I'm so fed up with Gambling

Petrus Romanus
     28 Oct 13 05:17

Cry me a fecking river. Stop whining and get off your arse and make something happen. I'm 53 yrs old. I started an apprenticeship 10 days ago because my situation was ****. I moved 1000 miles away from my family to do this. You have no excuses.


UK is 837 miles long so you went to france?

Actually I screwed up...I moved 2175 miles (just checked it out). I live in Canada...moved from Ontario to Alberta.

an easy mistake to make

On the subject of poker I came up with a great idea a long time ago which I am surprised no poker site has ever adopted.

It only applies to cash games. When players are all in every player who is all in can click a button to split the pot there and then based on how much equity they have in the pot at that time. Obviously every player who is all in needs to agree to the same thing or there is no deal. No more need for any bad beats. You get paid on who well you played the hand to the point there is no more betting.

What are your other interests?
You need to get out and meet people, with Christmas coming there will be some more jobs albeit crappy ones, but you will meet people.
I am self employed and probably spend 25% of my time with clients and the rest of the time on my own doing paperwork or on here, my daughter's is in Australia I have no partner but a good mum and siblings and a great dog.
I plan in 2014 to get anothert job that will give me satisfaction rather than worry about money.

You can do it MC (if you have your health)and the majority of people are decent(ie this thread) you just need to meet them.

Nobody likes losing and it drags you down

"its not what you do when your winning its what you do when your losing"

Why not just tell him to cheer up.

Ron with respect to you, I think McM has got far more serious issues than giving him a pat on the back and saying "chin up mate."

When it isn`t happening have break for a week,works for me.

thought you were meant to digdeep

Moon - you seem to be very like my best mate. He has been depressed for quite a while, all different factors - no job, so therefore no money, divorce etc. I have given him some advice over the years, but although he agrees they are good ideas logically, he is so stuck in a cycle that nothing improves. If you can just take the smallest step to change things, however small it may seem then you can break the cycle you find yourself stuck in. Of course, as some other posters have said seeing a professional would be a great help. Combine that with things you can do yourself and you may see things improve immensely. Things are never as bad as they seem, our minds cloud our judgment. Good luck!

Hi Hank

How is your young lad doing? most of us only count out lucky stars when we see someone else not so fortunate. From what you told me before your lad seems one tough cookie.

Thanks for all your replies guys
It's amazing how accurate you all are & seem to understand a lot more so than any stranger would you guys are like friends to me in that regard so Thanks

You need to add something which is worthwhile in your life. My guess is that you don`t have close family, no kids and no love in your life. Your self esteem never receives any positive recognition unless it`s you feeling good about a good run on your trading/poker.

Yes you're very right Angel , No i have nothing worthwhile in my life at all

You don`t know were to start to change things. One step is followed by another Moonbeam, if you can be self sufficient financially then realise that this is one of life`s comforts because millions of others are staring at a big clock on a wall for 8 hours a day wishing they were elsewhere.

Yes that's some small consolation , but at least they have homes, families & Lives to return to


If you don't look forward to other things than gambling you might as well be betting with peanuts because money is a useless currency for you if don't use it for other things which give you enjoyment and all you do with it is gamble.

Exactly paddletoe  , and what point is there wasting my life even further trying to better myself again when i don't enjoy anything

You must have some other interests and dreams. Don't waste away your life with gambling as its obviously making you unhappy.

Not really , i used to , i like art & love nature/animals etc but my interests were more like watching the stock market & housing market & trying not to end up homeless

Chinese New Year is January 31st. McM, get yourself booked up to go to somewhere like Phuket and enjoy yourself for a few weeks. I'm worried about you mate.

It's amazing how accurate you all are & seem to understand a lot more so than any stranger would...

Nobody can understand another gamblers mindset like other gamblers. I played poker non stop for a long time and it was doing me in.
Book a holiday McM, get a suntan, shag a few birds and come back fighting fit next year

Perhaps there is an element of cabin fever going on here Moonbeam, how often do you actually leave your flat and walk the streets? when do you prefer to do your food shopping? night or day?

