We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
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Villages are excellent places to find cottages, conveniently offering a range of cottaging activity for the rural community.
Next: binooculars |
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Nasa only plumped for the design of the Hubble Space Telescope after the preferred Hubble Space Binnoculars proved too expensive.
Next: Elvis Presley |
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Rumours that Elvis is working as a bus driver for a moon-based public transport service are slightly wide of the mark.
He is in fact, as the famous song tells us, working at my local chip shop. Next: The moon. |
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The Moon is not made of green cheese. Ironically, however, the Kraft corporation do own a big slice of it and the dark side, should it ever be lit, will show up as a giant advert for Philadelphia.
With Garlic and Herbs Next: Napoleon Brandy |
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Napoleon Brandy was originally not brandy at all but was infact the urine of the famous french general collected by his guards on his island prison of Elba and exported worldwide.
Next: Quentin Tarantino |
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Napolean Brandy starred in "Bouncy bouncy at the Brazilian go go club". A classic of its genre but not widely available.
Next: the internet |
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Quentin Tarantino was married to Alberto Tarantini, Argentinian world cup winner, ex-Birmingham player and Hula Hoop world champion four years running (1992-1995). They divorced over a cutlery disagreement.
Next: Runcible spoons. |
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go ahead Luffucus.
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Runcible spoons are of course particularly usefull for eating mince, and slices of quince. However what isnt so commonly known is that they are particularly usefull for de-fluffing belly buttons and unblocking drains - you may want to wash them after though!
Next: Edward Lear |
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There once was a chap on the forum
Whose posts always lacked in decorum Said Bert "You're a goof!" The reply - "you've no proof!" Bert says "Yes, I do cos I store 'em" Next: Cork |
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Cork is the European Capital of Culture 2005. Lille was in 2004, and slightly better. Liverpool will get it in 2008 and is somewhat worse. So by extrapolation, in 2015 it will be Rhyl.
Next: Go for it! |
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The 'Go for it' fashion wrist bands are in fact government tracking devices currently being used to see if a 'Go for it' tax can be introduced. Anybody who excessively 'Go's for it' can expect hefty bills.
And dont be fooled by the 'Cant be arsed' wrist bands either! Next: Captain Link Hogthrob |
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no one?
...ok ill do it! Captain Link Hogthrob the porcine commander of the S.S. Swinetrek was voted pig of the year in 1979 narrowly beating Pinky the pig. Perky blew his chances after being caught in the Sheep enclosure one friday night and was unable to offer an explanation why. Next: Radio Caroline |
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Radio Caroline was the great con of the sixties. It all took place in my loft in the area now occupied by the WMD. And Tony Blackburn is in fact Bella Emberg in a wig.
Next: Support stockings |
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and ban tights.
Next : Funambulism |
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Funambulism if not spotted young in infants can develop into Manic Funambulism...sufferers find they have a compulsion to cycle on a rope over Niagara Falls and can result in premature death..if you think you have get in touch with your local funambulists support group which can be found in the yellow pages
next: Captain Beakys Band |
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Totally disagree with TGM...........
Keith Michell did the voice over on Capt. Beaky's Band. He is also renowned for playing Henry VIII at Conkers. The result of the match is unknown as Norwich City Council decided......................... |
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ill take conkers as the next subject then?
In the forthcoming election the Liberal party has decided to introduce legislation so that in future all Hostile Coporate takeovers will be decided by a game of conkers Next: Captain Birdseye |
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Captain Birdseye makes the very best fish fingers....Mums Dads and kids adore them.....several strange tribes live in his beard......
next; Man in space |
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Ozzy Osbourne has gone deaf because of the volume that Black Sabbath played at and the Man in Space is inside his head. His lovely wife Sharon is very talented and famous for doing.............
Supermarket Adverts |
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Supermarket Adverts are an incidous mind control tool set up by the illuminati to influence everyday people to enter into a routine slapping of their arse ritual - there by lowering the morals of an entire nation and leaving it open to manipulated at will
Next: Boomerangs |
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The average Australian gets through 20 boomerangs in ayear in the mistaken belief that by throwing them they will come back
next: Cornish Pasties |
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These overrated fast food can make you very very daft indeed, as seen by the postings of lampus who seems to be against our next link which is
Foxhunting. |
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The last wild Cornish pasty was photographed by a Belgium tourist in the summer of 1997 nothing has been seen of it since - Ginsters has been embarking on a policy of breeding them in captivity for many years now but for some reason seem reluctant to release them back into the cornish countryside.
Next: Dinosaurs |
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Oops carry on
Next: Foxhunting |
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Foxhunting is not allowed so is very popular but is still not as popular as fishing which is allowed
next: fishing |
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Fishing is society's way of including people who like eating worms, maggots, coloured feathers and bits of silver paper.
Next: The one that got away. |
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Pictorially speaking...
Next: Bob Nudd |
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Bob Nudd's DVD - 'A Guide To Carp And Tench On The Pole' has had the misfortune to be the cause for dawn raids by customs and excise on no fewer than 46 unsuspecting mail order customers from the Bob Nudd website - www.inthenuddy.co.uk
Next: The Duchy of Cornwall |
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It is a commonly held misconception that the song 'Pass the Duchy' by Musical Youth was inspired by drugs...it was in fact a blatant copy of an early poem by Prince Charles during his rebellious period when he had a desire to forego his titles and be at one with nature. Musical Youths follow up single..'A Monstrous Carbuncle on the Face of A Dearly Loved Friend' although critically acclaimed at the time of the release failed to impress the public in the same way and reached only number 269 in the charts
next: sub space containment fields |
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sub space containment fields are being sold off by the present government at an increasing rate, continuing a policy started in the early 1990's by Sir John Major.
Obesity and inactivity in the children of today make some commentators wonder if this is a wise move. next, John Motson |
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When John Motson famously said "And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction" many thought it was just another amusing gaff - however it was in fact a secret coded message to a MI5 splinter cell to initiate activities in Nuuk, Greenland.
Next: The Cod war. |
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the Cod war was started by the Codfather....a man of many parts...most of them fishy......
next: the Samaritans |
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When applying for a job with the samaritans it is better not to mention on the application form that you are a subscriber to the 'Go on i dare you' school of counseling.
Next: Superstars Champion - Brian Jacks |
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The samaritans are the only Charity name to be checked in the Bible.
Next - Sir Bobby Robson |
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Superstars Champion Brian Jacks is not affiliated in the slightest to Jacks Champion Brian Superstars, even though they did go to the same school. They never crossed socially as while Superstars spent his spare time on the playground, Jacks was throwing his classmates around indoors in easily-dirtied dressing gowns.
Next: Forum death |
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In Roman times before busking became popular, 'forum death' was a popular activity in ancient shopping malls. Seemingly innocent gangs would suddenly converge on unsuspecting shoppers armed with daggers and passers by would throw in coins if they approved of the theatrics of the victim.
Next: Chitty Chitty Bang Bang |
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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was originally intended to be a Bond film entitled Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, as was suggested in the film Thunderball. Fleming was intending to take the Bond series in a new, more car-focused direction, but when Sally Ann Howes refused to play a character called Truly Perverted he decided to move in a new direction.
Next: Benny Hill |
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Is the father of Harry Hill and Primrose Hill.
At the last count nobody had been up Harry, but Primrose had has plenty of visitors. Next : Post number 800 |
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Post number 800 much to everyone's surprised was in fact between posts 327 and 329. This is post number 328!
Next: Pope Benedict XVI |