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the good old times patty
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Shame on you Rowdee, but a big LOL.
Doing up up the Council Gritter just makes it so much more funny. |
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The Betfairy 01 Mar 13:40
I was f*cking my best mate's girlfriend behind his back. When he found out they split up and he moved to Manchester. She lost her dignity and I lost all my friends and respect. He was so embarrassed he had to quit from his international job, despite it being his last chance to do it. Saw him recently and he's still p1ssed off about it - wouldn't even shake my hand nor look me in the eye. evening JT |
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when I was 10 we moved and I had to go to a new school. For some reason the most popular kid there absolutely hated me, turned everyone against me and just made my life miserable...
Anyway the next year we started playing sports like football and cricket, and it turned out i was pretty good so I made some mates, then I got put up a division and made some bigger mates. At the same time mr popular turned out to be pretty bad at sports and fell down the ladder to become something of a school loser Well i'm a nice and peacefull guy, never hurt anyone, but I guess i was traumatised cuz I just wanted to crush this guy, I ripped into him every day, excluded him from playing any sports with us at lunch, we trashed his bike so bad his parents had to buy him a new one, then we threw that into the river, and much more. He had to change to the school in the next town over, 2 hour bus ride every morning and night for 5 years. (this was in outback australia) |
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Punched my Grandmother.
Broke into head of years room and trashed it. Trashed a derelict house and then found out a 90 year old guy lived there. Stole the takings in a Belgian bar (alcohol fuelled, young and goaded). I am ashamed of all of them. I have, however, reformed and always try to do the right thing. |
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doantwin2easy 01 Mar 23:16
The Betfairy 01 Mar 13:40 I was f*cking my best mate's girlfriend behind his back. When he found out they split up and he moved to Manchester. She lost her dignity and I lost all my friends and respect. He was so embarrassed he had to quit from his international job, despite it being his last chance to do it. Saw him recently and he's still p1ssed off about it - wouldn't even shake my hand nor look me in the eye. evening JT hahahahahhahaaa |
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flyde near preston/ blackpool?
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mine involved fire arms, a spade and police, think ill leave it at that.
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I once robbed a disabled charity box, spent all the money on drugs and drink then robbed a disabled guy when i was drunk... the following day i pi ssed over a religious place of worship then went inside and farted, later that evening i said to a war hero, he has no right to be in england because he can spak english and he cant speak polish so i stole a poppy off him and used it 2 roll a spliff
the week after....... |
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after reading this thread, i will never feel bad about winning money from you lot.
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molars no one win on here.
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Very strange this. There are so many people on here saying how they nailed their mates birds, yet everone on the forum has been crucifying John Terry (the tw@t) for doing just that
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i was about 17 and working at mcdonalds. It was a Friday nite and we were open until midnite, always used to get the pi$$heads in and there was always a fight or 2
anyway some bloke come in mouthing off, and moaning cos he had to queue up. he ordered chicken nuggets and i was in the kitchen. i heard him shout over ''you do anything to my f'ing food and ill come back there with a chainsaw'' luckily the section where the nuggets are was not in view of the front counter, so i got a few nuggets out, unzipped my trousers, wiped my c0ck on a few them, put them in a box, and gave them to my colleague who was serving him! was tempted to say ''enjoy your meal sir'' but thought better of it |
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Once out on the** in Cardiff and saw this bloke being chased by about 10 cabbies. Turned out he had done a runner.
As he went past me I couldn't resist it and stuck out a foot. He went down like a sack of spuds and the cabbies thanked me as they piled in. Felt guilty when I read in the paper how truely badly this bloke had been hurt. |
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Working at Mcdonalds is bad enough, you should of stopped there :D
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Having said that, one of my most disgraceful moments was picking up a girl at a party and giving her one while my mates watched through the window from the balcony. I then walked her home and went back to the party and repeated the feat with another girl who half way through said "weren't you with my younger sister earlier". The following day I went round to their house, younger sister answered the door and I asked for her elder sister. Poor girl, her face just about hit the floor. I was young and cruel then.
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A good friend was teaching me to drive in Hamilton, Ontario. I came around a blind corner and ran into a parked police car. I bloody totaled it as well. My mate told me to drive off quickly, so I asked why. He didn't have a drivers license. We split quick smart and parked the car up in his parents barn. The copper must have been real**ed at having to explain that one. He told his parents that he was driving and hit a wall.
