We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
Your discussions, insights, engagement, and, most importantly, feedback have helped shape the platform and guided innovation. Your feedback continues to be important to us, and we will continue to listen via our dedicated feedback channels, as well as through product testing and innovations.
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Michael Jackson actually replaced his nose with a Patagonian nose flute in 1995. No one noticed.
Next: Poland |
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Poland is the only European country to have never had a "deposit and return" system in place for its bottles. All used glass cannot by law be reused there and is removed from Poland and used in the manufacture of stained glass windows the world over. Poland is responsible for 94% of the world's exports in green and brown stained glass.
Next: Giles Gilbert Scott |
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Giles, Gilbert and Scott are all names that would get their owner beaten up in 97% of comprehensive schools.
Next: Grammar schools. |
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The sorts of school your grammar would have attended. Depending on her age though, it's likely she would have left at 14 to go into service, or possibly join the land army.
Next: Deputy heads. |
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Deputy Heads was the understudy to Sheriff Duck in Dodge City. Duck failed to live up to his name, and it was Heads up... And he didn't last long as a result.
Next: Blind man's Buff |
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Blind Man's Buff is a game that catches the attention of no-one over the age of 18, it seems.
Next: Inspector Wexford |
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Inspector Wexford. A man so proficient at his job that he could have spotted a donkeys @rse through three layers of blindfold. By virtue of the standards set by Wexford, Shoestring was said to have wept at the lack of purpose in his career.
next: accountants |
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Chancers with calculators
Next: Texas Instruments |
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Texas Instruments are bigger than any other instruments. This makes them imposiible to play, but that doesn't matter because they're bigger than any other instruments.
Next: "Show mje" |
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"Show MJE"
Was the code name for the invasion of the Isle of Man during the Second World War, led by Commander Montague Jeremiah Elvislives. It was abandoned at an early stage when somebody accidentally spilt blue ink on the map, blotting the island out completely. It was then noted that they are actually still a bailiwick within the UK. The map is still used today for tax purposes and this is why the Isle of Man is not liable for British taxes. The Inland Revenue do not believe in its existence, despite having holiday homes there. Next: Cosmonauts |
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The Russians are not allowed to call their astronauts "astronauts", as NASA trademarked the word in the early 1950s. Therefore they are forced to call them "cosmonauts", which ironically is Russian for "We were there first, so stick your command module where the sun doesn't shine, Yankee pig-fanciers".
Next: pig-fanciers. |
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The number of people backing Jade Goody to win Big Brother was greater than the entire population of The Virgin Isles.
Next: The New Statesman |
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I have something on the sole of my shoe that I need to get off with a hosepipe and a matchstick. Not an amazing fact, but apposite.
Next: "The Art of the Possible" |
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A bumble bee can fly despite scientists stating that due to its size and wingspan the laws of aerodynamics say it cannot. However, an elephant cannot hang from a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy.
The fable of ' Elephants never forget' or as Agatha Christie wrote ' Elephants can remember' is proved futile by the size of the pile of dead elephants under Beachy Head cliffs. As an aside :-The lion also devoured Androcles, but that wouldn't sell newspapers. The art of the possible is to be able to post simultaneously with three accounts and not get caught out, bu tit doesn't happen often. Harry Cripps Next : The love life of Right Wing Councillors |
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...is related to their standing and success in the political arena.
Prospective candidates and those elected on the slimmest of margins play out "Dom" roles incorperating an element of grandiose fantasy. This is usually characterised by the wearing of uniforms, and the attempted subjugation of their partners - who are most likely to be asked to wear costumes depicting a different "ethnic" identity. Military marches often accompany love-making - those who can afford it might actually bring in a real band for the occasion. **erotic thinking is common, and tends to present in tandem with premature-or-non ejaculation. The object of the **sexual component of the fantasy is often blamed for the subject's own shortcomings, and will tend to be: a) "polarised" from the subject - e.g. if the subject lives in the South-East, the fantasy object will be from the North-West and b) "unreachable" - e.g. the fantasy object might well be a character encountered in cyberspace. Conversely; those who have achieved a degree of political success and social standing tend towards submissiveness in the bedroom. Many of the same components are present - uncontrollable **erotic fantasy incorperating blame and rage towards a polarised fantasy character & the presence of a military brass band,for example. The main difference is that the subject will tend to dress in baby or child's attire. He will still request that his partner adopts a different ethnic identity - but this time it is because he wishes to be humiliated by the "Illegal" (in his mind) character. Scatalogical activity is often present in these cases. Case studies suggest there is often no "middle-ground" between these extremes, although some progress has been reported for those subjects who choose to leave politics altogether and enter extensive Cognotive Behavioural Therapy. Next: Cyber-characters. |
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pmsl Stevie.
