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Trivial things that really get on your tits
Trivial things that really get on your tits
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Replies: 671
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the cyclists in my area use the main road despite the fact the pavement is divided in 2 - 1 half for people and 1 half for cyclists. even has a picture of a bike painted on the floor. but they still use the road instead.
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Penny pinchers & non-risk takers who refuse to take any sort of gamble in life & self-righteously state, 'Betting is a mug's game'.
You know what, I'd rather put something on the line in life, & enjoy the highs & lows & the excitement gambling has to offer than be like you, in head-bowed surrender, stating, 'Mustn't grumble' fretting needlessly about pension plans & life insurance policies & being a rather wretched individual who would appear to be wandering around this planet somewhat aimlessly waiting to die. |
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Fantastic Johnny
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Gambling may bring excitement to a single male but, if he is married and has children to support, he has higher priorities. There is no problem until these two situations overlap.
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Adverts bad enough in themselves without the volume being through the roof, record everything now even if we are ready to watch it live, for an hour show on ITV just wait 15 minutes & finish the same time as live, you know it makes sense
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doubles players who fist each other after every point,fekkin annoying
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Note to self: don't forget to watch the women's doubles today.
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when pillocks say "good for racing" makes me want to kick the telly in!
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taxi drivers (nap)
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Having to open a new carton of milk
People who walk at a leisurely pace Drivers on the phone War Gardeners who don't pretend my boys are amazing People who wear those glasses that do up in the middle with a magnet People who overtake super aggressively to get to the end of the next queue of traffic Most flying insects (in flight) Being asked in the morning what I fancy for dinner People who walk around holding an open laptop (usually project managers) People who eat standing up Anything that creaks The continuing popularity of R&B |
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Mr Masters....you spoil us...
I bet you have just had a cup of tea...! |
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Ken Masters 02 Jul 13 14:55
Being asked in the morning what I fancy for dinner Not only in the morning but WHILE I am eating breakfast  |
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Come to think of it this needs to be broken down into categories:
People who:[ I'll come back to this, it needs to be sub-categorized further ... but wear segs in their shoes, have to get that off my chest now] Cyclists who:[ Nip in in front of me at the lights because I'm not covered in lycra like them Run red lights Ride on pavements Try to engage me in inter-cyclist "aren't we hard done by" banter Make drivers more hostile to the rest of us] Drivers who:[ Go on about "road tax" - there's no such thing Ignore the rules of the roundabout Use hazard lights in lieu of manners Can't park Wait for the space you're trying to vacate by pulling up 3/4" away from your bumper Run red lights] Animals which:[ lorem ipsum] Fellow passengers who:[ Play music on a mobile Stink Ignore old or pregnant people who need a seat Are beastly] Christ, this could be a lifetime's work... |
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And quitters, that'll do.
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The people at Wimbledon who do that slow clapping when they are waiting for Hawkeye's decision.
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Yes, why do they do it? It seems very bad mannered.
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People who:[
Ask me where the Wimbledon tennis is, you see all the thousands of people walking that way? It's that way.] |
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Putting a post on the wrong thread.
 Getting off your District Line train at Wimbledon Station, to find that you are nowhere near the facking dog track. I think this also equates to the other end of the line, where strangers who are running late, get off at West Ham to go and watch what some describe as football. It's two stops further east. |
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That stray spoon always lurking in the sink, catching me unawares, that somehow always finding its way directly under the tap so that when I turn the tap on, water projectiles violently off it & all over my jeans making it look like I've just pissed myself
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pumphol.
01 Jul 13 18:06 Joined: 29 Jul 04 | Topic/replies: 27,174 | Blogger: pumphol.'s blog You just know that " Henman Hill " will be " officially " renamed " Murray Mount " if he wins Wimbledon, its a friggin piece of grass ffs who gives a sh!t what they call it Robson ridge? Someone on Radio 5 Live suggested Robson Green |
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Laura land...?
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Makybe. The slow clapping is not bad-mannered. The crowd actually enjoy the thrill of 'was it or wasn't it?' because the results are sometimes unexpected,although they are usually quite close.
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But why do they have to slow handclap?
Add in applauding double faults and yelling come on just as the ball is tossed. Immediate ejection should be the sanction |
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Robson ridge?
I heard someone on TV call it Robson's Ridge and it immediately made me think of her fanny. |
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When someone dies, and they're either already famous or their death makes the news, a sea of flowers appears at their home or death site. Flowers cost a small fortune and for what? They'll be also be dead and decomposing after a few days. If people want to spend some money commemorating a death then perhaps give it to a relevant charity instead of wasting it on flowers. I'm not talking about when a family member dies, I mean when, say, Amy Winehouse died, for example. Florists must love it when someone famous nearby dies.
