u mean whos up in her?

A good catch well done Mansfieldtoon

mansfieldtoon's had a terrible nightmare last night

He was flipping through the photo album with pictures of him having a great time together with his girlfriend. He was happy, smiling even. When suddenly a giant duck with colossal genitals and a deep Elvis-like voice appeared in front of him.

Giant Duck: Well, can you live with it?

mansfieldtoon: What?

Giant Duck: I said can you live with it?

mansfieldtoon: Live with what?

Giant Duck: That son of a ** Calvin walking around schtooping the same girl as you. Getting away with it every day.

Are you haunted?

mansfieldtoon: Yeah.

Giant Duck: You want to get un-haunted?

mansfieldtoon: Oh, yeah.

Giant Duck: Well, l'd kill him. Shoot him in the face. Put him down like a dog.

mansfieldtoon: I can't believe what you're saying.

Giant Duck: I'm not saying nothing. I's just saying what I'd do after my daily recreational swim and eating those bread crumbs in the lake.

mansfieldtoon:You'd do that?

Giant Duck: The ** don't deserve to live. Doesn't it make you sick to think she was getting fingered against the pub wall. Why did she have to have a bath right away? And the battery situation? Give me a **ing break. Where are your **ing BULLOCKS? Odds-on they filled every available orifice. Act now or you're once again a complete laughing stock!

mansfieldtoon: Look, this is haunting me, you know. I want to kill him, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail.

Giant Duck: Hey man, I don't blame you. Lived in a tiny duck pond for many years. Never let a hen play away from home though.

mansfieldtoon: If I thought I'd get away with it...

Giant Duck: Get away with it? Killing is the hard part. Getting away with it, that's easy. You think anybody gives a ** about a Calvinator?

Listen.

Every Calvinator in the world could get shot. Two in the back of the **ing head. Cops would throw a party, man. As long as you don't mention anything in the Betfair forum...

...you'll get away with it.

mansfieltoon, I like you.

Always have, always will.

Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:15
I MIGHT GO AND FEED THE DUCKS,I WOULD LIKE TO FEED THE PENQUINS BUT THERES NONE NEAR ME




norville rogers 24 May 20:16
buy some from tescos and give em some bread




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:19
I DONT FEED THE DUCKS BREAD,I FEED THEM DUCK FOOD FROM DUCKS ARE US,




norville rogers 24 May 20:19
talkin about penguins




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:21
THEY DONT SELL PENGUIN FOOD FOR PENGUINS AT DUCKS FOR US,THEY SPECIALIZE IN DUCKS,




BJG 24 May 20:24
They're racist against penguins imo




norville rogers 24 May 20:24
pack of 6 penguins.fish counter, ur laughing




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:24
SORRY IM ON THE WRONG FORUM THIS IS THE HORSE FORUM,I WILL HAVE TO LOOK FOR THE DUCK FORUM SORRY




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:26
THERES NO DUCK FORUM,I BET IF THEY RACED THEM THERE WOULD BE A DUCK FORUM




Billy77 24 May 20:26
cricket forum imo.




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:29
PEOPLE ON HERE SAY THERE INTERESTED IN HORSES,THEY TELL FIBS THERE ONLY INTERESTED IN BETTING,IF THERE WAS PENGUIN RACEING THEY WOULD SAY ,PENNY THE PENQUIN IS THE BEST 2 YEAR OLD IN THE WORLD,

AND THEN SOMEONE WOULD SAY NO PERCY THE PENQUIN IS THE BEST 2 YEAR OLD PENQUIN IN THE WORLD


AND THEN THEY WOULD SAY DONT TALK ASBOUT DUCKS ON THE PENQUIN FORUM




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:32
PEOPLE ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN HORSES SO THEY CAN BET,IF THEY WERE INTERESTED IN ANIMALS THERE WOULD BE A TIGER FORUM,AND AN ELEPHANT FORUM,AND A QUALA BEAR FORUM,NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THEM BECAUSE YOU CANT GAMBLE ON THEM




Billy77 24 May 20:33
do wah diddy = future dragons den contestant.




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:34
BILLY DONT BE A HERO ,DONT BE A FOOL WITH YOUR LIFE




annie. 24 May 20:34





Billy77 24 May 20:35
its these paper laces.




sofiakenny 24 May 20:36
Do wah....you certainly know what you are speaking about...if you stood for parliament i would vote Diddy.




