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Amazing Fact Chain Letter
Amazing Fact Chain Letter
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Thunder and lightning
Can be quite frightening Now the weather’s brightening The net is tightening . . . was a poem written by A.A. Milne which went straight in the bin because it was crap. Next: Poet laureate |
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The Poet laureate pub in Dorchester is the only pub associated with the current UK monarchy. It was opened in 2002 by Prince Charles, who even poured the first pint.
Next: Stella Artois |
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Stella Arto is the only barmaid associated with the current UK monarchy. It was all hushed up.
Next: The perfect pint of ****ss |
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In Germany from 1936-45, the SS were so powerful that they even had their own petrol pumps at gas stations.
Whilst 4-Star SS was very good petrol, due to allied the bombing of Ploesti Oilfield it was rationed to a pint at a time, perfect though it was. Next: BP |
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Scouting For Boys by B-P is the 4th best-selling book of the 20th century, having sold over 150 million copies.
Here is a picture of the cover with a fully equipped scout inspecting a lump of white dog poo. http://tinyurl.com/34szghc Next: Tiny URL |
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ttt for the next amazing fact contributor
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People will be aware of the phrase, "Other nations have their history; Uruguay has its football."
Football was introduced to Uruguay in the late 19th century. There was, over the next few years, a struggle for supremacy between soccer and rugby. One group of people, however, felt left out; these were Uruguayans of restricted growth, who had good ball handing skills. Their lack of height made rugby unsuitable for them. Their ball-handling skills made rugby the ideal game for them. So they formed their own sporting body, which was called The Tiny Uruguayans Rugby League, or Tiny URL for short. Next: Uruguay |
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Due to his failure to win yet another Grand Slam, Andy Murray has handed in his Paraguayan passport and is now a citizen of Urugauy.
Next: Grandstand |
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Following the demise of Great Leighs racecourse, the grandstand has been purchased by the landlord of the Horsebox Inn for 10/6d.
Being a virtual pub with the time and relative dimension in space of a tardis, he foresees no problems with installing the newly acquired grandstand in a corner of the hostelry from where regulars will be able to watch all their favourite sporting events on a giant screen. It will also be used to show the live music performance of the day, and anything else of interest, such as a meltdown on one of the forum threads, live, in-running. Said one enthusiastic regular, "He's gone totally bing bong". Next: Half a guinea |
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Half a guinea
Half a guinea Half a guinea onward All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. So if anyone asks how much the Charge of the Light Brigade was, you can tell them: ‘Half a guinea’. Next: Poet's Day |
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Poet's Day is not just an acronym. Not any more anyway. Poets all over the world have long been campaigning to have a special day of the year set aside in their honour.
As luck would have it, the findings of a study conducted by students at Keele University over the last 3 years have just been published, at a cost of £5.2 million. Students were curious to know why poets always seemed to produce their best work when inebriated - a well known fact. A great deal of laboratory experimentation was undertaken to determine how much alcoholic intake was needed to optimise a poet's performance, and also to find the exact point at which his output began to deteriorate. The experiments involved many wannabe-poet, student volunteers from the university, guzzling wine from dawn 'til dawn - pretty much every single one of them to be honest, hence the enormous cost of the study, As a result of the findings, International Poet's Day has now been designated as the third Thursday in November - to coincide with Beaujolais Nouveau Day. Next: put a cork in it |
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Put a cork in it was the punchline from a WW2 poster about giving secrets away to any nazi generals that might be sitting on the seats behind you when riding on the bus. Due to an error at the printers it came out all wrong. The full phrase was supposed to be:
Be like dad, keep mum, chum - you never know who is listening from the continent, put a cork in it. Sadly it came out as: Never be like incontinent dad’s chum, mum - put a cork in it. Next: Remember to flush |
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Former tennis ace Boris 'Tracy' Beaker is forging a career as a professional poker player. Unfortunatley his early form on the poker tables didn't match his prowess with a raquet, and he lost £1m dollars. To improve his chances he has paid poker ace Dave 'Silverfish' Elliott £50,000 for some insider knowldge. Dave passes him an envolope with the following gems to ennable Boris to win a golden necklace:
1. Two cards what are the same are a pair. 2. Three cards what are the same are three the same or 'outings' as we pro's call em. 3. Five cards what are the same colour is a flush. 4. Remember to flush what you need is five cards, same colour. Armed with these nuggets our Boris is now well on the way to poker stardom. Next: Happy Families. |
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lol - sy wrong smiley
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you're the only one to post, other than me, in the last half hour momm.
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Sorry, I fell asleep just after that.
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Popped on as I fancied doing a truly amazing fact only to see MoMM, boggle et al are no good slackers, get to it you looooosers!
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It's a little known fact that following the worldwide success of their only movie, Snow White and the seven dwarfs retired to a remote, uninhabited South Pacific island in 1940.
