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Nautical slang for the hooters on the figurehead of a sailing ship.
Next: Tea clippers |
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Tea clippers the most famous of these is the Cutty Sark....currently parked in dry Dock in London....
next: general sugery |
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General Sugery was a little known Confederate commander in the American Civil war.
He was shot one day when riding along his line yelling Yeehaw to his troops. Next: Old Yeller |
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Old Yeller is a Disney classic about a stray dog, who in the usual Americanised sugary way, brings a lump to the throat, and a tear to the glass eye.
Next: Tear Jerkers |
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It's a little known fact that Tear Jerkers was the first winner of a horse race on an all weather surface in the UK.
2.10 Southwell, 4th May 1985. 5/1 2nd Fav Next: Konrad Adenauer |
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Most well known as a German chancellor, after his resignation Konrad went back to his first love - cookery. 'Kochen und Konrad' was the German equivalent of The Galloping Gourmet and his classic recipes for bratwurst mit sauerkraut and apfelstrudel are still taught to German schoolchildren in home economics classes today
next: lederhosen |
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Lederhosen are the only item of clothing to make the Top 10 in the Guiness List of Most Popular Items to be Wearing whilst Asphyxiating Oneself for Sexual Gratification for each of the last 10 years. Gas mask has featured 9 times, and pith helmet 8.
Next: Helmets. |
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Ladies with helmets are very popular in Brighton.
next: Brighton |
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For a really good time, go to Brighton Marina.
If I find her phone number I'll post it. Next : - Sandy Beaches |
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Sandy Beaches was the nom de plume of a popular "adult" film star. She starred in many such titles, and is best remembered for the film "Sandy and the elephant come to town", which won an Oscar for best Costume Design in 1957.
Next: Dumbo |
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Dumbo is shorthand for dumb blonde as in "you have to be Dumbo if you think an elephant can fly".
Next> Mr. Stork |
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for years little children where told that mr stork would bring them thier next baby brother or sister. I believed this till i was twenty two then i found out that it was in fact pixies i was gutted
Next garden objects |
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Garden objects sometimes get hidden away under gooseberry bushes and can prove very difficult to retrieve due to the presence of sharp**les and extremely irritating, noisy babies...
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next: soft fruit
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The pear has a three-stage life - rock, edible, mush. The middle of the these lasts for approxiamately 9 seconds and usually occurs during the middle of the night.
Next: 3am. |
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In there song "Wednesday Morning 3am" by Simon and Garfunkel the protagonist laments that he must leave is loved one for the petty robbery he has commited. What most people dont know that this is a cover of an old arab folk song where a young saudi boy laments on never being able to play the piano again.
Next : Amputation |
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Novel by Isac Asimov, in which he foretells home stereo equipment reaching such levels of computerised sophistication that it attains consciousness.
Next: Parametric Equalisers |
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Parametric Equalisers are somewhat complicated sound devices. They are unusual in that they can reduce whatever complicated things they do but not increase them. Thankfully this is not true of the Japanese Nobdevice...
next: Nobs |
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The expression nobs (originally short for nobility) is now used for anyone who affects superior airs and graces. For example instead of doing something oneself one would have one's butler do it.
Next> Portuguese cucumbers sandwich. |
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Cucumber sandwiches while regarded as the stalwarts of British garden parties were in fact a Portuguese invention. The explorer Vasco da Gama was accredited with their invention after seeing Indian natives placing cucumber raitha inside naan bread. The dish was a hit back in Lisbon and da Gama is associated with cucumbers there to this day in the same way that Sir Walter Raleigh is connected with potatoes and tobacco in the UK. The British simply copied the idea and put their own slant on it by cutting the crusts off.
next: Croquet |
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Brilliant, as usual, RT
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"Croquet" is the heart-rending, pitiful cry made by French frogs as their legs are removed.
Next: Les petits Ouiseau |
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The sport of croquet was invented after some particularly nasty lousianna swamp dwellers were enjoying their favourite past time of frog torturing.To pass time in their dreary surroundings these dispicable folk used to find delight in practising a very rudimentary style of golf using mangrove branches as clubs and frogs or toads as balls.Seeming any hole would be lost to the murky waters they instead decided to hit the poor creatures through twigs fashioned into hoops.After one swamp dweller remarked one day after a rather nasty swing and hit that''that didn't half make it croak eh?'' the name stuck.Even to this day after advancements in equipment and the RSPCA's demands that frogs and toads be replaced with balls the name has stuck....croquet.
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sorry a bit late there please refer to previous post for next thread
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preferred it to mine bots.
Next: The Little Birds (in French) |
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Deux petits oiseaux
Sont sur une branche l'un s'appelle Pierre l'autre s'appelle Paul Viens-t'en Pierre! viens-t'en Paul ! Va-t-en Pierre! va-t-en Paul ! Next: Nursery Rhymes |
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This is a popular method of teaching 2yo horses how to run in a straight line. The gallops jockeys chant the following rhyme in unison as they ride
"The hooves on the horse go clippety-clop, clippety clop, clippety clop The hooves on the horse go clippety clop, and they don't run green". Quite honestly, it works no better than bribing them with a liump of sugar. Next: Plantations |
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Novel by Isaac Asimov, in which he foretells house plants reaching such levels of evolutionary sophistication that they learn to water themselves, surviving for three weeks instead of two. Written before the Day Of The Triffids by John Wyndham by the clever use of HG Wells patented Time Reversorium, which Asimov bought at a car boot sale four years after his own death.
Next: "Woooh, Macbeth, it's me again..." |
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"Whoooh Macbeth it's me again" was the original title of a famous Kate Bush single, but as she knew the name would never be allowed to be said in a theatre, she changed it.
Next: The man with the child in his eyes. |
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"The man with the child in his eyes" was the attempted cure to an infamous medical condition suffered by George II in the 16th Century. It involved a 4 your old boy climbing into the eye socket of said monarch in an attempt to cure his gout.
Medical opinion at the time was divided on the particular usefulness of the treatment. unfortunately it could not provided either way as George II died several days later after choking on a ham sandwich. Next: Janis Joplin |
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=================== Interlude ==================
Some of these should definitely be sent to a newspaper for publishing. ========= Carry on ============================ |
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Janis Joplin was the stage name of Scott Joplin who convinced so many people that they could play The Entertainer that pianos had to be removed from pubs for public health reasons.
Next: Cherie Blair's mouth |
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Cherie Blairs mouth has it's own event horizon. The only other person known to have this phenomenum is Julia Roberts - which is why you will never see them on the same continent, let alone in the same room, as each other.
Next: Tours of number 10 |
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-------------------------Interlude----------------------
AITL - have already suggest to Sparky that he obtain the rights and make a book out of this thread. Excellent Xmas Stocking filler IMO ------------------------As you were------------------- Next: Tours of Number 10 |
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Parents have long given numbers to bodily excretions so as to avoid using vulgar language
Number 1 - p*ss Number 2 - sh*t Number 3 - snot Number 4 - ejaculate Number 5 - bleed Number 6 - sweat Number 7 - cry Number 8- vomit Number 9 - spit Number 10 - stick a needle in a blister so the pus squirts out 'Tours of Number 10' is slang used by the TA to reflect assignments where they've all got terrible blisters. Next: The Territorial Army |
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(too low)
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The Territorial Army were formed to take over the specific role of national defence from the Regulars who, not to put too fine a point on it, just weren't territorial enough and would have let the enemy go anywhere they wanted.
Next: Boundaries |