World Cup
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10 Jun 10
14:46
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22 Sep 02
One day to go and its time for the biannual Diary thread. A month ahead of us with the worlds greatest show so lets kick it off with the group preview:
Group A:
There's something very wrong with the French this year. They're not all pensioners. That's worrying.
South Africa, I don't know much about - from the look of their squad they seem to be the weakest of the Africans but home advantage does tend to count for something (even Japan made it through the group stages in 2002). Mexico, usually a decent bet for the second round. Uruguay ... depends which one turns up, really, doesn't it? If the negative, petulant, nasty Uruguay then it's to be hoped they're on the first plane home. If it's the 'when we feel like it we can actually play' Uruguay then you want to see more.
I dunno, this is a tough group to call. I've a feeling France will do enough, then it's perm any one for the other three. Purely from a spectacle point of view, South Africa getting through to the last sixteen would be nice.
Right, Group B.
With Argentina, you can guarantee that at least once during the first three matches they'll turn it on, big-style (like they did against a very poor Serbia and Hugo Montenegro four years ago). And, when that happens, various media pundits will be lining up to get down on their hands and knees and lick the scum from the Argies collective crack and announce that we have just seen the 2010 World Cup winners and we might as well not even bother playing the rest of the tournament. Like Mark Lawrenson did four years ago. And then, they'll get beat off the Germans in the quarter finals. Like four years ago. And then, they'll lose their rag completely and start kung-fuing hapless bystanders. Like four years ago. It is written.
I like the Argentines, I really do - they've got some awesome players - but, the thing I like most about them is how they carry on when they get beat.
Of the rest ... Nigeria, bit of rebuilding process going on there, by all accounts, although they have got Mikel, and Yakubu, and Adeleye so they're no pushovers. Mind you, they've also got Danny Shi ttu as well.
It looks to be the worst South Korean team in at least four World Cups with - Park Ji-Sing aside - hardly any European experience. Mind you, any team with somebody called Lee Dong**** in their squad is worthy of a few minutes of anyone's time.
Greece just look ... ordinary. Just like they did in USA 94 when they got beat in every match. And, just like they did in Euro 2004 when they only went and won the damn thing! Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going for Argentina and ... Nigeria. Just. But this group's even harder to call than the first one.
Group C
England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia.
Well ... England should win this one without too much difficulty. Which almost certainly means they'll do a 1986, lose to the USA, draw with the North Africans and go into the final match with some central Europeans knowing it's ¤¤¤¤-of-bust. And, then, lose to somebody on penalties (probably the Germans) in the quarter final. When people elsewhere talk about England's predictability, I kind of know what they mean.
America look to have a decent team, albeit, probably not as strong as they had in 2002 or 2006 (loads of experience, though). Algeria are Top 30 FIFA ranked as well so they're clearly no pushover. And Slovenia ... they've got some good players too (a lot of them play in Italy) and they qualified the hard-way. Ultimately, though, if England have any pretensions of actually winning this thing then they really shouldn't struggle to get out of this group. In the end, I've a feeling it's going to come down to what happens with Rooney. If he plays, England play. if he doesn't ... you lot have problems
Group D
If they had Essien I'd say Ghana had the best chance of any of the African nations progressing, but he's going to be huge loss. Germany will qualify. because ... they're Germany. After that, it's a real toss-up between the other three. I've a sneaky feeling the Aussies won't be quite as strong as last time. Serbia (along with their mate Hugo Montenegro) were a bloody disgrace last time - that 6-0 hammering by Argentina said far more about them than it did about the other lot's brilliance. Ghana ... mmm ... I really don't know with this one. Could go any way.
Group E
It depends - as always - on which Netherlands turns up! I mean, let's be brutally honest here, they're utter gits, the Dutch. Every tournament since 1974 they tease us and get our hopes up. And then, always, they let us - and often themselves - down. All right, except Euro 88, I'll give them that one. As recently at 2008, they were magnificent for two games and we all sat here purring thinking 'this is it, they've finally got their ¤¤¤¤ together,' and then they go and lose to Russia. So, I'm expecting what I usually expect from the Dutch - equal measures of brilliance and self-destruction. A stroppy walkout on the eve of the tournament wouldn't be unprecedented either.
As for the rest. Denmark - workmanlike, solid, reliable. Will probably be there or thereabouts. Cameroon - unpredictable, make-it-up-as-they-go-along, jazz. It's be lovely to see the Indomitable Lions roar again, but I can't see it somehow. Japan - rebuilding. It'd be a surprise if they made the next round.
Group F
The Azzurri will, of course, walk this one without even getting into second gear - which they don't do before the quarter finals. Or, they won't - which will be funny, as all Italian World Cup or international tournament calamities ('66, '74, or Euro '96) always are. Nice shirts, though, it has to be said. Slovakia or Paraguay for the second spot? Hmm ... could go either way on this one. Paraguay's chances largely depend on which Roque Santa Cruz turns up. New Zealand, of course, are going home on a big white aeroplane, but it's nice to see them back at the big table for the first time since 1982. (Isn't it just beyond ironic that the first time Australia don't play in the Oceania qualifying group, Oceania managed to get themselves a qualifier?!)
Group G
All lined-up for the Group of Death so, watch, now it'll be the Group of Sleep instead. Brazil and Portugal should qualify. If Drogba plays (and is fit) then the Ivory Coast's game against Portugal is the first round's one potential for giant killing (although, given the quality in the Cote D'Ivoire side and Portugal's notoriously schizophrenic performances in World Cup first rounds of late, it wouldn't be that great a surprise). But ... I can't see it. I would love it, if they did. We really need an African nation to start fulfilling the potential of the continent, and Cote D'Ivoire are the most naturally gifted side of all the African qualifiers. But, as last time, the draw's been unkind to them and Drogba's injury could be the biggest blow of all.
North Korea? What is this, 1966? Back to Pyongyang with you and please don't point your nuclear weapons in the directions of Lisbon, Rio and Yamoussoukro, thanks all the same.
And so, by logical process of elimination we come to Group H:
Spain? This time? Really? They've got the players. But they've had the players before. Many, many times. They've, supposedly, got the right attitude now. But, that's another one we've heard before. They've won the European Championships, so that'll have given then the confidence to do it at world level. Meh, they did that, before, in the 60s, and it didn't work then. Dunno. Really, genuinely don't know. They were a sight to see at Euro 2008. If they turn it on in this tournament it could be a case of sitting back and watching greatness. But, it's Spain. And, with that, comes uncertainly.
Switzerland will presumably do what they did last time, play Alex Frei in front of their back nine and play for penalties. Which they're, seemingly, crap at! if there's any natural justice, they'll go out, meekly, without scoring a goal in the first round as punishment for their part in the Ukraine non-event four years ago. More likely, they'll go out in the second round, on penalties, after four life-sucking 0-0 draws.
