North American
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HELLO AMERICA
HELLO AMERICA
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ITS NO GOOD CLIMBING EVEREST OR GOING TO THE MOON ,TO PROOVE YOUR NOT SCARED OF SPIDERS ,AND PRETEND TO BE A MAN WHEN YOUR SCARED OF CREEPEY CRAWLIES
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I WOULD ONLY GO TO THE MOON WHEN ITS BEEN DEVELOPED AND GOT PROPER TOILETS ,
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IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE TOILETS IN UNDER DEVELOPED PLACES LIKE TUNISA AND GAMBIA
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IM SURE SOME OF THESE FOREIGN PEOPLE WHO COME TO LIVE IN ENGLAND HAVE NEVER SEEN A PROPER TOILET ,AND THEY THINK THERE WATER WELLS
MY FRIEND IS A COUNCIL WORKER AND SAID HJE WAS CALLED TO A COUNCILL HOUSE ,AND THERE WAS A BUCKET WITH A LONG ROPE ATTACHED TO IT ,STUCK IN THE TOILET |
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IM NOT TELLING YOU WHAT WAS IN THE SINK
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 you ok Do wah  |
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YES IM OK THANK YOU ,I WANTED TO GO TO CEASERS PALACE IN LAS VAGAS TO SEE CHER AND BOB DYLAN ,BUT THE AMERICANS KNOCKED IT DOWN AND DESTROYED IT ,I THINK THEY ONLY KNOCKED IT DOWN TO SHOW THEM ITALIANS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM IF THEY STARTED ANY FUNNY BUISNESS
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IVE ALLWAYS WANTED TO GO TO LAS VEGAS AND SEE THE SIGHTS,I WOULD LOVE TO SEE A ROULETTE WHEEL SPIN ROUND
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I BELIEVE LAS VEGAS IS IN A DESSERT ,I MIGHT EVEN HAVE A RIDE ON A CAMEL
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I BELIEVE YOU CAN SEE PEOPLE LIKE CHER AND BARBARA STREISLAND DOING THERE SHOPPING ,I WOULD STOP THEM AND ASK THEM WHERE THE BEST PLACE TO BUY APPLES IS
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I BELIEVE THERES A SHOP IN LAS VEGAS THAT SELLS ELVIS PRESSLEYS HAIR ,I WOULD BUY SOME AND SEND IT TO ELTON JOHN AND SHOW HIM WHAT A PROPER POP SINGERS HAIR LOOKS LIKE
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THEY HAVE A SHOW IN LAS VEGAS WHERE YOU CAN ASK CHER QUESTIONS ,MY FRIEND ALBERT ASKED HER HOW MANY LOVERS SHE HAD HAD OVER THE YEARS ,SHE SAID THE SHOW WAS ONLY FOUR HOURS LONG AND HER MEMORYS NOT AS GOOD AS IT USED TO BE ,SHE SAID THE 4 HOURS WOULD ONLY COVER FROM 2009-2011,IF YOU WANTED TO KNOW THE REST HE WOULD HAVE TO COME BACK TO A DIFFERENT SHOW EACH DAY OF HIS 14 DAY HOLIDAY
ALBERT SAID I BELIEVE YOUVE BEEN WITH DONNY OSMOND ,SHE SAID SHED BEEN WITH MOST OF THE OSMONDS ,WHICH ONE WAS HE |
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SHE SAID THE LITTLE ONE MADE HER LAUGH WHEN HE SANG LONG HAIRED LOVER FROM LIVERPOOL TO HER WHILE THEY WERE IN THE SHOWER TOGETHER
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ALBERT SAID HE WANTED TO SEE DOLLY PARTON ON THE LAST NIGHT OF HIS HOLIDAY ,BUT THE SHOW WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE SHE GOT HER BUST CAUGHT IN THE LIFT DOORS ,I SAID COULDNT SHE SING ,HE SAID I DONT KNOW SHE HAD TO GIVE EVIDENCE TO THE POLICE ABOUT THE MAN FEELING HER BUST ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOORS
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ALBERT SAID HE WAS ASKED TO BE A WITNESS AT A WEDDING THERE ,I SAID DID YOU GET TO KNOW THE COUPLE .HE SAID NO ,BUT THEY MUST BE IMPORTANT AS ELVIS PRESSLEY WAS THERE
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I SAID HES BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS ALBERT ,HE SAID THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT ,BUT IF THE VICAR SAID THATS ELVIS PRESSLEY THEN THATS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME ,IM NOT CALLING A VICAR A FIBBER
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I SAID TO ALBERT DID YOU SEE THE GRAND CANYON WHILE YOU WAS THERE HE SAID NO ,IT MUST NOT HAVE BEEN BUILT WHEN HE WENT
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IF CHARLES DICKENS HAD WROTE THIS ,IT WOULD BE IN THE LIBARY AND THEY WOULD HAVE MADE A FILM ABOUT IT ,ITS A PITY I WASNT ONE OF THE DICKENS FAMILY
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I CANT HELP IT MY FAMILYS NAME IS DIDDY
