Chit Chat
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CALLING EVERYBODY ON CHIT CHAT
CALLING EVERYBODY ON CHIT CHAT
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Replies: 699
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ttt for Van Clompf.
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Leesen vairy carefilly, I shall say zis only wonce.
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Are you there ?
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Norbert Spark, an unemployed social worker from Stoke (age 43) says, "Mr. Winkle - I bought one potato and one onion from a store the other day, but when I took my goods to the service hatch, the serving hatch person chucked my onion in with the potato and weighed them together. I made an instant decision to say nothing, as I am not a trouble maker. I paid up and left. Yet ever since that incident with the one potato and the one onion took place, I have felt like a MASSIVE moral coward. Should I go back and have it out with the store authorities?"
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Very funny Vel!
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I really shouldn't talk, Tommy, as some years ago, after several hours of tense negotiations with the staff, I single-handedly wreaked MASSIVE havoc on the alcohol dept. of the old Safeway! [>o]
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Oh no Vel! Did you wreak havoc with PLARKOTEX?
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Nobutt Spark, you either live on your own, or you're skint. Maybe jewish, maybe scawtish. maybeBOTH, that's the best value in the graveyard tonight.
Next time, put your business head on and buy 56 pounds of spuds and 56 pounds of onions, chuck in a MASSIVE can of kate and sidney, get some poof pastry, and change the name of your humble abode from flat 34b to 'The Ivy'. Invite EVERYBODY in your hometown to dinner at £20 a head. Everybody wants to eat at The Ivy. |
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Yes, Tommy. Sorry about the delay. I was watching a programme about kidnapped brides in Chechnya on bbc2. That's where I got the PLARKOTEX from originally...bought it on eBay - "buyer must collect".
One fella (named Naseem Sparkov, unemployed arms dealer aged 43) brought one potato and one onion to the wedding feast. Needless to say, he was beaten to a pulp by the village grannies. |
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Who the feck is Ivy...?? [>o]
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Ivy is a Polish spy, normally known as Maczysz Dzieduszycki, but due to his training in hespyonarj he is cunnilingusly disguised as a 5 star restaurant in Staffordshiyererer.
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ttt for the Ivy, Onion and Potato pie.
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Hey...Tommy...I ask you...where is Safeway now...?
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ttt - at the request of Professor David "Jelly Boy" Melton, unemployed, aged 51, from Derby.
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Got an Email from Lee Xiao Seng, Vice-President of the Beijing branch of the Mr.Winkle Society. Seng is the 28 year old Captain of a Chinese Junk that is NOT directly involved in the opium trade:
"Thousand pardon Chairman Winkle you set up business together me and we make $$$$ and more gold than ever. You got goo export potential where are you? Lee Xiao Seng hear you access the supermod Campbell. I sent you noodle we break even then Lee Xiao Seng take Campbell on long trip up River Clyde withoot paddle on big banana boat - no drug involve. YOU FIX. What song you sing master Winkle?" |
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ttt for Baggers
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你好 Lee Xiao Seng, you get in touch with San Francisco orifice, in 团结的国家的美国, you to contact Soo Lin, she old marital art heroin flim star and she love you MASSIVE long time for 100 U.S. dollar. Winkle send you photos of campbell with no face cement on, i reckon you no like, and take her on sampan to south china sea and throw overboard for shark. Maybe they bite and they spit her out.
for and on behalf of Winkle enterprises Rick Shaw |
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wutless chimps
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ffs. missed opportunity imo.
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btf nicked the 300
I'll wait for the 500 now |
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wordup
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Hello Roger
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I honestly was unaware of that!. go me, go me, go me.
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[:x]
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I'm orff to the sun - I really do expect this fred to be in good order on my return. Thank-you.
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Have a good un Ivor.
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up for me
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Up through the atmosphere
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up 2 3 4
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up 2 3 4
keep it up 2 3 4 we are going to top this thread or we're going to drop down dead chit chat is the place to be in the morning at half past three sound off one two sound off three four sounde off one two one two three four |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wt5Uj3KtYM |
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My favourite Disney film when I was a kid, Fishy.
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In fact, forget 'when I was a kid'. I can't think of a better Disney film even now.
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TTT FOR TT
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Harold James Crank, retired janitor aged 86, from Norwich, Emailed this poop :
"Mr. Winkle - like you, I am a JUGGED HARE enthusiast and I have been selling my products all over Norfol, which is near Norfolk, for several years now. I am ready to go MEGA MASSIVE with the old hare, as all the young ones say. Are you willing to invest in this business before the Health & Safety shut me down? I need someone who has contacts in the Asian markets - eg. China. I calculate that, with the hare in a speedy junk, we could be up and running in China within two months, given good weather. Remember - Colonel Sanders didn't start until he was quite old, but he still chickened the whole known world. PS - Like you, I admired Rita Hayworth. I can't say I ever pumped her but I did shake her hand once, at the hare coursing in Norfol. She was being escoreted by Norson Welles AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME." |
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Hare today, gone tomorrow.
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