Chit Chat
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Ok there's this lad who does Judo and is a black belt. hes a greek lad who works in a chip shop and he's absolutely huge. every time i go into the chip shop he gives me dead eyes. im big aswell and so he probably sees me as competition. im 16 stone and 5 foot 11 and he's about 19 stone and 6 foot 2. He's bigger than me but ALL my weight come s from muscle. there is no fat whatsoever on my body but there is on his. I admit he does have muscle aswell but muscle and fat. My abs are clearly deffined wheras his are covered by a layer of fat. His arms and shoulders are very defined though.
Anyway, the dead eyes continue for a while and im just shrug it off thinking hews insecure but oine night I see him in the pub drunk and hes staring at me as usual and I stare back and he comes out with "what the ** you looking at". I say "You mate - your looking at me all the time giving me dead eyes whatsd ur **ing problem, mate"?
So we get right up in each others face and I say "look if u want some lets do it outside". We walk outside and he continues to mouth off at me. He claims I**ged his ex girlfriend or something. Anyway, we square off and we are both in a sort of boxing stance. I knew he did Judo and body building and his grappling might be pretty good like mine. I throw a few leg kicks and fast jabs but he keeps coming forward.
Hes swing at me and tries to grab my shirt to go for a collar throw. But I dont let him. Im used to grappling no gi butr hes used to gi. I get double under jhooks around his waist and inside trip him and land on top in his guard. I throw a few hammerfists and aim to pass his guard. His legs are very strong and the guard is secure. He tries to armbar be so I hug him close. He makes a pathetic attempt at a kimura and then switches to a triangle. He fails miserably at the triangle and I pass his guard as he opens his legs and get to side control. I pretend to go for an armbar and switch round to the other side. as he defends the arm by turninga away I take his back and have him in full rear mount. I rain some elbows down on the back of his head and then go for the choke. I secure the Rear Naked Choke and he passes out.
I stand up victorious and look at hjis mates and say "RIGHT WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?" They shuffle about nervously. And so I wait about a bit til the lad wkes up and I aks him why the ** he kicked off? He seems reasonable now and I offer to shake his hand and he accepts and says lets leave it at that. I buy him a pint and tell him I never knew I**ged his ex and was sorry. We are mates now and there's no hard feelings
We sorted things out man to man ... like warriors and now there are no hard feelings and we train togetehr. Still remember the fight though. Ill never forget it.
Anyway, the dead eyes continue for a while and im just shrug it off thinking hews insecure but oine night I see him in the pub drunk and hes staring at me as usual and I stare back and he comes out with "what the ** you looking at". I say "You mate - your looking at me all the time giving me dead eyes whatsd ur **ing problem, mate"?
So we get right up in each others face and I say "look if u want some lets do it outside". We walk outside and he continues to mouth off at me. He claims I**ged his ex girlfriend or something. Anyway, we square off and we are both in a sort of boxing stance. I knew he did Judo and body building and his grappling might be pretty good like mine. I throw a few leg kicks and fast jabs but he keeps coming forward.
Hes swing at me and tries to grab my shirt to go for a collar throw. But I dont let him. Im used to grappling no gi butr hes used to gi. I get double under jhooks around his waist and inside trip him and land on top in his guard. I throw a few hammerfists and aim to pass his guard. His legs are very strong and the guard is secure. He tries to armbar be so I hug him close. He makes a pathetic attempt at a kimura and then switches to a triangle. He fails miserably at the triangle and I pass his guard as he opens his legs and get to side control. I pretend to go for an armbar and switch round to the other side. as he defends the arm by turninga away I take his back and have him in full rear mount. I rain some elbows down on the back of his head and then go for the choke. I secure the Rear Naked Choke and he passes out.
I stand up victorious and look at hjis mates and say "RIGHT WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?" They shuffle about nervously. And so I wait about a bit til the lad wkes up and I aks him why the ** he kicked off? He seems reasonable now and I offer to shake his hand and he accepts and says lets leave it at that. I buy him a pint and tell him I never knew I**ged his ex and was sorry. We are mates now and there's no hard feelings
We sorted things out man to man ... like warriors and now there are no hard feelings and we train togetehr. Still remember the fight though. Ill never forget it.
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So - you had a full rear mount with a full naked choke.
Each to his own. |
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I had a fight with my neighbour once about loud music,
i had to do a forced entry into his house, but he was waiting to recieve me. I tried a few thrusts with my fists but he blocked them, so i body charged him, As i plunged into him he wrapped his arms around me as we fell (me on top). I started giving it to him, plunging brutal downward strokes. Both of us were panting with the exersion. But eventually he relented submissively to the more powerful man. We get on fine now like. |
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I nearly went blind reading all that,but i take your point,i think it's still possible to by a man in this tree hugging world and i applude you!!
My personnally i'd have taken my12 inchpenis out and shoot the silly fellow between the eyes.. |
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At last.
The triumph of good over evil. |
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Even though Lacanian psychoanalysis suggests you are**as a 3 pound note, welcome to the party.
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Right I'm on this diet which I term the warrior diet. It basically consists of undereating in the day and overeating at night. It emulates what the warriors in ancient times did. Obvuiously the spartans and samurai and knights didn't have an hour for lunch. They picked little bits and bobs to eat in the day and then feasted at night when all the fighting/hunting was done.