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:37
YES CARLO SANTANA WAS THE LEAD SINGER I SEEN HIM IN BLACKPOOL ,AFTER ID BEEN IN THE TOWER BALLROOM LISTENING TO THE ORGAN PLAYING




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:40
NO I WOULD BE IN THE PAPERS ,CLAIMING FOR MY RACEING POST,AND TELSTAR SATELLIOTE DISH TO GET FAST PICTURES ON MY EXPENSIVES,PEOPLE WOULD WANT TO TALK TO MEWHILE THE HORSE RACEING WAS ON,THEY WOULD GET UPSET ESPECIALLY WHEN NIGHT RACEING WAS ON ,I COULDNT FIT THEM IN THOSE DAYS




spyker 24 May 20:46
It's going to rain tomorrow anyway so you won't get the chance to feed the penguins to the ducks old bean.




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:50
I DONT GIVE UP THAT EASILY,IVE GOT A BIG UMBRELLA,IVE HAD LESSONS IN HOLDING THE UMBERELLA WITH ONE HAND AND HOLDING DUCK FOOD WITH THE OTHER,I CAN USE EITHER HAND TO HOLD THE UMBERELA,AND I CAN USE EITHER HAND TO HOLD THE DUCK FOOD,I CAN ALSO SING THE BIRDEE SONG WHILE IM DOING IT,NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBE IF YOUVE GOT HIGH HOPES




BJG 24 May 20:52
good to see the dedication diddy don't let a little rain stop you!




Do wah Diddy 24 May 20:53
BJG LIKE DAVID COPPERFIELD SAID YOUR A CAPITAL FELLOW




spyker 24 May 21:15
I CAN ALSO SING THE BIRDEE SONG WHILE IM DOING IT,

It's not allowed to do the Birdie song without doing the actions.........




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:20
ITS NOT THAT BIRDIE SONG DIDNT YOU NOTICE THE SPELLING ITS HOW MUCH IS THAT BIRDEE IN THE WATER ,THE ONE WITH THE WAGILEE TAIL




spyker 24 May 21:23
I do apologise but doesn't that have actions as well?




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:24
NO ITS A BALLARD YOU SING IT WITH EMOTION




general custer 24 May 21:25
good evening diddy




Billy77 24 May 21:27
who's emotion?




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:27
CUSTER,I THOUGHT YOUD BEEN TAKEN PRISONER ,IVE NOT HERD FROM YOU OR BIG CHIEF BULLSEYE FOR AGES




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:28
BILLY YOE SING IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART WITH EMOTION




general custer 24 May 21:28
i though you were broon breed




Billy77 24 May 21:29
what do you call a duck with one wing?























a handi-quack.




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:42
BILLY YOUR QUACKERS




Do wah Diddy 24 May 21:46
CUSTER YOULL KNOW WHEN IM DEAD,IVE SENT MY AUTOGRAPHED PHOTOGRAPH OF ROY ROGERS TO BETFAIR,AND TOLD THEM THAT IF I DONT HAVE A BET ON ANY DAY,THELL KNOW IM DEAD AND SEND YOU THE PHOTO




general custer 24 May 21:49
thanks diddy m8




tommee 24 May 22:07
pure class do wah

i hope general custer never gets roy rogers photo




Do wah Diddy 24 May 22:18
IVE GOT LOADS MORE,IM GOOD AT WRITEING ROYS SIGNITURE




Do wah Diddy 24 May 22:19
IM GOING TO DO SOME PAUL MCKARTNEY ONESWHEN I BUY A DICSIONARY

good evening ;)

Of course, it was.

(Head in hands.)

Just keep dropping a bit of bread. She'll soon be eating out of your hand. :D

wot age is she mansfield?

MT. I got lost in the complexities of the different posts. Was she 'having it off' with this fellla, or not? Did you speak to Sophie? Alone.

I think this was perhaps the first step in us getting back together?


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

NO.

good thread . great read

all absolute boll0x btw, butr a great read.

well posted folks..

LMAO

What';s wrong with that? She's 22 stone! :D

20 stone?!?!??!! Better not have the plum sauce with those crispy duck pancakes then, and to be fair she probably swallowed gallons of the stuff last weekend.

Will you be my agent Madam? If anyone is going to take advantage of me, then I'd like it to be you ;)

if she's had her stitches taken out from last weekend

LMFAO

Oi he is mine. :x

him crisp77 & infomaniac make me laugh.

delz 23 Aug 21:40


Of course, it was.

(Head in hands.)


:^0 :^0 :^0

brilliant!

So let me get this thread right.

Fella gets pussy whipped and then bends over waiting for the strap on to come out?

No wonder this country is going to the dogs.

Rubbish - it's a veritable modern day Gone With The Wind.