Hi AFTERTHOUGHT...
having visited Thailand more than 20 times (lost count) ..been going on and off since the mid 19080's just love the place !
I wandered into the "no hands bar" in Patpong ...what a laugh..can you imagine I was sitting next to an American girl in her late 20's skirt up around her waist also getting some treatment ...
We normally do 2 -3 weeks in Pattaya (we have mmany friends there) ..then a few days in Bangkok...staying either at the Oriental, or Shangri-La ...(and Royal Cliff in Pattaya). 
I mean having breakfast on the Terrace at the Oriental overlooking the Chao Phraya river watching all the long tail boats zooming about ...life doesn't get any better than that !
(at the time the Oriental Bangkok was voted the No.1 Hotel in the World).
Then trip up river in a long tail boat to the crocodile farm/zoo.
We also visit Pantip Plaza for all the electrical goodies, computer software etc ..and the World Trade Centre for shopping...plus few other places ..also wife loves the shopping at the evening Patpong market.
If I'm there with some of my local mates ..Nana Plaza, Soi Cowboy or good old Patpong at night.
As I play guitar ....I also play guitar in a Band (stand in) in Pattaya the say ..Ahhh it's Eric Crapton cos I play wonderful tonight...

Bangkoks similar in size to London. Plenty to see and do besides the local brass

Yes Rock I have had many good times there - like you I have forgotten how many times I went and some of the mad things I got up to.

Couldn't afford to stay in the hotles you are talking about - I went more native - On Koh Samui I had a wooden hut for £2 a night, just a bed and a fan but it was right on the beach and near the 'shroom' restaurant'. Used to stay in guest houses (small hotels) up Sukhumvit road area, near Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy.

I used to travel all over, buses, trains, mini bus or planes (when I had the kids with me as some bus trips were 10+hrs and they suffered with travel sickness), all pretty inexpensive.

Many years ago I went to an Island called Koh Lanta, nothing there but a few bungalow resorts, no transport on the Island, you just asked someone for a lift, small island and a coule of roads. It was new year and everywhere was full, no rooms until after new year - guy who gave us a lift inhis pick up said he had a beach bar and we could sleep there if we wanted to - it was just a beach bar, wooden shack Thai style on the beach.

After two nights we found a room, just a fan room, whole place was powered by a generator which was switched off at midnight, great fun after midnight, no electricity, not even the fan, everyone had a tilly lamp to walk around - also spent two nights is a wooden shack built by some Aussie guy who came and never went home for 3 years, it was derelict in the jungle but a girl at reception knew where it was took us there, me and my Thai girlfriend at the time dossed there for a few nights, 30Baht a night, all we had was a wooden bed - great fun trying to light a tilly lamp p*ssed and trying not to catch the hut or jungle on fire, I would do it all over again if I had the chance

I'm Okay in Bangkok now as my in-laws live there, they take us out locally and it's really cheap, one night I paid £10 for all four meals and we ate a lot.
Trouble is I can't afford to go - I am saving as best I can, wifes mother is very old now, she has only seen her two grand-daughters once when they are about 18months old - and my eldest is now 19yrs. Thai women are emotionally tough as nails.

I do like Bangkok but end up very tired after 3 or 4 days - its less tiring now cos I am unable to be wild like I used to be, I have still got it in me to give it some but my misses knows the score as most birds in Thailand do and will not let me out of her sight.

Lads in the pub never believed me that you could tell the wife you were just popping out for an English newspaper early morning, have a quick jump and then be back before she'd had time to get dressed (I expect quite a few European wives have fallen prey to that tactic) - the lads belive me now they have been and seen it for themselves.

I have mate with a Thai wife who has been out threre a long time now, he is doing the English teaching thing, never had any qualifications other than being able to speak English, got a job at a local University through a friend of a friend, no work visas or things like that required. He's still there and has no plans to come back.

My nephew has also been there for 5 years, he is working in a hotel on Phuket - all his Uncles stories must have infected him, he actually went and lived in Jomtein beach and got his diving qualifications, he can teach if he wants to, but he then took one of those TEFL courses to learn to teach English, they sent him up North to a few Thai schools to teach after he qualified but was not a Thailand veteran and thought it was too quiet, also he did not have a Thai girlfriend at the time which I thought would have been better for him.

Anyway somehow he got a job at this hotel (friend of a friend again I think), he is customer liasion manager, he's a sort of middle man between the guests and the hotel staff. Does'nt pay well but lives there and has no intention to come back, nothing here for him but debt and a police state. He's met a nice Thai girl (I never met a bad one out there) and is getting married on Samui in March - wish I could afford to go but I just can't afford it now with a whole family to pay for.

