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REPORTED
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Jesus was always very cross.
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At last, we will soon have the first "Reverse Microwave Oven"..........
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Noah had 2 of every species on his wooden ark.
^^^^^^^^ Yeah right, where then did he keep the facking woodpeckers! |
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Tiger Woods wins 2015 Open at St. Andrews on way to breaking Jack Nicklaus' record for most major golf titles.
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Ttt
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Smirnoff vodka is so called because it's a rude joke: "Smirn" is russian for "b*gg*r",
It is now banned under putin after he was Smirned in a lavatory tent by a horny bear on a disasterous hunting expedition. |
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The parents of actress Greta Scacchi wanted to call her 'Great' by settled on Greta after a local govermment employee made a typing error when they went to register the birth.
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Great thread this,many laughs.
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The UK's newest millionaire was revealed this morning as he unveiled his stock of over 200,00 Sainsbury's carrier bags.
He has been shopping at the Saffron Walden branch for over 50 years. "I always took a couple extra, in case they split on the way home," the life-long bachelor commented. |
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Sorry - got the maths wrong.
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Police foiled a would-be bank robber in north London this morning as he was forcing counter staff to empty the contents of their tills into two Tesco carrier bags.
They had trailed the villain from a nearby branch of the supermarket when staff raised the alarm after he had failed to pay the extra 10p for the bags. |
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The "homeless vets" that Billy Joel sang about in his 1989 smash hit, 'We Didn't Start The Fire', were actually not vets at all.
They were, in fact, ancillary staff such as cleaners and caterers who happened to work in veterinary practices. |
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The Babushka Lady, who appeared in many photos in and around Dealey Plaza, Dallas on the fateful day, was really a time travelling assassin and it was her that really killed JFK.
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The son of Adrienne Posta, the former television actress and singer, is the current editor of Mesenchymal Stem Cell News.
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The name ABBA is an acronym formed by the initals of the group's members.
Similarly, the Beatles name comes from the letters of the first name of the original members ... being Bob, Eddie, Alf, Tommy, Lennie, Enery, and Stu Smith, all brothers and cousins from one big Liverpudlian family. However, they all perished in a bonfire night accident, leaving John, Paul, Ringo and George (their understudies) to take over. The revised name of "The JPRG Men" translated badly in Polish so they went with the original. |
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Lord Sugar, then plain Surralan, made his first million in a single day, April 21 1968. He did this by selling used aerials from his old Morris 1100 and inheriting £1m from his Great Aunt Ruth.
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Whilst he was manager at Aston Villa, Paul Lambert attempted to bring in former rugby union player Eddie Butler as his assistant.
The move was blocked as it would have constituted a breach of the rules concerning tobacco advertising. |
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Diane, Russ and Paul Abbott are triplets who were separated at birth and to this day have no idea that they are related.
Conversely, MP Theresa May and page 3 stunna Teresa May grew up thinking that they were sisters but are not actually related. |
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Norwiss Steeley, a 14 year old fishmonger's apprentice from Oklahoma, USA, took up golf in June, 1922 and by September of that same year, he had shot 8 sub-par rounds in a row on a par 72 course, using a half-set of hickory clubs. In December, 1922, he gave away his golf clubs in order to concentrate on his fishmonger-studies and never played another round of the game known as GOLF.
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The maternal grandmother of 1966 World Cup hero Alan Ball, was the inventor of bread and butter pudding.
Mrs Coral O'Reilly dreamt up the dish while in service to the popular writer Mr H. Rider Haggard. |
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One in three Americans weighs as much as the other Two.Fact.
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Original plans for the Great Wall of China reveal the idea was stolen from DIY S.O.S.- the Big Build.
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Islam is religion of peace ?
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If you wrapped a piece of rope round the world at the equator, and you wanted then to raise the rope 3 feet in the air, you would need to lengthen the rope by 27 miles.
It's not 27 miles btw, it's just over 18 feet!! Now who'd have thought that? ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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West Bromwich Albion were a founder member of the football league. They have always been renown for playing attractive football. Under their incumbent manager Tony Pulis they are widely acknowledged as the most entertaining and expansive team in world football. Messi would like Pulis to be the next Barcelona manager.
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In the Polish version of Scrabble the Z is so commonly used it is only worth 1 point.
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Male baldness only effects male babies born naturally, the pressure on the head during child birth causes premature baldness in later life. Male babies born by Caesearian Section will have a full head of hair for life.
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If you were to go up in a hot air balloon in Berlin and wait for three hours, you would find yourself above London due to the earth having rotated beneath you.
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Adrienne Posta, the former television actress and singer, posts on here as "1st time poster".
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Little-known but often heard Nobby Kash,of Hecklers Comedy fame,has worked in the entertainment industry for over 25 years,specifically in comedy since 1995 when the original Hecklers Comedy Club was formed. Along with regular weekly and monthly shows he has worked at numerous Fringe Festivals,corporate comedy events,outdoor festivals,tours and one off speciality shows,in fact anywhere where a comic's material requires a heckler to put down.
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The Queen is to drop god save the Queen from the national anthem and replace it with long live the queen as she cannot abide religous propigation.
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The pen is mightier than the sword.
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Gold is more useful than iron
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the epl is the best league in the world
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This is a great thread.
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Charlie Brooker has got a pet goat that he takes for walks in West Ealing
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Victoria Falls is the highest waterfall in Zambia.
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There is no Welsh word for "lovely".
The language does contain the word "llwffeli", meaning "toilet cleaner". |