make sure you keep us updated snooze! great story. i have been on the receiving end of the group text trick and dished it out as well....

I'm heading off now tiptop.Its gonna be messy

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

SIR DEREK TROTTER 01 Mar 14:03
i was about 21 and my mate was 16 and it was xmas day.
he came round with about £200 (xmas money)
i took the lot off him at 5 card stud with my marked deck that i got for xmas :^0
he asked for a borrow that night so i said i,ll lend u £50 for £70 back and he did :^0

never told him ;)


that is very harsh

Years ago me and 2 mates where in a fancy club in Copenhagen paying about a tenner equivelent for a bottle of beer at todays prices.

We noticed that after we had gone onto the dance floor and returned to our table our drinks had be nicked or most of the beer had been drunk out the bottles.

We said fcuk this and got another round in which we drank and then went into the toilet and pi$$ed in the bottles and left them on the table and hit the dance floor again.

I still chuckle to this day when i think back to the expression on these Danish guy's faces as the hungrly guzzled our pi$$ down their necks.

when i just turned 18

got hammered at some party, come home to find my sister car keys on side,

took it out (without license, driving around for 30-40mins, on way home, took corner wide, panicked, toppled car! write the fecker off (brand new car) somehow i was absotuley fine

old bill took me to the pig station where they tested my blood for alchol levels

by the end of it, they fecked up and all i got was 5-year police caution

Me and my ex split on bad terms about 3 years ago, totally her fault, and the way she went about things after the split was a disgrace, so to get her back I put a naughty little video of her up on the internet. When I say naughty I mean naughty...going solo full frontal view for 6 and half minutes. Still to this day she's none the wiser!!

Eyes right -

Link please sir.

on conference away from home- Portugal:

my mistress of 2 years - a workmate was there - but i also got p1ssed and
pulled another lass - who also happened to be staying on with a group of us -we had all booked to share a big villa after the conference for 3 days - and my wife was joining us



First day in the Villa - s crewed the mistress - dashed out to the pool without washing and was waylaid in the corridoor by the new girl - 10 minutes later and we finished just in time when the wife arrived - and we got in the room she immediately wanted it - i was knackered so she got down on me to get things working- all fine- but afterwards she said i tasted 'funny'

no time to wash, you see....

those 3 days got a little interesting - but somehow i got away without it all

Seeing as we are now seated and confortable, let's turn up the heat.

I stole £2000 from 4 L*dbrokes shops in 1996. I had a deposit account and sussed out the procedure for depositing. I would come in and deposit cash. The manager or assistant would phone the deposit centre and give the RAD (which I deduced was the shop location) and the shop number (4 digit code). I got one of my friends to call up and say there was a customer wishing to deposit into her account. He gave the RAD and the shop number and advised £500 was being deposited. The person on the phone gave a reference and the money was credited.

Did this 4 times over 2 weeks and gambled the 2k on horses. Lost it all but 2k worth of free bets.

Can't be done now due to changes in procedures but what a thrill.

I did exacly the same but with Billys,sorry i didnt do it for more though.

i grew up in Huyton and other areas of Liverpool so have inevitably been involved with the wrong crowd at times and done some things that I'm certainly not proud of

however, i would never stoop so low as to nail one of my mates birds! lowest of the low imo.

I once realised that the bookies i went in didnt include the handicap on the results page for the NFL,so i used to do a £30 4 timer on the shortest price favourites but put the 10/11 hanicap price on the slip.On the Monday i would go in and give them my slip saying can you check this to see if ive won as i dont have ceefax,they would get the scores up and tick off the winners,for instance San Francisco 30 New York Jets 20,but on the handicap New York where +13.5.Worked for weeks until a different manager started and knew the score,good while it lasted though and the girls didnt get into any trouble.

Some shameful stories here. A intresting tread never the less. theft,conning,birds mate, and reporting your old dad for nothing.should be ashamed of yourself. hey ho

also 'forgetting' my PE kit so me and a mate could lace classmates waterbottles with laxatives while they were charging around a sports hall was quite low looking back :D

especially when 3 of them didn't turn up for school for the rest of the week

still waiting on the link Kop?????

yep Perry still waiting for it mate!

adrenaline and seethe at their unreasonableness just took over after i got the phone back, i had given them a fag ffs when im quite skint as it is.

someone middle aged woman saw us as well and ran off she probs thought i was raping him

One Thursday me and a few mates had been drinking in my local nightclub till 2am Friday morning and taking what ever other illegal substances we could get our hands on. Wanting to carry on the party we ended up convincing one of the lads to let us go back to his. Getting back to his gaff 1st were me and a couple of other lads so we let ourselves but started**ing about in the frontroom.

One thing led to another we started play fighting and shoving each other. One of the lads had ridden back on his scooter so was stood in the front room with his helmet still on when someone went to push him. Over he went backwards into sort of like a rocking chair which aided his momentum backwards and he crashed into glass fronted cabinet which was at the back of the chair. Smashed the **er to smithereens. Glass and ornaments everywhere.

Anyway as we were**ed we decided to cover it up to make it look like there'd been a burgarly whilst he'd been out!. We went outside and got the biggest stone from the front wall and through it through his glass panelled back door. Glass everywhere, door dented where the stone had slammed into the top panel. Looked a bloody mess.

Then our mate turns up and we see his face. It dawns on us what bloody prats we had been and fessed up. To say he took it badly was an understatement and we made our excuses and left.

On the Monday evening I gets a phonecall from him and he's in a foul mood. Apparently he'd cleaned the house up and boarded the back door up with plywood as he couldn't afford to the galss replaced. Whilst he was at work that day someone as obviously seen his poor effort at securing the place and the robbed the place blind. All his gear had been nicked and they had shat all over his bedroom.

Suffice to say he never spoke to us again.

:^0

I was working in a hotel bar about 20 years ago and this drunk guest was really obnoxious and annoying me. He was legless and asked me for a" wee vodka" - so I obliged. I poured the vodka and pretended to get ice from the machine in the back of the bar - but urinated in his glass instead. He mixed it with coke and was none the wiser. How I kept a straight face I'll never know.