Honduras. Rank outsiders - were plucky and impressive the one time they've qualified before (long, long time ago, though). It's easy to get all patronising and say things like 'for them, the world cup is just being there' and they're certainly a better bet for the second round than, say, New Zealand or North Korea. But, they're likely on the first plane home.
Chile have some terrific players - Humberto Suazo in particular. If they can get one past Switzerland, they could make the second round.
Today, it's the Anticipation. Tomorrow, it's the real thing.
Group A:
There's something very wrong with the French this year. They're not all pensioners. That's worrying.
South Africa, I don't know much about - from the look of their squad they seem to be the weakest of the Africans but home advantage does tend to count for something (even Japan made it through the group stages in 2002). Mexico, usually a decent bet for the second round. Uruguay ... depends which one turns up, really, doesn't it? If the negative, petulant, nasty Uruguay then it's to be hoped they're on the first plane home. If it's the 'when we feel like it we can actually play' Uruguay then you want to see more.
I dunno, this is a tough group to call. I've a feeling France will do enough, then it's perm any one for the other three. Purely from a spectacle point of view, South Africa getting through to the last sixteen would be nice.
Right, Group B.
With Argentina, you can guarantee that at least once during the first three matches they'll turn it on, big-style (like they did against a very poor Serbia and Hugo Montenegro four years ago). And, when that happens, various media pundits will be lining up to get down on their hands and knees and lick the scum from the Argies collective crack and announce that we have just seen the 2010 World Cup winners and we might as well not even bother playing the rest of the tournament. Like Mark Lawrenson did four years ago. And then, they'll get beat off the Germans in the quarter finals. Like four years ago. And then, they'll lose their rag completely and start kung-fuing hapless bystanders. Like four years ago. It is written.
I like the Argentines, I really do - they've got some awesome players - but, the thing I like most about them is how they carry on when they get beat.
Of the rest ... Nigeria, bit of rebuilding process going on there, by all accounts, although they have got Mikel, and Yakubu, and Adeleye so they're no pushovers. Mind you, they've also got Danny Shi ttu as well.
It looks to be the worst South Korean team in at least four World Cups with - Park Ji-Sing aside - hardly any European experience. Mind you, any team with somebody called Lee Dong**** in their squad is worthy of a few minutes of anyone's time.
Greece just look ... ordinary. Just like they did in USA 94 when they got beat in every match. And, just like they did in Euro 2004 when they only went and won the damn thing! Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm going for Argentina and ... Nigeria. Just. But this group's even harder to call than the first one.
Group C
England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia.
Well ... England should win this one without too much difficulty. Which almost certainly means they'll do a 1986, lose to the USA, draw with the North Africans and go into the final match with some central Europeans knowing it's ¤¤¤¤-of-bust. And, then, lose to somebody on penalties (probably the Germans) in the quarter final. When people elsewhere talk about England's predictability, I kind of know what they mean.
America look to have a decent team, albeit, probably not as strong as they had in 2002 or 2006 (loads of experience, though). Algeria are Top 30 FIFA ranked as well so they're clearly no pushover. And Slovenia ... they've got some good players too (a lot of them play in Italy) and they qualified the hard-way. Ultimately, though, if England have any pretensions of actually winning this thing then they really shouldn't struggle to get out of this group. In the end, I've a feeling it's going to come down to what happens with Rooney. If he plays, England play. if he doesn't ... you lot have problems
Group D
If they had Essien I'd say Ghana had the best chance of any of the African nations progressing, but he's going to be huge loss. Germany will qualify. because ... they're Germany. After that, it's a real toss-up between the other three. I've a sneaky feeling the Aussies won't be quite as strong as last time. Serbia (along with their mate Hugo Montenegro) were a bloody disgrace last time - that 6-0 hammering by Argentina said far more about them than it did about the other lot's brilliance. Ghana ... mmm ... I really don't know with this one. Could go any way.
Group E
It depends - as always - on which Netherlands turns up! I mean, let's be brutally honest here, they're utter gits, the Dutch. Every tournament since 1974 they tease us and get our hopes up. And then, always, they let us - and often themselves - down. All right, except Euro 88, I'll give them that one. As recently at 2008, they were magnificent for two games and we all sat here purring thinking 'this is it, they've finally got their ¤¤¤¤ together,' and then they go and lose to Russia. So, I'm expecting what I usually expect from the Dutch - equal measures of brilliance and self-destruction. A stroppy walkout on the eve of the tournament wouldn't be unprecedented either.
As for the rest. Denmark - workmanlike, solid, reliable. Will probably be there or thereabouts. Cameroon - unpredictable, make-it-up-as-they-go-along, jazz. It's be lovely to see the Indomitable Lions roar again, but I can't see it somehow. Japan - rebuilding. It'd be a surprise if they made the next round.
Group F
The Azzurri will, of course, walk this one without even getting into second gear - which they don't do before the quarter finals. Or, they won't - which will be funny, as all Italian World Cup or international tournament calamities ('66, '74, or Euro '96) always are. Nice shirts, though, it has to be said. Slovakia or Paraguay for the second spot? Hmm ... could go either way on this one. Paraguay's chances largely depend on which Roque Santa Cruz turns up. New Zealand, of course, are going home on a big white aeroplane, but it's nice to see them back at the big table for the first time since 1982. (Isn't it just beyond ironic that the first time Australia don't play in the Oceania qualifying group, Oceania managed to get themselves a qualifier?!)
Group G
All lined-up for the Group of Death so, watch, now it'll be the Group of Sleep instead. Brazil and Portugal should qualify. If Drogba plays (and is fit) then the Ivory Coast's game against Portugal is the first round's one potential for giant killing (although, given the quality in the Cote D'Ivoire side and Portugal's notoriously schizophrenic performances in World Cup first rounds of late, it wouldn't be that great a surprise). But ... I can't see it. I would love it, if they did. We really need an African nation to start fulfilling the potential of the continent, and Cote D'Ivoire are the most naturally gifted side of all the African qualifiers. But, as last time, the draw's been unkind to them and Drogba's injury could be the biggest blow of all.
North Korea? What is this, 1966? Back to Pyongyang with you and please don't point your nuclear weapons in the directions of Lisbon, Rio and Yamoussoukro, thanks all the same.
And so, by logical process of elimination we come to Group H:
Spain? This time? Really? They've got the players. But they've had the players before. Many, many times. They've, supposedly, got the right attitude now. But, that's another one we've heard before. They've won the European Championships, so that'll have given then the confidence to do it at world level. Meh, they did that, before, in the 60s, and it didn't work then. Dunno. Really, genuinely don't know. They were a sight to see at Euro 2008. If they turn it on in this tournament it could be a case of sitting back and watching greatness. But, it's Spain. And, with that, comes uncertainly.
