Chit Chat
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Trivial things that really get on your tits
Trivial things that really get on your tits
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Replies: 671
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Adverts again, but this time the volume of them. There should be a law that EVERYTHING gets broadcast at -16db RMS.
And to those TV manufacturers who include an "audio compressor" to rectify the problem, Hello? IT DOESN'T WORK!. |
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Misuse of English is today's gripe.
There was a report in the paper about someone who "had his house burgled" Why would someone do such a thing? A drug addict has been labelled a "drug abuser" Did he give it a good hiding and lock it in a cellar? |
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wire coat hangers.
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Newsreaders having to fill in the history of a story for us.
"Nelson Mandela, (the former President of South Africa) is still critically ill." "...the mother of Steven Lawrence, (the young black man who was killed by a gang of racist thugs in Eltham in 1993)" ..do you know what I mean? |
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Web sites that ask you to enter phone or card numbers without spaces. How hard can it be to let people enter what they like and program the computer to take the spaces out? (Obviously, I'm betting without the Betfair IT department here.)
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"..do you know what I mean?"
Definitely. |
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People who say "to be honest" after or before a sentence -does it mean that on this one occasion they aren't lying?
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middle englanders - eg those cnunts that turn up on Henman hill, 'do Glasto', and with the help of their parents start making career choices when they are seven
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Aussies and politicians who start sentences with the word 'look'.
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people who go to sporting events who have absolutely no interest in that sport
I was at Lancs/Yorks last night - 4 people arrive after about 6 or 7 overs gone and sit infornt of me and my lad, for the next 3 overs one bloke is busy texting, then just as the bowler is coming in to bowl he stands up and decides he is going to take his jacket off - we miss 2 balls as result. He then goes to the bar with a friend and misses another 4 overs and then is on his phone for the rest of the Yorkshire innings. There were at least another 2 visits to the refreshments during the Lancs innings which only lasted 11 overs And they say people have no money - his ticket was £29, it was £3.50 a pint (* 5) and at least a tenner on food - not much change out of £50 and i'd be surprised if he even knew who was playing |
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Royal Ascot racegoers, most of which wouldn't know the arse end of horse from its head. They pay exorbitant amounts toget in, £300 for a dress or a suit, £100 for a hat, overpriced food and booze, and want £1 each way on a 4/6 shot.
Along with loads of other bookies, the line is so long that we were at the 2 furlong pole, and there wasn't one square foot of grass left as the general public had their picnics spread out everywhere. The leader of one group of cloth eared bints even tried to set her picnic out right in front of the joint ffs  And as the horses approach the 3 furlong marker, every chair, dustbin and table is stood on for them to get a view of the horses as they go past. They couldn't pick their horse out if it was in slow motion ffs. They scream and shout like facking lunatics with still over 2 furlongs to go. Bookies and staff don't get to see a race unless they watch the big screen. |
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The p1ssed off look when you hand in a 20 for the daily mirror and packet of Twix....and the bint asks you if have you got any smaller.
LIKE ITS ALL YOUR FAULT THAT THE NEWSAGENT HASNT GOT ANY CHANGE.  |
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*if you´ve got any smaller
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Getting tatty banknotes out of the cash machine or in change. I know it's still legal tender but ...
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Overly familiar, chatty, smiley bank clerks who insist on making polite small talk with you. Look, I'm visiting the bank to pick up some currency & then wish to exit the bank with said currency swiftly and discretely. You are simply the go-between in the transaction. I'd just like to receive the cash & leave without all the, 'Aww, dollars. Off to America are you? Euros? Off on holiday? Going anywhere nice?' etc etc.
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Charity collections at road junctions.
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One big fat queue in the middle at mcdonalds....all other manned tills EMPTY
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People who write
"sent from my iphone" at the bottom of emails.  |
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BBC news - regional pages
^^^^^^^^^ My very first post on this thread Excelled himself today, the twunt. The A380 Airbus lands at Cardiff. Where did this facking halfwit put it on regional news? I kid you not - he's got it on the page that covers KENT, FFS !! Toomy Toes could do better  |
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mobile text alerts that make this sound
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvewGmGO06Q |
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Adverts pronouncing titanium the American way to avoid saying tit. Likewise, Uranus.
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Bands who are paid, and paid well to provide music at weddings, then proceed to spend half the evening getting the guests to participate in half-baked, lame party games. You're there to play music, and get people dancing on the dance floor. Be as well hiring balloon shape making monkeys. Lazy ****'s
Transfer Deadline Day. Hours upon hours of nothing happening, save for some Sky reporter, reporting that some run of the mill French midfielder has been spotted at Stansted Airport. Sky will market the day as a big event, and people will spend all day watching it. At the close of play, that French Midfielder, will have signed for Fulham, and the only other moves will be 68 loan deals in the lower leagues. |
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The way Michael McIntyre says 'Google'
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Michael McIntyre.
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Jim Carrey's entire body of work
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Top Gear and Country file on at the same time BBC cants
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Yes, 11kv. I like Countryfile.
Mr Makybe's got Top Gear on |
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sum fecker standing right next to you when you´re on the fruit machine.
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People who pronounce the "h" in "Wolverhampton"
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Please enter unreadable squiggle letters to sumbit your comments.
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Loud, drunk, middle-aged women in Indian restaurants. This was observed last Friday - big group, & it was the wives who were laughing like a drain. As we quietly tucked into our cuzzas this cacophony was really disturbing. Like being stuck in the middle of a raucous hen night.
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Cuzzas?
That's one for the list. I didn't even know that would be annoying until just now. |
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You've slowly packed your shopping, whilst telling the cashier all about your grandson(who's sitting in your trolley)now you dig into your cavernous handbag, eventually find your purse and try to pay the exact amount, in change, only to realise (after several minutes) that you're twenty pence short. Then you put all the coins, one at a time, back in your purse and give her a twenty pound note. She is getting your change when you realise you have a voucher for 50p off and the whole rigmarole starts again.Yes, I did call you a dopy mare and yes I did remark that you were not fit to be let out and yes it was me that asked the cashier if they had a special checkout for loonies before leaving all my shopping on the conveyor belt and walking out before I exploded.
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People who join a shopping queue of one grandmother with a child in her trolley, KNOWING she will be slow, and then moaning about it.
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 1.01 LANDED |
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People who post images seemingly unaware of the fact that a lot of of us stay on the Classic forum, and can't see the pictures.
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Yes people on the wonderful new community forum do seem unaware to the fact.
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People who assume those posting images are unaware that there are some who choose not to use the forum upon which you can view them.
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Men who moan about women in queues, a constant source of chit chat rants, when if the said woman was highly attractive they would forgive her anything and would love the extra time waiting so they could ogle her some more
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Ice cream van men
I always give them a long quizical look as if to say 'are you really just a peadophile'  The funny thing is they always seem to give a little nod and a wry smile as if to say 'course i fkn am matey'  |