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21 Jan 16
17:33
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28 Jun 10
Go on chit chat. Knock our pipes out.
Special award to the best tale.
Special award to the best tale.
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Get ready for some of the finest Fiction in the English language.
A mouth-watering prospect indeed. Clearing my desk in anticipation of a half-decent read before bedtime.
A mouth-watering prospect indeed. Clearing my desk in anticipation of a half-decent read before bedtime.
I'm sincerely hoping so alun. I can't submit any old rubbish to Readers Wives.
Do you want tales from my youth, or more recent days waking up to old boilers ??!!
i,d settle for getting seduced by an old lady [ the wife ] in my dotage ,no chance, LOL
was thinking this was going to be about OP & Thatcher
I can't tell you about that one brendan. Official secret. 
When I was 16 I was "intimate" with a 19 yr old stunna who was dating a 26 yr
International footballer.
International footballer.
in my early 30s (divorced) I used to get my haircut by a College hairdressing lecturer who must have been early 50,s very attractive with massive and i mean massive tits.
One xmas i said to her i would take her out fr lunch as appreciation for my haircuts. She agreed and i jokingly said one the condition that you wear a low cut and see through top .
The day of the lunch arrived and guess what she had the most revealing white low cut top you could imagine mmmmmmmm gorgeous what a cleavage!!! Any way as the meal went on it was obvious she was well up for it. At the end of the meal (i was driving ) I said I need to nip back to my house to let the dog out (which was true) Fine she said no problem.
Go to my house let the dog out and before i knew it he had her top and bra off holding the most amazing tits you have ever seen in your life. Needless to say i was well in and we had an extended hour of passion and yummy sex.P saw her for sex a few times after that .
Great lady and happy days!!
One xmas i said to her i would take her out fr lunch as appreciation for my haircuts. She agreed and i jokingly said one the condition that you wear a low cut and see through top .
The day of the lunch arrived and guess what she had the most revealing white low cut top you could imagine mmmmmmmm gorgeous what a cleavage!!! Any way as the meal went on it was obvious she was well up for it. At the end of the meal (i was driving ) I said I need to nip back to my house to let the dog out (which was true) Fine she said no problem.
Go to my house let the dog out and before i knew it he had her top and bra off holding the most amazing tits you have ever seen in your life. Needless to say i was well in and we had an extended hour of passion and yummy sex.P saw her for sex a few times after that .
Great lady and happy days!!
"Go to my house let the dog out and before i knew it he had her top and bra off holding the most amazing tits you have ever seen in your life".
That's quite some dog you have there
Never has one missing letter changed a good story for the better.
That's quite some dog you have there
Never has one missing letter changed a good story for the better.
When I was 19 I visited the town where I had gone to boarding school for a few days. The school was split into various boarding houses where there was a housemaster and his wife living along with the boys. At the last place I had boarded the housemaster was the school headmaster and his wife was very friendly towards me. During the visit, about a year after I had left, I went back to the boarding house after a couple of beers and proceeded to show her a good time.
I was 19 and she was 60 so I think she definitely counts as an older lady but to be fair to her she didn't seduce me, the engagement was entirely mutual.
I was 19 and she was 60 so I think she definitely counts as an older lady but to be fair to her she didn't seduce me, the engagement was entirely mutual.
Very promising that one Frank. Lots of boxes ticked.
Still awaiting the first 'one thing led to another'….
Dawlish 1979, on the week my 20th Birthday, Blonde named Pamela, Barmaid, 33yo carrying a couple of lbs too much but very saucy. Met her in the imfamous "Charlton Club" in Teignmouth, where i sent over a drink for her..
She idled over with a smile and said "do you like older ladies then" i just smiled, she said "you've had too much to drink tonight" to me a bit later..so we'll make it tomorrow afternoon at 3
Only trouble was the it was the week of Royal Ascot
and id planned to be on hols to watch it on the box whilst down Devon.and fancied Ela Mana Mou for the King Ted and Le Moss for the Gold Cup in a double...... she was, still to this day , the loudest lover ive ever had, it was even louder than when i found out my double had copped.....stayed friends for a few years until she ran away to sea 
but what a week to come out of your teenage years
She idled over with a smile and said "do you like older ladies then" i just smiled, she said "you've had too much to drink tonight" to me a bit later..so we'll make it tomorrow afternoon at 3
Only trouble was the it was the week of Royal Ascot
and id planned to be on hols to watch it on the box whilst down Devon.and fancied Ela Mana Mou for the King Ted and Le Moss for the Gold Cup in a double...... she was, still to this day , the loudest lover ive ever had, it was even louder than when i found out my double had copped.....stayed friends for a few years until she ran away to sea but what a week to come out of your teenage years
Ahh, the party has really started with the arrival of my old 'racing reminiscences' pal Zilzal. How goes it Sir? The happiest of New Years to you. Long may you have a good eye for a filly.
Aged 22, I spent the week at Glorious Goodwood in a pub not far away from the track and got stuck into the 50 year old American landlady. She looked like Susan Penhaligon, the oldtimers on here will remember that actress. It was all very enjoyable. Not a patch on my mate though who at school goosed two dinner ladies in Dulwich woods after a rugby awards evening, he had legend status after that.