Switzerland will presumably do what they did last time, play Alex Frei in front of their back nine and play for penalties. Which they're, seemingly, crap at! if there's any natural justice, they'll go out, meekly, without scoring a goal in the first round as punishment for their part in the Ukraine non-event four years ago. More likely, they'll go out in the second round, on penalties, after four life-sucking 0-0 draws.
Honduras. Rank outsiders - were plucky and impressive the one time they've qualified before (long, long time ago, though). It's easy to get all patronising and say things like 'for them, the world cup is just being there' and they're certainly a better bet for the second round than, say, New Zealand or North Korea. But, they're likely on the first plane home.
Chile have some terrific players - Humberto Suazo in particular. If they can get one past Switzerland, they could make the second round.
Today, it's the Anticipation. Tomorrow, it's the real thing.
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Nice write up and made me chuckle, thanks. But does your boss know you've spent all morning writing your World Cup Diary?
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Nice to see you back again for this World Cup. Keep up the good work !
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Day 1: 11 June
Bafana Bafana v Meh-H-Ho Blatter's disgraceful brown-tongued opening speech resembled something from a Nuermberg Rally. Chiles' comments was almost as bad, instructing ITV's audience that we all had 'to be South Africa fans for the next ninety minutes.' Really? I understand the feel-good factor of a host nation - particularly one with a developing, and vibrant football culture - being successful, really I do. But, I hate being told who I have to support. So, I became an adopted Mexie out of sheer bloodymindedness. The Mexies, unfamiliar in dark blue, almost grabbed a dramatic opener inside two minutes but, thereafter, it settled down to a rather uninvolving first half, the highlight of which was when Jim Beglin's microphone briefly packed-in. Sadly, he got it fixed. Franco missed a free-header at one point and was so annoyed with himself he kicked one of the advertising boards. I imagine FIFA will give him a ten game suspension for that. If he'd kicked another player, he might not have even got booked. (Although, the ref was quite good, I thought.) The game got better in the last few minutes of the first half, to be fair - chances at both ends and Mexican goal chalked-off for offside. And then, it exploded into life early in the second half when Siphiwe Tshabalala scored a great goal after a sweeping four-man move. The South Africans played some delightful stuff but, you always had a feeling they were a bit defensively naive and, with quarter of an hour left Rafael Márquez, unmarked at the back post, only went and equalised. The Africans had a late chance to win it, but Mpehla hit the post. So - decent, unspectacular start. It took its time to get going but, once it got there, it wasn't without some charm. Goals: 2 Red Cards: 0 |
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Any thoughts on the high bounce of the ball GP? Seemed to be a genuine difficulty for the Mexicans.... although the Saffers seemed fine with it.
Also noticed that the ball didn't seem to fly quite as horribly as predicted.. it lifts then flattens in trajectory, could be some goals through both defensive mix ups with the bounce and stonking free kicks with the nice flight imo. |
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I'm hoping other teams cope with it better lori, as you said saffers coped ok and arnt the most skillfull of teams. Although as a self confessed fan of wingplay if the other teams dont do a better job than the mexican wingers I might need a new tv within the week.
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Sacre Blues v U-Are-Guys
BBC's opening coverage was tell nice - a video of Nelson Mandela's 'Rainbow Nation' speech set to images of the country. Then Gary Lineker did a two minute piece for the South African tourist board in front of table mountain. The BBC's 'sizzling summer of sport' kicked-off with a panel line-up of Gary, Hansen, Shearer and Emmanuel Adebayor bigging up the gaff. Hansen described the comically loathed-by-pretty-much-everyone Raymonde Domenech as 'a bit of nutter,' much to Shearer's amusement, Steve Wilson managed to talk all over Lee Dixon’s pitch side moment asking 'will we get a cue,' and there were lots of rumours of right stroppy goings-on in the French camp. Reasons why I wanted Uruguay to win this match: 1) Because, as Homer Simpson’s memorably noted, 'there's a country called U-Are-Gay.' 2) There strip is a very pleasing shade of light blue. 3) They're playing France. ... that's it really. Oh, and the presence of Thierry Henry in the French squad. Not, necessarily, because of the handball thing, I think the Irish have milked that a bit too much but, mainly, because he always seems to have that slightly scowling look on his face like he's just smelled some ¤¤¤¤ nearby. Every time we got a cut-away shot of him on the bench - looking bored - we also got a ludicrous tongue-rimming of 'the great Thierry' from Wilson and Lawrenson in the commentary box. Otherwise, it was a very uneventful first half. 'The last ten minutes has been a bit of a non-event' said Mr Hansen. That's being a bit over kind to the previous thirty five, frankly. 'A technical hitch' wiped out Gabby Logan's England report at half time. And then the second half just, sort of, dragged on. There was a bit of push-and-shove handbags, a disgraceful moment of licking from Steve Wilson when Henry came on and a half chance for Forlan. Malouda came on as well, a couple of Uruguayans got kicked and held up imaginary cards. Sterility ruled. If ever a game was crying out for a goal, or a fifteen man brawl, or a dog running on the pitch or something to liven it up, this was it. Lodeiro got sent off for a rather nasty ankle breaker on Bacary Sagna. Henry claimed a penalty, but it wasn't given then had a free kick in a great position late on and wasted it. That just sort of sums up the game. Too often they seem to want to walk it in rather than just have a shot. It reminded me for so many French performances in the last two World Cups. Hugely disappointing. Goals: 2 Red Cards: 1 |
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Goals 2?!
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for the tournament not the game.
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Ah. Sorry mate. Good read
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Good to see this legendary fred back GP, keep it up.
