As well as being the sometime President of the United States George Bush Jr is better known in his hometown of Groin, TX, as the owner of the state's largest collection of envelopes. He displays them in his Thriller in Manilla walk through experience. "I'll be there in a jiffy" he jokes with visitors.

"Fisting plinths" is an evocative phrase that means absolutely nothing to me but would cost you 40 outside the Parthenon.

You can bargain down to 30, though.

Next: Benzene derivatives

Spiders are taught to act scary at a very young age. Before attending scariness seminars, most spiders are quite friendly. One of the first lessons is in fact to hide in dead people's noses whenever they see someone with a camera - and to 'peek out'


Next: Librarys

woss neckst ?

Deoxyribonucleic acid has never, since its discovery in the early eighties, been spelt correctly - until now - which for me is a miracle.


Next: Dictionaries?

The old people in seaside resorts such as Eastbourne and its surrounding hamlets are spot-welded to the benches that line the sea-front every spring to make the place look popular.

Next: Napoleon

Captain Mainwaring was always called " Napoleon" by the ARP warden in Dad's Army. Quite who this Napoleon chap was we will never know as Bill Pertwee died before the episode revealing all was filmed.

Next - going back to the post before last.

lets not confuse this gang next is mini me's

Rubber clothing

kleenex were sued recently for false advertsising, when it was discovered that the so called "double strength tissues" were in fact only 1.94 times the strength of normal tissues. this resulted in many embarrasing "break through" occurrences, where a true double strength tissue would have blocked the resulting "mucus explosion". not my words, the words of the presideing judge in the court case.

next... the common cold

Some of Enoch Powells best mates were black. "Invited one to my wedding actually".

Next: rivers.

Innuendo - If I had an answer I'd give you one.

Next : West Ham Conservative Club

Anne Boleyn (c.1504 - 1536)


Portrait of Anne Boleyn, artist unknown The second wife of King Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn enjoyed only a short life, marred by manipulation and misfortune.

She was the daughter of Sir Thomas Boleyn and her mother, Elizabeth Howard, was daughter of the Duke of Norfolk. Anne was popular and can only be described as having sex appeal. She had many suitors including Henry Percy, heir to the Earldom of Northumberland. But her father had bigger plans for her.

Henry VIII had already had an affair with Anne's sister and as he wooed her, he continued to make the Duke of Norfolk his favourite, showering him with favours. Anne is thought to have showed disinterest in the King until negotiations for a divorce from Catherine of Aragon were initiated. Nonetheless, Anne was secretly married to Henry in 1533, six years after their relations had begun and before the divorce had been achieved.

After a public celebration of their union, Henry's interest in Anne cooled and were made worse by the birth of Princess Elizabeth - who should have been a boy - and then a stillborn male child. During May Day celebrations Henry rode off abruptly from Greenwich, abandoning his queen before an audience and the following day she was arrested. She was accused of adultery with her own brother and four commoners - they were all tried and convicted of treason by Anne's own uncle, Thomas Howard. On 19th May she was beheaded and by the end of the month Henry VIII was married to Jane Seymour.

next.... fruit salads

I can't help noticing that more and more accuracies seem to be creeping into this thread.

greensleeves was not actually written by henry the 8th as is suggested by the poular myth, but actually penned by 80's duo kid 'n play, and through clever media manipulation magaed to convince people it was a piece of old folk music thus giving them access to a wider audience.

next... house parties

Phospherescence or phospher-escence is an old fragrance created by the French fudge lover, Jean Paul Gautier. It was a chance meeting in a nightclub with a soot covered Fred Dibnah (Rip)that led to the formulation of this concoction
The toxic smell and flouresent glow made Fred more visible and recognisable in nightclubs.
It has also transformed the lives of many south London KFC workers, where waiting for nighbuses was in vain until dusk broke.

Next ......... Spontaneous combustion.

Plan B was a hit for beardy, beret wearing and sometime cross dressing popsters 'Dexys Midnight Runners' who were actually named after lead singers Kenny Rowlands' uncle Dereks experiments with nocturnal vegetables.

Next: Jiffy Lemons

The longest legal cas ein British history "resides" in the Court of Appeal. In 1741, a Mr Q. Quagga had recourse to the Court of Appeal but the Court found the original decision sound. Quagga then appealed that the Court of Appeal should not have the power to rule over every appeal.

Unfortunately, the body who would deal with the appeal would be the Court of Appeal. The House of Lords was inquorate at the time (Goodwood week) and so the court had no option but to refer it back to itself. Unfortunately, this created a paradox in what is now known as the Cyclical Case and as such, it is traditional to refer the appeal back to itself on every second Tuesday of the month in perpetuity.

Mr Q. Quagga died in 1743.

Next: Tony Monopoly

Going Strong!

Golf crowds at the Majors are caused by massive herds of panicking sheep stuck together by the velcro effect.

Next: Symbiosis