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I've not been on her for a while due to messy life.Let me explain so that you wise betfarians can advise:
Early last year I went to work in San Fran. I was there 3 months and after my fiance coming to visit me I fell in love with a girl from the office and had an affair on my fiance of 9 years. Unfortunately, when I got home I left my pc open and my fiance read my emails and saw all the gory details. As you'd imagine, she was both furious and devastated. I was confused, I lied to her and kept on talking to my SF bird and planned on seeing her again. Despite her giving me another chance, I got stupid and left my phone in her possession at christmas and she saw a shed load more emails.
We split up then but recently I stopped speaking to SF bird and everything has been going great with my fiance. Unfortunately, I've got to go to SF for 6 months in april and my mrs can't accept that ill be working 20 feet from her and that we will have to socialise together. My question is: how the hell do I get her to realise that she has to trust me and that me and SF bird can be friends. I've told her we won't be best buddies or anything but she's going mental just because I'll be socialising occasionally. This is driving me mad cos I love her but I can't deal with this lack of trust. What would the wise betfarians do?
thanks for your helop :)
Early last year I went to work in San Fran. I was there 3 months and after my fiance coming to visit me I fell in love with a girl from the office and had an affair on my fiance of 9 years. Unfortunately, when I got home I left my pc open and my fiance read my emails and saw all the gory details. As you'd imagine, she was both furious and devastated. I was confused, I lied to her and kept on talking to my SF bird and planned on seeing her again. Despite her giving me another chance, I got stupid and left my phone in her possession at christmas and she saw a shed load more emails.
We split up then but recently I stopped speaking to SF bird and everything has been going great with my fiance. Unfortunately, I've got to go to SF for 6 months in april and my mrs can't accept that ill be working 20 feet from her and that we will have to socialise together. My question is: how the hell do I get her to realise that she has to trust me and that me and SF bird can be friends. I've told her we won't be best buddies or anything but she's going mental just because I'll be socialising occasionally. This is driving me mad cos I love her but I can't deal with this lack of trust. What would the wise betfarians do?
thanks for your helop :)
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Replies: 63
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You love her so much you thought nothing of giving the SF girl a portion?
Yeah, right.  |
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I just made a mistake. I realise that now. She was hot and I just thought I'd get away with it.
So you think that I should get rid because she's too jealous? People in love make mistakes. I'm not proud, I just got stupid. Should I just accept I f****d it up and now she will always be jealous or can she trust me. Someone here must have experience of this sh*t! I cna't be the only one ffs!! |
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hmmm ,.. what if it all went well with SF girl though ?
Trust's difficult to rebuild imo |
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terrible bait
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if your bird is so grate she'd kick you into touch now imo
ps even feeding the ducks in mansfield toon was a better effort |
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Remove your genitalia before you go to regain her trust. If that doesn't show her you love her, then she is clearly wrong for you.
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this isn't "bait". What is supposed to be my trap? I really don't have many friends outside work and I can't talk to them about this. wft is supposed to be my motive? I'm a c**t who made a terrible mistake. Sopme people think everything is fishing. I actually thought the guy with the duck story was genuine, granted, I thought it was hilarious, but that;s by the by.
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Just one question though evski if you don't mind ...
What colour knickers did she wear  |
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okay, this isn't going to work. I thought I could reverse my story and pretend I was the cheat but here's the truth. My fiance whom I've been with since I was 20 (11 years ago) cheated on my with some cu*t from SF. She carried on cheating and i took it. I had a mental breakdown and for about a year I couldn't drink, couldn't socialise,couldn't see family or friends. she lied constantly and even tho we stayed together I found her plans to meet him at a conference in december. Iam so desperately in love that I was prepared to forgive. Now she's got to go back for a year and she's saying that she can't refuse to socialise with him because they have shared friends. I think that's unreasonable and if she wants me she should be prepared to tell him to get bent whenever he follows her about. Basically, this guy is a slimy tw@ and I think she knows that but I fear that the more time she spends getting p1ssed around him the more likley she is to get p1$$ed and let him shash her back doors in.
Am I a mug? I know the likes of HRH are gonna take the p1ss but this is driving me mental. I've never cheated on anyone and I lopve this girl. I just thought we were happy and now I don't know what to do. She really is everything I ever wanted and now I don't know whewther to trust her for a whole year or to just accept that the only girl ive ever known is gone. I feel like i'm on the verge of slipping back in to mental meltdown and I have no oine to turn to.  |
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ok then, if you're genuinely serious, bin the job and get a different one... no way your bird will ever trust you again otherwise
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foysc nomfs
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Yikes!
