My neighbour is noisy

howdi , trust me if you thump him all his mates , hangers on , neighbour idiots will become involved . i have a friend who has attracted this same situation now and her boyfriend is very handy . that is what they want . watched too much eastenders .

to be fair Windsor I don't think I would have that problem but point noted.

Heavy porn it is

I wish howdi.

Seriously it is a good option, because if they keep doing it they will get a visit. But it will pis him off bigtime.

Cheers sonko (hope you're well) I want to annoy them abit too, bit petty I know.

I had a noisy neighbour once, she would be at it at all hours. one day, I knocked on her door and asked if she had any tissues spare, she came back with a bundle, I said thank you, and by the way, can you turn your bedroom noise up.

It worked, no more noise, but i never dared return with a new packet of kleenex.

I lived near a weirdo who lived with his 80yo mum, the only sound i had at the time was the pc or the tv which you can only just hear from another room in my home.

MC

try playing classical music ,call to  prayer recordings maybe ? ...anything remotely 'highbrow' will have them scuttling back in their onesies .

If you are irritated by noise you will not want to go to prison. Acoustic bang bang central.

So avoid shooting them in the face if you can.

But if you are not scared of him or his bula, then go around again and put it to them more firmly that if it carries on then you will n ot be responsible for your actions. If it continues, play psychological warfare with them. Get into their heads that you are a bit radio rental with a glint of madness in your eyes.

do you know how to make a smoke bomb with a piece of foil and a ping pong ball?

I think I little bit of a verbal threat may be better than a good hiding.

Make sure you shave an eyebrow off before the next visit too.

move!..........I've had it believe me nothing will help, stop worrying about scrapping with ****s next door get out and free yourself of the stress, I did it was the  best thing I ever did.

Some of it may not even be them, many places nowadays the sound proofing is completely **** even if somebody else moves in it may not help much.

Leave!.....get out as soon as you can, don't hold on to it like a dog with bone refusing to give it up........get out as soon as possible!. It can and will affect your health I started suffering high blood pressure, never ever got a nights sleep.

take a dumo on their doorstep

take a dump on their doorstep

Is he bald Howdi? I could imagine you chasing him around the garden to the tune of Benny Hill

You did the right thing and asked nicely. If he has told you to fook off I think he is fair game now tbh

MC

Order him a couple of skips,Pizza's,Taxi's,Takeaways etc p!ss him right off

Won't have time to make any noise...

hank ....you'd suggest giving him a hiding? or a scuffing round the back

I agree with AG. Put some face paint on, take your top off and press up against his bedroom window in the dead of night.

When spotted, move off slowly, laughing.

Use what you know Howdi. He gos to work at 6am. So he isn't going to want grief when he needs his rest. Go to the other neighbours above, below and on your side and explain the situation and ask their permission to sort this out. You'll be in their good books because you've considered their feelings and with their permission get the loudest most irritating music you can think of. Put stereos in all adjoining rooms, let these neighbours know the plan and from about 22.00 play on repeat at full tilt and fucck off.

The next day pop round and ask politely if your music kept them awake. If they don't get the message then you may have to move. Worked for a friend of mine though.

Not these neighbours off course but the ones you have smoozed. The irritating ones need a big ole surprise.

Howdi

Has this been a problem for some time, or is it seldom or a one off?

when in the garden saxon they play music 2 kids belting my fences with crickets bats etc etc - been going on 2 yrs but mentioned it today 1t time

Eeternaloptimist  • August 16, 2014 9:40 PM BST 


Use what you know Howdi. He gos to work at 6am. So he isn't going to want grief when he needs his rest. Go to the other neighbours above, below and on your side and explain the situation and ask their permission to sort this out. You'll be in their good books because you've considered their feelings and with their permission get the loudest most irritating music you can think of. Put stereos in all adjoining rooms, let these neighbours know the plan and from about 22.00 play on repeat at full tilt and fucck off.


I was thinking alone these lines but my mrs doesn't like confrontation, I don't mind a bit now and again

During or immediately after the next horrible incident, calmly confront them and insist that if words are not enough then [b]"a different course of action" will proceed.

I wouldn't fook with you saxon , lad

I suffered something similar about 5 years ago, and after the above warning when he physically pushed me from his door step (with his cronies jeering behind him ) following another disturbance, arrest followed and a night in the cells for the 18 year old miscreant.

I'm going with the music idea his bird told me to wind my neck in today, so i'll play this non stop for 5 hours

(Lily Allen - wind your neck in)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzeRC8IK1-U

and if he doesn't take notice i'll give him a little dusting up when he goes out one morning.

