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Amazing Fact Chain Letter
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The number 4000 in roman numerals sounds like me looking at a large steak.
Next: large stakes |
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Where's Mr Winkle's post no. 4001 gone?
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Just needed a nudge obviously
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As a tribute to long forgotten duo's, each race at next Wednesday's evening meeting at Pontefract will be named after some forgotten heroes:
6.45 The Millican and Nesbitt Apprentice Handicap. 6f 7.15 The Robson and Jerome Claiming Handicap. 1m 100yds 7.45 The Renee and Renata Maiden Fillies Stakes. 7f 8.15 The Little and Large Stakes (For the 'How did they ever get away with it' Gold Trophy)1m 4f 8.45 The Jewel and Warris Remember them! Selling stakes. 5f 9.15 The Abbott and Costello Marathon 2m 5f Next: Three stooges. |
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**** INTERMISSION ****
I have been bored between races for almost a week due to small fields and started to list all the contributors to this fine thread. I have no finished, and there are some comedy gems on here. Some people never posted apart from a 'ttt' that save it being lost foreverm but everybosy is listed. So, given that quite a few have posted under different names, when did you arrive here 2005 March alias alun2005 always the optimist assessor aziraphale baggers bean the barrister bert bot budiox catdeeleyisgorgeous clarkson e-layer englandaway foggy foinavon icrl igotstung inside edge isle of tights ken masters kirboro lady penelope luddite luff madsimon mamut mini me nebs odds on loser ootr orioles poppydog pygmy shrewd ricesearch robdylan russ8s s-dog selkirk sheikh sibaroni slice sparkmaster. stevie strikes the don the evil one the glimmer man the oily broker tommycockles zorba April adonis allhigh'smate aygirly billkiller cacoethes scribendi jimw jkhjkjkbmnbmn lauraX markymark mr mensa oggsbog petraco pth robmacg1 rod tidwell studly sundancekid theinsuranceman wee mac May always happy am I too late basil brush just believe khightbridge mcnab poker q singo June am I too early basil333 beetle colosseum II gogoidle janiceland owner sarky thomas 2 tommy toes wrongun jnr zilzal1 July bodil george the fish getters griff happy days honest guy jakarta usm khyron kq oddjobbobajob roach sponger statman the hawkeye August banquos ghost Ihatebots manatee samosi screaming from beneaththewaves the golden vision tourist vubiant September curious-cat dodger james blake's huge arse oshun fynanse secondfavourite studyform October andy cap lord flash sabrehillcouldvebeenastar steve punt November dobbbin shaky Nothing then until March 2006 ...coming soon. |
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2006
May bmj derek randall mort e vicker nil-nil premed pumpkinslayer straw dog tgosar will bailey June dalliance long&short milburn petethepanda uberalles August[/color] all sports edhall67 goring moscowjohnny nirvana paranoidandroid piggeh pk'snuts willisblag1 xelawhere [color=red]September carvoeiro lippy October crediter November 1% angoose elvistheking mistermind non shy sica dan worst postman ever zaubi [color=red]December[/color] chance paulm555 punterfleecer sir albert kidd more soon... |
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fack it
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2007
January cobblaz Cranedo dcfc fan el duderino fubar polo minx spudgun tam's loup he albatross wilf yeah I know February avocado and cream cheese dudewheresmyvar March darren lamb my way de solzen tex axile theracegoer April al catraz May careful now!!! champion tipster pumphol. shab June bf scavengerI July alert therankingmissp yer man August jernau gurgeh September big issue newoldboy December most underated gambler more later... |
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What an excellent idea for a thread!
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Yes, it is an excellent thread.