Cheers for your replies Coach!

other than that you have to listen to what the other folks say on here and enjoy what you have got .

maybe now you own the place youre in apply for a normal job , just do 20 hours a week  and give up the poker .


you should only need 200 a week to survive with no mortgage and that will be tax free .Wink


make sure your property is somewhere nice ,consider moving ! yopu cvan buy cheap places in fairly nice (not expensive and pretentious)areas if you are canny


I know it's not easy it hasn't been for a long time now , poker's diminished just the same over the last couple of years as paddletoe etc knows , though i can still pay bills etc , as  others like liam say sometimes you have to be happy at that

I'm glad for what i have made but as you say i should have a nice property in a nice area instead of a cheap(overpriced flat) & work from there as i'd feel a lot better about myself for it


Clydebank is pretty much spot on also


It's hard to give advice when your personal circumstances are complex, unknown and unique to you.  Speak to your doctor, ring the Samaritans, look for some charity work, buy a bike and get some exercise, enroll on a course, go on a working holiday.  You need to do something to kick start it, even if it's something small it will at least get you in motion.  I'd say you should probably quit gambling

Maybe you need to spend all your cash (as wisely as possible) and claim benefits.  At least then the government will give you some help.

Talking about the stockmarket,that Brazilian multi billionaire declared himself bankrupt today,two years after he built the oil terminals,only prob was he built them and then failed to discover oil

Yes Angel i'm like a shadow nowadays , i very rarely go out & go to the shops in quick bursts usually late at night
I've been so fed up today (have an ear infection) that i've slept on the sofa all night until 9pm

You sound suicidal to me.

http://www.maytree.org.uk/need-help.php

I used to be a smart guy that took the world on all by myself , i was interested in the world , people & everything about it , i saw it all as a challenge to learn & progress & a challenge all alone ..

but now i'm just disheartened by the world , society & people in general , and have no interest to learn about anything else at all , why would i if the world's so cr^p , why would i contribute to more cr^p

My sisters all up for stuff like that , took years to do an Art degree whilst working , but what will she ever get out of it ( i'm far too cynical like that)  i just want to see cash in my bank

If it's that bad then just slit your wrists and be done with it.

I'm guessing you won't though as you would have done it already and wouldn't be attention seeking on a betting forum!

How old are you MC?
What happened to make you so cynical and miserable?

Sorry to be nosey

37 almost 38 steamship
everything i've ever experienced makes me cynical
The government especially , the world of work is to keep the top part comfortable & sod the rest imo
so what chance have i got

Anyone else in your family with depression or other emotional/mental issues Moonbeam?

By the way cynics are just disappointed idealists. You seem severly depressed pal. How much have you lost recently?

I’m convinced you’d benefit from reading and using the simple techniques from a book called Vaporize Your Anxiety by Tom Stone. I think you’d recognize your problems are probably fear based and you’d be able to show yourself in 2 or 3 minutes that you don’t have to carry them round with you and can let them go so easily. It is like a weight is lifted from you. If you only ever by one more self help book make it that one.

38 is not old you could make a lot of important changes to benefit your life.

Why worry about the Government, you cannot change major things except in your life .

Im gonna look at that book FlowerMyth

not really depression Angel though my dad has a few 'mental issues' which i feel he's passed onto me
he's a good guy at heart but has always struggled a bit himself & tried to strangle me years ago

I've been depressed for at least ten + years in reality , i thought if i made some decent money my life might improve with it , but it doesn't does it , now i'm just depressed with money to live on & nobody to fall back on

It's not so much money lost it's not a lot by my standards i don't care about the money too much
I'm just sick of 'Surviving' .... if all life is is Survival then i've had enough of it alone

Pull your M&S socks up you whinging ponce and get a reality check, your a 'my glass is half full of pimms' king of guy, yes?