Howdi,  I am a man of peace, but when my territory or privacy is invaded beyond tolerance.....  An Englishemans house is his castle and all that.

Whoops Englishman

I agree mate, I don't like throwing my weight around but  if I need to  , I will. Got to be careful these days not like the old days, could be in trouble if I sorted him out.

Enjoyed the Lily Allen lol

Howdi, you're a Cheltenham regular I gather, maybe meet up one day for a beer or two!

Good luck with the neighbours pal!!

certainly am pal , really looking forward to it this year pal. i'll buy you a beer I nearly always go to best mate enclosure, what about you?

Watch the racing from the top right hand corner of the members lawn usually.  I've enjoyed the Best Mate though, you're certainly nearer the racing! Would go more often in there, just too far from the "fanny craddock" for my ageing legs!

we will catch up and have a beer this year saxon. after ive driven the neighbour mad with lily allen

Sounds great! Having something good to look forward to is half the pleasure of occasion. The late and great Cliff Morgan said this concerning the need for sport to be seasonal!

Record them and then play it back louder next time you go out and they are in.

Dont worry too much Howdi. She doesn't even need to know beforehand. My mate told his missus to have a weekend at her mums to recharge her batteries and he'd look after the kids who were in their early teens at the time. Dropped her off on the Friday evening knowing that next door would be partying and having a skinful that night. Like I said he told his other neighbours who were right behind him and at about 4am when everything calmed down he gave it another half hour to let them get into bed and settle and then the music went on full blast and he had his three boys out of bed running around the house banging on the walls with pots and pans and all sorts.

He never had any trouble again. Of course that might not always work but the biggest problem isn't the noise per se it's your sense of powerlesness and to use a much misued word, lack of respect. It's as if you don't matter. Show them you matter and you have the same right to peace as they do.

The very best way of dealing with this is to find out where he works, and then have your largest and most menacing friend give him a bit of a warning when he leaves one night.

I'm an expert in the inducement of fear, trust me.

when I was younger and not the peace loving hippie I am now, I to had a loud music playing neighbour at all hours of the morning, so after a few well intentioned requests to tone it down at 3 in the morning which went unheard I retaliated.

I would wait until they played a song which I had as well, and then play the same song on my big aass stereo at full stick a few bars behind their rendition. this soon drove them crazy and he came knocking on my door.

we spoke and then ended up................................ punching the sh!t out of each other in the hallway.

it seems it's time to just fart on his useless noggin. give him something to remember so his favourite music is synonymous with that moment in time.

football season started

virtual vuvuzela for your I-phone



https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ka1aplRb1qg

I remember being told many years ago by a work collegue that you had to be preparded to
move every 10 years or so just to get away from neighbours as the area declined. Thought it
was nonsense at the time but he was right.

ive had ongoing prob with neighbour noise, new family have taken over and are worse than the family before, and because of my own shouting, complaining to council which resulted in nothing being done, I was severely beaten once the previous owner died, I ended up in hospital with cracked ribs and damaged kidney for the night.

the new people just keep banging every fecking door comstantly, and their horrid little jack Russell disturbs me, too.
council have been round, so now the 'lovely' lady despises me but they've not improved in the slightest, the husband has been in the army and the granddad is ex police so I have no chance! trying to move but I also suffer from noise sensitivity so don't hold out much hope of finding my peaceful haven.

Tell him that if he doesn't cut the noise down you'll move away, after  selling your house to muslims or africans of course.

never proved my beating had anything to do with previous grandsons etc as I couldn't say it was any of them for certain, but it was them, police were hopeless, id even been threatened by one of them not long before it happened

Let Jeremy Kyle sort it out!

Tony did you kill the old boy?

JK must shower after every show

Howdi
check your PMs.

I) Let it die down in the hope they keep it quiet

(give yourself a bit of time and gain some information !)

I would go for having a polite word with your neighbour. I would call round and be really super polite about it all, but I would probably call on them at 3am the morning (or 2) after they have been noisy and ask them to keep it down in the future.

napalm is not that difficult to make

chaser, there used to be an old woman living next door and it was always all her visiting family who purposely made a noise because they knew how upset it made me, but when I complained to council, they turned against me even more as though I was complaining about their gran which I wasn't, then when she died they took it out on myself, and the people here now are much worse.

i was punched in the temple which is obviously dangerous and i don't know how the attacker knew i ddint have a load of family members in my living roo, but i actually only had my 8 year old son here, who peeked out of the door and possibly saved me getting an even worse pasting

had howdi have been here id have called for his help!