There wasn't much to do there so they spent all their time shagging. Snow White had a total of 21 children over as many years, thanks to the randy little dwarfs. Much enthusiastic interbreeding and three generations later, the island now has a population well in excess of 3,000, over half of which have been sired by the exceptionally productive Happy. In fact, the Happy families now dominate the island to such an extent that President Papa Doc has ordered the compulsory castration of all Happy males over the age of 25. That should wipe the smiles of their faces! Next: Grumpy Old Men |
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. . . smiles OFF their faces ffs! X-(
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Due to the diabolical mistake by Betfair to change their forum on the infamous day of May 6th 2010, the increase in grumpy old men has reached staggering proportions world wide.
Many have left the Betfair forum altogether, and the ones who remain are now so disillusioned on the topics they can actually see; contribute to; or respond to - in the correct order - it's become a free for all for grumpy old topics to be the order of the day too. Next: Gas Meters |
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Gas Meters is an anagram of Great Mess.
Coincidence? Next: The metric system |
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The most successful racing system ever invented was by Jean Metric, a Frenchman, who ended up in Catterick Garrison one day in 1957, in the mistaken belief that the Foreign Legion were based there.
Realising his mistake he went to Catterick races, which by chance were on that day, and naturally caught the gambling bug. For several years he struggled to make a profit until one day, quite by chance he hit on his winning system. It involved making up a random set of rules which he backfilled to show amazing profits. He then dubbed it 'The Metric System' sent out a load of glossy brochures and put an advert in The Sporting Chronicle. The orders flooded in, Jean was rich beyond his wildest dreams and he scarpered off to the Cote D'Azure as fast as his little French legs could carry him. Next: Blood and Sand |
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"Blood and Sand!" was the remark Sparky made on hearing that someone was trying to usurp his much loved and highly respected 'Amazing Fact Chain Letter' on the Chit Chat forum.
"How dare they? It's the longest one on here!" he said - and we can only surmise that he was referring to the initial date the thread was created, even though he was just coming out of the bath at the time. Next: Respecting old treasures |
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Newbies who come to the good old chit chat forum have to make various promises before being allowed to post, ie no spamming or advertising, no foul or abusive language, you know, that sort of thing.
Due to the length of time that some posters have been contributing to this estimable tool, they now qualify as 'old treasures' so a new rule has been added to the list, ie Respecting Old Treasures. This means that no-one can disagree with or badmouth the likes of sparky, tommy toes and Ken Minjita etc, and a good thing too in my opinion. Oops I forgot is SDK still around? Next: Three smily faces and some apostraphies. |
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'Three smily faces and some apostraphies' can only mean one thing: It's CHRIST MASS!
Next: Slayed |
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Slayed
Slade Sleighed Take your pick they're all what happens to Santa once a year. Unless you're in prison with Norman Stanley Fletcher. Next: Bunny Warren |
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Bunny Warren is the name given by the locals to Mr Winkle's garden as many hoppitys can be seen having the time of their lives in his extensive 'super shed' which houses a multitude of rabbits. However, one well known bunny once escaped, clad in a gas mask, to escape the mother-in-law's MASSIVE fa g fumes when she was out in the garden (after being banished from the house; code name by the locals: Heffner One) one day.
He was heard to be crying "I'm a celebrabbity, get me out of here!" as he high-hopped down the road. Next: Bugs |
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Every year on November 30th, a group of around 100 Bajans gathers on Brighton Beach, just north of Bridgetown, to take part in the Independence Day celebrations in a somewhat unusual fashion. They all stand facing out to sea and at precisely 11am a cannon is fired signalling the start of the merriment; the participants all then whack a golf ball as far out to sea as possible. There follows a mad dash into the water as competitors swim out and dive to find their balls. Once found, they then have to hit the ball underwater back to the shore, finally putting it into a regulation-sized hole in the sand.
Because of the difficulty of locating their balls and hitting them underwater without the aid of any breathing aparatus, the contest usually lasts several hours and by the time a winner is declared, most spectators have long since fcked off. Notwithstanding that, the participants have a great time and the winner gets the honour and privelege of wearing the treasured Barbados Underwater Golf Society (B.U.G.S.) baggy trousers for the next year. Next: Mount Gay |
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Mount Gay was the original name of the snooker pro Doug Mountjoy. He was forced to change it when he was arranging to play an exhibition in the Va^leeees and the promoter asked him on the 'phone: "Oy Doug boyo, are you free?"
Next: The pink pound |
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The Pink Pound was a pub co-owned by Lionel Blair and Dave Lee Tavis in Bootle in the late 1970s. Each room was in the shape of a different part of the human body, with live music in the heart, comedy every other night in the genitals, and quiz night in the kidneys every other Thursday.
Next: The Bone Collector |
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The March 1953 edition of The Bone Collector, the leading osteoarchaeology magazine of day, was accused of being dumbed down following the father of the future Sun editor Kelvin McKenzie taking charge. Complaints were received after an article that appeared on the front page about a skeleton claimed by its discoverer, Charles Dawson, to be the missing link. Unfortunately the bones turned out to be only 75 years old. The offending headline read:
Piltdown Man - Dawson Coccyx Up! Next: Dr Alice Roberts |