We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
Your discussions, insights, engagement, and, most importantly, feedback have helped shape the platform and guided innovation. Your feedback continues to be important to us, and we will continue to listen via our dedicated feedback channels, as well as through product testing and innovations.
To share your feedback and experience, visit: https://support.betfair.com/app/home
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The Battle of Balaclava was very short - for obvious reasons.
Next: Other examples of unsuccessful armour. |
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Other examples of unsuccessful armour include Ena Sharples' hairnet to ward off extra-terrestrial brain invaders.
Next: The Klingons in the Rovers Return |
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During an assault on the Gamma quadrant, Klingon spaceships were once forced to refuel on Earth...sensors had detected a substance (later revealed as Betty's hotpot) that would give them maximum warp power. What was meant to be a peaceful trading mission nearly ended in disaster though when one of the crew got caught short after quaffing too much mild...he correctly asked for the bathroom ('nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e' ) but this was mis-translated by Ken Barlow who told him 'Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam ' (today is a good day to die!). Despite valiant attempts by Jim Macdonald to diffuse the situation by comenting on the smoothness of their foreheads, the pub was vaporized.
next: Shatners Bassoon |
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William Shatner was awarded the lead role in Star Trek as a result of his concert-quality bassoon playing. The creator of the series (Gene Rodenberry) had been a great fan of orchestral music since his early years in a Hungarian slave-camp for promising musicians (though, he himself was a pianist), and on hearing Shatner's bassoon, is reported to have asked 'Florence Beatrice Price? Who's Shatner?' Shortly after landing the part of Kirk, Shatner gave an interview to Rolling Stone magazine, in which he said "Thank God for my bassoon, I'd heard that getting a part like this might require me to play the pink oboe."
"Shatner's basson" has hence become a colloquialism for a hidden talent. Next: Queen Elizabeth II |
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Queen Elizabeth II has been deemed the least successful sequel ever. After none of the cast from the original were available realtive unknowns Michelle McManus and Andy Fordham were cast as Elizabeth and Drake respectively. The scene were Fordham refuses to stop playing darts when he hears the Armada is on its way has been widely derided.
Next: Grease |
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Grease was invented by accident in 1933 as a by product of the manufacture of drainpipes. It was first used in the process of allowing fish to squeeze through railings.
Next: Neutron Bombs |
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Neutron, the hot favourite in today's main race at Chepstow, trailed in a disappointing 5th behind seemingly inferior opposition. Jockey Kieran Fallon was unavailable for comment.
Next: The Wombles |
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A line from a wombles episode, (Uncle B I think ) "See a worm, pick it up, and all the day you have....
a worm Next; the monopolies commission |
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OK Rod, fair enough!! I have not slept for 2 nights, Ive got that poxy norovirus (winter vomiting c****ing bug) and some of it must have jumped on to the page, that is my only very weak excuse,
I really do have the damm thing, be careful mate you really don't want this avoid it if you can |
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My Auntie Catherine Zeta Eve who lives in Lainfairprwllgringethprllggosillyogogogogogh, which is in Wales, had her extremely prominent ears pinnedd back in a cosmetic type operation
On her first night out afterwards she met her friend Catherine Zeta Dafffyyydd. He took one look at her and said, and her'e the punch line....'New years Eve?' Next: January Sales |
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Missing posts or was I dreaming?
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The monopolies commission has been called in to look at the January Sales in case other months of the year feel aggrieved.
Next: PC gone mad! |
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PC gone mad
This can be related to a thread on chit chat called R.I.P. Spark's PC by sparkmaster. Another thread on chit chat that can be found is THE FAMOUS WORD ASSOCIATION GAME NEXT: THE FAMOUS WORD ASSOCIATION GAME |
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The Famous Word Association Game was started by The Invisible Man. However, was it Claude Rains or The Man From Uncle: Illya Kuryakin (aka David McCullum) tapping away at the keyboard?
Next: THRUSH |
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Off the Irish Coast the population of cuttlefish was seriously under threat due to sudden and unprovoked attack. The Cuttlefish leader sent out a posse of lesser cuttlefish to investigate. Some hours later they returned, shouting THRUSH! THRUSH!. At which the cuttlefish band scuttled away as fast as they could.