*kind

ponce lol, he makes a living gambling not claiming dole money you clown

Thanks Slippy Patra & Ovalman

I wish jetting off on a holiday would help me , but i have too many problems here & is no fun on your own anyway , i can't even get my passport signed as i don't know anybody here at all

I enjoyed chatting Ovalman & glad if i helped somewhat (and sorry if i got a bit animated) but like people tell me you just have to get out there and do it , don't fear them they're mainly donks but will walk all over you if you let them , you need a certain fear factor at your level to be respected then profits will start to come easier , but you need to aim a bit higher

I'll watch the link later thanks!

I live in the real world GEESUSS , which isn't always very nice

I drink beer & vodka , though drugs would probably be more use to me

Samaritans ..  08457 909090

Volunteering  .... http://www.do-it.org.uk/

the book sounds interesting FlowerMyth

yes i realize my problems are mainly fear based , when i shouldn't really fear as much as i do

it takes a bad situation to force you to make money like i've done , but i'm still stuck in the same mindset

i'll have a look for it thanks

Oct 28, 2013 -- 3:48PM, Zazu wrote:

I think the Self Employed dream is a complete myth for most people because the social element of good work colleagues is vastly underestimated

this is true, I drive a taxi at the minute, ive never felt so bored

Stop gambling being the main focus of your life.  Focus on something else and do the gambling on the side.  Play poker with people rather than online

Oct 29, 2013 -- 12:14AM, Mc Moonbeam wrote:

I live in the real world GEESUSS , which isn't always very nice I drink beer & vodka , though drugs would probably be more use to me

Most people live in the real world mate, stop wallowing in your own self pity, gambling is not your problem, self - isolation is.Try doing something for someone else as Clydebank alludes to........

I don't actually enjoy poker Clydebank , so don't really wish to socialize with other players , it's just a job to me , though more the minimum wage type lately

I wish i could do something else , i have funds & brains but everywhere i look i just see desperation so is very tough to just break out into something new

as Liam says above , i also had a mate that drives Taxis , he loved it when he started £500 week , but he quickly said the good times are over & you just deal with idiots all night long , very much the same as i do

How do you know its very hard?  I doubt you've tried a fig.

Most mates i knew where i moved from were all self employed , not one had a steady job , but if your not trained to do anything nobody wants to help you

It's a bit tough when your almost homeless , self employment doesn't rank high on your list !

I was very much like you Moonbeam when it came to playing poker. I had no poker friends. It was just a means of making money. The first month I played poker I lost but after that I had not another losing month in 5 years. It would have been nice to have at least one friend who played poker but I found poker players not the kind of gamblers I have much in common with. Its good to be good at something but its nicer to be nice. I found a lot of winning poker pokers liked to put other players down which I never liked.   

I stopped playing poker after I hit a run of about 6 straight losing months. They were not big losing months in money terms ( just the wrong side of breaking even ) but even breaking even is losing if your playing lots of hours a week and you value your time as a commodity. To be honest the players were just getting a lot better. I decided to take a complete break with the intention of playing again albeit with new much lower targets of making money.

But I have not played since. I concentrated on other ways of making money which so far has been successful. I am sure I could still win at poker but I am equally sure I could never win as much I used to.

I would say try and find a nice lady to give your life more direction and balance but as long as your gambling and feeling the way you are then that would not be a good idea. At the minute your the only one with the problems. It would be unfair to have anyone else share in those problems.

I could be wrong but after reading a little bit about your history Moonbeam I get the feeling you gamble not for the money but because the money is a score to show that your better at something than others.

Thanks mate
it's nice to know there are others like me as it's a very closed & isolated world to live in by yourself
I've always been a big gambler in comparison to others around me & was serious about making some decent money , i'm very competitive in that sense & always wanted to become a professional gambler
but friends/family etc don't really understand how serious you are about it all & it makes you an outcast from society

It would have been nice to have at least one friend who played poker but I found poker players not the kind of gamblers I have much in common with. Its good to be good at something but its nicer to be nice.

So true mate

I've spoken to a fair few over the years but never in much depth , i remember you from the poker forum i used to post on there a fair bit , i never liked 2p2 either as like you i'm not keen on all the bravado & putting other down , i'm a nice guy that keeps myself to myself , but poker's quite the opposite environment & that's partly that's gotten me down along the way , even in the good times i had nobody to share my achievement with though it would've been nice .