I'd have to agree. Zilzal arrives hard on the steel entering the final quarter mile. Gets a double handful both on the nags and with a filly. Only one thing could possibly top a buxom screamer and that would be a squirter.
Very well thanks Alun and EO.. The only thing i do 5 times a night these days is sadly going to the Karsie
not surprised Zil came off the rails in the warren of Dawlish
Used to have a fine old time..my nan, who lived in Shaldon, got quite used to seeing a strange face in the place when i went down to visit
The guy who ran the ferry was a right miserable ****,overheard him refer to me as a "flash Grockle from london" once, so next day i gave him a £20 note for a 10p odd fare in the morning to wipe the fecker out....
The guy who ran the ferry was a right miserable ****,overheard him refer to me as a "flash Grockle from london" once, so next day i gave him a £20 note for a 10p odd fare in the morning to wipe the fecker out....
I've mentioned this before but in my twenties, me an my mates played 'The Double Delta' game.
Basically, this was a number. You got it by adding the age difference between your age and the age of the youngest girl you slept with (n.b. had to be legal, i.e. 16) and your age and the age of the oldest woman you slept with.
Of course, there's more headroom (fnarr) in this for a lad in his twenties as we then were, with the 'older' side of the equation, so that, oh my brothers, is where the bulk of our group of swordsmens' focus lay.
I thought |I was quite the chap, when I did the nasty with a Scouse woman on a girls night out at The Manxman in Preston. She was mid-50's, a definite 'sort' who liked it this way that way and in the wrong way. Precis-ing the story (because I know some of you have short fuses and are probably at the vinegar strokes as I type) I strolled into our lads kitchen the next morning, feeling like the **** of The Walk, as my Double Delta was somewhere in the upper 30's now and surely unassailable
....only to be met by this wizened old mother-of-pearl my mate had pulled. Jesus somersaulting Christ she was like Mother Theresa before the Oil of Ulay. I didn't know whether to offer her a cup of tea or a nip of Doctor Collis Browne's and some wincarnis for her spastic colon!
Anyway, my mates double delta was somewhere in the upper forties after which we drew stumps on the game.
Of course, I'm much more mature now.
Basically, this was a number. You got it by adding the age difference between your age and the age of the youngest girl you slept with (n.b. had to be legal, i.e. 16) and your age and the age of the oldest woman you slept with.
Of course, there's more headroom (fnarr) in this for a lad in his twenties as we then were, with the 'older' side of the equation, so that, oh my brothers, is where the bulk of our group of swordsmens' focus lay.
I thought |I was quite the chap, when I did the nasty with a Scouse woman on a girls night out at The Manxman in Preston. She was mid-50's, a definite 'sort' who liked it this way that way and in the wrong way. Precis-ing the story (because I know some of you have short fuses and are probably at the vinegar strokes as I type) I strolled into our lads kitchen the next morning, feeling like the **** of The Walk, as my Double Delta was somewhere in the upper 30's now and surely unassailable
....only to be met by this wizened old mother-of-pearl my mate had pulled. Jesus somersaulting Christ she was like Mother Theresa before the Oil of Ulay. I didn't know whether to offer her a cup of tea or a nip of Doctor Collis Browne's and some wincarnis for her spastic colon!
Anyway, my mates double delta was somewhere in the upper forties after which we drew stumps on the game.
Of course, I'm much more mature now.
Sadly,we are all probably the subject of the young ladies tales of derring do now Roger !
Wonderful story Roger. Reminds me of one Ronnie Reagan told on the politics forum. Who knows if it was true but he claims he was an American who did some bible stuff (in Skelmersdale I think it was) and was introduced into the ways of the flesh by a nurse who was nearing retirement. Apparently she was quite the beast and amongst many other things bit his eyebrows until they bled and he screamed but still didn't let go.
Ahh, this is just like reading the adventures of 'Frankly Fiona' back in the days of yore, except these tales are maybe even more fragrant.
Duckworth Lewis system can skew scores/averges
app Cook ain't bad
app Cook ain't bad
I can't remember the lady's name but she was an artist I think portrayed by Salma Hayek of From Dust Till Dawn Fame (who is still definitely cheb splattering material) but this lady was still seducing young cowboys in her 90's. Ride em. Just don't dislocate their hips.
"Salma Hayek of From Dust Till Dawn"
That dancing on the table scene is certainly rager inducing.
That dancing on the table scene is certainly rager inducing.
I was sort of nearly ..... ok there was this woman of 35 or more ish sort off ........ up against the back of the house (hers)
I woz 18
anyway my long term girlfriend is nearly half my age - does this count or have I got it the wrong way round.
I often get it roung the 'wrong way' hahahahahahahah
I woz 18
anyway my long term girlfriend is nearly half my age - does this count or have I got it the wrong way round.
I often get it roung the 'wrong way' hahahahahahahah
I was going to plead your case when nicky takes your castle and lands. Now you can forget it!!!
Ps I am currently fighting the battle for normandy. It is a huge game and I now have no time for sex. Not that I was much good at it!!
all the best EO.
