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Decking Muhammad Ali in the 9th round of their world Heavyweight title fight was both the best and worst thing Chuck Wepner ever did.
Wepner was standing on Ali's foot when he landed a punch to the chest that brought Ali down. The referee ruled it as a knockdown. Wepner was delighted when he went back to his corner and said "Hey, I knocked him down." "Yeah" said Wepner's manager, "but he looks really p!ssed off now..." From the 10th round on, Ali went to town on Wepner, cut him over both eyes and broke his nose. Wepner was floored (for the first time in his career) in the final round and was stopped with 19 seconds of the fight remaining. Achieving 'cult' status for boxing fans, this fight remains one of the most amusing and entertaining of Ali's victories - with due credit going to Wepner for his tenacity in the face of overwhelming class. This fight was the inspiration for Stallone to write the script for 'Rocky' which prompted Wepner to sue him (unsuccessfully) for a share of the profits. Next: Does your mother have a trout pout? |
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'Does Your Mother Have A Trout Pout' was the original title of Abba's hit 'Does Your Mother Know'. A Trout Pout is a commonly used pot in Scandinavia to make delicious smoked fish delicacies such as Vulcanised Trout Belly and Snoek Fondue. It was a standing joke in the group that Agnetha's mother was the worst fish cook in the whole of the Malmo area and Benny and Bjorn were quick to pen a song about it. UK music executives got them to change it though fearing a reaction from Mary Whitehouse. However, singles with the song on the B side of Abba's cover of Ernie - The Fastest Milkman in the West are still occasionally seen traded on E Bay for vast sums
next: Benny Hill |
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The famous and talented blues guitarist, Ben E King's real name was in fact, Benjamin Hill. He had to chang iti so as not to be confused with a third rate British comedian of the same name.
Next: The Axe |
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The axe is an example of a simple machine, as it is a type of wedge, or dual inclined plane. This reduces the effort needed by the wood chopper. It splits the wood into two parts by the pression. The handle of the axe also acts as a lever allowing the user to increase the force at the cutting edge (try using an axe head without a handle and you will see what is meant) - not using the full length of the handle is known as choking the axe. For fine chopping using a side axe this sometimes a positive effect, for felling with a double bitted axe it reduces efficiency.
next= mother in laws |
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Motherin' laws.
1) Feed the little critters when they be a-cryin'. A doggone drop of that Calpol on eacha yo fine-ass titties, and the little'un'll sleep right through to supper. 2) They sh1t themselves, don't jist stan' there - clean it up, woman! That ain't no man's work! 3) Git yourself back inta shape mighty quick - you gotta be a wife too, lady, not just a mother.It jist ain't right that a man should be waving his goddam flag in Yankee Stadium - tighten it up, woman! Next: Mustard |
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That was "fine-a$$ t1tties" if anyone's interested...
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As any tv historian will tell you Pat Mustard is to Father Ted what Moriarty was to Sherlock Holmes. The episode Speed 3 involving the hairy baby maker was used as a training video for Unigate Dairies and is believed to be largely responsible for the decline in the doorstep pinta. Blue t1ts were originally blamed but the imposition of fines for spoiling milk bottle tops seemed to halt their behaviour.
next: Bored housewives |
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During the war bored housewives would leave the OMO washing detergent box in the window to show "special friends" passing by that it was safe to call in as Old Man Out!
Its got to be fact, my grandad told me.....lol Next topic Gold |
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Gold is the acronym for Gobby Objectional Lard-@rsed Divas, who seem ever-present in today's society.
Next: Vanessa Feltz |
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Vanessa Feltz is currently engaged to Ben Ofoedu, the former lead singer of 'Phats and Small'. Her previous partners include Vincent van der Vliegen from 'The Vengaboys' and also Jim Pliers from 'Chaka Demus and Pliers'.
Next: Chaka Khan |
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Chaka Khan is the daughter of the Aga Khan and so is the female spiritual leader of the Shia Imami Ismaili Muslims when she isnt belting out records. Her 'wrath' is well known back home though and it is an offence punishable by death to publicly criticise her discography
next: Vulcan Mind Melds |
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The origional method for this type of communication involved the participants having to be naked. They then wrapped their legs around each others necks and gyrated wildly for a number of minutes in order to achieve the mind melding effect.
This, of course had to be toned down when TV fame called on the Vulcan race, resulting in the rather tame sight of Mr Spock and his partner barely touching each other. Next: Extracing Latex From Trees. |
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The origional method for this type of communication involved the participants having to be naked. They then wrapped their legs around each others necks and gyrated wildly for a number of minutes in order to achieve the mind melding effect.
This, of course had to be toned down when TV fame called on the Vulcan race, resulting in the rather tame sight of Mr Spock and his partner barely touching each other. Next: Extracing Latex From Trees. |
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Extracting Latex From Trees is the new single by Katie Melua, a melodic study not only of how the extraction is done but how it is affecting deforestation around the world...Paul Gambaccini will be in tears when he does the voice over for the advert which is due out to coincide with Mothers Day (RRP 9.99)
next: DJs |
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All Radio DJs have it etched into their contracts that they arent allowed to criticise any song they play, no matter how big a pile of po0 it is. In situations where they don't like the song they are advised to say either 'That will appeal to his/her/their fans' or 'Its a grower'.