I had problems with very noisy neighbours but fortunately the neighbour on the other side at the time had also took a dislike to them. In the end the neighbour sold his house and left. We had a BBQ and the neighbour on the other side had a few drinks and told me what he said he had done to get rid of them. Over a period of two years  he'd blocked their sewage drain, flooded their garden, cut their sky dish wire, blown their electricity fusebox, poisoned the trees in their garden, blocked the sink outlet, reported their car untaxed, reported them for rat infestation and the list went on. He was a retired ex-serviceman and not at any time did he ever complain to the neighbour or have any issue with them face to face. I really didn't know whether or not to believe him but years later when I moved elsewhere I met up with another local on a return visit and asked him if he knew what had happened , when I told him what I knew he said "Oh you heard did you ?".

is it possible theyre noisey because you are?
maybe the walls are so thin both of you can hear everything?

im not noisy but i started being noisy on purpose cos the people upstairs constantly walked across a wooden floor in the early hours after getting in from a night on the p1ss. the woman in heels. clomp clomp clomp. then i could hear them sh@gging for hours. they probably didnt even know how loud it sounded down here. i started turning the tv up so i didnt have to hear it. then they complained about me! me ffs!

^^^ good point. They aren't too bad in the house although high pitched screeching. However, when they are in the garden its so bad I can't sit out there with any peace at all.

can't believe anybody would want to hit Tony Broke seems a great lad to me.

I am getting boring now, repeating myself but there is no solution, get out. I like Tony Broke had a number of different tenants above me, and it didn't help. I started to think it was me and I was going nuts, it wasn't, soon as I left there my stress level diminished  360 degrees, and I left them all fighting amongst themselves to get on with(I knew people who were still there and most wanted to get out).

I was thinking of looking for new place, nothing to do with them , timing might be good. I wonder if any Isis disciples are looking for a gaff.

howdi move here then you have all the peace you need

http://netdna.tinyhouseblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/small_house.jpg

even got little steps to read paper and have a cup of tea on

bliss

when you think about it unless youre super rich, the standard of life in britain is ridiculously poor. you spend all the hours working your tets off just to live a concrete box where you can hear everything your neighbours do and pay over 100 grand for the privilege. were all nuts, we should sod off to the bahamas or summat.

Got to agree Bob. Just been reading in our local paper about an idea under consideration to charge people a tax if their homes overlook a park. Why should people have to pay a premium to live in pleasant surroundings ffs. Should the aspiration rather not be to make all people's living surroundings pleasant.

I do not overlook a park by the way

do you get a discount if you have noisy neighbours ?

Should do by that logic.

sideshow

You should have called on your upstairs neighbour and asked her to moan louder during sex as you worked on the sound for porn films and wanted to tape her.

Post about 1960 houses became shiit boxes with very poor sound proofing.

HOWDI SPOTTED FIGHTING THE WH ORE NEXT DOOR


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howdi . hope it sorts itself out . i live next to a house converted into flats . touch wood , only one real nutter tenant in last 10 years . one tenant was loud with the music so i put a note through the door . next day found a 'sorry' note with a bottle of wine on my doorstep. top class. hope same happens to you one day .

was the cork tampered with? my bet ws you werent just drinking wine

The very best way of dealing with this is to find out where he works, and then have your largest and most menacing friend give him a bit of a warning when he leaves one night.

I like this idea - distances you from the possibility of the law feeling your collar

chaser , very good ..but it was ok and i'd never actually seen the girl , just heard the music . she was lovely and now sadly moved out . bloke who moved in i suggested to the wife was a alcoholic . always in the garden drinking . she pointed out i only see him when i'm in the garden , drinking .

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just do that at you window howdi when hes going to work with a physcho face , hel soon get the message

The very best way of dealing with this is to find out where he works, and then have your largest and most menacing friend give him a bit of a warning when he leaves one night.

I like this idea - distances you from the possibility of the law feeling your collar.


You are correct of course Emden.

Problem is when you move into a new house in a cul-de-sac with a small playground for the kids, looked great until we moved in and my 10yo son was being attacked by the eldest kid on the street who dragged other kids into much the same thing..
Polite visits to the parents revealed a couple that thought they owned the whole development, pretended not to believe my complaints.
Police were crap and said they would have a word and I told the law they were leaving me hung out to dry.

Wife had enough one night and told me she wanted to move as a few other distraught neighbours had done recently.
Had a restless night as I was not prepared to move again, got up at 5.00 had a brandy and waited up the road in a dark corner.
Received a caution and on my record for six years as a first offence, wife was happy, son is even closer than any best friend and made a few friends in the street that said they had had enough.

Could not be any happier since that morning, but it is not guaranteed, I was fortunate that the bloke despite being bigger, was not as motivated as a bloke that has nothing to lose.