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The Relatively Sensible Part of Korea v Greece is the Word
'What do you think of Koreans?' Bob Ferris once asked Terry Collier in Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? as the pair tried to avoid hearing the result of an England football match. 'Sinister,' replied Yer Man Terry after a moment's consideration. 'Much like all Orientals.' 'Oh well,' noted Bob, 'that's a third of the world's population gone in a phrase!' I must say I very much enjoyed Jon Champion's intro on ITV in which he described Port Elizabeth as 'South Africa's motor city, a sort of Detroit by the sea!' And on a different continent, obviously. Chiles and Townsend weren't in evidence in the studio, meaning we got The B team of Matt Smith (no, the other one), Robbie Earle and a very uncomfortable-looking Edgar Davids. South Korea's national anthem shares a tune with North Koreas. Which could come in very handy one day. Greece's, by contrast, seems rather sensible, informing any enemies of the nation that 'I shall always recognise you/By the dreadful sword you hold.' Yeah, that's usually a good way of spotting enemies, I've found. I made the great discovery that by fiddling with the bass and treble controls on my amp, the vuvuzelas sounded marginally less irritating today. It took Champion exactly one minute and six seconds to mention Greece's current financial woes. And, a further three minutes before we got our first reference to feta cheese. As Aristotle once said, 'Όλες οι ανθρώπινες ενέργειες έχουν μια ή περισσότερες από αυτές τις επτά αιτίες: πιθανότητα, φύση, εξαναγκασμοί, συνήθεια, λόγος, πάθος, επιθυμία.' Which, I think we can all agree with, can't we? The Greeks started like eleven players who spoke eleven different languages (so, it couldn't have been all Greek to them) and, after six minutes, conceded a soft goal - Lee Jung-Su scoring after an inswinging free-kick should have been dealt with by Katsouranis. 'Hoisted by their own petard,' according The Other Smudger at half-time. The Koreans were neat, organised and lighting quick on the break whereas the Greeks simply never turned up in the first half. Thus, one was reduced to being impressed by the commentators' ability to say Papadopoulos without making it sound like he was ordering a large donar with fries at some kebab shop in Potter's Bar. The second half was more of the same, and it was no surprise when the Koreans got a fine second goal when Park Ji-Sung against pounced on a Greek defensive mistake. The New Zealand ref was a bit whistle-happy but didn't make any obvious calamities. In fact, the majority of the second half was devoted to wondering if Champion and Craig Burley were going to do the entire Abbott and Costello 'Who's the Manager' routine. It was eighty minutes into the match before Gekas produced a proper save from the Korean keeper (it was a good one, mind). To sum up, then. One team showing passion, commitment and a fair bit of guile, simply wanted it more and finding it easy as pi. The other, frankly, a hugely disappointing disgrace. Goals: 4 Red Cards: 1 |
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Allright Grav?
Just catching the start of the R-G game Diego going for the de niro-in-The-Mission-look I see |
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Arrrrrrgentina v Nigeria
Gary Lineker introduced Jurgen Klinsmann to the viewing public as 'Britain's favourite German.' Eh? Did we have an vote on that, Gary? And as soon as he handed over to the stadium, it got rapidly worse. Jonathan Pearce and Mick McCarthy, the commentary duo from hell. Horrible. Just horrible. Mercifully, BBC viewers experienced 'some sound difficulties' during the first half so, at least, we got an occasional break from Pearce's bellowing and McCarthy's pitiless, monotone drone. Nigeria's national anthem begins 'Arise, O compatriots/Nigeria's call obey,' which is a bit domineering and stern. Compared, however, to Argentina's stoppy-starty one, which sounds like a Genesis b-side, it's a little pop classic. 'Mortals! Hear the sacred cry/Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!' Cupcakes? Oh no, sorry, Maradona's eaten all those. Anyway ... what idiot had the bright idea of playing Jonas Gutierrez at right back? Oh, Maradona. Fair enough. Still, the Argies are, genuinely, a team of all the talents and that was further emphasised after five minutes when Heinze got a free header from a corner and bulleted it in. They then strolled around like they owned the place for much of the rest of the match, though Tevez was a bit anonymous in the first half and Messi was only brilliant in little flashes. At half-time were got more Garth Crooks. What, exactly, had we done to deserve that? The second half was a bit more open. Messi messed up a terrific Argentine four-versus-two break. Nigeria brought on Oba Martins to give them something more potent up front. But, that didn't work. And all the while Maradona stood on the touchline, mad as toast, arms folded and hand clamped under his armpits as if to hide a significant BO problem, scowling like the old woman down the road who threatened to burst your ball if it came in her garden. I mean, it was good stuff, in patches - the Argies barely getting out of first gear but still looking very classy, the Nigerians good in possession but with little punch up front. A Martins' shot after seventy odd minutes was the first real save Romero had to make. Speaking of goalkeepers, the best player on the pitch was probably Enyeama. Big and strong, I imagine he's put a couple of noughts on any potential transfer fee if Hapoel Tel Aviv want to cash in on him. Both sides missed good chances near the end but, ultimately, Argentina just had that little bit more up front. Goals: 5 Red Cards: 1 |
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Nations fav German hey grav
Tough one I Know mickey shoemaker had a huge F1 fan base |
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England My England v You-Ess-Hay
Missed, of course, all of the ITV build up to the England game as I was doing what all sensible people do on a Saturday night in Britain - watching Doctor Who. Thank goodness World Cup matches aren't decided on national anthems otherwise 'The Star Spangled Banner' would spank 'God Save The Queen' about 8-0. Even with the fourth verse taken into account! Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend - another commentary team from the land where misery rules. They only had three minutes to waffle, however, before Stevie G had the ball in the American net. Sexy start. It was all looking so good for a while - nothing spectacular but a reasonably straightforward game of absolutes and (reasonable) positives. And then, a few minutes before half-time, England had a goalkeeping calamity and, for once, it was nowt to do with David James. A relatively weak shot from Clint Eastwood (or, somebody) dribbled towards Rob Green who had an inexplicable Peter Bonetti moment and, somehow, a game that England had never looked in remote danger of being level in was, now, level. At half time, Chilesy tried to soothe a nation's furrowed bows with passive reassurance. 'The usual mixture of hope and horror.' Yeah, thanks mate, we got that. Andy Townsend, meanwhile, managed to lay all of the blame at Capello's door for 'all this messing around with who's the number one goalkeeper.' Except, without actually saying so and hurriedly adding, 'course, that's got nothing to do with the mistake.' Yeah. Thanks for that too, Andy. You're getting paid for this deep stuff, I trust? The second half progressed with a sort of nasty inevitability. Heskey got through one-on-one with Tim Howard and shot straight at the keeper. Green made a lot of amends saving point blank from Altidore. Lampard had a free kick in a dangerous position that he put into Row Z. Rooney narrowly avoided getting on the end of Wright-Phillips cross. England picked up unnecessary bookings and at least one wholly expected injury (King, unsurprisingly). Don't lose your first game is, of course, the first rule of World Cup club, so this is far from a disaster. But, it was an underwhelming, rather flat and one-paced performance against well-organised but not particularly outstanding opponents. And, it was easy to see which country was the most happy with the result at the end. England, eh? They never make it easy for themselves, do they?! Goals: 7 Red Cards: 1 |
