We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
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Warp and weft: Two sets of thread or yarn which make up a piece of woven fabric. During the weaving process the warp threads are stretched from the back to the front of the loom. The weft threads are inserted across the loom at right angles to the warp; the weft threads going under and over the warp threads. Traditionally, the weft is held in a shuttle and one weft thread is inserted at a time, which limits the speed, but in some looms the weft is inserted in continuous waves across the loom.
Fabrics made by machine knitting can be weft-knitted or warp-knitted. Next: Google |
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Google took their name from 'the googly' which is a type of delivery used by spin bowlers to confuse the batsman. It was apparently invented gy a bowler called Reginald Bosanquet, who later read the news on the tele, but only when he was drunk.
Next: Anna Ford |
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Anna Ford has a third nipple, three inches above her navel, and slightly to the left.
Next: Nipples |
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It has long been a puzzle as to why men have nipples.
Now all can be revealed due to the famous German archaelogist, Herr Scratchen von Trowel. While excavating a pre Inca settlement in Peru lastweek, he discovered an ancient manuscript that shows that the distance between the nipples on a man's chest are exactly the same distance between the hindlegs of his favourite llama. Next: Tony Lima |
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Tony Lima is an anagram of Monty Ali, the first Desert Rat to take up the noble art of pugilism.
Next: Tanks |
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Cheers Tommy
Tanks were first built in Lincoln, Lincolnshire. They were first used as a weapon of war in The Great War 1914-1918, otherwise known as the 1st World War. Both of these descriptions are anomalous, as it was certainly not 'Great' especially for the millions of young men who died; and not all of the World was involved. Next: Caterpillars |
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Cheers Tommy
Tanks were first built in Lincoln, Lincolnshire. They were first used as a weapon of war in The Great War 1914-1918, otherwise known as the 1st World War. Both of these descriptions are anomalous, as it was certainly not 'Great' especially for the millions of young men who died; and not all of the World was involved. Next: Caterpillars |
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Where's Rod Tidwell when you need him.
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aye carumba!
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welcome back Rod....YOUR TURN :)
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Caterpillars have such a voracious appetite that it is believed they can eat three Jacobs Cream Crackers in under a minute without having to drink any water!
next: Cheese Rolling |
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Roman servants were required to cheese roll their masters, before they discovered an effective soap. Contrary to popular belief, the vomitarium was not a room for being sick.
Next - Laurels |
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When Laurel trees are first planted they grow outwards and form a mattress of cover. After a tiring day tending and watering, the laurel farmer would lie down and 'rest on his lauerls' prior to going home. Hence the well worn phrase.
Next: Proverbs |
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ttt
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Prov'erbs is what Yankee chefs sprinkle on American Mud Pies when trying to impress their French customers. It rarely works.
Next: Frogs |
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Genuine frogs are extremely rare and can be characterised only by the fact that they turn into princes if they are kissed on the lips. The last case of this happening occurred when a young Princess Margaret cheekily gave a frog in Sandringham lake a smacker and Prince Charles was created (she left him under a gooseberry bush for her sister to find)...as such many of the Royal Family now possess Amphibian DNA to boost their blood line
next: Corgis |
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to ze top
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"Cor G.Is!" was a flirtatious remark often heard in WW2 by women of England when they spotted American Air Force men, so desperate were they for a pair of nylon stockings. Fraternising with the Yanks was infinitely better than fending off the packs of stray dogs following the girls about for a lick of the gravy browning on their legs.
It is an unscrupulous rumour that some lasses never really could tell the difference. Next: "Got any gum, chum?" |
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"Cor G.Is!" was a flirtatious remark often heard in WW2 by women of England when they spotted American Air Force men, so desperate were they for a pair of nylon stockings. Fraternising with the Yanks was infinitely better than fending off the packs of stray dogs following the girls about for a lick of the gravy browning on their legs.
It is an unscrupulous rumour that some lasses never really could tell the difference. Next: "Got any gum, chum?" |
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The phrase 'Got Any Gum Chum?' is believed to have originated in the Crimean War when Florence Nightingale encouraged patients to use chewing gum to reattach each others severed limbs...it became unpopular when the practise became all the rage in leper colonies resulting in the wrong type of publicity for Wrigleys...nowadays surgeons prefer to use more up to date methods but Chewing Gum Medication is still frequently the preferred method in Third World areas although it is recommended to check the small print on your travel insurance before masticating.
next: The Charge of the Light Brigade |
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[Superb, Rod]
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cheers Tommy....any takers for riding into the Valley of Death?