One young cuttlefish, not understanding asked a passing friend what THRUSH meant. 'Two Halibuts Rampaging, Unde Sea Havoc... Swim for your life' Next: budgerigars |
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Budgerigars are the least popular species of bird among the avian community. They are viewed as arrogant,**y, and frankly quite garishly plumaged, especially by smaller, browner birds such as the wren and the house sparrow.
Next: Sparrows. |
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Sparrows are the most popular species of bird among the avian community. They are viewed as modest, self-deprecating, and frankly quite plain, especially by larger, more garishly-plumaged birds such as the budgie and the c0ckatoo.
Next: C0ckneys |
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How to spot a true**ney
1. Born within sound of Bow Bells 2. Has a pearly suit in the wardrobe 3. Has a endearing tale to tell of gangland London in the 60s 4. Is an ambassador for pie and mash 5 When you ask them for directions they tell you to **** off 6 Has never ventured south of the river 7 Believes anything north of**fosters is a heathen wasteland 8 Been forcibly moved to Australia anything else is a Jamie Oliver next: Jack the Ripper |
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On the foggy streets of Whitechapel in the 1880's a series of gruesome murders took place. The locals were aghast, the Police dumbfounded and the fog was thick.
Over the years many theories were put forward as to the identity of the perpertrator of these heinous crimes, none of which was Jack the Ripper. Next: Crown Green Bowling |
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The origins of Crown Green Inter County bowls matches date back to 1893 when Yorkshire and the then combined County of Lancashire & Cheshire began a series of friendly matches which, with the exception of 1897, carried on until 1908.
The first of these games took place on June 22nd. at the Clifton Bowling Club, with Yorkshire playing host to Lancashire & Cheshire in a 22 a side match and losing by 22. The return match was at the Midland Hotel, Gorton, with Lancashire & Cheshire again winning, this time by 107. 1894 saw a slight change with the matches being 26 a side, with the combined counties again winning both matches. At Huddersfield, Yorkshire lost by 33 shots and in the second match at the Woodlands Bowling Club, Manchester, Lancashire & Cheshire won by 105. 1895 saw yet another change with the matches now being 34 a side, with Yorkshire recording their first win by 134 shots using the Black Bull Hotel, Mirfield, and in the return leg Lancashire & Cheshire at the Northumberland Bowling Club, Broughton, won by 59 shots next : big wave surfing |
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Elevation exercise
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Elevation exercise
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Apple and Dawncraft Surf have got together and patented the very first combined lap-top and surfboard. Named 'Laboard', which is an amusing reference to the left side of a boat, and yet it combines aspects of both components.
It is aimed at the chit-chat market in order for them to get some much needed excercise, ie big wave surfing, while posting nonsense on here. Next: Permed Hair. |
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Hairdressers around the country still remember fondly the golden days of permed hair when many made their fortune. Vidal Sassoon in particular claimed to be turning away people at his doors sporting photographs of cultural icons Carlos Valderrama and the Hair Bear Bunch who they wanted to imitate. Alas, the only hope of returning to such heady days is if David Beckham decides to follow suit
Carlos Valderrama himself had to get rid of his famous locks recently when political refugees were found to be hiding within it. next: Going on holiday |
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Going on holiday is a task not to be taken lightly these days. As well as making sure you're able to pass all the usual inspections required by airports you must now be able to prove you can fly a jumbo jet backwards, perform in-air open-heart surgery with a flue brush stuck up your nose and dance the conga and juggle three bananas and a kumquat whilst queueing for the toilet, before you are allowed a boarding pass on a plane.
Next: Red tape |
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Cletus 'Red' Tape was an infamous gunslinger in the 19th century mid west. No one could beat him on the draw but he was killed by the Clanton gang in Dodge City...as usual he was first to aim but he realised his piece was not his usual Colt 45 and did not conform to US safety standards ..as a result he thought it prudent not to fire on a health and safety perspective
next: would you do it for Randolph Scott? |
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'Would you do it for Randolph Scott?' is soon to become a househould phrase, after being chosen as the latest tagline in the long-running BT call stimulation campaign.
Commented Trinstan O'Sinclair, Media Director of cutting-edge creative agency Rock The Consumah: 'These ads will do for phonecalls what being poked on FaceBook does for the Croisette'. Next: Real Ale |
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Real is the most famous team from the Northern Spanish town of Ale. In the big local derby at the weekend, against neighbours Athletico Ale, Real emerged as 2-1 victors thanks to an 87th minute strike by substitute Marco Arrabiata.
Next: Decking |
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