Chit Chat
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21 Jan 16
17:33
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28 Jun 10
Go on chit chat. Knock our pipes out.
Special award to the best tale.
Special award to the best tale.
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Replies: 81
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Get ready for some of the finest Fiction in the English language.
A mouth-watering prospect indeed. Clearing my desk in anticipation of a half-decent read before bedtime. |
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I'm sincerely hoping so alun. I can't submit any old rubbish to Readers Wives.
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Do you want tales from my youth, or more recent days waking up to old boilers ??!!
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i,d settle for getting seduced by an old lady [ the wife ] in my dotage ,no chance, LOL
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EO |
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was thinking this was going to be about OP & Thatcher
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I can't tell you about that one brendan. Official secret.
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When I was 16 I was "intimate" with a 19 yr old stunna who was dating a 26 yr
International footballer.  |
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Well they won't pay much for that.
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in my early 30s (divorced) I used to get my haircut by a College hairdressing lecturer who must have been early 50,s very attractive with massive and i mean massive tits.
One xmas i said to her i would take her out fr lunch as appreciation for my haircuts. She agreed and i jokingly said one the condition that you wear a low cut and see through top . The day of the lunch arrived and guess what she had the most revealing white low cut top you could imagine mmmmmmmm gorgeous what a cleavage!!! Any way as the meal went on it was obvious she was well up for it. At the end of the meal (i was driving ) I said I need to nip back to my house to let the dog out (which was true) Fine she said no problem. Go to my house let the dog out and before i knew it he had her top and bra off holding the most amazing tits you have ever seen in your life. Needless to say i was well in and we had an extended hour of passion and yummy sex.P saw her for sex a few times after that . Great lady and happy days!! |
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"Go to my house let the dog out and before i knew it he had her top and bra off holding the most amazing tits you have ever seen in your life".
That's quite some dog you have there Never has one missing letter changed a good story for the better. |
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down shep!
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very good johnny hadnt spotted that
hilarous |
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When I was 19 I visited the town where I had gone to boarding school for a few days. The school was split into various boarding houses where there was a housemaster and his wife living along with the boys. At the last place I had boarded the housemaster was the school headmaster and his wife was very friendly towards me. During the visit, about a year after I had left, I went back to the boarding house after a couple of beers and proceeded to show her a good time.
I was 19 and she was 60 so I think she definitely counts as an older lady but to be fair to her she didn't seduce me, the engagement was entirely mutual. |
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Very promising that one Frank. Lots of boxes ticked.
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Still awaiting the first 'one thing led to another'….
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Dawlish 1979, on the week my 20th Birthday, Blonde named Pamela, Barmaid, 33yo carrying a couple of lbs too much but very saucy. Met her in the imfamous "Charlton Club" in Teignmouth, where i sent over a drink for her..
She idled over with a smile and said "do you like older ladies then" i just smiled, she said "you've had too much to drink tonight" to me a bit later..so we'll make it tomorrow afternoon at 3 Only trouble was the it was the week of Royal Ascot  and id planned to be on hols to watch it on the box whilst down Devon.and fancied Ela Mana Mou for the King Ted and Le Moss for the Gold Cup in a double...... she was, still to this day , the loudest lover ive ever had, it was even louder than when i found out my double had copped.....stayed friends for a few years until she ran away to sea  but what a week to come out of your teenage years |
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Ahh, the party has really started with the arrival of my old 'racing reminiscences' pal Zilzal. How goes it Sir? The happiest of New Years to you. Long may you have a good eye for a filly.
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Aged 22, I spent the week at Glorious Goodwood in a pub not far away from the track and got stuck into the 50 year old American landlady. She looked like Susan Penhaligon, the oldtimers on here will remember that actress. It was all very enjoyable. Not a patch on my mate though who at school goosed two dinner ladies in Dulwich woods after a rugby awards evening, he had legend status after that.
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I'd have to agree. Zilzal arrives hard on the steel entering the final quarter mile. Gets a double handful both on the nags and with a filly. Only one thing could possibly top a buxom screamer and that would be a squirter.
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Very well thanks Alun and EO.. The only thing i do 5 times a night these days is sadly going to the Karsie
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not surprised Zil came off the rails in the warren of Dawlish
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Used to have a fine old time..my nan, who lived in Shaldon, got quite used to seeing a strange face in the place when i went down to visit
The guy who ran the ferry was a right miserable ****,overheard him refer to me as a "flash Grockle from london" once, so next day i gave him a £20 note for a 10p odd fare in the morning to wipe the fecker out.... |
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I've mentioned this before but in my twenties, me an my mates played 'The Double Delta' game.
Basically, this was a number. You got it by adding the age difference between your age and the age of the youngest girl you slept with (n.b. had to be legal, i.e. 16) and your age and the age of the oldest woman you slept with. Of course, there's more headroom (fnarr) in this for a lad in his twenties as we then were, with the 'older' side of the equation, so that, oh my brothers, is where the bulk of our group of swordsmens' focus lay. I thought |I was quite the chap, when I did the nasty with a Scouse woman on a girls night out at The Manxman in Preston. She was mid-50's, a definite 'sort' who liked it this way that way and in the wrong way. Precis-ing the story (because I know some of you have short fuses and are probably at the vinegar strokes as I type) I strolled into our lads kitchen the next morning, feeling like the **** of The Walk, as my Double Delta was somewhere in the upper 30's now and surely unassailable ....only to be met by this wizened old mother-of-pearl my mate had pulled. Jesus somersaulting Christ she was like Mother Theresa before the Oil of Ulay. I didn't know whether to offer her a cup of tea or a nip of Doctor Collis Browne's and some wincarnis for her spastic colon! Anyway, my mates double delta was somewhere in the upper forties after which we drew stumps on the game. Of course, I'm much more mature now. |
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Excellent, Roger!
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Sadly,we are all probably the subject of the young ladies tales of derring do now Roger !
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Wonderful story Roger. Reminds me of one Ronnie Reagan told on the politics forum. Who knows if it was true but he claims he was an American who did some bible stuff (in Skelmersdale I think it was) and was introduced into the ways of the flesh by a nurse who was nearing retirement. Apparently she was quite the beast and amongst many other things bit his eyebrows until they bled and he screamed but still didn't let go.
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Ahh, this is just like reading the adventures of 'Frankly Fiona' back in the days of yore, except these tales are maybe even more fragrant.
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Duckworth Lewis system can skew scores/averges
app Cook ain't bad |
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I was 17 she was 31
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I can't remember the lady's name but she was an artist I think portrayed by Salma Hayek of From Dust Till Dawn Fame (who is still definitely cheb splattering material) but this lady was still seducing young cowboys in her 90's. Ride em. Just don't dislocate their hips.
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"Salma Hayek of From Dust Till Dawn"
That dancing on the table scene is certainly rager inducing. |
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I was sort of nearly ..... ok there was this woman of 35 or more ish sort off ........ up against the back of the house (hers)
I woz 18 anyway my long term girlfriend is nearly half my age - does this count or have I got it the wrong way round. I often get it roung the 'wrong way' hahahahahahahah |
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Was this during the war mobo?
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I was going to plead your case when nicky takes your castle and lands. Now you can forget it!!!
Ps I am currently fighting the battle for normandy. It is a huge game and I now have no time for sex. Not that I was much good at it!! all the best EO. |
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didn't that tory MP
do the gran/mother/daughter |
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normal for a Con
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