You sound suicidal to me.

http://www.maytree.org.uk/need-help.php

If it's that bad then just slit your wrists and be done with it.

I'm guessing you won't though as you would have done it already and wouldn't be attention seeking on a betting forum!

37 almost 38 steamship
everything i've ever experienced makes me cynical
The government especially , the world of work is to keep the top part comfortable & sod the rest imo
so what chance have i got

I’m convinced you’d benefit from reading and using the simple techniques from a book called Vaporize Your Anxiety by Tom Stone. I think you’d recognize your problems are probably fear based and you’d be able to show yourself in 2 or 3 minutes that you don’t have to carry them round with you and can let them go so easily. It is like a weight is lifted from you. If you only ever by one more self help book make it that one.

not really depression Angel though my dad has a few 'mental issues' which i feel he's passed onto me
he's a good guy at heart but has always struggled a bit himself & tried to strangle me years ago

I've been depressed for at least ten + years in reality , i thought if i made some decent money my life might improve with it , but it doesn't does it , now i'm just depressed with money to live on & nobody to fall back on

It's not so much money lost it's not a lot by my standards i don't care about the money too much
I'm just sick of 'Surviving' .... if all life is is Survival then i've had enough of it alone

*kind

Thanks Slippy Patra & Ovalman

I wish jetting off on a holiday would help me , but i have too many problems here & is no fun on your own anyway , i can't even get my passport signed as i don't know anybody here at all

I enjoyed chatting Ovalman & glad if i helped somewhat (and sorry if i got a bit animated) but like people tell me you just have to get out there and do it , don't fear them they're mainly donks but will walk all over you if you let them , you need a certain fear factor at your level to be respected then profits will start to come easier , but you need to aim a bit higher

I'll watch the link later thanks!

Samaritans ..  08457 909090

Volunteering  .... http://www.do-it.org.uk/

How do you know its very hard?  I doubt you've tried a fig.

I was very much like you Moonbeam when it came to playing poker. I had no poker friends. It was just a means of making money. The first month I played poker I lost but after that I had not another losing month in 5 years. It would have been nice to have at least one friend who played poker but I found poker players not the kind of gamblers I have much in common with. Its good to be good at something but its nicer to be nice. I found a lot of winning poker pokers liked to put other players down which I never liked.   

I stopped playing poker after I hit a run of about 6 straight losing months. They were not big losing months in money terms ( just the wrong side of breaking even ) but even breaking even is losing if your playing lots of hours a week and you value your time as a commodity. To be honest the players were just getting a lot better. I decided to take a complete break with the intention of playing again albeit with new much lower targets of making money.

But I have not played since. I concentrated on other ways of making money which so far has been successful. I am sure I could still win at poker but I am equally sure I could never win as much I used to.

Thanks mate
it's nice to know there are others like me as it's a very closed & isolated world to live in by yourself
I've always been a big gambler in comparison to others around me & was serious about making some decent money , i'm very competitive in that sense & always wanted to become a professional gambler
but friends/family etc don't really understand how serious you are about it all & it makes you an outcast from society

It would have been nice to have at least one friend who played poker but I found poker players not the kind of gamblers I have much in common with. Its good to be good at something but its nicer to be nice.

So true mate

I've spoken to a fair few over the years but never in much depth , i remember you from the poker forum i used to post on there a fair bit , i never liked 2p2 either as like you i'm not keen on all the bravado & putting other down , i'm a nice guy that keeps myself to myself , but poker's quite the opposite environment & that's partly that's gotten me down along the way , even in the good times i had nobody to share my achievement with though it would've been nice .

The guys that put you down usually aren't as good as you & the better players will rarely want to talk

I don't think much of other players tbh & are quite sad , angry & greedy individuals , and some hunt in groups & packs just like wild animals

I was always serious about the money as i needed it to get on with my life , but i've just lost all enthusiasm nowadays 

I still make a bit each month though the downsings are more frequent & the upswings few & far between , it's very much a red line your constantly battling against & if it wasn't for r^keback i doubt i'd lay at all now

Gambling is just a bad habit to me now. I am just going through the motions. The buzz I used to get at the dogs or the races is just not there any more.

liam1982 28 Oct 13 13:02 
ive changed my style now.

I have around 8k in my betfair, at one point my aim was to make big money, now my aim is £200 a week, which you can usually do quite comfortably.

Every sunday ill withdraw £200 and leave 8k in for the next week, it means I don't have to work for a living and im happy with that




Do you fancy becoming my financial advisor? How on earth can you survive on £200 a week. How much is your rent/mortgage a month?

xmoneyx 29 Oct 13 15:17 
minimum wage £6.31 x 40  =  £252.40 before tax


+ commuting time and costs and they wonder why people opt to live on benefits

rent
coucil tax
water bill
electric bill
gas bill
mobile phone
landline phone
food
travel cost
broadband
tv license

What you are left with after working minimum wage 40 hours a week is less than what JSA offer, who also pay you housing benefit, the week is a helluva lot stressful too, working hard all day will take years of people in the end.

no point criticising people on the dole when they are the smart ones who can work this out.

Cheers guys
I know i'm still relatively young but that's what depresses me so much as i can't see any decent future for myself now & don't like things the way they are (i can't live like this for another 30 years)
I've been to the doctor today & he says all the health problems i've had lately (Remember i said i had invisible bugs in my flat) are caused by a bout of intense stress (moving , worrying , losing etc)
I need to calm down a bit , he said i could talk to somebody if i need to but not sure it will help (problems are problems)  but i feel slightly better just knowing it's all down to the stress now & i'm not dying or going insane



xmoneyx 29 Oct 13 15:17
minimum wage £6.31 x 40  =  £252.40 before tax

+ commuting time and costs and they wonder why people opt to live on benefits Crazy

exactly & is also the reason i've played poker for so long with no other options , that's what gets me down i've tried my best & end up feeling worse than somebody on the dole
I'm also single so won't exactly be leaving my lot to my kids when i'm older , so what really is the point in it all

that's actually very true ThinandCrispy
people may call me lazy but i'm not , i just couldn't imagine working a dull 9-5 job now it'd probably kill me , so i either like it or lump it , or improve in other ways
it's definitely gambling that gets me down as i'm never contributing anything (i do like people , but many peoples jobs are soo boring) but it's also the loneliness i've created by doing it all makes me sad

It's actually harder for me as i'm not desperate for the job like so many others right now , i'd be competing for deadend minimum wage jobs

I had my car battery changed earlier , he charged me £5 for checking & fitting it for me & i couldn't help thinking i'm glad i don't do that all day long