The no hands bar I mentioned was in Pattaya, I forget where exactly, I think it was near So Post Office or maybe near Soi 6 up past the middle road.

I know Patpong, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy - I wish I could find my old photos, I remember my firt visit having my picture taken outside some go-go bars called '**** Alive' and '**** Galore' somewhere in Patpong but I am talking about 1990 here.

My fIrst visit was for my 30th birthday, f*ck me I was well away, talk about putting the Fox in charge of the Chickens. Many a time I have woken up somewhere in Bangkok and I had no f*cking clue where I was - just jumped on a motorbike taxi back to the hotel. Have woken up in some real weird places.

Woke up one morning, looking around all I could see was that I was in some corrogated hut, it was like a greenhouse, bird was still asleep - I jumped out of bed and walked across to what looked like a window, I pushed the two wooden shutters open and all I could see was a Shanty town, rows of wooden huts with corrogated roofs. The bird offered to take me back to my hotel on her bike, to get to it I had to walk along all these plank walkways between the houses, Bangokok is a bit like Venice, it's gradually sinking. This place was relaly liek somethign you see in the movies, its great when you walk through these kind of places as the locals are all looking and laughing at you.

Got to the hotel and asked for room key and they said my mate had checked out and had taken all the safety deposit box stuff with him, we were on a tour and I forget that we had a coach transfer to Pattaya. There I am with 100Baht, no passport, no f*ck all and I did not even know where or how far Pattaya was.

The bird spoke good English, in typical Thai style she said 'Mai Pen Ly'(No Problem), she took me to the coach station (Ekamai) on her bike, she explained there was acoach that went to Pattaye, 3 hrs and the fare was 90Baht - f*cking unbelievable, if I had been skint I dare say she would have paid for me - thats the kind of people they are.

Of course there are bad Thais but like most countries the majority are good people.

I often stayed with a girl for the whole trip on later visits, it has a lot of benefits, visited many girls homes in the real Thailand, mostly up North East cos that's the poorest area and that's where most girls come from. Really nice up there (my wife's from up there), quiet and friendly, although one time near Khon Kaen the police came and questioned me, girlfriend said they were suspicious I was up there for drugs, they never get tourists up there. Wherever I went many had never seen a foreigner (farang)before, every where I went you kept hearing 'farang','farang', I am sure you know it's not an offensive term.

Money goes a lot further when you are out of the tourist resorts, lucky to spend a fiver on beer and 5 meals a day in mother in laws town.

I fell out of love with Pattaya one day when some wide boy pulls up on a scooter, a foreigner trying to sell me a boat trip, the Spanish Magaluf type wide boy selling booze cruises -  just walked away and left him there, ****, Thailand has all that already, its nothing new to them.

It was not all Roses, Thailand killed a mate of mine, I should say he killed himself, he was ex merchant navy, divorced, heavy drinker and loved ladyboys (the one I mentioned below called 'New'), he would go to Thailand between shifts on the boats, new ladyboy everytime until he did actually I think fall in love with 'New'.

He died of Hepatitus, I never knew if he contracted aids or not, never asked him and he never said, he always came to see me when he was back in UK, he liked the wife to cook him Thai food. F*ck me he was thin, not skeltal but not the guy I used to go to Thailand with (he's the guy who crashed the motorbike we were on when I broke my leg)- I was in hospital bed ridden and visitng hours were anytime of day (TIT), most nights he would come to hospital to see me and bring his latest ladyboy with him, also brought some beer awell).

I am not talking about 21.00 here, I'm talking about 03.00 am in my room. Ladyboy pouring me beer and fussing over me, great fun, sure do miss those days and my mate Dave, sad really as I only found out after he died that he was at a hospice where we live, his twin brother came to tell me he had died, of course I was disppointed at not seeing Dave before he died but his bother said he did not want any of the 'lads' to see him dying at the hospice, his wishes so fair play o him, selfish of me to say I would have liked to see him before he left, but I have the memories of the crazy times we had together, and they really were crazy.

Strange thing his twin brother told me was that Dave had given him a letter for his wife, strange I thought he's been divorced for years - but Dave had apparently married his ladyboy in Thailand and she would not know he was dead - his brother sent the letter and gave me a copy to take to her if by any chance I could find her, I knew roughly where she used to work but did not expect her to be there if she was now maried (I was taking my 18month old daughter to see her grandparent etc in Thailand), Dave's brother Alan was concerned the letter might not get there, I was asked to go to the bar where she worked to see if she was there, it was a bar at the top of Patpong, top  of second street I think, memories fading.