Me and a mate hot wired a bulldozer and drove it in a lake out in buckf@ck nowhere, Nova Scotia. that was good fun at the time but had the RCMP knocking at all the houses in the neighbourhood asking if anyone knew anything. When they knocked at my house I didn't know and answered the f@cking door and stood there like a deer caught in headlights. Luckily he asked to speak to my mother. I am still sure to this day that my mother knew it was me and my m8. |
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Occam's Razor 01 Mar 21:33
Once out on the **** in Cardiff and saw this bloke being chased by about 10 cabbies. Turned out he had done a runner. As he went past me I couldn't resist it and stuck out a foot. He went down like a sack of spuds and the cabbies thanked me as they piled in. Felt guilty when I read in the paper how truely badly this bloke had been hurt. What a** you are. |
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ENGLANDAWAY 01 Mar 21:16
Punched my Grandmother. just spat my beer all over my laptop! fu.cking hell! :D |
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Voted labour last election even though it was blatently obvious they had completely lost the plot and were **ing everything up. Still feel bad :(
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Actually the worst thing i ever did was turning down the chance to join Man City at 13 years old, didn't want to stop playing with my mates. Ended up at Blackpool and got fooked off in the end for being to small. Oh what could of been
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i feel your pain u want some.
i was at chester city and wigan athletic as a kid had to choose who to stay on with at age 16 chose chester city - who promptly went into administration and scrapped most of youth team etc.... wigan now in the premier league |
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**g hell that is bad
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lol i know
if i didnt laugh i would probably kill myself lol :D |
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Do you still play for anyone ?
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The worst thing i have ever done is Lisa "Clarence" Mitchell from the albion pub in wolves. . . Clarence after the**eyed lion. . .
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only for an amateur team (wont name them on here)
get paid per match (literally £25 quid lol) plus travel expenses injured at the moment though - dislocation and fracture of the elbow - been in a mechanical arm brace for 4 months get it taken off soon |
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Me and a mate, we were 13 at the time, used to enjoy a spot of arson. We started a fire in a wood and it really caught hold. Think about 3 or 4 acres of it went up in smoke but we did have the decency to go to the nearest house and ask them to call the fire brigade before we scarpered. Also tried to derail an intercity train by placing a concrete block on the line. We were right scroats
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Mikael D'Haguenet
Do you work for Post Office in Chesterfield??? I know of a similar scam which was employed by some employees who shall remain nameless re: scratchcards and postal orders!! |
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Ah **, we used to do that on the tracks as well...but not to derail the train! We used to put lumps of ballast in a long line along the tracks...it sounded like a fúcking machine gun when a train went over it.
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DE RAILING TRAINS IS MENTAL.
GET YOUR HEAD LOOKED AT. |
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Sold raffle tickets where I worked at the time,(major post office ) £2 for 5 tickets, prize was a season ticket to your club, sold them in dribs and drabs so obviously spent the money, about £1200 in total, after the hillsborough disaster, put a poster up in work saying all money sent to the fund
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When a youngen me and the lads went round this old disabled birds house knowing that she didnt really know what was going on and would probably give out (so we'd heard), my mate then proceded to get a blowie off her! was weirdest thing ive ever seen
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Bangers N Mash
tut tut karma is a b1tch and will find you eventually |
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you'll get hit by a bus bangers
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was up a ridiculous amount of money on roulette at casino.....lost it all and had to borrow a tenner for a taxi home.....worst ive ever felt
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sold my gran to my mate for a fiver, she was wheel chair bound and had senial dementia, i let him finger her but that was it
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he ask if u wanted to "sniff your gran" after??
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Mick McCarthy For Pope 01 Mar 13:10
I had football training after school one day, I was about 14 or 15. Coming out of the changing rooms about 5pm I saw a pair of glasses on the floor. I have no idea why, but I had the urge to stamp on them and smash them. Next day my best mate came into school and said "I need to go round to the changing rooms and see if I left my glasses in there last night, if I've lost them my old man's going to kill me". I felt like the biggest **** ever. No idea why I broke them. Worse still I didn't even have the guts to own up. 15 years on he still doesn't know it was me. :^0 |
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When I was about 18 was going out with this girl, her mum was gorgeous, parents were away for the night, my girl was having a shower, I went down the wash basket and got her mums knickers out, sniiffed the gusset and peeled one off, emptied myself into them and put them back
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