The guys that put you down usually aren't as good as you & the better players will rarely want to talk

I don't think much of other players tbh & are quite sad , angry & greedy individuals , and some hunt in groups & packs just like wild animals

I was always serious about the money as i needed it to get on with my life , but i've just lost all enthusiasm nowadays 

I still make a bit each month though the downsings are more frequent & the upswings few & far between , it's very much a red line your constantly battling against & if it wasn't for r^keback i doubt i'd lay at all now

can i ask when you quit & what you do now instead ?

you're right though you'll never make the money you used to make it's just not there anymore since Black Friday

Have you watched the documentary Bet,Raise,Fold ?

Gambling is just a bad habit to me now. I am just going through the motions. The buzz I used to get at the dogs or the races is just not there any more.

gambling to earn a living is a diff ball game,your reality,is gambling your future,life

38,your much younger than I thought,you can turn things around

even a p/t job is worthwhile

liam1982 28 Oct 13 13:02 
ive changed my style now.

I have around 8k in my betfair, at one point my aim was to make big money, now my aim is £200 a week, which you can usually do quite comfortably.

Every sunday ill withdraw £200 and leave 8k in for the next week, it means I don't have to work for a living and im happy with that




Do you fancy becoming my financial advisor? How on earth can you survive on £200 a week. How much is your rent/mortgage a month?

minimum wage £6.31 x 40  =  £252.40 before tax

xmoneyx 29 Oct 13 15:17 
minimum wage £6.31 x 40  =  £252.40 before tax


+ commuting time and costs and they wonder why people opt to live on benefits

after rent your fooooked

rent
coucil tax
water bill
electric bill
gas bill
mobile phone
landline phone
food
travel cost
broadband
tv license

What you are left with after working minimum wage 40 hours a week is less than what JSA offer, who also pay you housing benefit, the week is a helluva lot stressful too, working hard all day will take years of people in the end.

no point criticising people on the dole when they are the smart ones who can work this out.

Sad thread

you are clearly depressed

but imo you need to get out there and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Join a gym, try and find a job or go on a course

no one can give you the air that's yours to breathe

Cheers guys
I know i'm still relatively young but that's what depresses me so much as i can't see any decent future for myself now & don't like things the way they are (i can't live like this for another 30 years)
I've been to the doctor today & he says all the health problems i've had lately (Remember i said i had invisible bugs in my flat) are caused by a bout of intense stress (moving , worrying , losing etc)
I need to calm down a bit , he said i could talk to somebody if i need to but not sure it will help (problems are problems)  but i feel slightly better just knowing it's all down to the stress now & i'm not dying or going insane



xmoneyx 29 Oct 13 15:17
minimum wage £6.31 x 40  =  £252.40 before tax

+ commuting time and costs and they wonder why people opt to live on benefits Crazy

exactly & is also the reason i've played poker for so long with no other options , that's what gets me down i've tried my best & end up feeling worse than somebody on the dole
I'm also single so won't exactly be leaving my lot to my kids when i'm older , so what really is the point in it all

I'm not one for taking other people's advice but that doesn't stop me giving it.

Mc Moon I think you are comfortably miserable.  By that I mean you are used to it and  even though you don't like it, doing something about it would be more painful than living with the status quo.

Nothing comes from nothing and unless you take some action the situation will just continue and probably get worse.

The thing I am sure of is you need to take a break from gambling in order to gain perspective of your situation.

that's actually very true ThinandCrispy
people may call me lazy but i'm not , i just couldn't imagine working a dull 9-5 job now it'd probably kill me , so i either like it or lump it , or improve in other ways
it's definitely gambling that gets me down as i'm never contributing anything (i do like people , but many peoples jobs are soo boring) but it's also the loneliness i've created by doing it all makes me sad

Nothing wrong with finding the 9-5 life intolerable I'm always surprised more people don't.

It's actually harder for me as i'm not desperate for the job like so many others right now , i'd be competing for deadend minimum wage jobs

I had my car battery changed earlier , he charged me £5 for checking & fitting it for me & i couldn't help thinking i'm glad i don't do that all day long

A very sad thread, and I hope things get a bit better for you Mcm.

