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The under soil heating is pathetic at Charlton Athletic
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...and the surface is patchy at Fenerbache.
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Gypsies have camped on the pitch at Northampton.
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Two nuns and a cleric on the rampage at Berwick.
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A fire has ignited at Oxford United
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dog bites man at AC Milan
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No police force farriers and Kidderminster Harriers
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The ref's ruptured his spleen at Forest Green.
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Escaped Panda at Crewe Alexandra
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They're choking at Woking
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Shooting incident resulting in dead boss at panathinaikos
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An overuse of Veet at Ebbsfleet
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Winds very high at Galatasaray
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Unexploded bombs found at MK Dons
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it rarely occurs down at the Spurs.
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The refs got one leg and one short un at Greenock Morton.
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They'll be a short delay at Clydebank, as The Ref's gone for a snide wank
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...as the linesman at Ebbsfleet is beating his meat.
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The PA at Barcelona is asking for a red Honda Jazz owner
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Overflowing sewer at Stenousemuir.
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* Stenhousemuir
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A bomb in a car at Stranraer.
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The chairmans murdered his wife at East Fife.
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The ref lost his whistle at Partick Thistle.
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A travelling fan from Tranmere who happens to be **** trapped his testicles in the turnstile at Carlisle
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A fat lass stuck in the turnstile is delaying Scunthorpe V Carlisle
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Ok, not sure if we've have had this one yet..
A travelling fan from Tranmere who happens to be que3r trapped his testicles in the turnstile at Carlisle |
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Goalie killed his wife , no game at East Fife.
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Theres a moose on the loose at caersws
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too little tyre pressure for the team bus of Brescia
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A dodgy chicken tikka ruled out Benfica.
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Serial killer at Aston Villa.
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There's been an outbreak of Foot And Mouth at Queen Of The South
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Exploding llama at Vasco Da Gama.
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pitch covered in spooge at FC Cluj
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Thieves have stolen all the stewards tunics at Dortmond v Bayern Munich
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the ref is a tool so game off at walsall
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they're refunding a tenner at Rapid Vienna
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The team bus driver had to be enlightened when he thought Queen Of The South meant Brighton
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