Never did find 'New' she was either off with some bloke (cynical me) or back home, I believe she went home as Dave earnt really good money and his brother told me he had given 'New' money to build a house back home - in thailand you can buy a house or just buy land and build your own house, a Thai has to own the land. The working girls and boys do not realy want to be doing what they do, many do give it up when they find a 'keeper' but many also lie and milk three or four boyfriends at once for money.

Sawadee Pi Mai !

Guess we probably all are premier. We can't all be heroes like you darling

kisses sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you all that ugly or socially inept that you cannot meet a nice girl at home and have to basically go and buy one"
Wot a Plonker !

guess i touched a nerve with the durty aul lads who have to pay to get their willy wet

Has anyone mentioned NOT to buy ant precious stones in a once in a lifetime deal yet?

Jimmy also likes it in Pattaya - mate who lives there has a photo with him at Tims bar on the beach road, just up from Soi post office. Quite a few of the snooker brigade end up in Patatya after the China Open.

You can guarantee anyone who mentions how sad you are having to pay for it has definitely not been and experinced the land of smiles.

I defy any married man to go there alone, for whatever reason and not get stuck in - its no different than buying a bird drinks and food over here, you are still trying to s*ag her - land of smiles saves all the false sentiment and bullshit chatting up - two consenting adults conducting business - thats capatilism I believe.

My opinion is its much more fun than sh*t holes like Amsterdam and Hamburg, the western worlds attempt to mimic Asia. In Hamburg the bird will light a cigarette, place it beside the bed and you've got to be done and gone before the ash falls, or else your fighting bouncers - great fun.

I do like culture but not as much as beautiful women telling me how gorgeous, big, generous, strong, virile, hung and handsome I am.

Ah I see unless you're a sex tourist going to a poor country to take advantage of shockingly poor women who have to sell their body to make money you're an ignoramous and no fun That's your justification

Good man mobo, how sad is it that you have to travel halfway around the world and pay to get the ride

Just keeping the economy bubbling !

Just look upon it as a tip for being a tour guide rather than a payment.

Sure it's freebie night for new year - can't quite remember, maybe I was lucky and she just forgot to charge me - or maybe I was just so gooood - hey ho!

exactly, some on here probably haven't even thought about the dentistry.

**** happens, when I was there it was usually drug related, bangkok and outskirts of pattaya for tourists - also the islands - it was not rife but has probably gotten worse as more druggie youngsters from Europe learned about the full moon party and such. Have to say I can't remember anyone taking drugs, maybe they were but I just assumed they were pis*ed like me, drugs and those beautiful girls don't go together, mind you there were girls on drugs but it seemed to bars in certain areas.

A lot of people don't realise but their is an Arab section right down the bottom of town, those hypocrites are there drinking, shag*ing and doing drugs. Most girls won't go for them as they are gang bangers, it used to be a lot of older girls who were past their sell by date - girls who were prepared to take it up the chutney locker by a rag head.

It's never been quiet but 20 years ago it was much better - I wouldn't go to a main tourist spot now - I'd go more local, 'Going ****' I used to call it - I just can't master this PC thing.

Kanchanaburi (River Kwai)little bit touristy but you are in the Jungle.

Chiang Rai (not Chiang Mai)

Nong Khai (you can usually get into Vientian in Laos for a day without a Visa - You think Thailands cheap and has beautiful women then get a load of Laos.

Life is not valued much in Asia, you can get someone murdered quite cheaply, guns are easy to buy, there were shooting just outside Pattaye in Chin Buri but its quite a way from the tourist part of Pattaya, its a big town.

The cost in the old days to have a farang killed was about 10,000Baht- about £250 at that time which is not much to us but a fair bit to a lazy drug addicted Thai man.

If you buy the local papers you see all sorts of violent murders, they don't hold back on the pictures, allthe blood, snot and guts is shown. I remember one page where you could see a dead body on the road behind the police officer who was at the front of the picture holding the driving license up to the camera so the actual magazine page shot was a picture of the dead guys driving license with his dead body and bike in the background - subtle !

Pictures of people with there brains blown out were quite common, a lot of murders in the poorer villages. Whenever I was at mother in laws I was always on my guard even though I could see no immediate threats my wife knew there was and told me not to walk through certain areas alone.

Were all gonna die someday, my buddy Dave died doing what he loved, easy to say but in hindsight he knew what he was doing, I think the human mind is a strange thing, no matter what we do that we know its dangerous or bad for us yet we still do it believing we are immortal and we'll be alright, it won't happen to us.

