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The Bhoys
21 Aug 14 22:30
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Date Joined: 18 May 08
| Topic/replies: 40,841 | Blogger: The Bhoys's blog
Hi guys, im looking to do a CV for a few jobs tomara, Could anyone please tell me in order of how a layout should be? Or even post me a link of a CV layout? Just looking brief layout as i havent really made many up

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Replies: 84
By:
tictacman1
When: 21 Aug 14 23:13
http://www.reed.co.uk/career-advice/blog/2014/january/basic-cv-template

plenty of info here and a template to download

http://www.totaljobs.com/careers-advice/cvs-and-applications/which-cv

plenty of cv  template choices here

Good Luck with Job hunting
By:
The Bhoys
When: 21 Aug 14 23:17
Thank you very much, i will get stuck into it tomara mate
By:
trilby22
When: 21 Aug 14 23:18
You'll find a few tips here Bhoys ...

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/6ab1868281/jobson-jobsworth-s-comedy-cv-resume-and-covering-letter

Maybe pass a few onto Chaser ... if he's not busy with his catalogues.
By:
call me a taxi
When: 22 Aug 14 00:27
Any gaps where you were

1) in prison
2) at jobs for such a small amount of time and don't want to declare them
3) when you were working illegally
4) anything other gaps you want to cover up

just find the name of a firm that went bust, and stick yourself down for 10 years there.

Cool
By:
Bergkamp93
When: 22 Aug 14 04:05

Aug 21, 2014 -- 6:27PM, call me a taxi wrote:


Any gaps where you were 1) in prison2) at jobs for such a small amount of time and don't want to declare them3) when you were working illegally4) anything other gaps you want to cover upjust find the name of a firm that went bust, and stick yourself down for 10 years there.


Cool

By:
Facts
When: 22 Aug 14 06:02
Don't - whatever you do  - include a photo of yourself !

And remember, a cv should be no longer than 2 pages of one side only entries.

A typical ' read life ' of a C V by a prospective employee is about 30 seconds.
So short, pithy and to the point entries.

Start with a short paragraph on what your work ethic is and what you can bring to the business.
Followed by bullet  points of career to date( by dates)starting with most recent.
Keep qualifications to the point.
Eg 10 GCSE passes at A and B) is all that's req. not every one detailed ( I.e Cooking or R I )

Keep it short about yourself. One line on interests is enough. Not half a page on each of your hobbies !

Last but not least  READ THROUGH your CV checking for typos etc. then! CHECK AGAIN.

I've read through hundreds of cvs in my time in business. Any  with spelling mistakes went straight in the bin.

You're looking for someone who is conscientious  and has attention to detail. If they can't even be bothered to check that their CV is correct, then they're not of the right stuff.
By:
rob_dylan
When: 22 Aug 14 06:35
The job centre should help upu.  Wont they?
By:
irishone
When: 22 Aug 14 06:41
"You're looking for someone who is conscientious  and has attention to detail. If they can't even be bothered to check that their CV is correct, then they're not of the right stuff"

WAFLOB ..... how come prospective parliamentary candidates get the jobs then ?
By:
Ramruma
When: 22 Aug 14 07:06
how come prospective parliamentary candidates get the jobs then ?

Public school, Oxbridge, and double-checking the spelling on their CVs.
By:
call me a taxi
When: 22 Aug 14 12:12
Start with a short paragraph on what your work ethic is and what you can bring to the business.
Followed by bullet  points of career to date( by dates)starting with most recent.
Keep qualifications to the point.
Eg 10 GCSE passes at A and B) is all that's req. not every one detailed ( I.e Cooking or R I )


I am honest, diligent, punctual and if you treat me right, in about a year, I'll let you keep your job.

1951 Born.
1969 Became a man.
2014 Still here, doing the bizzo.

Exams studied: All the core subjects.
Exams passed: None.
Exams taken: None.

Gissa job, or your wife finds out about the woman you meet in town on Saturdays.
By:
Clerkmore
When: 22 Aug 14 12:19
It is not looking good for you if your opening post is anything to go by. Too many errors in spelling and punctuation.
By:
The Bhoys
When: 22 Aug 14 13:34
If u say in prison u have no chance of the job
By:
Ramruma
When: 22 Aug 14 15:13
If you say you worked in a betting shop, you've not got a much better chance.
By:
The Bhoys
When: 22 Aug 14 15:54
peter barlow seems an ideal candidtate, jail and worked in a betting shop
By:
DartsnBooze
When: 22 Aug 14 18:30
The Bhoys, my CV was fine tuned by the clever people at the Work Programme. (I think they made it worse).

Before they got their claws on it i saw an independent adviser, recommended to me by my then dole advisor.

The same applies when you don't want the job. You apply for jobs beyond your skills so you can put down the five jobs or however many you have to apply for in a week, so as to not face sanctions.

The whole thing is ridiculous really.

My dole agreement is to apply for a minimum of One job per week - part time.

