A CV layout?

http://www.reed.co.uk/career-advice/blog/2014/january/basic-cv-template

plenty of info here and a template to download

http://www.totaljobs.com/careers-advice/cvs-and-applications/which-cv

plenty of cv  template choices here

Good Luck with Job hunting

Thank you very much, i will get stuck into it tomara mate

You'll find a few tips here Bhoys ...

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/6ab1868281/jobson-jobsworth-s-comedy-cv-resume-and-covering-letter

Maybe pass a few onto Chaser ... if he's not busy with his catalogues.

Any gaps where you were

1) in prison
2) at jobs for such a small amount of time and don't want to declare them
3) when you were working illegally
4) anything other gaps you want to cover up

just find the name of a firm that went bust, and stick yourself down for 10 years there.

Aug 21, 2014 -- 6:27PM, call me a taxi wrote:

Any gaps where you were 1) in prison2) at jobs for such a small amount of time and don't want to declare them3) when you were working illegally4) anything other gaps you want to cover upjust find the name of a firm that went bust, and stick yourself down for 10 years there.

Don't - whatever you do  - include a photo of yourself !

And remember, a cv should be no longer than 2 pages of one side only entries.

A typical ' read life ' of a C V by a prospective employee is about 30 seconds.
So short, pithy and to the point entries.

Start with a short paragraph on what your work ethic is and what you can bring to the business.
Followed by bullet  points of career to date( by dates)starting with most recent.
Keep qualifications to the point.
Eg 10 GCSE passes at A and B) is all that's req. not every one detailed ( I.e Cooking or R I )

Keep it short about yourself. One line on interests is enough. Not half a page on each of your hobbies !

Last but not least  READ THROUGH your CV checking for typos etc. then! CHECK AGAIN.

I've read through hundreds of cvs in my time in business. Any  with spelling mistakes went straight in the bin.

You're looking for someone who is conscientious  and has attention to detail. If they can't even be bothered to check that their CV is correct, then they're not of the right stuff.

The job centre should help upu.  Wont they?

"You're looking for someone who is conscientious  and has attention to detail. If they can't even be bothered to check that their CV is correct, then they're not of the right stuff"

WAFLOB ..... how come prospective parliamentary candidates get the jobs then ?

how come prospective parliamentary candidates get the jobs then ?

Public school, Oxbridge, and double-checking the spelling on their CVs.

Start with a short paragraph on what your work ethic is and what you can bring to the business.
Followed by bullet  points of career to date( by dates)starting with most recent.
Keep qualifications to the point.
Eg 10 GCSE passes at A and B) is all that's req. not every one detailed ( I.e Cooking or R I )


I am honest, diligent, punctual and if you treat me right, in about a year, I'll let you keep your job.

1951 Born.
1969 Became a man.
2014 Still here, doing the bizzo.

Exams studied: All the core subjects.
Exams passed: None.
Exams taken: None.

Gissa job, or your wife finds out about the woman you meet in town on Saturdays.

It is not looking good for you if your opening post is anything to go by. Too many errors in spelling and punctuation.

If u say in prison u have no chance of the job

If you say you worked in a betting shop, you've not got a much better chance.

peter barlow seems an ideal candidtate, jail and worked in a betting shop

The Bhoys, my CV was fine tuned by the clever people at the Work Programme. (I think they made it worse).

Before they got their claws on it i saw an independent adviser, recommended to me by my then dole advisor.

The same applies when you don't want the job. You apply for jobs beyond your skills so you can put down the five jobs or however many you have to apply for in a week, so as to not face sanctions.

The whole thing is ridiculous really.

My dole agreement is to apply for a minimum of One job per week - part time.

Good luck.

i made one this week first one i ever done and , said i worked at places for six months and a  year ans so when  in reality i was there a few weeks in some

most dont check as long as you dont tell too much sh1te

DartsnBooze
22 Aug 14 18:30   
My dole agreement is to apply for a minimum of One job per week - part time.

If you keep applying they may find you a crap job.

You need to ask the correct questions in order to get turned down: 

1) If your prospective boss is an asian ask 'Can I get time off to go to BNP rallies?'

2) If your prospective boss is English white, ask 'I'm a muslim, is there a prayer room here?'

3) If your prospective boss doesn't care if you're a BNP member or a muslim, ask 'What are the fiddles like?'

or

4) 'Does that fit bird in reception do a turn?'

or

5)'It must be my lucky day, just 2 days out of prison after serving 7 years and I get an interview just like that.'