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Shall reply as much as poss to this thread as I dont want it slipping off the forum, particularly as gubbed.com no longer is playing ball
Obviously living in wales of welsh parentage watched the game with eyes on the states Centre back pairing were immense, Gooch & de Merit coped well over all, the covering pair of Bradley & Clark not so good Ingerlund impressed me. Capello seems to have solved the Lamprd Gerrard conundrum by telling both to sit, which seemed to work. Heskey was immense Wayne Rodney largely anonymous as the US more or less kept him quiet, Bradley & Clark seemed more concerned with him than Heskey, FL or SG which I suppose makes sense Most glaringly obvious fact of the game is that Carragher is not up to international football. In truth he's not up to the EPL. Skinned by Altidore who's no world beater he really ought to have seen red for that arm across 'Harry' Findley which the ref conveniently overlooked. Had it been the other way round, you can easily imagine the english surrounding the ref etc Still what comes around... |
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Day 3: 13 June
Algeria v Slovenia The Algerian national anthem opens with 'we swear by the lightning that destroys/By the streams of generous blood being shed.' Almost certainly the only national anthem to allude to the very, very frightening qualities of lightning unless the Czech republic decide to start using Bohemian Rhapsody one of these days. The remainder of the anthem is devoted to all the other things the Algerians would like to do to the French. Much like 'God Save The Queen', in fact. Slovenia's effort, for the country that brought the world Laibach, is mercifully free of much jingoism. 'God's blessing on all nations/Who long and work for that bright day/When o'er earth's habitation/No war, no strife shall hold their sway.' Rite on, brother. And, also nice to know that, even in Slovene, 'day' and 'sway' still rhyme. The BBC pundits sounded, frankly, bored before this one. Well, let's face it, you would too if you had to sit through ninety minutes of Mark Bright with no possible escape. Speaking of whom, is that a gold lamé suit he's wearing in his BBC publicity photo? The game itself got off a pretty dreadful start. Not much of energy and endeavour and, even less in the way of actual goal mouth scrambling. It looked like two average championship sides trying not to lose in case they got sucked into a relegation dogfight. The best bit of the first half was the discovery that the Slovenian manager is called Matjaž Kek. he was a former part-time DJ and, so Simon Brotherton informed us, there was 'some disquiet' when he got the job with the national team. I wonder if that's because he's got a brother? And they're called the Keks? Poor old Brotherton - stuck in a box with Mark Wright for ninety minutes and with a match worse than France v Uruguay to commentate on. It's no wonder that, by the half hour mark, he was reduced to wittering on about the BBC World Cup website instead of describing all the action that wasn't happening on the pitch! At half-time, Alan Hansen (on his birthday) summed up a nation's thought: 'I should not be subjected to this sort of pain!' The second half, unsurprisingly, was equally boring. Zinedine Zidane, in the crowd, looked so bored I thought he was going to nut someone. The dullness reached its height when I spent ten second half minutes having a conversation with my mother about the electronic advertising boards around the pitch. No, really. Thirty thousand in the crowd nodded off in the afternoon sun. Ghezzal got so bored, he deliberately handled the ball and got sent off. And then, with ten minutes left, Robert Koren took a speculative shot from the edge of the box and the Algerian keeper, Chaouchi who'd looked pretty good so far, inexplicably dived over it. One moment of hijinx comedy that save this fiasco from being this year's Switzerland v Ukraine. Four minutes of injury time just seemed like added punishment. 'It's not been one of the great ones, has it?' asked Brotherton. You said it, mate. Goals: 8 Red Cards: 2 |
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Serbia v Ghana
'This one promises much,' Matt Smith (no, the other one) said on ITV. That just had to be bad news, surely?! Pre-match the Argentine referee was playing up to the cameras whilst Clive Tydlesley wittered on about all the crap you'd expect him to - 'clash of cultures, blah, blah, blah.' Then, we had a shot of some African in the crowd with, it seemed, his head on fire in a Crazy World of Arthur Brown style. Nice colour scheme for the Ghana keeper - lilac and slightly darker lilac with orange boots. The opening two minutes provided more passion, effort and skill as the entire ninety minutes of the previous game. Ghana had sprung a surprise leaving both Muntari and Appiah out - although the latter has been injured. Ghana strong and pacey, the Serbs counter-attacking effectively and everything going through wily old Stanković. No goals, but lots of good touches and invention. There were chances - good chances - at both ends but when Clive Tyldesley said 'there's going to be a goal soon, at one end or the other,' the game seemed to have 0-0 written all over it. And, that was the way it looked even after Lukovic was (rightly) sent off for a second yellow, despite his protestations of innocence. Banged to rights, my son. Then, seven minutes from time, a stupid handball by one of the Serbian defenders got spotted and Asamoah Gyan stuck away the penalty with some style. The could have had a second, Gyan hitting the post in added time. But, that was good. That's restored my faith in the World Cup's ability to be surprising and stylish. Africa arise! Goals: 9 Red Cards: 3 |
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Der Chermans v The Boys From Dahn Under (Where Women Glow & Men Chunder)
You really do wonder how ITV can get it so wrong, so often and on so many levels. A potentially fascinating discussion on European rivalries (specifically the Dutch and the Germans and the French and the Italians) between Viera and Davids was sabotaged by Chiles asking dumb questions and Keegan looking, frankly, bored. And, then we got yet another horribly patronising 'report' from Kelly Dalglish with a bunch of pissed-looking Aussies. I cannot wait until we get to the semi-finals and matches are being covered on both sides simultaneously so I can wave bye-bye to ITV's 2010 World Cup completely. Seriously, if Five were covering it, I'd chose them over ITV. It didn't take the Germans long to go ahead, Podolski netting from close range. Or, Klose range, if you like. They looked, pretty much like German teams always look - organised, efficient, brave, quick and not entirely with out flair or craft. And, bonus, they seem much younger than most German teams from the last half a dozen major tournaments. The Dad's Army generation of Ballack and co finally moving aside for some younger guys. Australia, unfamiliar in dark blue and without an abundance of flair players themselves, struggled to cope for much of the first half. And failed when Klose grabbed a second. Chiles asked the obvious question at half time, 'Is this the Germans playing well or Australia playing really poorly?' It was a valid query and, in truth, the answer was probably a bit of both (as Jim Beglin noted in the second half). Certainly the Germans looked good. Very good. But their ability to carve open, time and a again, a very static Australian defence (with an average age of thirty one) did suggest that the 'Roos might have somewhat contributed to making the Germans look just a bit better than they actually are. And, it got worse for them in the second half when Tim Cahill was sent off, possibly a bit unluckily, for a clumsy - rather than a malicious - tackle on Schweinsteiger. Thomas Mueller scored a third with twenty minutes left against, as Peter Drury noted, 'ten slightly shredded Australians.' Three became four when the very impressive Ozil set up Cacau. 'Sie gehen nach hause in ein großes weißes Lufthansa-flugzeug' as they say in Dusseldorf. So, ultimately, was that a game of men-against boys? Was it, like Argentina vs Serbia & Montenegro four years ago, a case of one teams making another, better, team look like world beaters when they, actually, weren't? The only way to find out, I guess, is to keep watching. I can do that. I'd like to do that. Goals: 13 Red Cards: 4 |
