Piccalilli distinctive yellow colour is also used for the Monopoly property of the same name.

Next: Whitechapel

'Whitechapel' and 'Booties' are Charles and Camilla's pet names for each other. Or is it Ken and Deirdre? I forget.

Next: Coronation Street

Best known as a former member of 90's boy band East 17, few realise that Gary also invented clowns when in his teens, and makes at least 10p commision every time a circus holds a show.


Next: Lion tamers

When global warming and rising sea levels lead to a massive food crisis, and we are all living on boats as there is no more land, it will be a lucky man who can produce from his rucksack a jar of potted shrimp.

Next: Windsurfing

Was also his wife ...

Next: Buddha

Early drafts for the tv show included plans for the Mastermind chair to be wired up to the mains with Magnus Magnussssson flipping the switch every time a contestant passed and laughing manically - in a count dracula style. Many still believe it was a missed opportunity.

Next: Mopeds

Inflatable life rafts come only in one colour and were responsible for the famous saying by their pioneer, Henry Inflatableliferaft 'You can have it in any colour, as long as it's orange'.

Next: Lemons

The phrase "Most Unseemly" has never appeared in The Beano.

Next: Pals

Actually killed James Bond in the film and got away with all his crimes to live a life of luxury in retirement in Barbados. But the British Government forced the film makers to change the storyline as it was felt that the demise of 007 was against the national interest. The correct version of events will be available to view in the cinemas in 2019 under the 30 year rule.

Next: Moneypenny

oh **** = s word rhymes with hut

The collective noun for this particular specimen is a covert of coots. They urinate every four minutes and suffer from almost permanent hiccups (especially the Belgian ones).

Next: banal

Princess Michael of Kent is like the Holy Roman Empire in that she is neither a Princess, nor called called Michael, nor from Kent. The Holy Roman Empire of course, is also neither a Princess, nor called called Michael, nor from Kent.

Next: Romans

It is illegal to play bagpipes in Kingston after 11 p.m., although it is generally ackonwledged that midnight bagpipe enthusiasts are marginally more popular than estate agents.

Next: Pushy people

There are more adverts on the BBC than any other channel. They are all for other BBC programmes, except the ones that are trying to sell you BBC merchandise.

Next: Radio 4

Crystal Sets was the stage name of the world's first porn star, one Norma Funklehorm, from Madison, Wisconsin.

Next: DVDA

California is a precarious state in the USA on the line of the San Andreas Fault. San Andreas is actually a corruption of St Andrews, and the Fault is directly attributable to the US propensity of building too many golf courses that, rather than test the golfer, are in fact like target practice.

Next: Merryandrew

A portmanteau word, meaning to rue a particular occurence, while at the same time being happy that it is taking place. Similar to "You'll regret it in the morning".

Next: The Rules of Mornington Crescent

The Rules of Mornington Crescent are, oddly for radio, not available in braille or large script.

There is, however, a Tagalog version.

Next: Wakefield Trinity

The well known sporting venue, Wembley Stadium, has recently been dogged by problems, not least its total destruction and replacement with a design that appears to have been modelled on a Superdrug shopping basket.

Next: Superdrug.

Poisoned Arrows



In the Asian department's Indian and South East Asian collection, some innocuous looking arrows hold a potentially lethal secret. In 1880, the Ethnographic collections of the former East India Company were transferred to the South Kensington Museum (later to become the Victoria and Albert Museum). Among the collection were two sets of arrows, one from Assam, and one used by the Karen people of Burma.

A reference in an early catalogue to them being poisoned prompted an enquiry to the Department of Economic Botany at Kew. The response that came back was alarming. Residues of the toxin may persist depending on the viscosity of the poison on application. Studies on toxicity carried out on behalf of the Pitt Rivers Museum revealed that the longevity of these toxins was considerable (up to 1300 years!)



The eight short arrows from Assam are unremarkable, little more than cane kebab sticks with small palm leaf flights. They may have been made for a short bow or even a crossbow. The toxin appears as a desiccated greyish paste located behind the sharpened point. The Karen arrow is one of a set of more conventional looking arrows with barbed, iron heads.



Poisoned arrows are used widely throughout the jungles of Assam, Burma and Malaysia. The principal sources of arrow poison are varieties of Antiaris, Strychnos and Strophanthus. Antiaris toxicaria for example, is a tree of the mulberry and breadfruit family, common in Java and the neighbouring islands. The active agents in all of these are either contained within the milky sap or the juice of crushed seeds. This is smeared behind the arrow point on its own or mixed with another plant latex.

Poison arrows:

When introduced into the bloodstream the active ingredient (either antiarin, strychnine or strophanthin depending on the species) acts quickly attacking the central nervous system causing paralysis, convulsions and cardiac failure. Game wounded by such an arrow is said to be rarely capable of moving 100 metres. The prey can be eaten quite safely afterwards. This makes it an essential tool for hunting elusive game in the dense jungle canopy.

These arrows are just a small fraction of the V&A's extensive collection of 3500 pieces of Arms and Armour from India and South East Asia, some 40% of which originates from the East India Company transfer in 1880. The majority of this collection is in storage and is available for viewing by appointment.

next: FORCED Rhubarb