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abreviations explained. I think i get the first one but wtf is the second? O hve to say, I doubt it's advise and If i think the first one is what i think it is, it's abuse. although I think she should take your advice forom 3 posts back, so thanks.
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it's a difficult one for sure and I am thinking of 2 scenarios here. Could you post some nude photos to help concentrate my thoughts, that is of the bird by the way not you.
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I hope for your sake you're messing mate
but you shouldn't lie/trick the forum like that as nobody'll know what to think now ... |
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LOL! Surely you've seen your own mother naked before?
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MC Moonbeam, sadly i'm not messing now. I suppose i thought i'd save face not admitting that it was me that had been cheated on but I suppose I'd rather be that than the opposite. I promise you that this is not a joke. In fact, it's worse: my restaurant closed 3 months ago and I'm skint and jobless too. Basically, I'm not in a good place and i'm so f*****g lonely that my only option is to talk to strangers on a forum I barely frequent anymore.
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that makes 2 of us then ... i'm virtually homeless & lost any faith i had left in life .. but i never had a bird to cheat on me in the first place ...
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tbh everybody i know seems to split up .. so i kinda think what's the point !
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it's a victimless crime
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moonbeam, I'm the opposite. All my friends have wives and kids and good jobs and I'm alone, paying off debts for my failed business and feeling so low I don't know where to turn. I know that all im likely to get here is ridicule, but wtf do you do? All im thinking is I'd love to trust her for a year but I keep thinking she's bound to end up with him. Idon't even know why I'm here. What would you do? A friend of mine that was also in a ten year relationship found out his mrs cheated about 2 weeks before me. he dumped her and moved on in weeks. I wish I had that strength. How do you do that? Anyone had something similar and got any afvice for moving on? Anyone had their mrs cheat and is now happy? How the F**K does one deal with this kind of sh*t!!!
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Could you post some nude photos to help concentrate my thoughts, that is of the bird by the way not you.
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You've been together a long time though , that counts for a bit .. don't compare with your mate he might not of cared too much anyway .
Personally i'd be gutted .. but it sounds like you're constantly trying to 'keep up with the jones' a bit ? Maybe that's just not you .. life can be cruel & brutal but i believe it teaches you along the way & people end up the way they're meant to be eventually |
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take up masturbation and ignore anyones calls for your attention.
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he needs advice .. not me erse !!
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She really is everything I ever wanted
A cheat? I don't care how long you've been together, this woman didn't make one drunken mistake she persistently cheated and lied to you and caused you to have a mental breakdown. How could you possibly want her in your life? She clearly has no respect for you, you need to cut ties and start a fresh however hard it seems. Unless you want a life of an untrustworthy relationship with someone who will likely continue to take other **** on the side. IMO you are a mug, but you don't have continue to be one |
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Why is she still only your fiancee? Why don't you marry her? And go with her....
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i wouldn't go down on her when she comes back from san fran...
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"..I fear that the more time she spends getting p1ssed around him the more likley she is to get p1$$ed and let him shash her back doors in."
no-one ever ever spoke like this in their life : but in their dreams oh yes all the time. |
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only answer is to get rid of her as soon as possible and try to never see her again - there are so many people better than her in the world
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Evski
Leave her. hth. |
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Same thing happened to me over 10 years ago. At a conference as well . I also forgave her for a year, but then decided the sleepless nights were an indication that enough was enough. So i walked out on her.
She actually went onto marry this guy and has 3 kids with him. It was obviously meant to be. Time for you to accept it and move on. |
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If your gf had cheated on you with a laidee, would you have wanted pictures and not been so upset?
Nothing to do with it really, I just keep trying to suggest it to the wife |
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Its only sex, we are animals....rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and its animal nature to f uck things. Go out to Cali, you will see all these beauitful people to and want to do it
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Just one, straight decision to make:
If you want to keep your girl - don't go to SF. What's more important, your job or your life with your girl? That's all there is to it really. |
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So she cheated on you, lied to you and caused you to have a mental breakdown.........but she's everything you've ever wanted?
Seems to me like you're just with her out of habit because it's been a long time and you're afraid of starting again. If you really love her then give her an ultimatum. If she goes to SF then it's over. She either wants it to work with you or she doesn't. Let's face it, if she goes there for a year then there's not a hope in hell she won't start her affair again. And even if she says she won't, how can you know she's telling the truth? |
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Biscuit nails it.
To me she sounds a horrible person. I know you've been with her a long time but that obviously doesn't mean anything to her. Good luck whatever you decide. |
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que sera sera,whatever will be will be,
the futures not ours to see que sera sera. it is amazing how quickly your life can change from bad to good, do what you feel is right make your mistakes and learn and move on. ps good can go to bad just as easily, just dont stagnate do what you feel is right for you and things will eventually work out. |