I really do think you should pop in to a local pup, stick a pound down on the pool table and play the winner. I always find that a good way to break the ice when I work away.

Beer and Vodka on your own each night will just make things worse imo.

Good luck.

get a dog

it also sounds like your mindset definitely needs changing, not that im one to talk because im the same.
for eg. I think you've reached that stage where u think whatever you do, its all rather pointless anyway, I used to be a church verger and the rector always used to quote me because I moaned about mopping the porch floor because it would only be dirty again afterwards when people return  their tread over it!
if you just continue the way you are, it WILL get worse, you will eventually become, if you haven't already, completely isolated and actually be afraid to venture outside .
you need to be with real people, again, id say its very important to force yourself to do something u enjoy, like an art course, years ago,i enrolled in an evening class and it was one of the most enjoyable nights of my entire week - every week.No use saying whats it all for? just enjoy it for tis own sake, and u may make good friends with ahem!! a lady!

Don't forget to have a larf

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7FcEODeT_o

give a little whistle

some good advice here MC

evening class i a great idea , i did a French class one year even though i hated school ,but made some good friends  and improved my French .

part time job would be another - get one thats part enjoyable even if it  pays rubbish - take a break from gambling -it makes you crazy after a while .

You seem too wrapped up in your own cocoon at the moment, its obvious you  are not going to change the way you get your income that is for sure, but you do need to change other aspects of your life, if your not interested in going to the pub then join a sports facility of some sort maybe something you have not tried before such as Bowls, tennis, table tennis, something that helps keep you a bit fit & gets you interacting with other people.

indeedy - i fit in a game of tennis every sunday now pumpy even though i am missing an english premier league game to bet on .
#

just a case of getting over what some would see as an addiction

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_RZAGnFcI4 

Good for you Coach, I play some sort of sport all year, Bowls in the summer, Table tennis in the winter, most clubs are always looking for people to join, it can become a social thing as well as a sporting one, it can certainly help get someone out of a rut.

...and it keeps you fit and healthy too pumps  - win win

Squash is another good sport pumps and a way to meet new folks as well as getting fit. Pretty much every sports centre with courts will have a league running. You don't need to be that good, just have a vague sense of coordination about you and you can have a good game with players of a similar skill and improve from there.

McM, whatever you decide to do please do something to get you out of this place you have found yourself in as it's far from healthy.

Moon will be back on the thread around 3am

I know Slippy just wish i could have my money back & start again , just another mess i've got myself into , the trouble is i need to find another place even if i sell/rent this

lol Coach i didn't wanna wake up yesterday , have hardly slept again

Your doctor is correct.

Google Side Effects of Stress.it'll scare the sh1t out of you.

As said previously.If you sit on here day after day,there is only one way you're heading.

you wouldn't believe me if i told you seaview , i thought i was going insane

Go for a brisk walk. Pick a circular route about 45 mins.you'll then try and beat the time each go.

I gaurantee you will feel 10x better after a month.less stressful,clearer mind,and will be able to make sensible decisions.

If you dont do this.you will have failed yourself....it costs nothing.

walkings a good shout.

are u saying u lost a considerable amount a money gambling & u don't like the rat race  of a 9-5 job

No it's more i'm losing my sense of reality & am wondering what the point of living is at all

The money's kind of irrelevant , what's the point of working when i'm completely depressed & don't need the money

yes to the walking suggestions, im going out after the match to see waht i can ponce form all the local supermarkets on reduced to clear, takes a good 40 minutes going in and out and all about

Moonbeam what`s your history.

