We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
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St Trinian's was a girls' school named after Trinian, the patron saint of fashion sense and freckles.
Next: Sam Fermines (Pamplona) |
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Sam Fermines of Pamplona, Spain, is so sick of being mistaken for the fiesta of San Ferninas, that he now holidays in Blackpool every July. Friends have suggested that it would be simpler to shave off his moustache, but he won't hear of it.
Next: Handlebars. |
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Handlebars are named after the inventor Irene Handl, who, on inventing them pursed her lips and said "Oooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees"
Next: Mervyn Day |
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Ensure you book a big enough van and have plenty of newspapers, boxes and tape. Unpacking the kettle, mugs and tea first at the other end is always a morale booster.
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Next: Carpets
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Any carpet stain except for one can be removed by soaking in vinegar. The exception of course being vinegar.
Next: Vinegar |
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The Sultan of Brunei's family actually made their fortune in the corn snack and potato crisp industry and many people are unaware that Vinegar is his christian name.
Next: Prawn**tail |
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The best possible meal always starts with prawn**tail, followed by steak and then Black Forest gateau.
FACT Next : Fact |
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The Federation Against Copywrite Theft is the same Federation that spreads brutal authoritarian rule throughout the universe in Blake's 7, and Servalan is a direct descendent of Simon Bates.
Makes you thikn. Next: Tommy Boyd |
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FACT is not an amazing fact. In fact, it is unlikely to be a fact at all and merely demonstrates onomatopoeically what the poster's state of argument is (accent from Essex and surrounding required)
Next: The Prodigy |
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Tommy Boyd scored an own goal against Brazil, but it was originally deflected off Susan Stranks.
Next: Magpie |
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Rossini's early manuscripts of his famous work 'The Thieving Magpie' were stolen from his kitchen window by a Robbing Robin no less.
Next: The Joker |
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Steve Miller's 'The Joker' is the biggest selling single of all time in Narnia.
Next: The pompatas of love. |
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Steve Miller was inspired to create a band when he once saw Cesar Romero talking to Jack Nicholson on a motorbike whilst they were playing cards. They released "Abracadabra" as a result.
Next: Cat litter |
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lol Bert. sorry...
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The legendary cleanliness of cats extends only so far as their personal hygiene. The fact is: they are notorious litterers. Crisp packets, chip wrappers, chewing gum and fag butts is only the start of it. They are responsible for 80% of fly tipping, and the mess left behind by some travellers can be blamed fairly and squarly on their cats. If they don't like a sofa anymore; if the washing machine breaks down - out on the pavement it goes without another thought. The only reason they get to sleep for sixteen hours a day is because they blooming well never clean up after themselves. B*stards.
Next: Waste Management. |
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Waste Managment is often used by the Mafia as a front to launder their ill gotten gains much like Tony Soprano who in fact has nothing to do with the Mafia and is just an actor playing a part of a mob boss
Next Marlon Brando |
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Marlon Brando might well have been a contender had he not had such a girly name.
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Whatever happened to Spick & Span? |
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After hitting the heights in the 70's the pair split as due to spicks heavy drinking. Span went onto greater succes in the 80's by adding the word OUT to the front of his name.
Next Sand |
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Sand is nature's cruellest trick to humans. Non-magnetic, it does, however, have attraction properties in relation to human skin.
This is why, six months after stepping in a sandpit with one foot only, you will find sand in your hair. It has gone through the body in an osmotic process. Next: The Mary Whitehouse Experience |
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the marywhite did not experience very much compared to ...
next . MARY MILLINGTON ! |
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Born Ernest Stokes, you would be ill advised to thus address this former heavyweight wrestler from Stockton.
Next: Henry Root. |
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Although the Henry (H) is a unit of electrical inductance, the cube root of Henry, when applied to to the seemingly unrelated field of Crochet, can be used to produce 4-dimensional Tea Cosys.
Next: Victoria Sponge. |
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Victoria Sponge is named after the Victoria Ground, former home of Stoke City. It waterlogged very easily, apparently.
Next: Burton-upon-Trent |
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Derby Turn Island, Burton, is the real final resting place of the late Princess of Wales.
http://www.burton-on-trent.com/Derby_Turn_3.jpg Next: The Grief Police. |
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A small constabulary working for DTi investigating incidences of "compassionate leave" from the workplace. People whose granny hasn't just died are routinely flogged in Wolverhampton Town Square for the entertainment of the masses.
Next: Chow Mein |
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Before the invention of the potato in 1492, the entire population of Ireland subsisted solely on take-away Chinese food. The most poplular dish being peat bog chow mein.
Next: Ireland |
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The name Ireland derives, as you might expect, from the fact that the country is an island. Ironically, when the name was first given to the country, by Samuel Pepys in 1667, Ireland was not and island, as it was joined to the Isle of Man by a giant lollipop stick.
Next: Samuel Pepys |
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Samuel Pepys (1604-1678) was Englands first milkman and his dairy has been a popular research topic for historians ever since.
Next: Crop Circles |
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"Crop Circles" was a term used to describe the most popular haircut in medieval times. Pioneered by monks, its popularity waned with the growing realisation that religion is the source of most of the world's problems. It is thought to have enjoyed a brief renaissance in the early 17th century as a euphemism for circumcision.
Next: Xaviera Hollander |
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Xaviera Hollanda was the first hermaphrodite to become a member of the knisset parliament. She was also an entrant in the 1972 olympic games.
next: damage limitation |
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Damage Limitation is not going out on a Friday night, necking 12 pints of "wife" before eating a kebab and trying to pick up that shaved headed bloke's missus at the bus stop. It's probably something else.
Next: Reassuringly expensive beer |
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On rare occasions a pact with Satan results in unintended benefits to the common good. For instance, a single Flemmish brewmeister has been forced to run the Stella Artois brewery nonstop since 1366. While this has certainly been an effective form of torture, it has also produced a beer with exceptional clarity and batch-to-batch consistancy its expensive is responsible for the saying 'Pay the devil his dues'.
Next: Archangel Michael |
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oops for expensive read expense
Next: Archangel Michael |
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Archangel Michael was a celebrated drunken tramp in the Russian port of the same name. Although known as Michael, his real name was, however, Ivan. The Tramp Federation of Archangel already had an Ivan, however, so he adopted the name of his favourite member of Wham! His main hooks were playing an invisible banjo and making flower sculptures out of discarded cardboard and mud.
Next: Tipperary Tim |
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Tipperary Tim, real name Tim Thorndike, was the John McCririck of the 1700's. With wild, straggly hair and a bushy, unkempt beard, he used to dish out advice on the local goat racing and cheese rolling competitions. His nickname came from people calling him Tipper Hairy Tim, and this was eventually shortened to Tipperary Tim.
Next: Bearded Dragons |
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CAMRA, The Campaign For Real Ale, numbers eight dragons, two chimaerae, a dozen basilisks, more than four hundred hippogriffs and twenty-nine pushmi-pullyus among it's membership. All of which are bearded as per society rules.
Next: Zombies |
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Zombies stings hurt more than zomwasps
Next: Next |
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High street chain store Next actually shut due to insovency three years ago - however nobody noticed, except for people employed in middle management who for two months had to go to work naked.
Next: Street Lights |