The scarey thing is, I suspect you're not that far off. |
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The first cyber 'character' was Alf 'Corky' Common, who in the third email ever sent via the ARPANET, spelt out 'boobies' using binary code.
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Cheers - was I right about you though?
Next? |
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After last week, do you have to ask?
Next: Boobies |
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Robert Peel led to Bobbies, a new uniform led to new hats, these looked like t!ts, hence boobies.
Next :- Mobile phone ring tones and their part in destroying society. |
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The blue-footed booby is an endangered species of sea bird indigenous to South America. Its endangered status is due not to predators or the destruction of its natural habitat, but to the extremely high suicide rate among young boobies when they discover the name their species has been saddled with. The birds themselves prefer to be known as "Ki'qhaar", or "Cliff-masters with legs of purest sapphire".
Next: Ecuador. |
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Bother.
As you were. |
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In 1981, scientists found that the three most stressful things were:
1) Getting married 2) Starting a new job 3) Moving house Their research, repeated in 2005, discovered that the most stressful things are now: 1) Someone using a mobile phone in the QUIET zone of a train. 2) Being unable to find your glasses. 3) Betfair scheduled downtime. |
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Next: Trains
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The Stockton and Darlington Railway opened on 27 September 1825. The first journey was made by George Stephenson himself in his engine, the Locomotion.
The journey was just under 9 miles and took two hours, due to "Passenger action outside Durham station". Also, within 12 minutes the buffet was entirely out of any sandwich other than prawn mayonnaise. Next: prawns. |
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Prawns become a lot more useful if you can get them all the way to the end of the broard. Watch out for people making up suspiciously french-sounding rules which enable them to 'take' one of your prawns without moving a piece.
Next: Castles |
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Castles can only move forwards, backwards or sideways, except for Swamp Castle, which of course can also fall over, burn down and then sink into the swamp.
Next: Michael Palin. |
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Michael Palin's brother, Geoff has never left his hometown of Swindon. Ironically he is considered far better company than his better-known brother, despite his lack of amusing travel-related anecdotes.
Next topic - Ozzy Osbourne |
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Rock singer Ozzy Osbourne never did bite the head off a bat. He simply went to bed in his hat, and it was reported wrongly.
Next: Tattoo's |
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Most famous is the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, where all the soldiers who have won medals in the last year are stabbed with small needles in front of an enthusiastic crowd.
Next: Crowd Trouble |
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Despite rioting occurring at most MK Dons "home" games, police refuse to refer to it "crowd trouble". Inspector Albert Knacker of Scotland Yard told reporters: "176 people, 12 dogs and a hot-dog stand is hardly a crowd, is it?" before laughing into his mug of tea.
Next: MK Dons |
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For many fans, things will never be the same until the team returns to the dog track.
Next: Hares running. |
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Hares running was the weak point that let Clayton Blackmore to win in Superstars 1985 - for sportsmen who share names with members of the Farlow clan in Dallas. Dusty Hare had been leading by several points but ran 'like a girl' and finished a poor last.
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Next : Why does Sparky forget to name the next subject more than anybody else.
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Beer.
Next: curry. |
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sib is correct.
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LOL
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Most people would not normally touch the foul-smelling, dung-resembling, bacteria-carrying offering until they've had at least ten pints. In John Major's case it was eight.
Next: Peas |
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what do you call a woman cooking potatos ,washing pots ironing cleaning and giving oral sex at the same time?
a swiss army wife :-) |
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Peas were once used as ammuniton in cannon in the middle ages. Hence the expression :- Shell the enemy. Alright it was weak but it's been a long day.
Next : Mortar boards |