WALOFS

Its not for dole its for actual jobs ffs

It makes no difference what you write.

If they deign to give you an interview, you will be either 'in' or 'out' in the first 30 seconds of it, the rest is all waffle.

It makes no difference what you write.

Oh yes it does! What you write will determine whether you get an interview. Or do you think they throw applications in a hat and do a lucky dip?

Sad times for Glimmer on here. I remember when he came across as quite intelligent, these days he seems a bit of a knob. And it pains me to say that.

Cobblaz    22 Aug 14 23:13 
It makes no difference what you write.
Oh yes it does! What you write will determine whether you get an interview. Or do you think they throw applications in a hat and do a lucky dip?

Well I've seen some pretty intelligent people on here over the years who would more than qualify for most jobs.

But I've also seen people post 'If the CV has spelling errors, or isn't written in black ink, it goes straight in the bin.'

And if you get an interview based on your CV, it's odds on you won't be the only one attending.

What you wrote was roughly the same as all the others who are getting an interview.

How you look and speak will get you the job, or lose you the chance, in under a minute. 

For example, I know all there is to know about the betting industry concerning horse racing. I would attend an interview smartly dressed. But with what are described as my 'dulcet tones' as well as being partially deaf, you wouldn't want me answering the phone for you.

Some people will do whatever it takes to land a job. I can change my usual scruffy appearance (I hate shaving) for an interview, but I'm facked if I'm going to abandon my cockney accent.

And if I never got a job because of it (never happened) it wouldn't have been my loss.

If you are not the cv writing type then ask around your network of friends and family. They may know of an opportunity and recommend you for an interview or trial without going through all the formal stuff.

Or lie through your hampsteads, the same as everybody else.

depends what level your going for, road sweeper you can pretty much say what you want, no one gives a sh1te. But job with skills, then lying will just make you look a complete knob in the interview.

Do you believe that every CV ever submitted is 100% honest?

Pumphol, where is your input on this thread?

Where did you spring from on a thread like this?

just returning a jab to the chin taxi.

If it was a CV on how to be a racist troll I think your input could be significant.

People have written over the years how someone is probably trawling the thread in his pants & vest in a dingy bedsit somewhere in the inner cities, never really thought of anyone actually being that way but over the weeks you have changed my way of thinking on that score

racist troll me??

Below the belt pumphol, i certainly hurt you with that upper cut, was that The Tipping Point?

Looks like your feasting well off this tiny morsel, & you say your not a troll

1998 - 2014 - piiiiiiiiiiiiiiishhhhed

The classic troll uses the racist lure, well you got me there pumphol

I hear that when you was circumcised they brought in the face doctor!

erse

Just say that you was travelling, they will never check.

You do like to hammer home the point, as all racist trolls do so well.

I will give you a chance to re-post this racism that you accuse me of pumphol.

American format CV (nap)

Have not got to look far, the circumcision joke which may I add was not funny, I like a Jewish joke as much as anyone, problem is you use it to try to provoke, a very big difference in my book,  but if your that way inclined that would  easily pass you by.

Travelling is a good 1 ag

Judaism does not have the monopoly on circumcision pumphole, no idea how that joke was racist. It was more uglyist than racist. You are all over the place with this racism accusations.

Obviously you are not in the right emotional state of equalibrium to have a debate on the Israel/Palestinian crises. If you are from Jewish lineage which i was not aware of, then how can come into the argument from a balanced perspective.

I am still waiting for the racist posts you accuse me of.

Sorry your thread has been high-jacked The Bhoys.

I am being accused of racism here, i won`t be putting Pumphol down as a referee.

Think you started it by the way, anyway my last post on here as your correct this has been hijacked, as for the racism I am not going to start trawling the forum but one  post that did stick out  when I read it was a load of anti semitic bile from irish C, Bazaar & Flush & then you chipped in with some comment for some reason which hardly  seemed a response from someone who is not on their wave length in my opinion, but you have just said as  I'm Jewish I have no right to be making a comment on the many threads that have been written in the last month or so, not sure you would say that to someone who was of the Islamic faith on the subject, anyway off to watch some TV I'll let you get on with it.

It seems that you are falling on your own sword here pumphol, you have zero evidence for your accusations of me being racist, even this is pure fabrication..

but you have just said as  I'm Jewish I have no right to be making a comment

I said no such thing. I said this If you are from Jewish lineage which i was not aware of, then how can you come into the argument from a balanced perspective.