Ps I am currently fighting the battle for normandy. It is a huge game and I now have no time for sex. Not that I was much good at it!!
all the best EO.
My little tale from my youth... was seeing this girl, she was 17, I was 20. Only went out with her for a couple of months.... she was quite a shy and reserved type. Took me home to meet her parents, went ok, mother was a very smart and attractive woman, early forties, spitting image of Lulu?
A few months later, was in a local club and who should be there but the mother of the girl I had been going out with.
Got chatting and having drinks etc., guess the rest... that woman knew no boundaries!
A few months later, was in a local club and who should be there but the mother of the girl I had been going out with.
Got chatting and having drinks etc., guess the rest... that woman knew no boundaries!
Linda sucked me off.
That seems a bit random Roy.
That seems a bit random Roy.
Pulled a 52yr old bird in the pub, she was there with her 30yr old daughter just divorced, daughter goes for a pi*s and mum says do I fancy a bit of MDC,
F*ck me yeah I says.
Goes back her place, three of us were standing in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, her daughter disappears into the kitchen and then her mother shouts up the stairs, 'Mum' you still up for that MDC ?
F*ck me yeah I says.
Goes back her place, three of us were standing in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, her daughter disappears into the kitchen and then her mother shouts up the stairs, 'Mum' you still up for that MDC ?
I'm disappointed IAN hasn't been along yet to share with us the sensitive details of his own sexual epiphany.
I'm just guessing obviously, but imagine it was something very beautiful and tasteful, possibly with something resembling the new improved Frank Baloney.
I'm just guessing obviously, but imagine it was something very beautiful and tasteful, possibly with something resembling the new improved Frank Baloney.
if it'sMonday night footbakll & Newcastle count me n gaza owt mon
No no sir. People like IAN play the long game. We may think he hasn't been around these parts because he is shame faced because he told all those lies about taking in asylum seekers. The truth is they've ben taking him in during the biggest bout of refugee rumpy pumpy that has ever been seen. I'll tell you it must look like a rottweiller has gnawed on it for a week.
I don't doubt you're right EO about poor IAN.
btw everyone…. I mentioned FRANKLY FIONA earlier…. your Starter for Ten…. NO GOOGLING….. which football manager decided to bring her along to training one day to meet the lads, press pack in tow, and she showed her stuff on the pitch and in the shared bath afterwards, and which club was he managing at the time? All pictured and in the papers.
Imagine that now
Was in Hamburg for new year many years ago, went into some bar down some steps, in through the heavy curtains, two birds behind the bar in sussies etc,etc. Old bird in the corner getting pissed and shouting at everyone - we headed to her for a chat, her name was rosa and she was 66, ex showgirl (dancer) in hamburg, worked with some guy named freddie quinn in one of the show halls (proper cabaret).
We all got more and more pissed, rosa and all, the two birds behind the bar were gorgeous but I ended up getting rosa's tits out for the lads and having a play - she was up for it, two birds behind the bar never flinched.
We all got more and more pissed, rosa and all, the two birds behind the bar were gorgeous but I ended up getting rosa's tits out for the lads and having a play - she was up for it, two birds behind the bar never flinched.
my decade alun 1st division ? struggling unless it docherty and mary
then when i saw her rabbit hutch some droppings fell out.
OK Cap'n, here's the details. I reckon if you googled enough you'll probably find the actual photos that appeared in the paper.
Remember now?
.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Allison#Controversies
Remember now?
.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Allison#Controversies
Yes alun
got into poly as headmaster good egg
Feckin Teeside they hated students but loved Big Mal hope u well i of to bed
got into poly as headmaster good egg
Feckin Teeside they hated students but loved Big Mal hope u well i of to bed
Darn it alun. That was one I knew and as I was reading down the wrong answers I thought I was going to announce it.
What rotten luck.
I hope you're not that slow off the mark when Rocco's Niece issues you a few orders.
They used to make documentaries about this sort of thing, you know:
Aged 19 at Uni, we had the same cleaner at our halls of residence. She was average looking in the face, cracking body and tits though, mid 40s and a laugh. Got out of shower one morning , semi naked on way back to my room and she looked at me so suggestively and from then on when I didnt have lectures I'd give her one. It used to be funny we'd be having sex and the cleaner the other side of the building would be shouting her , CAROL, CAROL!! while she was getting a good seeing to, she was married and taught me a lot!!
Ha, no but I used to sing that to her along with everyone else!
never copped off with an older woman in my youth
Used to have this gorgeous next door neighbour though. I remember often gazing out of my bedroom window (I must've been 14/15) and watch her weeding or planting in her back garden, on all fours with a short dress on showing her skimpy trollies. Phwoar. Used to give me the kind of boner that'd knock a hole in a cheap door.
Used to have this gorgeous next door neighbour though. I remember often gazing out of my bedroom window (I must've been 14/15) and watch her weeding or planting in her back garden, on all fours with a short dress on showing her skimpy trollies. Phwoar. Used to give me the kind of boner that'd knock a hole in a cheap door.
this isnt exactly the "threesome thread" is it,you lot need to up yer game !
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