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IVE BEEN MISSING FOR A WHILE ON HERE AND NO BODY HAS EVEN NOTICED IVE GONE ,I COULD BE DEAD AND BURIED ,AND ALL THEY DO IS PUT ANOTHER BET ON ,
GET LOST YOU LOAD OF UNLOVEING SELFISH DEGENERATES |
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IVE BEEN MISSING FOR A WHILE ON HERE AND NO BODY HAS EVEN NOTICED IVE GONE ,I COULD BE DEAD AND BURIED ,AND ALL THEY DO IS PUT ANOTHER BET ON ,
GET LOST YOU LOAD OF UNLOVEING SELFISH DEGENERATES |
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YOUR NO BETTER THAN THEM IN THE PUB WHO USED TO JUST KEEP DRINKING AND TALKING WHILE I SANG MY HEART OUT ON THE CARRYOKEE
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Do wah....no one on this forum is more loved than you
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THANK YOU SOFEE BUT YOU KNOW IM AN ATTENTION SEEKER ,AND I NEED TO BE REASSURED
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Thread of the year
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DwD uses lower case !!!!!!!!! * 05 Oct 22:04
Nobody else seemed to pick up on this historic forum event .................. I ALWAYS THOUGHT HIS KEYBOARD WAS PERMANINTLY CAPS LOCKED ? |
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HELLO AMERICA ITS ME AGAIN ,I LIKE IT WHEN YOU ALL SING GOD BLESS AMERICA ,YOU COULD SING RHINESTONE COWBOY OR IM DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS BUT YOU CHOOSE TO SING GOD BLESS AMERICA ,AND PRESIDENT RAYGUN WAS THE BEST FILM ACTOR PRESIDENT IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD ,I BET ELIZABETH TAYLOR WOULD HAVE MADE A GOOD DEFENCE SECRETARY AS WELL
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WHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD WOULD A FILM ACTOR HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE PRESIDENT OF A COUNTRY ,
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YOU CAN BE BORN IN A LITTLE SHACK IN THE HILLS ,AND YOU ONLY NEEDBIG BOOBS LIKE DOLLY PARTON TO BE A BIG STAR
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YOUR THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT BASEBALL,IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PLAY A GAME IN YOUR COUNTRY THAT NO OTHER COUNTRY LIKED SO YOU COULD ALLWAYS BE THE BEST
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YOU DID THE SAME WITH AMERICAN FOOTBALL,AND YOU EVEN WEAR HELMETS LIKE MOTOR BIKE RIDERS INCASE YOU FALL ON THE FIELD AND HURT YOUR HEAD
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THE FIRST TIME I SAW AN AMERICAN FOOTBALL GAME I THOUGHT IT WAS AN EPISODE OF DYNASTY WITH THEM BIG SHOULDER PADS ,BUT I SOON REALISED THE PLAYERS WERE MEN WHEN THEY TOOK THEIR HELMETS OFF AND NOT WOMEN
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I WANT TO GO TO THE PENTAGON AND COUNT HOW MANY SIDES THE BUILDING HAS
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IVE ALREADY BEEN TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM OF BIRDS TO SEE IF IT WAS THE EGG OR THE CHICKEN THAT CAME FIRST
I WANT TO TAKE THIS ONE STEP FURTHER BY GOING TO THE KENTUCKY INSTITUTE OF FOOD TO SEE IF IT WAS THE CHIPS OR THE CHICKEN THAT CAME FIRST IN THE KENTUCKY CHICKEN BARGAIN BUCKET |
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HELLO AMERICA ITS ME AGAIN DO WAH DIDDY ,IVE BEEN THINKING AGAIN DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHOS BEEN BITTEN BY A RATTLE SNAKE .DID THEY CRY AND DID THEY LIVE OR DIE IN AGONY
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DID THEY GET BITTEN WHEN THEY WERE PLAYING COWBOYS AND INDIANS IN THE HILLS ,OR AT A RATTLE SNAKE SANCTUARY
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DO YOU GET MANY IN NEW YORK ,AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ONE IN A YELLOW TAXI
IM NOT STUPID I KNOW THEY DONT TRAVEL IN TAXES TO SEE THEIR FRIENDS ,BUT THEY MIGHT CLIMB IN TO GET WARM |
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I ONCE THOUGHT OF GETTING A SNAKE AS A PET WHEN I WAS SMALL ,BUT I ENDED UP WITH A BUDGEE INSTEAD AS YOU CAN LEARN THEM TO TALK AND FLY ON YOUR FINGER ,WHICH YOU CANT DO WIT A SNAKE
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FANCY GOING FOR A WALK ON A NICE DAY TO SEE AN INDIAN RESERVATION AND GETTING BITTEN BY A RATTLE SNAKE .IT WOULD SPOIL YOUR DAY OUT
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