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ok....
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The Light Brigade was a term used derogatively to describe 19th century enthusiasts for street lighting and other social 'improvements' such as waste removal, hospitals and policing. Reasonable no-nonsense types resented the resulting 5% income tax, referring to it as The Charge of the Light Brigade.
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What's 'next' Sparky?
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Next: Balaclavas
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Balaclavas are excellent headwear for jogging at night..not only do they keep your head warm but also ensure a clear path on the road ahead..it is important not to do sprint bursts while exercising in them though which may give the wrong impression and could result in being accidentally shot several times
next: Swiss Balls |
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Roger Federer has Swiss Balls.
Next: Pete Sampras |
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Pete Sampras was known as 'Pistol' Pete..a nickname referring to his unsavoury habit of carrying his 'piece' around with him on court in case of any disputed line calls...umpires frequently wore bulletproof vests in Wimbledon finals as a deterrent to his gun toting antics. Now retired from professional tennis he is a rap song artist masquerading under the name 'Ice Muvva'
next: Duelling Banjos |
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squeal little piggies
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Duelling Banjos is actually a misspelling of jewelling banjos. Before banks and safety deposit boxes this was the practise of hiding your valuable jewels in the body of a banjo. The idea being that anyone seeing someone coming with a banjo would immediately place themselves out of earshot, (and therefore far enough away not to be able to see the jewels hidden within).
Jewellery was safe until the mid 20th century when George Formby suddenly made playing the banjo popular, causing all of it to be stolen overnight. Next: Air Force One |
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When the Navy played the RAF recently in a friendly football match, the result was:
Sailors 0 Air Force 1 (The winner was apparently a controversial late penalty scored by Flight Lt Kenny 'The Devil' Walters) |
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Next: Top Gun
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Top Gun was originally scripted as a romantic comedy, with the intention of Hugh Grant playing the bumbling manager of a B&Q store in Swindon. The plot involved Grant falling for a young female customer (played by Jennifer Saunders), but unable to get into her pants because of an inabilty to speak to her without saying the word 'sparrow' in every sentence.
On re-reading the script, Hollywood executive Jason B. Orgelheimer declared 'This is f'king sh1t. Get me Tom Cruise & Kelly McGillis, and let's make a film about planes.' And so one of the greatest films in cinematographic history came to pass. Next: Scientology |
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Scientology is an offshoot of Siantology. It was invented by Tom Cruise who saw Sian Lloyd presenting the weather forecast on ITV on one of his rare visits to England. He was here for the 'Men who are under 5ft Tall Convention'
Anyhow, on spotting Sian he was transfixed by her lilting Welsh accent and unfeasibly wide grin.So smitten was he, he went away and invented this 'religion' in worship of her. As with all 'religions' factions sprouted up. Eventually John Travolta got hold of it and mistakenly dubbed it Scientology, adding on the nonsensical beliefs he and his followers now hold. Next: Michael Fish. |
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Michael Fish are mistakenly bought by many Lidl and Aldi shoppers in the belief that they are the much more highly prized St Michael Fish. While Michael Fish can be found in any run of the mill fishmongers (9/10 zookeepers said their penguins actually preferred them), St Michael Fish are not just any ordinary fish, spending their infant years growing rich in the nutrients of Dervla Kirwans bathwater before they reach maturity and release their own Chablis and dill infused jus.
next: Picking up a penguin |
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Picking Up A Penguin. Early explorers to Antarctica were dismayed by the lack of entertainment facilities there. Once you had chipped the ice off the toilet bowl, watched the weather vane going round and round and listened to the static on your Marconi radio set, there was very little else to do.
To alleviate the boredom, two men from an American research facility devised a game. They would seek out a group of penguins huddled together. One person would stand with his back to the Penguins, whilst the other picked one up and swapped it over with another. On the call of Ready, the other would face the penguins, and had to say which two had been swapped. The game always begun with a call to pick up a penguin, but so bitterly cold was it that their teeth would chatter, and the call sound somewhat like P ..P..P..Pick up a P..P..Penguin! Relief teams arriving in the Antarctic often found men out playing these games for hours, and were disturbed by the insanity of standing out in the cold all day, picking up penguins, every one of which, of course, looked exactly identical. It soon became a phrase that anyone who had been in Antarctica for too long, and had started to go a bit crazy had Gone to pick up a penguin. The phrase was eventually picked up by the Scottish explorer and confectioner Len Mcvitie, who made it famous when applied to his new chocolate biscuit bar, the Penguin, in 1937. Next: Doolally Tap. |