From McSpruces Online Dictionary:

Stepford wives

Origin: Dates from Royal Navy tradition of the late 17th century, when it was common for sailors to take their wives with them when they went to sea.

Further details: [i]When leaving port, women were allowed on the ship only when the captain decided it was appropriate. He would give the signal and a lieutenant would give the order

When writing home to their parents,American soldiers in Vietnam would announce 'I'm going to Camp Granada.' They said this because they all started their letters home with 'Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda..'

Next: Sherman Tanks.

one more ttt for old times sake.

Cross and Blackwell have fallen out. Mr Cross is sick and tired of Mr Blackwell's pathetic attempts at 'managing' football teams on his days off. His efforts at Leeds and now Sheffield United have seen both clubs fall from grace by adopting 'long ball' tactics.
Things have come to a head with the introduction of a new vinagrette braned 'Cross Dressing'
Blackwell is consulting his solicitors.

Next: Route One

'Route one' - the long kick upfield followed by a goalmouth scramble is a common but widely derided footballing tactic. It is often perceived to be employed by teams that are heavy on physicality but light on everything else, particularly skill.

Next: Tactics

where the 'ell you been??

welcome back :)

Eggs got their name from the Viking war Goddess Frieda Eggsborgunssen, who was the first person to break what was then called an Oramsvorten onto a hot brick to produce the tasty snack we know today.
Over the years the name became shortened to reflect modern parlance.

Next: Norwegian Wood

ttt

On taking his first spoonful of Mock turtle soup in the famous restaurant 'The Creeper', well known food critic Michael Loser shouted the waitress across.
'Calm down dear,' began Loser 'but has the turtle's head in this soup been touching cloth?'
'I dont think so sir, but why do you ask?
Because it tastes like s hit'

Next: Winner takes all.

Well known Forumite Mr T. Toes was in his 'garden' this morning to feed the birds, as is his wont, when he noticed a bluet it high up in one of the many rowan trees that adorn the vast acreage that lies behind the palatial mansion that is Toes Towers.
He noticed the bird had no beak and was thin and miserable due to lack of nutrition.
Immediately our hero adjouned into the massive 18th century marble pagoda which he calls his 'shed.'
Inside were the many bird based protheses Mr Toes had fashioned over the years out of wood, cat bone and ivory, which he had acquired when the billiard hall in Hanley closed down in 1874.
He found what he was looking for and went back into the garden. He held up the ivory beak which he had fasioned in 1943 for just such an occurance as today's. Toes coaxed the bird down soothingly saying: 'Come on down and make a complete t it of yourself.'
Which the bird did and lived happily ever after.

Next: Ebony and Ivory

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Ebony and Ivory was a song sung by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, about the natural harmony between these two decorative materials.

Many years later conspiracists hypothasised that the song contained a hidden metaphorical message, and was actually about how all races should get along - noting also that McCartney was white and Wonder black.

Asked for comment, Stevie Wonder replied "I'm black?!!!"

Next: MoTown

In an effort to attract some of the vast swathes of American tourists that will be visiting Wales this summer due to the exchange rate (they can now get $47,000 to the £1) Monmouth County Council have decided to change the name of their town to MoTown.
They hope this will bring in the soul music loving hip dudes to the sleepy outpost where they will become bewitched by the local library, the leek festival and the open air Max**concert.

Next: Looking Sheepish.

There was a craze back in the 60s for deliberately leading people on to make fools of themselves, which resulted in a lot of very embarrassed people looking very sheepish a lot of the time.

Women quickly discovered that this was actually a bit of a turn-on for men and they tried to perfect the art of looking sheepish in a bid to woo the man of their dreams.

The multi-billion pound pharmaceutical industry saw an opportunity to make a few quid and came up with a drug which would induce this look for them without having to make an effort. It quickly caught on and the Looking Sheepish Drug, or LSD as it was affectionately called, was a huge success.

Next: The Summer Of Love

Yorkshire Creekeet was going through a bit of a hiaitus in the early 1980's until a young all rounder called Jim Love entered the fray. During his first season he hit 40,000 runs took 1,900 wickets, 300 stumpings, 3456 run outs, 6783 catches. He also made the best sandwiches at lunchtime ,took all the money on the gate and made Geoffrey Boycott popular with his team mates.

So successful was he that 1983 will always be remembered as the 'Summer of Love' from Bawtry to Middlesborough, and from Hornsea to Heckmondwike.

Next: The B roads of Yorkshire.

The Broads of Yorkshire was the unfinished second novel of Emily Bronte and was a rambling epic thought to be loosely based on the debauchery that went on around Haworth Parsonage during her formative years.
The heroines of the story were a trio of no nonsense straight talking lasses who defied their humble roots to achieve greatness by respectively becoming county champions in pint downing, ferret trousering and bathtub racing...a sport still frequently practised and which can be seen weekly in Last of the Summer Wine.
Considered too risque for its day, Emily is believed to have abandoned the work but liked the title so much that she began to use it again for a guide on pub crawls along minor Yorkshire roads but unfortunately she died after beginning her extensive research for

next: On Ilkley Moor Bar T'at

Pontefract cakes were originally small, round, bite-size cakes which the womenfolk used to bake for their men to take down the mines as a snack. Unfortunately, the tiny cakes used to get covered in coal dust and a lot of miners ended up with broken teeth through biting into lumps of coal by mistake.

The cakes were eventually banned by the mine owners as too many workers were getting injured. But the memory of them lives on in the familiar, small liquorice sweets which still bear their name.

Next: Lee Dorsey

very very clever Rod!

A poem in the Book of Taleisin, Armes Prydain Fawr, Preiddeu Annwfn, tells the unlikely tale of King Arthur sailing off to who knows where and coming back with a 'Magical Cauldron.'
So magical was this cauldron, it was foretold, that whatever you placed in it eg: old socks, fish heads or grass, what came out was a medieval veritable feast of Blumenthal proportions that would satsfy his whole army.
In reality however, all it did was burn some cakes.

Next: Broken promises.