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Day 4: 14 June
Dutch Caps v Bacon Sandwich Rushing in from the shops and having to get some proper grub inside me to stop me from fainting necessitated GP to miss most the build up and opening few minutes of this one. Pity, as it features two of my favourite football teams (and, indeed, two of my favourite countries) in the whole wide, wide world. I missed, for instance, the gloriously mental, Netherlands national anthem with its fifteen verses and pledging allegiance to the King of Spain (true story). I missed the Danish one as well, with what is, undoubtedly, the most stirring opening couplet of any national anthem, anywhere: 'King Christian stood by the loft mast/In mist and smoke.' I also missed ITV's build up. So, no great loss there, then. Of course, it's always a question with the Dutch of which one is going to turn up - the glorious, free-flowing sons of Johan, Wim, other Johan, other Wim, Johnny, Ari, Robbie, Ruudi, third Wim, four Wim etc. In other words, magnificence in all things. Or, is it going to be the team full of the same players, full of quality and imagination, who seem to spend most of their time arguing with each other and threatening to piss off home. Every tournament since 1974, they've teased us, they've played with our emotions, they've 'oh yah, for schure, we do eet thish time, with the pasching and the schcoring and the sexchy voetbal.' And every bastard time, they lie (alright, except Euro '88, I'll give them that one). as recently as two years ago, in the last European Championhsips for two games they were awesome. I mean, mesmeric. And then they lost to Russia. They always do it. They're gits! The Danes, on the other hand, are just a kind nice friendly cousin, who always turn up to the big events, always do all right, always bring a tasty lady or with them and never outstay their welcome. I like them, I'd just like to see a bit more of them, that's all. The first-half was, I guess, what you'd expect. Slow, patient, but with mosts of outstanding skill and beauty. And some moments involved Dirk Kypt. And Dennis Rommedahl. So, it wasn't all great. In fact, in patches it was decidedly not great. ITV didn't even try to big it up but Edgar Davids seemed relaxed. To the point of being comatose. Soon as the second-half kicked off, the Dutch scored. Or, rather, Simon Poulson (who, of course, plays in the Netherlands for AZ 67) headed a van Persie cross into his own net. Which was funny. The game woke up a bit with the introduction of the tricky Eljero Elia but you always sensed the Netherlands had too much for some Danish representatives who had, unusually, little up front. A second half highlight, in fact, was a very amusing shot of one of the Dutch bench shouting 'oh schite!' when a deflected Wesley Sneijder shot hit the Danish bar. Kypt added a second late on, set up by the impressive Elia. Easy, peasy. And, indeed, lemon squeezy. Goals: 15 Red Cards: 4 |
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Rushing in from the shops and having to get some proper grub inside me to stop me from fainting necessitated GP to miss most the build up and opening few minutes of this one.
Wot no schky GP? You cannot be scherious. |
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Schky plusch
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Indomitable Lions v The Flaming Nips
The BBC opened their coverage with surprisingly (for them, anyway) patronising 'Land of the Rising Sun vs Africa in Miniature' video compilation which was, basically, an excuse for them to dig some Roger Milla footage out of the archives. That was followed by a potentially fascinating discussion on how 'totally boss' Emmanuelle Adebayor's shirt was, as compared to Wor Shearer's. Mercifully, we were saved from that going on for too long when the Single Best Moment Of The World Cup So Far happened. Adebayor's mobile phone went off live on air! Sackable offence that. Hopefully. |
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It's always very difficult not to be borderline racist about the Japanese, particularly when they've got a Matsui and a Honda in the team. Big Tosh Toshiba and little Harry Hyundai didn't make it, seemingly. So, for anybody - like me - thinking such disgraceful thoughts, it was very satisfying when Keisuke Honda went and scored. Jazz. 'I'd say it was against the run of play,' noted Mowbray. 'But there hasn't been much play for it to be against.'
Eto'o was having a 'mare but then, he wasn't alone in that. Cameroon were so desperate by the middle of the second half that they brought Geremi on! And yet, for all their lack of penetration they always seemed to be in with the vague chance of scoring against a very hard-working Japanese teams whose one major fault was a kepper not so much nervous of crosses as downright bloody petrified. Yet, as every second went by there were shots of Japanese kids in the crowd going absolutely effing mental. And then the dodgy keeper went and made the save of the game from Eto'o late-on. So, big surprise this. The sun also rises. Goals: 16 Red Cards: 4 |
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Bit of an edited one as for some reason I cant post the middle section.
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Forza Azzurri v Some Para-Guys
There's not many games of international football than can make me tear myself away from a very entertaining Twenty/20 game at Durham over on Sky. Actually, that's a lie, yes there are. But when one of the teams is the Azzurri that makes the pain somewhat less. Gary Lineker kicked off the BBC's night noting that recent Italian success has usually followed 'corruption, negativeity and pessimism.' Should that be all Italian success has followed those things (and, in some cases, including those things)? |
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He then introduced the panel (Hansen, Dixon and Seedorf - fast emerging as the BBC's bright new star) as 'nearly as old as the Italian team.'
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He went on to scotch the rumour that the Azzurri had held a minute's silence when they heard Last of the Summer Wine was finishing
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and ended a thoroughly entertaining little New Faces-style stand-up routine by noting that Paraguay's star player is usually their keeper,
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nope computer trouble will try posting the rest tomorrow
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Top thread this
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test test testicles...
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nope i'm getting error messages when trying to post copy text from my saved windows file.
