Chit Chat
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07 May 16
05:18
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Date Joined:
25 Jan 02
having just told his wife that there were 1 billion cubic mm's in a cubic metre and 1 quintillion in a cubic kilometre his wife said did he know the average density of the universe was less than 1 hydrogen atom per cubic metre. to witch he smiled and said
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WALOFS
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THE END
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"Do you know any spells to make my wife disappear, and where's your familiar?"
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im tired hun im off to bed. are you coming?
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No, and I've got a headache.
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I think I'll stay up and look some more through the telescope at Uranus
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At that the witch mounted her broomstick, circled the chimney pots twice and flew off in the direction of the moon.
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And the husband looked at the moon, and its light hovered over the surface of the lake, and the countless stars overhead,
And he thought he may swim out. |
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The sky was in the lake and he saw the shadow of his wife on her broomstick, more floating than gliding.
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Do you know he thought the water does not know what is reflected in it, it is made up of millions of atoms with nothing between them...obviously.
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How do those atoms do that! and what is between them if nothing, i don`t know.
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Then he thought about the atoms that make up his body and came to the same conclusion.
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No wonder the witch can fly, he said to himself, she's using air turbulence to provide the uplift, but what will happen when she approaches the moon?
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Then it started raining carnivorous frogs and he panicked and swam towards the shore lest he be eaten by them.
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Luckily the witch saw through her big telescope and turned the frogs into Princes Ham
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Ahahaha, cackled the witch, I'll reach the barsteward a lesson for introducing turbulent flow into my equations.
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The tins of ham bounced off his head causing considerable bruising.
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And the husband and wife laughed, and held each other close, they had underestimated the peace and calm of everyday life
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They kissed and took each other home, which was rather nice
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And so our story has a happy conclusion.
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Thats the main thing, now the weather will be nice tomorrow.
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And that 'Sense and Sensibility' is a better read.
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"What's sense and sensibility all about then," 1 enquired.
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At which point the universe looked at the unfolding story... the talking about atoms and quarks and decided that intelligence had to be wiped out. NO SENSE OR SENSIBILITY about it. A huge meteorite was redirected using gravity and was swung into the path of earth's orbit. All the scientists screamed and all the sane folks said... thank f@@k it's all over. The madness is all over.
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But a group of people did survive this....they were the betfair chit-chatters... we're still here!
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He looked up and noticed a tinned pie in the sky
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It was a Fray Bentos Pie! The chit-chatters favourite! Hooray...they would be able to eat that night
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(Just to say I would never eat a Fray Bentos Pie. Ok, carry on)
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As the Fray Bentos pie approached ever closer, it slowly transformed into a spaceship full of Eva Herzigovas in their present form ...
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Why are you getting excited the wife asked her husband?
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He thought it best not to answer
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All things considered our husband had good self control.
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That is a very beautiful space woman she said
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He was alert enough to tell the truth and agree
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The beautiful spacewoman said she had come to earth to breed with earthlings.
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The husband thought would it be right for humanity to reproduce with a beautiful Eva Herzigova from outer space
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