I was skeptical at first because mostr body building sites will state its a bad diet but I try and eat bits of fruit here and there in thye day and then have loads and loads of protein at night. I some times have two chickens from morrisons for me tea. It works very good especially if you are a martial artist or fighter aor into bodybuilding |
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Have you ever been beaten in a fight, Tony?
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Well, that's - quite fascinating.
So who are we going to sort out next? |
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A true warrior accepts defeat graciously and bows to the superior specimen.
However, I have yet to taste defeat at the hands of a skilled and honourable opponent. Defeat is not to be feared, defeat allows one to become stronger and is a humbling experience that i am almost saddened to yet have experienced. |
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Strictly TM, you must eat the vanquished opponent. Not his brain though - we all recognize the prion quandary.
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You sound like a medieval knight, Tony?
Do you have a white charger? |
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I am thinking of starting a training academy for young boys,
I have always wanted hands on experience with kids, I could train them in self-defence and also the philosophy of the warrior ancients, They would be safe in my powerful hands, |
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Sorry, just burst a gut - bleeding out here - but I want with my dying breath to support Tony Thingees proposal to kill all peeps with an urge to help boy-scouts.
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Thank you bodil,
I shall honour your request, I hope children can be touched by me in some way, I want to go deep into the children, To see what makes them tick. |
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Just what the country needs.
Thousands more teenage murderers on the streets. |
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Ah BW - he's Giles de Retz. A supremely foul person. How can we relate to him? Probably by pouring petrol over him and lighting the match.
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Interesting.
I had him down as Sir Galahad. |
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You missed his irony.
Keep your back to the wall... And pretend you are in control... |
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Irony?
I thought he was my saviour. |
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BW - read what he posted. See Giles de Retz. Decide what you want to be. Think about it?
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Many people look up to me,
especially my vanquished foes, However, A warrior must be able to exercise restraint, earthly passions intefere with training, and spiritual meditation, A warrior lives, trains and fights with men, close bonds are formed. Blood brothers have ties that bind. |
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I give up.
Night all. |
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Betfair - this man is a dangerous pervert!
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Proud and noble warriors throughout history have had to endure many torments.
Accusations are one of them, Being in supreme physical condition, and peacful of mind, I choose to ignore harsh words, and feel sympathy for the accuser. |
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There is something worrying about this thread 'good' abs dont make a great fighter. Look at Frank Bruno loads of muscle but no fat to cushion any blows Muhammed Ali didn't have great abs but was a better fighter because his muscles were less exposed.
As the old fighting expression states a good big un will always beat a good little un therefore the big guy was rubbish. |
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Don't worry about this thread,
It is designed to help you, to make you a better person like me, I feel i need to help materialistic, money chasing betting folk, You are lost, and i am here to help, Through intense physical training, and focus of the mind, we can make the world a better place. |
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Are you Julian Clary?
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what a bizarre thread
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haha - It makes much more sense when you read it with Clarys voice. The bit about getting deep inside children is pleasing also. In an "ARREST THIS PERVERT" way.
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Julian Clary is a tortured soul in need of help,
Help i am willing to provide, 30 mins in my private chamber, There would be a lot of candles, generating heat, So of course we would need to disrobe, A 10 minute massage would offer him physical relief, Whilst chanting would cleanse his soul. |
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OK, so me and the boys go for some food after a full on session on the ale round town. A proper lads night out.
At the end of the night we go for some food in kebab rush and I order 3 pieces of chicken and *****(protein for me muscles like). Anyway, straight away I notice that the boxes they use for the chicken and *****meal are the same size no matter how much chicken you have. So if you have 1 peace of chicken and *****you get the same box as you do when you order 3 pieces of chicken and ***** Due to this, the more chicken you have then the less *****you have because ... obviously ... the *****cant fit in as many if there is more pieces of chicken taking up room. HOWEVER, now this is the dodgy part, it's 1 for each piece of chicken and 1 for ***** So 1 piece of chicken and *****is 2. But 3 pieces of chicken and *****is 4. So why am I being forced to pay the 1 still for a full portion of *****when I'm getting considerably less *****than 1s worth? I notciced this shortly after purchasing my chicken and *****and went mad. I stormed back to the take away and demanded that I have my *****in a seperate box. I told him he owed me some more ***** He wasn't having any of it and was telling me to leave, so I threw the contents of the box in his face over the counter. This frustrated him and he started shouting. Then one of the turks jumps over the counter with a baseball bat to try and smash me. I let him swing the bat and just take it on the arm then I ram him into the wall, pick him up and slam him into the ground. I lay atop him and pound away until he is nothing but a bloody heap on the floor. The other Turks try and get me off so I stand up and swing wildly at them and send them all flying. I then kick the window in and leave. What**es me off is that this was so bloody unessesary. I mean all he had to do was give me the *****I payed for. But no he wamted to be a ** thief about it and caused all that trouble. I have a right to report them to trading standards. Just be careful guys and always ask that your *****and your chicken come in seperate boxes ... otherwise you might have a debacle like this. |
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this is the funniest thread ever...
bodil comment had me on the floor . thank you tony i live for comedy this good.. ew :) :) |
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even better second read..
thank you.. chit chat gold imo.. |
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lol
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tt
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Hello.
My name is Tonymontana and I'm from trading standards. Now give me my *****you cnunt. |
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ttt
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Quality :D
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A truly noble warrior, fighting inequality in chip portions on behalf of weaker men.
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