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Ebony and Ivory Coast v Portuguese Men of War
ITV, predictably, began their coverage with a Ronalda love-spurt of quite disgraceful proportions. I mean, seriously, it was one step away from throwing him on the bed, smothering him in honey and then licking it off whilst moaning, erotically, 'oh yeah, baby, you're the greatest. Fill me with your love juice' As if that wasn't bad enough, twenty seconds into the match I got a blue-screen-of-death error message on my PC (the latest of several I've been getting of late over the last few weeks). So, I finally decided it was time to bite the bullet and order a new PC base unit. Knickers. That's three hundred quid I haven't got down the swanny. Anyway, hence I was on the phone to Dell for the next half hour and missed most of the first half. It was still 0-0 when I got back. 'No much to report. Some tetchiness, some pushing, some shoving and one post hit,' reported Peter Drury. Sadly, whilst it was Ronaldo who hit the post, it was, seeming, with the ball and not his face. Sounds like I didn't miss much, then! God, it must've been bad, Andy Townsend called it 'dire.' And he's someone who really knows all about that state of consciousness. Still, at least we got that funny 'did Belgium even qualify?' Carling lager advert at half-time. The second half drifted along for a while. Then Drogba came on and the crowd when effing bonkers. It didn't improve matters, however. For two of the undoubted flair sides in this tournament, this was very uninspiring stuff. Of course, Ronaldo had his ankles clipped at one point and went down like he'd just been the victim of knife crime. Satisfyingly, when he finally peeled himself off the turf and took the free-kick, it went well over the bar. How, you may well ask, can game that featured this number of quality players (and, we're talking about a good dozen at least whom anybody who knew a smidgen about the game would consider world class) could produce a match with so little in the way of actual quality. Good question. And one that's cropped up several times so far in the tournament. Maybe it is the ball? Or the vuvuzelas? Or fear itself? Whatever it is, this has been the worst World Cup opening week since 1990 without any shadow of a doubt. Too much fear all round. Goals: 20 Red Cards: 4 |
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Day 5:
New Zealand Lambs v Slovakia (without a cheque to its name) 'It's going to be an epic' said Gary Lineker, his voice dripping in irony. Talking about the teams New Zealand played to qualify Gary mentioned Vanatau, New Caledonia and Fiji before adding, 'I'm sure one of those is a volcano.' New Zealand actually have two national anthems, the lucky so and sos. There's 'God save The Queen' and, the one they played here, 'God Defend New Zealand.' So, no country for old atheists, then? The Maori anthem, persumably, is 'God Save Us From New Zealanders'? 'Lightning flashes over the Tara, the tunder pounds wildly,' begins the Slovakian anthem, positively. 'Let them pause, brothers, they will surely disappear, the Slovaks will revive.' Nice imagery. It took ten minutes before Simon Brotherton came up with 'who says there's no romance left in the World Cup?' the final cliche taboo, I reckon. 'What an awful passage of play that was between the two teams,' noted Brotherton after half-an-hour. He was talked about a thirty second period during which both gave the ball away but three times each, but it was actually a pretty accurate descritpion of the first half. Mind you, to poor chap had Martin Keown sitting next to him, that's enough to give anybody depression. He started talking about the weather at one point. 'Like a fine spring day in England. A nice breeze. Quiet pleasant.' Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a BBC football commentator was reduced to that. At half-time the BBC dug out a recent, rather good, Football Focus interview with Noel Gallagher to wake the viewers up. Then, we got a rather decent bit of reportage from the fan park in Johannesberg. Then, it was back to the lack of action in Rustenburg. To be fair, as Hansen noted, New Zealand were actually playing quite decently given their world ranking and the players at their disposal. Slovakia on the other hand, had been a huge disappointment and there was the confident prediction that they couldn't, possibly, play any worse. And, as it happened, they couldn't. A - possibly offside - Robert Vittek scoring early in the second-half. Keown chose this moment for a rather pathetic whinge about his own working conditions. 'We're in the studio at seven, we don't get to bed till gone midnight.' Well, if it's such a chore, you simean-featured horrorshow, quit and come home. I'm sure there's thousands of other not-particularly talented ex-professionals who'd be delighted to do the job instead. Ultimately, New Zealand worked hard and tried their best but had nothing up front. Proof that a lot of effort can get you to a World Cup, but won't keep you there. And then, Winston Reid went and scored in the last minute and threw the form book right out of the window! Football. Funny old game, eh?! Goals: 20 Red CARDS 4 |
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Forza Azzurri v Some Para-Guys
There's not many games of international football than can make me tear myself away from a very entertaining Twenty/20 game at Durham over on Sky. Actually, that's a lie, yes there are. But when one of the teams is the Azzurri that makes the pain somewhat less. Gary Lineker kicked off the BBC's night noting that recent Italian success has usually followed 'corruption, negativeity and pessimism.' Should that be all Italian success has followed those things (and, in some cases, including those things)? He then introduced the panel (Hansen, Dixon and Seedorf - fast emerging as the BBC's bright new star) as 'nearly as old as the Italian team.' He went on to scotch the rumour that the Azzurri had held a minute's silence when they heard Last of the Summer Wine was finishing and ended a thoroughly entertaining little New Faces-style stand-up routine by noting that Paraguay's star player is usually their keeper, with specific reference to José Luis Chilavert who, of course, scored eight international goals. 'That's one more than Heskey.' Ba-doom, tish. Thank you and goodnight Gary. He's here all week. A stirring rendition of Il Canto degli Italiani followed. 'Let us band together/we are ready to die/Italy has called us/ ... and we're playing five at the back using the offside trap, as usual.' Paraguayos, República o Muerte on the other hand speaks of the three centuries of oppression that the peoples of America suffered. Mercifully, this only lasts for seven verses. So, considerably less than three centuries. It just feels like it. Oh, Christ almight, Jonathan Pearce and bloody Mick McCarthy again! Have the BBC no pity?! The game, well, it was all going completely to pla for forty minutes - 0-0, a result that, you imagine, both teams would've been delighted with. The Eyeties had Rino Gattuso sharpening his scythe on the bench and, with a chance of a counter-attack always a possibility, it was starting to look very predictable. Then, Paraguay had a free-kick forty five yards out on the right, Aureliano Torres curled it goalwards amd Antolin Alacaraz got up above Fabio Cannavaro and Daniel de Rossi and thumped a header into the corner of the net. That woke everybody up. Except, interestingly, the Italians, who carried on for the rest of the half playing as though of a one-nil dfeat actually wasn't that a bad result. Although, their body language suggested one or two of them were losing their temper with each other. Never a good thing, either for the Azzurri or any poor hapless sods they happen to be playing. The Italians, as a consequence, sent for Di Natale and Camoranesi and prepared for war. From a corner, De Rossi equalised. After that, it was all Italy, with some nice cut-away shots of Paraguayans in the crowd praying. But no further goals. Goals: 18 Red Cards: 4 |
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The Boys from Brazil v Pyongyang p'tang Kipperbang