Good luck.
By:
TheChaser
When: 22 Aug 14 21:00
i made one this week first one i ever done and , said i worked at places for six months and a  year ans so when  in reality i was there a few weeks in some

most dont check as long as you dont tell too much sh1te
By:
call me a taxi
When: 22 Aug 14 21:40
DartsnBooze
22 Aug 14 18:30   
My dole agreement is to apply for a minimum of One job per week - part time.


If you keep applying they may find you a crap job.

You need to ask the correct questions in order to get turned down: 

1) If your prospective boss is an asian ask 'Can I get time off to go to BNP rallies?'

2) If your prospective boss is English white, ask 'I'm a muslim, is there a prayer room here?'

3) If your prospective boss doesn't care if you're a BNP member or a muslim, ask 'What are the fiddles like?'

or

4) 'Does that fit bird in reception do a turn?'

or

5)'It must be my lucky day, just 2 days out of prison after serving 7 years and I get an interview just like that.'
By:
Facts
When: 22 Aug 14 22:34
WALOFS
By:
The Bhoys
When: 22 Aug 14 22:46
Its not for dole its for actual jobs ffs
By:
call me a taxi
When: 22 Aug 14 23:07
It makes no difference what you write.

If they deign to give you an interview, you will be either 'in' or 'out' in the first 30 seconds of it, the rest is all waffle.
By:
Cobblaz
When: 22 Aug 14 23:13
It makes no difference what you write.

Oh yes it does! What you write will determine whether you get an interview. Or do you think they throw applications in a hat and do a lucky dip?
By:
crags
When: 22 Aug 14 23:19
Sad times for Glimmer on here. I remember when he came across as quite intelligent, these days he seems a bit of a knob. And it pains me to say that.
By:
call me a taxi
When: 23 Aug 14 11:58
Cobblaz    22 Aug 14 23:13 
It makes no difference what you write.
Oh yes it does! What you write will determine whether you get an interview. Or do you think they throw applications in a hat and do a lucky dip?


Well I've seen some pretty intelligent people on here over the years who would more than qualify for most jobs.

But I've also seen people post 'If the CV has spelling errors, or isn't written in black ink, it goes straight in the bin.'

And if you get an interview based on your CV, it's odds on you won't be the only one attending.

What you wrote was roughly the same as all the others who are getting an interview.

How you look and speak will get you the job, or lose you the chance, in under a minute. 

For example, I know all there is to know about the betting industry concerning horse racing. I would attend an interview smartly dressed. But with what are described as my 'dulcet tones'Surprised as well as being partially deaf, you wouldn't want me answering the phone for you.

Some people will do whatever it takes to land a job. I can change my usual scruffy appearance (I hate shaving) for an interview, but I'm facked if I'm going to abandon my cockney accent.

And if I never got a job because of it (never happened) it wouldn't have been my loss.
By:
Crisp77
When: 23 Aug 14 12:04
If you are not the cv writing type then ask around your network of friends and family. They may know of an opportunity and recommend you for an interview or trial without going through all the formal stuff.
By:
call me a taxi
When: 23 Aug 14 12:07
Or lie through your hampsteads, the same as everybody else.
By:
brendanuk1
When: 23 Aug 14 12:24
depends what level your going for, road sweeper you can pretty much say what you want, no one gives a sh1te. But job with skills, then lying will just make you look a complete knob in the interview.
By:
call me a taxi
When: 23 Aug 14 12:33
Do you believe that every CV ever submitted is 100% honest?
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 16:33
Pumphol, where is your input on this thread?
By:
call me a taxi
When: 23 Aug 14 18:49
Where did you spring from on a thread like this? Laugh
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 19:37
Laugh just returning a jab to the chin taxi.
By:
pumphol.
When: 23 Aug 14 19:43
If it was a CV on how to be a racist troll I think your input could be significant.

People have written over the years how someone is probably trawling the thread in his pants & vest in a dingy bedsit somewhere in the inner cities, never really thought of anyone actually being that way but over the weeks you have changed my way of thinking on that score Cool
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 19:48
racist troll me??Cry

Below the belt pumphol, i certainly hurt you with that upper cut, was that The Tipping Point?Laugh
By:
pumphol.
When: 23 Aug 14 19:53
Looks like your feasting well off this tiny morsel, & you say your not a troll LaughLaughLaughLaugh
By:
erse2
When: 23 Aug 14 19:55
1998 - 2014 - piiiiiiiiiiiiiiishhhhed
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 19:58
The classic troll uses the racist lure, well you got me there pumpholLaugh

I hear that when you was circumcised they brought in the face doctor!Laugh
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 20:01
erse

Just say that you was travelling, they will never check.
By:
pumphol.
When: 23 Aug 14 20:04
You do like to hammer home the point, as all racist trolls do so well.
By:
Angel Gabrial
When: 23 Aug 14 20:08
I will give you a chance to re-post this racism that you accuse me of pumphol.
By:
scandanavian_haven
When: 23 Aug 14 20:11
American format CV (nap)
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