In a perverse sort of way it's probably the only thread in the entire forum which actually makes any sense! |
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2008
January andstartagainatyourbeginnings babydoll boxingthefox collywobble jras kingell njc stoddy travelling man xxlandofsmilesxx February March 2008 boggle frasier lmfao pokermonster simonsayz spiderman: April tevez is god unionjack June bodger guessworker neuro July judge chief man of many moods nestor happy birthday btw the dragon August [x] These checkboxes suck checkAA townmoor September mavis "hacksaw" handbag October aspro November dynamicalsystem December faceman we get the gammo on the diesel |
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Back to the real thing from Mr Collywobblerman on 20 May:
As a tribute to long forgotten duo's, each race at next Wednesday's evening meeting at Pontefract will be named after some forgotten heroes: 6.45 The Millican and Nesbitt Apprentice Handicap. 6f 7.15 The Robson and Jerome Claiming Handicap. 1m 100yds 7.45 The Renee and Renata Maiden Fillies Stakes. 7f 8.15 The Little and Large Stakes (For the 'How did they ever get away with it' Gold Trophy)1m 4f 8.45 The Jewel and Warris Remember them! Selling stakes. 5f 9.15 The Abbott and Costello Marathon 2m 5f Next: Three stooges. |
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2009
June tiptheodds jockay. July steeplechasing bet mentor shirl the girl xbigkendox muntz street August mansfieldtoon far from trouble September big charlie November cooperman jugador mejor facts statman99 |
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2010
February veck May starfish and coffee its 8:15 arch stanton Capataz de Cargadores over the last crags June cricketer clivey boy July johnny wad August uti |
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2011
March majorupshotbagley May mr winkle Tolstoy |
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259 in total
1% [x] These checkboxes suck adonis al Catraz alert alias all sports allhigh'smate alun2005 always happy always the optimist am I too early am I too late andstartagainatyourbeginnings andy cap angoose arch stanton aspro assessor avocado and cream cheese aygirly aziraphale babydoll baggers banquos ghost basil brush basil333 bean the barrister beetle bert bet mentor bf_scavengerI big charlie big issue billkiller bmj bodger bodil boggle bot boxingthefox budiox bushy cacoethes scribendi cannyman Capataz de Cargadores capo-tc careful now!!! carvoeiro catdeeleyisgorgeous champion tipster chance checkAA_ clarkson clivey boy cobblaz collywobble colosseum II cooperman crags cranedo crediter cricketer curious-cat dalliance Darren Lamb dcfc fan derek randall dobbbin dodger dudewheresmyvar dynamicalsystem edhall67 el duderino e-layer elvistheking englandaway faceman facts far from trouble flantastic foggy foinavon frasier fubar george the fish getters getting better gogoidle goring griff guessworker happy days honest guy icrl igotstung Ihatebots inside edge isle of tights its 8:15 jakarta usm james blake's huge arse janiceland jernau gurgeh jimw jkhjkjkbmnbmn jockay. johnny wad jpmcenroe81 jras judge chief jugador mejor just believe ken masters khightbridge khyron kingell kirboro kq lady penelope lauraX lippy lmfao long&short look - it's snowing lord flash luddite luff madsimon majorupshotbagley mamut man of many moods manatee mansfieldtoon markymark mavis "hacksaw" handbag mcnab milburn mini me mistermind mort e vicker moscowjohnny most underated gambler mr mensa muntz street my way de solzen nebs nestor neuro newoldboy nil-nil nirvana njc non shy oddjobbobajob odds on loser oggsbog ootr orioles oshun fynanse over the last owner paranoidandroid paulm555 petethepanda petraco piggeh pk'snuts poker q pokermonster polo minx poppydog premed pth pumphol. pumpkinslayer punterfleecer pygmy shrewd ricesearch roach robdylan robmacg1 rod tidwell russ8s sabrehillcouldvebeenastar samosi sarky screaming from beneaththewaves s-dog secondfavourite selkirk shab shaky sheikh shirl the girl sibaroni sica dan simonsayz singo sir albert kidd slice sparkmaster. spiderman: sponger spudgun starfish and coffee statman statman99 steeplechasing steve punt stevie strikes stoddy straw dog studly studyform sundancekid tam's loup tevez is god tex axile tgosar the albatross the don the dragon the evil one the glimmer man the golden vision the hawkeye the oily broker theinsuranceman theracegoer therankingmissp thomas 2 tiptheodds Tolstoy tommy toes tommycockles tourist townmoor travelling man uberalles unionjack uti veck vubiant we get the gammo on the diesel wee mac wilf will bailey willisblag1 worst postman ever wrongun jnr xbigkendox xelawhere xxlandofsmilesxx yeah I know yer man zaubi zilzal1 zorba carry on... |
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It was rumoured recently that three stooges were found in Eddie Izzard's wardrobe at the Lyric Theatre, but it's unclear exactly what the story is about.