The very best way of dealing with this is to find out where he works, and then have your largest and most menacing friend give him a bit of a warning when he leaves one night.

I like this idea - distances you from the possibility of the law feeling your collar.


You are correct of course Emden.

Problem is when you move into a new house in a cul-de-sac with a small playground for the kids, looked great until we moved in and my 10yo son was being attacked by the eldest kid on the street who dragged other kids into much the same thing..
Polite visits to the parents revealed a couple that thought they owned the whole development, pretended not to believe my complaints.
Police were crap and said they would have a word and I told the law they were leaving me hung out to dry.

Wife had enough one night and told me she wanted to move as a few other distraught neighbours had done recently.
Had a restless night as I was not prepared to move again, got up at 5.00 had a brandy and waited up the road in a dark corner.
Received a caution and on my record for six years as a first offence, wife was happy, son is even closer than any best friend and made a few friends in the street that said they had had enough.

Could not be any happier since that morning, but it is not guaranteed, I was fortunate that the bloke despite being bigger, was not as motivated as a bloke that has nothing to lose.

Result!

Howdi,
I've been thinking about your problem for a couple of days.
Essentially, you have got to get your neighbour to realise that their noise is causing some discomfort (to you but as importantly to others) and if they continue they will also face discomfort.  And to others is the key to the solution.
What I recommend is a note through his letterbox from a near neighbour (not you - just house number on note) attached to a plastic bag with dog sh1t in it and saying unless the noise quietens, there's plenty more to come.
Noisy neighbour will either go quiet or confront the neighbour for sending the note ... who will of course deny everything.  If noise continues, then same again but ratchet up, e.g. small explosion, then house fire, that sort of thing.

That's what neighbours are for.

PS I'm a clinical psychologist and this type of persuasion can be very effective ... as can a horse's head in the bed ... always a good deterrent.

Dog crap or live rats
send taxis during the night
phone all the estate agents, double glazing companies for miles around and get them to visit your neighbour

Start an argument on a forum with a nutjob (not hard) then threaten to kill him, when he asks where you live so that he can come and kill you, give him your neighbour's address.

cmat, good advice but neighbour also needs to know why he's getting lots of pizzas, male strippers, rave party goers, CID looking for drugs, Tax officials ... the list could go on.
By the way, where do you live?

call me a taxi

stereo on full blast today, not a good yet. Has Mr mouthy lost his bottle

* not a word yet

As well as providing you with the best solution, I would also advise that the phrase "Shoot him in the face" is copyrighted to me under long-established chit-chat bylaws.

Wait until he goes on holiday for a fortnight, tip a bag of maggots through the letterbox and those little beauties will scurry and hide everywhere.
Although you will miss all the fun when he has a houseful of dopey flies, you can`t have everything.
That was one I am assured works if all else fails.

paint their windows black at 3 in the morning

Urinate through his letter box just make sre he aint got a dog

early signs positive, nothing today.

a lot of complainers just make it 20 times worse.

i like punk/metal/all kindsa stuff, if i had the choice id play it all evening full volume. but i virtually never play any except on my ipod cos i dont wanna p1ss the neighbours off. very occasionally i'll put on a dvd of something a bit more melodious like queen or evanescence. if the neighbours started moaning about it theyd get screamo on at 3am itd annoy me so much! if they put a note in my letterbox saying summat like can you not put music on after 11pm or summat, or they have to get up early for work or whatever id understand and try to be even quieter than i am already. but a lot of people just like moaning over nothing. i had someone complain about me "dropping litter" when my coke bottle fell out of my bag. i never drop litter anywhere, and the bottle was nearly full. im not going to deliberately drop a nearly full bottle that cost about £1.29 on the floor now am i ffs. its so easy to judge someone you know nothing about.

Howdi

Pour a whole bottle of this through their letter box...

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2-PACK-LIQUID-ASS-ORIGINAL-POWERFUL-FART-SPRAY-STINK-BOMB-VILE-SMELLY-JOKE-/121387464919?pt=UK_Toys_Creative_Educational_RL&ha****m1c4341b8d7


Worked a treat on the skank next door to me.....Believe me this stuff ain't a joke...it's pure evil.

Sit back and watch the fun...

"i never drop litter anywhere, and the bottle was nearly full. im not going to deliberately drop a nearly full bottle that cost about £1.29"


49p in Farmfoods, This is the thread which keeps giving and giving

erse2 • August 17, 2014 3:41 AM BST
it seems it's time to just fart on his useless noggin. give him something to remember so his favourite music is synonymous with that moment in time.

What is your weird obsession with FARTS erse? it's most peculiar ?