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a minutes silence at Anfield when a players goldfish passes away!
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It must be total pandemonium when the local celebrity Florist dies.
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People who pick up their work mates at 6.30am (usually fannys in a white van) but can't be arsed waiting or phoning to let them know they are there but instead pump the horn (illegally) to let them know they have just pulled in this second as if everbody in the street gets up at 6.30am.
My Morrisons which puts the sale chocolates/crap food and any out of date doughnuts at the entrance to the store internal barriers of the supermarket meaning every fat bastard/old person/mother with a trolley stops there to have a look and I have to wrestle my way in to the supermarket or wait while they check the price on every single packet. |
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Jim McGrath & all the other dinosaur racing pundits coming out with the same old hackneyed expressions such as, 'Stays longer than the mother-in-law', 'won doing hand-stands'
& btw, in 25 years following horse racing I have never seen a racehorse perform a hand-stand as he gallops past the winning post, so stop saying it |
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It's dreadful for racing - needs a fresh approach imho
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When she go to shake someone's hand & the other person offers the weakest of grips. Obviously we aren't ever taught how to shake hands but some people seem to have no clue & offer up a very limp-wristed effort.
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Parents who dress their young sons up like little old men, flat caps, etc
People who waste perfectly good nights out/parties, by making it themed or fancy dress, and thus losing half their guests in the process. Barely tolerable if it's a bird, unacceptable behaviour for a bloke. Guys who order the hottest dish in the Indians, then play with it on the plate for half an hour, taking the odd mouthful, sweating like a rapist, and hating every last bloody mouthful. They always leave most of it. Same goes for malt whisky drinkers, who make a song and dance about ordering their "preferred malt", then sit and toy with it all night, before eventually going back to a bottle of Miller. People who have about 200 Movie DVD's piled up in a cabinet in their living rooms, clearly never going to watch any of them. Scottish people who are physically incapable of leaving the country, going on holiday, going on TV etc without wearing a kilt. Same with groups of guys wearing kilts at weddings. All standing in a row, mooning the camera, and exposing their baws for an "hilarious" photo opportunity, as if they're the first people to ever think of it. Always done with women and children nearby. If a bunch of guys dropped their trousers and exposed their privates to children at any other time, these same cretins would be straight onto the cops. Football commentators who, after both sides have missed loads of chances, say "this should be 4-4" by now. No it f'ckin shouldn't. Idiots. Also, when a british player scores a beauty of a goal, commentators rave about it for 10 minutes, then say "if he was Brazilian, we'd be raving about that" after raving about it themselves. F'ckin unbelievable. |
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durose13
doubles players who fist each other after every point,fekkin annoying That explains Sir Cliff's love of watching mens tennis |
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very true, Fabulous, about football commentators.
Young children used in tv adverts - there's one on at the moment where this small boy is used to flog mortgages or something, trying to be all sweet about, 'And this is where mummy & daddy made me' pointing to the bed, or some such. N*useating, sentimental b.s. Like that irritating little sh*t in the M&S Christmas ad a few years back who wakes up his parents on Christmas morning with his present for them. |
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Football commentators who, after both sides have missed loads of chances, say "this should be 4-4" by now. No it f'ckin shouldn't. Idiots. Also, when a british player scores a beauty of a goal, commentators rave about it for 10 minutes, then say "if he was Brazilian, we'd be raving about that" after raving about it themselves. F'ckin unbelievable.
so true |
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itv commentators mentioning 1999 whenever man utd play in the champions league.
disqus. never loads. |
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Grooms who are willing to accept June weddings. Incredibly negligent to allow their wedding to be guaranteed to clash with some major must-see event, giving no consideration to their sports/music-loving friends.
You've got the Epsom classics, Royal Ascot, very likely a major football tournament, Wimbledon fortnight, Glasto… - but oh no, we want our wedding in June & expect you to attend. Selfish w*nkers. On a similar note, wedding lists - specifically being given some John Lewis web address to purchase something from a long list of required items. Firstly, how materialistic is it to expect your friends to basically deck out your new home with everything you want. Also with the side-effect of sending me into a neurotic meltdown, 'I can't buy them the luxury down pillows cos I'll look a cheapskate. But I can't afford to buy them the nest of tables' ffs - I give up Blokes on stag dos who treat the weekend like an opportunity to revert to their tw*ttish early 20-something self, forcing others to skull drinks & behave like loud, obnoxious p*ss heads, in between thinking it's the height of manliness to win at all costs at go-karting & partake in all this overtly manly behaviour. Yeah, right, paint-balling is incredibly manly, firing off your big, powerful weapons & covering your male friends in your goo - homoerotic, more like. |
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When people use the phrase "... gets on my tits" for something that they find annoying it really gets on my tits.
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