Because as well as being the word used to describe a straight man in a comedy routine, 'stooge' has recently started being used as a slang word for dried nasal mucus. Next: Colonel Bogey |
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The 'Colonel Bogey' march was written by somebody called Ricketts, or somebody who had ricketts, I'm not too sure. Anyway, it's mostly remembered here with the added lyrics of: 'Hitler has only got one ball' etc.
There are bi-annual searches of the Albert Hall but so far no further balls have ever been found. In 1976 it was rumoured that a ball had indeed been found, but it turned out to be an almost deflated red balloon from the previous evening's 'Last Night of the Proms' Next: Henry would |
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Blimey Mr W you've put some work in there, well done!
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He certainly has. Great work mr winkle. I'm sure Henry would have got round to doing it eventually but you know what he's like.
. http://tinyurl.com/3ch64he Next: Sooty and Sweep |
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Sooty and Sweep were puppets who were operated by Harry H. Corbett and his son, Wilfred Bramble. They famously did not get on. Nor did they get on famously. Sooty’s catchphrase was “Izzy wizzy, let’s get busy you disgusting dirty old man”. Sweep later went dogging and appeared before Horseferry Road Magistrates. Eventually they were deemed too unsuitable for British television and were sent to Australia instead, like Tony Hancock before them.
Next: The lad himself |
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Tony Hancock is the only person I know whose name we mimicked by pointing at 4 different body parts at junior school.
Next: Blood transfusions |
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to corrrect his by-pass arthur ashe was given a blood transfusion
that was infected with hiv virus that ultimately led to his death..... next: Topo Gigio |
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Now Football news:
In a desperate effort to remain competeive in the Championship this year, with the likes of Leicester spending zillions on their squad, Doncaster Rovers have made thier first ever signing from Italy. They have paid Italian 4th Division side Parma Ham United 57 euros and two tickets to the second day of the Leger meeting for Topo Gigio. Manager Sean O'Dismal says Topo's extra two legs and his ability to scamper through the legs of opposing players will give his team an edge.The deal comes with no strings attached. Next: The Bottom Three |
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The Bottom Three was a musical trio of professional flatulists from Bognor who delighted music hall audiences at the turn of the century. Inspired by French entertainer, Le Pétomane, The Bottom Three specialised in performing quite intricate musical works.
The highlight of their career was the occasion when they farted Beethoven's 9th Symphony at the Albert Hall in front of an esteemed audience which included Queen Victoria, who astonished everyone by joining in with the chorus. Next: It's a gas gas gas |
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slipped to page 4 already
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The most hilarious joke ever in Roy Clarke's 'Open all hours' was when Granville was trying to find the switch to turn on the electric cooker. He got more and more hot and bothered as he struggled to find it and knocked over a few pans for extra comedy effect.
Eventually he went and asked Arkwight where it was, who replied: 'It's a ga ga gas gas gas oven Ger Ger Granville.' Cue hilarious canned laughter. Clarke was also responsible for 'Last of the Summer Wine' which holds the reord of 84 consecutive episodes without anything remotely amusing happening in any of them. Next: My Family |
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I never found Open all Hours at all funny colly. One of their rare failures imo.
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Jason and Barker that is.
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This must be the oldest thread surviving? Even Bert's on here.
Like meeting old friends who are no longer with us if you scroll through the thread. |
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The most hilarious joke ever in Fred Barron’s 'My Family' was when *BBC ubiquitous stereotype middle-aged dad, run rings around my smarter wife and smart-arse kids* was trying to find the switch to turn on the electric cooker. He got more and more hot and bothered as he struggled to find it and knocked over a few pans for extra comedy effect.