Hence the reasons behind your accusations of me being racist. You can only agree with the pro Israel posters pumphol, i am pro neither side. What upsets you pumphol is when i mention Israeli atrocities, and am not shocked by Hamas executing so called collaborators. I did however state that it should be a war crime. This is balance pumphol, you accusing those of who are not Israel lopsided of racism, is poor form. But if you are looking from from a biased viewpoint, then it is easily explained.

How has a thread on CV's turned into a debate on racism and the middle east conflict only on the betfair forums

Lovely tribute to god of the unemployed jeremy kyle.

Scandy

My original post on this thread was just to wind pumphol up because pumphol was on the quiz show The Tipping Point a year or so ago and he suffered a brain fart with the question "What does C.V stand for?" he didn`t know

Then he starts throwing all this racist ponk at me! talk about reaching tipping point!

I often wonder how people on these quiz shows, like pumpy and SF, get to appear on lots of them? What makes them stand out on their application form? Noel Edmonds seems to be fussy though as I've not seen them on that.

Maybe they are tax inspectors. They love to have them on so the audience can boo them.

The Bhoys,
have you sorted your CV yet?

I think he is too busy filling out his game show application.

They take allsorts.

The Bhoys, are you there fella?

Any news/Updates?

My last WP task was to write down a list of part time vacancies, take them to my advisor who would then apply for them for me (whilst i sit there)?

I wrote down two. (One being my minimum requirement).

The job she went with was part time (15hrs) at my local Corals. Yep, the bookies of all places!
It took her/us over 1 hr to complete? (Who was i to ask her why she had to fine comb every word/sentence, then change my CV and take an age with the Cover Letter (all appreciated).

My next task word for word..."dnb will find one job with an online application and bring this to the next meeting (3 weeks time) on xxx. We will again apply for it in the meeting."

The job she went with was part time (15hrs) at my local Corals. Yep, the bookies of all places!

I sent my CV to William Hill years ago when I first moved up here. I wanted something to pass away the afternoons.

Customer Service Assistant (cashier) in a small town is a piece of piss after being a manager for years in the east end of London.

They give you a recorded test over the phone by asking you questions, and you have to press buttons to give the answer of your choice.   

Example: a customer is swearing and being rowdy in your shop.
Do you:
1) Ask him nicely to be quiet
2) Tell him to shut up
3) Phone the police

There was no option 4) Let the manager deal with it

After all, that's what he/she gets paid for.

You have to give the answer they want, which is obviously option 1)Ask him nicely to be quiet.

Iirc, there were 50 questions with a time limit.

You then wait for the operator to come back on the line and speak to you. She told me that my pass mark was high enough for an interview, and that the area manager would call me in 2 or 3 days as he's very busy at the moment.

I waited 4 days before I phoned back. I was told that the area manager was very busy, but would phone me shortly.

3 days later I phoned again. This time I was told that the vacancy had been filled. I asked how this was possible as I had not had my interview yet. She said the area manager would phone me soon and that he was very busy. I told her to tell the area manager not to bother, and it was their loss, not mine.

A few weeks later after two or three visits to the shop, I spotted the new 'Customer Service Assistant.'

She had certain attributes that I was unable to offer, namely, big tits.

Her sister was the other cashier, and they knew as much about horse racing and odds as I know about astrophysics.

Where is the branch and is she single?

LOL 77.

And in their lies the reality of today's "Customer Service Assistant."

"Do you know anything about the betting industry?"

NO.

Congratulations, you've got the job

According to the website agency 10 people have applied for the job.
I applied for a job with Hills last year which like the Corals one took an age to fill in the online application.

Following the automated email reply saying i was unsuccessful i sent an email to head office asking to explain the reasons in the form of a "constructive rant,"  as i felt i was a most suitable, worthy candidate. Like CMAT, it was their loss.

They never replied!

I showed my then ESA advisor the said email rant for which she commended my positivity?

Must dash as i have a 20 minute window in which to hand in my "Drop and go sheet" to the Job Centre or i'll become another statistic of the benefits sanctions.

A most relevant song for The Bhoys and the rest of us "job seekers."

The Last Resort - "Never get a job"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AJ0mBp-a-w

Crisp77
01 Sep 14 21:49   
Where is the branch and is she single?

Wisbechistan.

really there should no such things as BENEFITS, you should nit be allowed to claim money that you have never earned, it's basically THEFT, and then people have the AUDACITY to MOAN about sanctions, there are plenty of jobs out there you are just not looking hard enough

In the interest of fairness I would just shoot anyone over 90 and refuse medical attention to anyone over 85.