I have to admit that I am probably lucky, yes we all know you should bag up when out riding but when your pissed you become even more invincible and I have had quite a few bareback rides out there so am just lucky, didn't get away completely clean but seemed to avoid the big one, crazy really but I think inside us we all have a death wish, we know it's coming one day and some of us don't mind if comes a little early as long as we've had a good go at life.

Sad but a fact of life.

I remember sitting in a bar one day watching TV and they reported it all kicked off the first time with Iraq, we were all thinking about if we would get home cos we stupidly thought we had to fly across Iraq. Still that **** going on now, unbelieveable really - there we were up to our nuts in it and a couple of thousand miles away there was a f*cking war going on.

Spookily when they caught Saddam in his hole I was at the airport in Thailand waiting for a internal flight, saw it on TV, of course I was p*ssed and saw one of those tacky dancing dolls in a shop at the airport, it was Saddam, beret, guns, knives and grenades, he would dance and sing Hey Macarena - I bought him but my wife couldn't see the joke. F*ck knows where he is now, I can't even remember bringing him home from Thailand, he was quite big, I think he must have been hand luggage and I left him onboard, probably worth a few quid now, memorabilia for a sadistic collectors item.

Mikael d'argeant  I went to Thailand as a 28 year old single male and had a ball doing what most 28 yr olds do so pls don't insinuate that I'm some sort of weirdo. There's a good chap. I take it you have never been there yourself ? If you had I very much doubt you would be making such pathetic comments.  I can't even be bothered to go I to the mechanics of how Thailand works as a country but it is not based on young girls sleeping with dirty old men for money .

How does the gorgeous premier know all about this when he SAYS he has never been there??  Do you think he has been spurned by the lady boys??
I really don't like the lies and aspersions he spreads though.  Just wondered what evidence he has that I have paid for sex in Thailand??

Talking about paying for sex, I wonder how much it costs him to keep a wife or girlfriend - but we daren't call that PROSTITUTION as us feminists often call marriage etc.  Glory boy has never paid for sex, except he has shelled out tons on girls to impress.

He is a lovely boy

Thailand ...Land of smiles and full of surprises...
So here was I riding a motorbike between Pattaya and Jomtien at dusk ...coming from the opposite direction ...something quite wierd ..as it got nearer I saw it was two mopeds mincing along strapped between them  - a phucking double wardrobe.
Only in Thailand ???   
Every day a different adventure/experience...

Very traumatic AFTERTHOUGHT...I also went through torture in Pattaya - but not nearly as bad as you ..
I was walking down the walking street (in Pattaya) and about half way down I was accosted by a Thai Lady who insisted that I must go to the "Diamond Beach" massage (torture) parlour.
Oh my God ...I was bundled inside taken to a dimly lit room made to undress and with a ceramic tiled bath in the middle and a Lilo on the floor ...was this going to be the "famed water boarding" I'd heard of ?
Anyway a scantily clad female about 20 years old came in looked at my quivering naked body ...and told me to get in the bath, turned on the Taps and went out again ???
I was on my own ..naked in the bath ...pretty soon the bath was overflowing so much so the Lilo was floating around the room.
What am I supposed to do ???
Anyway shortly after ...the beautiful young Lady re-appeared and ordered me to get out of the bath ...and lay on the Lilo !
She then completely stripped off ...and covered herself head to toe in "baby oil" provactively rubbing the baby oil all over her body ...including well into her "private parts" ...she then dived onto my naked body and girated all over me in every conceivable position.
Was this the famed "body to body torture" I thought ...I was completely helpless! 
I think my poor litle chap be-grudgingly entered all her holes ...it was sheer phucking pleasure ...sorry torture
What was she doing to me ...I was traumatised ....will I ever recover from this ???
She then told me to get dressed ...I had to pay a small ransom - they then let me go....
I keep asking myself ...did this traumatic event really happen ...or was it all a bad dream.
I'll have to go back ...re-trace my footsteps - see if it happens again !

A Thai hooker exploiting you. The irony!

People just don't understand Rock - It was worse than f*cking Guantanamo Bay and those luck f*ckers got to keep their clothes on.

I went to the Police to file a complaint, but they just laughed in my face, they merely tarred me with the same brush they used for all the genuine s*x tourists.

If it happens again I won't know what to do, it's not safe for me in Thailand so I think I will go to Manila instead, surely it must be safer there.

ANOTHER EXPERT ON THAILAND WHO HAS NEVER BEEN THERE