ITV, inevitably, did their fully expected tongue-rimming intro for Brazil - all references to 1970. And 1982 which Gareth Soutgate claimed was his 'first memory of the World Cup' - I feel young. Chiles - whose turn it was, it would seem, to wear ITV's lone pink shirt - told us it was a 'parky old night,' which was understood by all of three people in ITV HQ. The rest were probably wondering 'how much are we paying this chap?' At the stadium, of course, it took Tyldesley less than thirty seconds to mention North Korea's 'appalling human rights record,' no doubt to some sage nodding of heads in Islington. Because, of course, Brazil's military dictatorship which governed that country between the early sixties and the late seventies (you know, when they were winning World Cups) were all a bunch of ****cats, weren't they? For God's sake, ITV stay away of political comment, you're bloody crap at it! Then we got a long conversation about how cold it was and ... not much action on the pitch. 'It's no walk-over for Brazil,' Tyldesley told us, as though that was the biggest surprise in world football since Billy McCracken invented the offside trap. And the Koreans harried, and snapped at Brazilians heels and were first to every fifty-fifty (and most sixty-forty) balls and, generally, gave the impression of being really rather unimpressed with a bunch of blokes in yellow shirts living on - it could be argued - past reputations. And, the longer in went on, the more you sensed Dunga's men were getting rather pissed off with this fiasco. I, on the other hand, was getting rather pissed off with Tyldesley's deliberate over-pronunciation of 'Kaka.' Inevitably, after about an hour of faffing around, Brazil eventually scored. Quite a good goal it looked, too, on first viewing, Maicon appearing to swerve one in from a narrow angle. Actually, after about four replays it was pretty clear it had been a cross-gone-wrong, which sort of summed up the game thus far. But, still, the atmosphere felt as flat as an open can of lager after three days in the fridge. Luis Fabulous missed a glorious chance to make it 2-0 before Elano finally did quarter of an hour from time. Floodgates? No. Quite the opposite in fact and in the last few minutes, The International Communist Conspiracy scored their first World Cup finals goal since Goddison Park in 1966. It wasn't enough to cause a surprise but it was, perhaps, on Day Five, the first point at which this World Cup's icy exterior began to melt a touch. Even in a world of sponsorship by corporate multinational greed, football can occasionally surprise, it would seem. Goals: 23 Red Cards: 4 |
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Blue Spanish Eyes v The Swiss Misses
On the BBC, Gary Lineker set the ball rolling for this one with a perfectly weighted hospital pass. 'Howard Webb. Alan, you're a big fan, aren't you?' Ice promptly formed on the upper reaches of Mount Shearer. So, we reached the thirty first and thirty second teams in the World Cup. One, the perpetual underachievers of world football who, in the last two years, finally appear to have got their shat together and started playing like we always knew they were capable of. The other, Switzerland. As in Switzerland vs Ukraine in 2006. As in, Oh God! Not Switzerland Again?! Jonathan Pearce pulled out every Spanish cliche you can think of short of 'ole!' in his introduction. ('March of the Toreodors', El Dorado' etc. etc.) Spain's national anthem is, of course, famously, an instrumental. The 'Albatros' of anthems, if you like. Switzerland's anthem does not, contrary to common belief, mentions cows, goats, chocolate or cuckoo clocks (which are, actually, German anyway). Oh, ninety minutes of Switzerland and Mick McCarthy. There. Is. No. God. As it happens, the first half was pretty much a non-event. Spain were, of course, beautiful in possession - as has been noted elsewhere, they're not invincible, they do have some flaws at the back but, for anybody to exploit them, first you've got to get the ball off them. And that's often the really tricky part. But, for all their swagger and poise Switzerland stood big and tall and strong and essentially stopped them from playing. They're good at that. As those of us who sat through the game against Ukraine will, frankly, never forget. In fact, the highlight of the half for me was being amused by Pearce's inability to pronounce 'Senderos' the same way twice in succession. The BBC did their best to big it all up at half-time, Seedorf taking aobut movement off the ball and Shearer reminding everyone that it only takes a second's lapse of concentration and, like a shark, they'll bite you in two. It was worth turning in for the start of the second-half to hear McCarthy using the phrase 'kung-fu kicking.' Those cats were fast as ... stuff. Of course, the one thing that one was absolutely certain of was that Switzerland wouldn't score. Switzerland promptly scored! Gelson Fernandes poking one in after a scramble in the area. Remember, it only takes a second's lapse of concentration and, like a shark, they'll bite you in two. Spain were clearly rattled. They brought on Torres and Jesus. You know a team's in trouble when they turn to The Lord for a bit of saving. And, you know, quality crosses. Alonso hit the bar but, at the other end, the Swiss were giving it some an'all and big, awkward, gangly, Derdiyok hit the post on one of their - quite regular - counter-attacks. As McCarthy noted, they'd defended deep, pressed the ball and were fit, strong and hard-working. 'They're not as good players as Spain so they've got to find other ways of winning. If they try to play football against them, they'll get beat.' It's ironic, when we got a match of stonewalling defence, it actually brought out the almost lyrical and poetic in Mick McCarthy. Almost. Five minutes of injury time, Howard Webb clearly believing he was officiating at Old Trafford. it was desperate stuff. There were lots of half-changes and some niggly fouls and a Swiss head on every Spanish ball into the box. Switzerland held firm. Like their banks. There'll be dancing in the vaults of Geneva tonight. And the lonely goatherds will be nervous. Goals: 25 Red Cards: 4 |
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Soud Afreeekka v U-Are-Guys
The Rainbow Nation versus the least colourful team in world football. This should be ... grey. Taking place, of course on a significant date - the anniversary of Sowato - gave the match a potential weight of polemic that, one felt, could have been counteproductive. But, I have to say Garth Crooks did a - really rather decent - piece on the history and, cutting back to the studio, a stony-face Gary Lineker noted that, not that many years ago the BBC's panel for this game (including Emmanuel Adebayor) 'would not have been allowed in this country.' See, this is the necessary difference between the BBC and ITV. When the BBC do this sort of thing, it has some gravitas, some depth. Some dignity. When ITV do it, it ends up trivialised, patronised and followed by Andy Townsend. South Africa opened brightly, though a long-range shot from Tshabaladingdong that sailed over the bar was described as 'a bit Hollywood' by Mark Lawrenson. Then, Uruguay came, belatedly, to life with a most unuruguayan-style performed full of skill, pace and passion. Where'd that come from? Diego Forlan scored to shut the crowd up with a deflected shot from distance. Thereafter, he was the best player on the park by a distance for much of the rest of the match. Lawrence again: 'Forlan's running this game. He could play in his slippers, nobody's getting anywhere near him.' The second-half continued with a kind of tedious predictability, broken only with South Africa brought on a substitute. That was a Surprise. I can wait. Then, with ten minutes left, Khune fouled Luis Suarez in the box and the referee gave the penalty and sent the keeper off. Both, seemingly, correct decisions. Forlan dispatched the spot kick with a kind of disdain tha, if only momentarily, shut up the vuvuzelas. Which was both novel and welcome. And so, the careful built house-of-cards of South African's feel-good start to the tournament - and how great it was for the future of all mankind - was blown down in seconds and reality kicked the nation, hard, in the Jacob's Cream Crackers. We got TV shots of locals streaming out of the stadium muttering to themselves, the fickle public speaking, both loudly and clearly. Failure, is not an option. Football is not a matter of horns and drums. It's much more important than that. In injury time, Forlan and Suarez combined to set up Alvaro Pereira for the third. Uruguay, the Millwall of international football. No one likes them, but they don't care! Goals: 28 Red Cards: 5 |