How did you get the money to buy a flat if you have no skills?

through gambling Angel
I went through a fair few bad patches years ago but made good money mainly from poker over the last 5-10 years or so while i lived in a rented room (a depressing life for many years)

I guess as naydam said "i'm not quite cut out for this life yet" 

I seem to make mistakes whatever i try & do but this time i've ended up in a right mess

This is a very sad thread. Young man in the prime of his life, owns his own property, 50k in the bank and obviously intelligent but severely depressed and feeling isolated and lost in life. Hard to evaluate the situation when you don`t know the individual personally, but it seems to me that McM suffers from severe anxiety brought about by low self esteem. Because of this he can`t work (whether for minimum wage or even 15k a week) and probably got stick from family and former friends because of this and called a lazy b******, so he keeps moving and isolates himself to get peace, frightened that new "friends" will eventually form the same opinion, but this actually just aggravates the situation.

I`m glad you finally went to the doctor mate but you should take up his offer and speak to a professional. I wish you well, Dr Mac

moonbeam

When was the last time you were genuinely happy and why ?

The worst thing that you can do when severely depressed is gamble, drink or take drugs and McM admits to doing the lot. He needs to get stop the lot and see a professional counselor.

again you're quite accurate Mac
I guess i do have anxiety problems which have developed over the years but i've never really been fully aware of it , i was quite outgoing & bold when i was younger but i guess i changed in my mid 20's , i had a lot of trouble around that time & stopped going out as much , but then the more people just leave you alone , and kinda turns into a vicious circle , i was never keen on busy nightclubs later on , they made me feel paranoid & isolated , and preferred to stay in a lot more

Friends & Family did think i was lazy , but they never realized how hard i actually worked at everything , it's easy to take a cheap jibe at people but it kinda affects you after a while ... 
I've never actually had a break in life since then , then they get a bit jealous when you've made money (dad attacking me) so yeah i guess i have always wanted away from everything , but in reality i don't , i'm a good person that's misunderstood but i have no interest in making new friends here

I think i do need to talk to somebody as it's quite scary just talking about it all my life was never meant to be like this

I don't take drugs & i don't drink a lot tbh

I like a couple to chill out when stressed that's all & smoke a bit but i'm not drinking tonight

Ayers i don't know when i was last happy it's been so long

Winning doesn't make me happy it's just numbers , if i won a huge amount i'd probably be sad as i have nobody to share it with

although i don't like losing , that's why gambling doesn't suit me any longer it's a no win situation

it worries me talking about it all

a big factor of serious stress is isolation as seaview says by googling it a bit

Mc M, I have sent you my mobile number in a pm, give me a call tomorrow. You have to have a break and take a holiday and stop playing poker for awhile. Having read the thread again I'm very worried about you.

Why Me though .. surely tons of us gamble .. i know a few of you live alone too but may not be isolated .. or doesn't it bother you as much the older you get

When people suffering from anxiety go out socialising, they drink fast and furiously to overcome it. Problem is, the next day when the affects of the alcohol wears off, they become deeply paranoid thinking they may have said something out of place and offended someone or made a complete fool of themselves and this causes severe depression.

Ask your doctor to arrange a meeting with a counselor McM. Don`t worry about talking about it, they are very professional and everything is 100% confidential. You must address this problem NOW. STOP gambling at present and take slippy`s sound advice.

surely it's thread over. the advice is stop gambling it's not good for you as a person... and that you should broaden your horizons and make more of an effort to get out and do and see more.

failing that, just stay in bed giving yourself some dutch ovens all day. you'll get some corkers.

It`s easy for all of us to tell McM to get out more, but this is extremely hard for someone with anxiety to do. However, with professional help it can easily be overcome. All the best McM.

Gambling aside you  seem have become so insular that your confidence  levels outside your own four walls is probably at zero, hence not wanting to go out & mix with the world at large, this sheltered lifestyle has led to  acute depression, this needs to be addressed McM, I hope you take some of the advice offered & seek some help.
I wish you all the best.

>It`s easy for all of us to tell McM

Yeah, it is. But the solutions are in this thread. The bottom line is he needs to step away from gambling all day to earn a survivable income.

Thanks guys

It's not knowing anybody that's the problem , i did have a few good friends where i moved from though i was so caught up with everything i lost touch with them , i just don't want to be living here so going out won't help me meet people
I 'm not a lost cause i can meet/talk with people quite easily , maybe just not here

http://www.independent.ie/blog/conor-cusack-depression-is-a-friend-not-my-en...