Next: Liars |
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Liars.
Last year over 4,000 journailsts in the UK were admitted to hospital with burns to their genital area, the spontaneous combustion of their underpants being apparently to blame. Next: Pigs |
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Pigs
Pigs are made almost entirely of bacon and therefore make excellent sandwiches. However, it is a huge faux pas to ask a pig to make you a bacon sandwich. Be prepared to suffer the ridicule of your friends if you do this as the pig will most likely snuffle a bit and bury its nose in the nearest heap of mud Next: Mud |
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Mud is made up of earth, rain, and a secret ingredient that is only known by the CEO of Coca Cola enterprises and one of his colleauges. Obviously they are never allowed to travel together as a fatal accident could result in mud becoming extinct.
Next: Ring-pulls |
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I am the world record holder for flicking 'old style' ring-pulls. On a balmy Spring evening in 1982, in Castlewellan, Co Down, N Ireland, at appoximately 4.07pm, I flicked the ring pull of a Coca-Cola can an amazing 79ft1inch. Sadly, future attempts at this world record have been folied by these rubbish new-fangled ring-pulls that don't even come off the can.
Next: Bluebells |
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Bluebells is derived from blueballs - a condition rumoured to afflict young men who aren't getting their share.
Next: Oats |
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Unfortunately oats became unpopular in the 1920s and sales of porridge declined dramatically when it became a common misconception that they had a strong laxative effect. Unknowingly when uttering the phrase 'I may be gone sometime', Captain Titus Oates was the culprit, the public mistakenly associating his phrase with the cereal crop rather than his surname, and assuming that his venture into the snowy wastelands was due to a bad breakfast regime.
Luckily through a positive marketing campaign by Quakers this idea was shaken off and this magnificent breakfast is once again de rigueur (although considerably improved by the addition of dried blueberries, apple flakes and honey imho)...apart from a brief period in the 70s when consumers became worried that Ready Brek was radioactive next: Winter Warmers |
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When 1920's market stall owners werent selling jellied eels or eating pie and mash, they were inventing 'rhyming slang'. Winter Warmers is the**erney rhyming slang for Judith Chalmers, presenter of 'Wish You Were Here?', who at the time was a teenager.
Next: Tangerines |
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superb Oats letter Rod :)
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Blackpool FC was formed in 1875 by the owner of a laundry near the Tower named Wi Dri Tu, who was a Chinese Mandarin. He duly put the team in Orange shirts and nicknamed them the Tangerines as he was a fan of lateral thinking.
Next: Brainstorming |
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brain numbing at the moment on this one...anyone else?
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Reuters: Mr Brian Storming was found guilty at Alabama State Court on Monday, of mowing his lawn in a sexually provocative way. He was sentenced to a 12-week custodial sentence. Mr Storming's attorney, Montell Sugarmountain Jr. III, said in a statement outside the courthouse: "What has this great country of ours, and the State of Alabama, come to when a man cannot cut his own front lawn in a pair of ar$eless chaps? "
Next: Spelling mistakes |
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Spelling mistake (US slang)
A regrettable act of congress with an unattractive young lady for no better reason than her father is rich and or famous. Next: acts of Congress. |
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An anagram of Acts Of Congress is : Scarcest of Snog
Next : turnips |
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Turnips are viry popyilar amengst wearers of trowsers in Sowth Efrica.
Next: F. W. de Klerk. |
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Ferdy Wallmeister is de clerk at my local HSBC.
Next : artichokes |
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Arti Chokes
After another disappointing display by this former top sprinter, marked by an alarming drift on the exchanges, his trainer said 'the colt has developed a breathing problem' Next: Respirators |
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A man walks into a bar and is talking with the barman when he's asked how things are hanging.
The man says, "Well... my neighbour is really annoying me with her singing. I've got to do something about it!" The barman replies, "Hmmm... I know a man who can sort that out for you. Come back tomorrow and I'll introduce you to him." The next day, the man walks into the pub. The barman sees him and introduces him to someone else sitting at the bar, "Meet Arty. Arty, this is the man who has the problem." Arty says, "Hello. I hear you have a problem with your neighbour. I'll sort it out for you." The man replies, "That would be great! How much is it going to cost me?" Arty thinks for a moment then says, "I'll do it for a pound." "A pound?!?" the man replies. "Yeah. Where can I find this neighbour?" "Oh, she works at Tesco's. She sits in the far right corner of the cafeteria every day at 1pm." Arty says "OK," then leaves. The next day, Arty walks to Tesco's and heads for the cafeteria. He looks in the far right corner and sees four people. "Oh no!" he thinks to himself. "Who is it?" A few moments pass and he walks up to the table. He wraps his hands around the first person's neck and strangles her. He wraps his hands around the seconds person's neck and strangles her. He wraps his hands around the third person's neck and strangles her, and lastly, wraps his hands around the fourth person's neck and strangles her. The following day the man walks back to the bar and on a table he sees a newspaper. On the newspaper the headline says, "Arty chokes four for a pound at Tesco's." |
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oh ffs :(
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It's a bit tangential that one.
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And two for the price of one aziraphale :)
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The first ever respirators were called Tunes and enabled thousands of people to enjoy second class returns to Nottingham which they might otherwise have never been able to partake in
next: Robin Hood and his Merry Men |