just casually waiting on some cash

Could be Thrush.

Have you tried Veet -- the Men's Hair Removal Gel Creme

(as posted on the Amazon review site By John W. Osborne Jr. on 30 July 2012)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits.

Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.

I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...

So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect....... :-

eldar

did you post this before i remember reading this or something similar a few year or so back

Stroodle and other fungally affected forumites.

The nuclear option here requires you to have a yellow toenail, if you go to the docs and tell them that you have tried all the paint on and filing type solutions they will give you a 6 month course of anti fungal tablets (needs that long for the toenail to grow out)

The happy side effect is that all other fungus on your body gets blitzed and there is no re-infection, you can weear sandals etc again and you dont have to describe intimate details to the doc.


win win win.

I have only had this scratching of scrotum for about 4 months, wouldn't say its a constant itchy feeling tends to only feel slightly itchy when I'm trying to get a kip in bed. Knew something was wrong so checked on internet to find something which would stop the itch at night, ordered a few anti fungal creams online, as Ive never seen a doctor for about 30 years, plus the fact felt to embarrassed to go to doctors with itchy scrotum. Creams didn't work in the slightest, so decided to bite the bullet and see doctor about it. He gave me timodine cream for the problem, and have to say it seemed to work instantly no itchiness what so ever, the small tube of cream lasted just over a week and everything was perfect for roughly 3 weeks after treatment finished, then felt it starting to come back to the odd itch again at night. All through this time with treatment was washing covers, towels, ect. So couldn't work out why it came back when everything seemed fine for a while, so went back on internet to try to work out what went wrong, as I wasn't planning on going back to doctors again. Internet mentioned the fact that you need to wash all your stuff at high water temp with bleach added to the washes something I didn't do, so maybe this was the cause of jock-itch coming back. Made another appointment with doctor for next week hopefully get this timodine again, as this stuff is the only thing that seemed to work. Will update thread if this time successful, otherwise might just have to dip my balls in heavy duty drain cleaner

Canesten cream is what you need,OP.

Has worked better for me than other anti-fungals.

apple cider vinegar - cup in bath soak yer self fur half oor. do it laddie.

shop for cider vinegar, the bottle rarely says apple on it?

zorrostrikes will give it a bash.

Just thought I'd post after seeing doctor Wednesday, he put me on a new ointment hydrocortisone/miconazole and after 1 day's treatment things looking very good. Ive to use this cream for roughly fortnight, but as mentioned things looking really good after 1 day, no feeling of itching when I was trying to get a kip last night, this seems to be the only time previously when I knew something was wrong, so just a change of ointment seems to have solved problem straight away. Will keep a few of the other tips on thread, just to make sure this doesn't come back again. Might even start picking winners with focus on punting rather than on my knackers