Eventually he went and asked *BBC ubiquitous stereotype smarter wife and smart-arse kids* where it was, who replied: 'It's there' (pointing at the switch) Cue hilarious canned laughter. Barron was also responsible for 'Auschwitz' which holds the reord of 84 consecutive days without anything remotely amusing happening in any of them (though it was marginally funnier than being at the filming of My Family). Next: Copyist Reported! |
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Due to the revelations in the last week that David Attenborough's nature films may not all be as true to their real domains as they should be, people from all over the world have been 'phoning the BBC to report his documentary teams' 'shenanigans'.
One complaint came from a dyslexic East Anglian farmer, one Mr P. I. Gignorant, who remembered that back in 1929 Coypu were introduced to the surrounding areas for their fur production. He was enraged, because he knew the animals' penchant for destruction might have a severe effect on his drains. David Attenborough was in full agreement with the Coypus' introduction and told the farmer he was nought but a wuss and could always hose himself down with a hot water bottle, if the worst came to the worst. The farmer was correct in his assumption of his drains being blitzed beyond compare by the marauding South American 'rats' and thus hadn't had a bath for 60 years until the Coypu were eradicated in 1989. The same year, David started to film a documentary about the loss of the animals to the local Fens. Mr Gignorant recalled that when the documentary maker strolled across his land that day he'd set about Attenborough with a large loofah, a rubber duck and a bar of soap which the farmer had been unable to use for 60 years - shouting at him: "Copyist. Deported!" Sir David has never been seen east of Devon with or without a dictionary - or a porn mag - ever since. Next: Misunderstandings |
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'Misunderstandings'
This was one of the last headlines in the now defunct 'News of the World' Under the headline there was a phote of Police Commisioner Sir Albert Standings DSO, aged 56, naked except for his helmet (ooerr). He was bestride Miss Candy Noniquers, an 'escort,' and was about to do something unmentionable with his truncheon. Next: Nothing to see here. |
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"Nothing to see here" is one of those common expressions which has become bastardised from the original.
To wit, "nothing to see, hear or say", a lyric from that well-known George Formby song, Wunga Bunga & Boo (which are of course the names of the Three Wise Monkeys). Next: Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar |
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(If memory serves moody, this has been a topic before and I came up with some football related dross, anyway Happy New Year! and I'll give it another go.)
Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar are the new 'Three Tenors' sensation. Formed after a chance meeting at the Leyton v Accrington game last Boxing Day, the release of their new album. 'We three Tenors of the Orient are' has raced to the top of the charts. 'We're just cashing in on the gullible public's current craze for anything sung in a strangulated deep voice by people with silly names. I mean Alfie Boe for Christs sake.' Next: What's it all about Alfie? |
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The song, What’s it all about Alfie? is from the film Alfie. The film starred Alfie Bass, but it also starred Michael Caine as the character Alfie, to which the film’s title actually refers.
To avoid easy confusion, a song was written to clarify things and it was meant to be titled thus: What’s it all about - Alfie Bass? No! ‘Alfie’ - as played by Michael Caine. It was cut to plain Alfie for cinematic and musical release, for some absurd reason or other. Next: Long-Haired Lover From Liverpool |
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This is George Formby again isn't it?
If memory serves me correctly Formby wrote Long Haired Lover From Liverpool in 1961. If only we could have heard him singing this song and playing it on his little banjo-ukele, what a joy that would have been. Unfortunately he died before he got round to recording it. Next: Osmosis |
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Happy to see this thread still going after all of this time :)
Osmosis is a common historical figure in Australian Aboriginal culture and thought to be one of the very first foreign settlers Down Under. A mythical figure, he came from 'the west' causing huge excitement to the natives by walking through the Pacific Ocean supposedly after having tried out this revolutionary method in the Red Sea. More famously, 'Osmosis' or 'Aus Moses' is also credited with the invention of Vegemite. next: Men at Work |
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Good to see you back Rod!
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Thank you Tommy..long time no speak
. I still look in from time to time but work prevents me from quiz attendances these days and what time I do have seems to be spent on horse racing forum with beloved Cheltenham approaching |