No'12, I will rise above the bait.

However, I rarely think of the life of non luxury i could lead when the compensation that isn't forthcoming doesn't land on my doorstep.

As for The Bhoys, his non posting speaks volumes. The fella must be slaving away on 12 hr shifts...Good lad!

I went for an interview a few years back at some company and noticed that the environment seemed a bit "laddish".

Towards the end of the session the interviewer said to me, "do you have a maxim?"

I said, "no, but I did buy FHM last month"

it's not bait darts it's an opinion, you should't be taking tax payers money, money you didn't earn, it's not yours.

More humane to shoot the unemployed than let them starve or freeze to death imho.  Although in the interest of fairness we'd have to shoot all convicted petty criminals first, plus anyone who couldn't afford to pay back the cost of accidental damages.

I have paid taxes for 25+ years (got a tidy pension lined up too) and never once in that time has it concerned me how other people choose to live.

By the way, I had what I thought was another spam call this afternoon...0203
I missed it as i was lapping it up at the leisure centre - Jacuzzi/Sauna etc... (put that in your pipe No'12).

Just checked the number online to add it to my spam list and it's only Coral.
I checked my emails and i've been short listed...Only applied yesterday!

I suppose Coral will phone me tomorrow with a bunch of Q&A's before deciding whether to consider me for an interview?

You're claiming dole money, you are a thief.

Excellent news. Been on the blower with Coral jobs rep. I'm an ideal candidate blah blah blah. Interview next week

Nice one, good luck.

Thanks Ken

wear a wonderbra


GL

D n B if u class trading tennis as slaving away on 12 hour shifts then fair play but i aint working

The Bhoys, don't let No'12 see your post

Email...

Hi dnb

It was great to talk to you earlier and further to our recent conversation, I am delighted to confirm the details of your first interview, which are as follows:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Interviewer: Anthony Hopkins – Cluster Support Manager.

Kind regards,
Joe King - Coral Resourcing Team


Joe King and Anthony Hopkins - What could possibly go wrong?

he wants to eat u NAP

Please note, the interview will take approximately 30 minutes and will be an informal ‘getting to know you’ session, talking through your CV and giving you more information about the role. There will also be some competency based questions around our core business values.

Can I please ask that you arrive 15 minutes prior to your interview and that you dress smartly, ideally a suit.

I guess my darts shirt won't be fetching enough on this occasion?
My charity shop for a 24hr loan of a suit it is then.

i dont have a suit d n b, can u really get them in a charity shop?

The Bhoys, If charity shop suits is a genuine question - Yes.

I have worked in my charity shop for over a year...the official term being "Volunteer."
A quick tip...know your measurements before going to charity shops for clothes

I picked up many quirky collared shirts for my darts tourneys for a couple of gold coins at a time.

An aside - Gary Anderson pissed me off when he wore the ripped off ""Foul Fashion" shirt for a season long sponsorship.

I paid top dollar for the Original "**** Shirt" long before he even heard of FF. People called me a copy cat when i turned up at an xmas tourney looking like a ****. I didn't care (obviously) and nailed 3 bulls in a row that day

Practically new shoes...new trousers...etc...Once you get past the thought it could be a dead man's attire you learn to not care less where it came from.

I pay £3.75 (25% staff discount) for a pair of black trousers...£30+ on the high street.

If you haven't guessed yet, i'm not into buying clothes. 1 pair of jeans is plenty.

Remember, charity shops, like all retail shops want your money. You'll find the staff to be helpful and supportive, not piss taking.

Who knows, you may even have an urge to start volunteering in said shop, providing check ups on your past don't show you to be a psychopathic lunatic.

And if you're looking (or not), there's always plenty of ladies popping in and out.

Clothing charity shops are the new high street shop!

Take a trip to town tomorrow and treat yourself. Granted the tennis will be on through the night. Another tip, the shops will be busy with totty between 12-1, workers on their hour lunch break.

Anything else?

I worked in 1 on community service, i have to say i was mightily suprised by the uality of the stuff they recieve

I worked in a charity shop (cancer research) when at college,

We used to get a lot of books, a teenage girl dropped by one morning to drop some hardback books off, and they were taken to the back to be sorted out but weren't given priority as the the tagging, and steaming of cloths were, later on the dad came by all flustered and panicky "where are they" he said, telling us his daughter came by with books and he wanted them back , we soon realised why, he has thousands hidden inside them

Dim12 spreading the love here too.

Bell end.