We want to share an important update with our Betfair Community users.
Over the coming months, the Betfair Community platform will be winding down. The final active day for the platform will be December 21st. From December 22nd, users will no longer be able to access the platform.
Your discussions, insights, engagement, and, most importantly, feedback have helped shape the platform and guided innovation. Your feedback continues to be important to us, and we will continue to listen via our dedicated feedback channels, as well as through product testing and innovations.
To share your feedback and experience, visit: https://support.betfair.com/app/home
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..ok ..You didnt give me time to light the lamp before you came along .......
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next ......South Stack Lighthouse
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The South Stack Lighthouse is home to the Uk's only breeding pair of Druids.
Next: Solstices |
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Solstices were the original rave parties and pagans would be left guessing for days as to which stone circle they would be going to to avoid Roman militias
Next: Fern Britton |
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Fern Britton
Married to Phil Vickery, they live in Buckinghamshire with ten-year-old twins Jack and Harry, seven year-old Grace and toddler Winnie. In the little bit of spare time she has Fern has passed her motorbike test and can be spotted around town on her Honda 500cc. Next: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance |
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Zen was the computer on Blakes 7, and stole all his knowledge from Haynes Worskhop Manuals.
Next - The Ides oF March |
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not a good time for Ceasar, with all his buddies crowding round to staqb him in the back....
...next; Bournemouth beach |
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The only attempted Nazi invasion of England was repelled at Bournmouth Beach in November 1940. Although the more orthodox beach defences were breached, and the Home Guard pinned down, recent documents declassified under the sixty-year rule reveal that Churchill personally ordered that the "promenade line" be held to the last man (or woman). This defence, comprising old people sat resolutely under tartan blankets clutching thermos flasks and staring out to sea, managed to hold back the baffled German war machine until bad weather forced the remainder of the assault fleet to turn back.
To this day, the descendents of the "doddery old b*ggers" - as they affectionately came to be known - can be seen holding those same positions on winter afternoons: just in case the**has another pop. Churchill's order to use Mustard Gas as a last resort never had to be carried out. Next: Church bells. |
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Both Quasimo and his brother were bell ringers:
Quasi actualled died when he banged his head on a church bell and fell 100ft from a bell tower. Hence the expression "his face rings a bell". His brother then replaced him but the same fate also became of him on his second day when he also fell from the tower. Nobody on the ground knew who he was until one onlooker recognised his and commented he was a "dead ringer for hios brother". Next: Charlotte Church |
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Charlotte Church is the main church in North Carolina. It is famous for its stained glass, its choir and its sensational puppy show.
Next: Roedean |
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Roedean is an all totty school on the cliffs at Brighton, and while it looks nice, it actually sits on giant rollers. Those girls that do not qualify academically, or as top Sussex totty of the future, may still be accepted as long as they have a muscular physique. When normal state schools are enjoying a six week break, these butch type girlies get the task of moving the whole school back 10 yards to get away from the crumblng cliff. At current rates of erosion it is expected to have a London address by the year 3442.
Next : Pevensey Castle |
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Pevensey Castle is the 54th best castle in Britain and is open at 10 am this morning...entry is 2.50..unfortunately it has yet to acquire a tea room but commemorative mugs and pencil rubbers are available
next: The Holy Roman Empire |
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The Holy Roman Empire is a unit of sound pressure measuring +118db. One Holy Roman Empire is equivalent to 8 Macedonian Dynastys. One Macedonian Dynasty is equivalent to 8 Lulus. Suffice to say prolonged exposure to The Holy Roman Empire will cause permanent hearing loss.
Next: overdubbing. |
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Due to a throat infection which caused him to lose his voice, Michael Caine was on the verge of standing down for the lead role in The Italian Job. He was finally persuaded to play the part when he heard that the late, great, Arthur Mullard had been selected to overdub his dialogue. Not a lot of people know that.
Next: Mini Coopers |
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The 'Mini Coopers' were a collective of dwarves in medieval England who made the most sought after barrels of their day. However their power grew too much in time and King Henry VIII eventually dissolved the order although it is believed that members of this clandestine group still preside to this day
Next Tagines |
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Bonsai Tangerines
next: Lemons |
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Both lemons and teeth were used as currency in the American deep south up until the early seventies.
