle moved up and down in the grooves of the cylinder, producing vibrations that were amplified by a conical horn. Because of the vertical movement of the needle, this recording method was called the hill-and-dale process.
Next: Dale Winton |
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Dale Winton, the popular writer and broadcaster, began his media career as DJ for BBC radio Carlisle in 1979.
Working under his real name, Brian Tango, he built up a cult following in the Carlisle area with his easy listening slot on Sunday evenings. His catch-phrase ''you've been tangoed'' proved so popular it was adopted by a drinks company in 1985 to advertise its fizzy orange, netting Brian a cool million pounds. next Peter Glaze |
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It's Friday. It's 5 to 5. And it's......(wait for it).................Crackerjack. CRACKERJACK. Crackerjack pencils regularly fetch in excess of 5,000 on e-bay, and provided a substantial second pension for Peter Glaze.
Next: Stakeholder pensions |
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Stakeholder pensions are boarding houses in vampire-free areas of Transylvania. The fact that they can declare themselves vampire-free after government assessment means that they benefit from tax allowances and need not pay VAT on hot food containing garlic.
Next: Melchester Rovers |
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Melchester Rovers were a famous comic book team (I had a vague interest in football when I was very young, it soon waned). Their greatest triumph came when they won the cup final 3-2 with a goal in the last 10 seconds. There was a crease in the page and nobody noticed Alf Tupper speed in from the right and toe punt the ball into the top left corner of the net. There were shouts of offside but Tupper was fast, and by the time the referees had consulted the linesman, Alf was gone. The goal stood, and Roy and Alf became best friends.
Next : Season tickets |