Next: Ocean Finance |
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Try and borrow 30,000 - no problem. But ask them for a tenner until you get you giro on Friday and it's a different story.
Next: 12.9% APR. |
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About 8:55 pm last Sunday
Next: Clever clogs |
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very good Stevie.
'Clever Clogs' were an invention patented by Wilhelmina Van Nistelroy in 1938. The footware contained a small, and extremely primitive computer which could answer simple questions with 'Yes' 'No' 'Maybe' 'Could happen' and 'Who's to say' etc. They were discontinued after replying to the question 'Is Hitler about to invade?' with 'the answer lies in your heart'. Next: those fortune telling fish that you get in xmas crackers. |
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Those fortune telling fish that you get in christmas crackers (cheap ones) are nowadays a see through reddish type colour, originally they were gold but as everyone knows goldfish have got shocking memories and quite frankly couldn't tell the time let alone your fortune.
Next: Elephants |
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I was chatting to Groucho Marx at the zoo when a large grey animal walked by.
I asked him ' What's that ? ' he said ' It's irrelevant .' Next : Harpo Marx |
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Harpo was called thus because of the delight he took in playing with his harp. Although the silent Marx brother, he still enjoyed more film roles than his brother, Testicleso Marx
Next: Testicles. |
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Some Romans thought that Testicles was a brilliant orator but many others thought he talked complete balls....
next: King Prawn Vindaloo |
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King Prawn Vindaloo ruled Alexandria from 932-987. His cresst, featuring a bottle of Elephant Beer and a toilet roll, can still be seen on many of the older buildings.
Next: Pinkos. |
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Pinkos is the greek word for pink-fact. Other greek translations include 'taxios'(taxi), 'beeros'(beer) and 'baros' (wasteful man).
Next: Liverpool FC |
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lol & thedon
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@ not &
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Ronnie Rosenthal, Liverpool's second worst player (after David "Oh my God Kenny what are you thinking of, you were a great player but now you've lost it, completely lost it, he's a pint-sized thug" Speedie) is the son of Jim Rosenthal.
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Jim Rosenthal gave up a lucrative career playing the count in Sesame Street to be the anchor man for F1, But if you listen very carefully you can sometimes hear him counting of the laps in the background.
Next Edible Underwear |
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In 1972, the Department of Health, under Ted Heath, introduced the concept of "food groups" to educate the nation on the importance of healthy eating.
Early White Papers on the subject called for the naming of five main food groups: Protein; Fat; Carbohydrate; Dietary Fibre; and Edible Underwear. However, when the proposals were finally implemented in June 1973, the last of these had inexplicably been dropped. Next: Farnborough Town FC |
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European Cup Winners in 2014, beating Leyton Orient 3 - 1 in the final at Milton Keynes. All the more remarkable as they played the final with only 9 men for the whole of the second half.
Next: Nostradamous |
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Nostradamus (1503-1566) is famous for making dodgy predictions in the form of four-line verses called "quatrains".
A little-known quatrain penned in 1554 reads thus: Worldy connected, seen by light Windows of blue and rose invite; Sinners seeking base emotion End in debt to lenders Ocean. This is believed by some experts to foreshadow the invention of Betfair. Next: Moss Bros. |
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Nostradamus was not able to predict the future at all. He made his 'predictions' after time travelling, and actually gave H.G.Wells the idea for his first novel.
Next : Rose Tyler |
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SH!T
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SH!T is a commonly used expression on moderated message boards, as the writer believes that by replacing one letter of a common obscenity with a punctuation mark, they will avoid the wrath of the censor.
They are, of course, wrong. Next: Rose Tyler :) |
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The first child in history to be born to 2 male parents, Rose is the daughter of Martin (works in sports broadcasting) and Steven(has his own band). Stories that she has a sister called Ruth (Roof) are just a rubbish attempt at a joke.
Next: Andy Gray |
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Description given to dodgy nag being tipped by London gambler. Nevers wins by a head.
Next: Plates of meat |
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Despite plates of meat being**ney rhyming slang for David Pleat, few people know that according to ancient law it is illegal for any former Spurs managers to eat meat from a plate, an offence punishable by death.
Next: Sideburns |
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Sideburns are rarely as severe as Frontburns but can still cause a lot of pain.
Next: Piccalilli |