Chit Chat
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While I understand many Chit Chatters are young,handsome, rich and successfull and mix freely with both the rich and successful including the upper echelons of stage and screen,there's also a small minority who survice on wife beater and pot noodles and i feel they'd be cheered up by rubbish encounters with celebs.
I once held "Bet Lynchs"cigarette holder on Rochdale market as she tried on a hat.
The actor Dudley Sutton fell off a bus as it pulled away and literally fell on top of me.
I asked Roy Cropper "is that seat taken" (he said no) at Manchester Airport.
A celebrity fuelled extravaganza no less..can CC do any better?
I once held "Bet Lynchs"cigarette holder on Rochdale market as she tried on a hat.
The actor Dudley Sutton fell off a bus as it pulled away and literally fell on top of me.
I asked Roy Cropper "is that seat taken" (he said no) at Manchester Airport.
A celebrity fuelled extravaganza no less..can CC do any better?
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Replies: 143
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Hughie Green opened my school summer fair when I was a child - I mean that most sincerely folks
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Alastair Down once asked me '' do you have a light? '
I said ' No '. |
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Bloke who's name i cant remember but was in Home and away and dated sussanne dando the gymnast tried running me out at cricket for backing up in my crease.
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I'm a regular on a forum where one of the users once held "Bet Lynchs"cigarette holder on Rochdale market as she tried on a hat.
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Katie Puckrik shouted out to me, I think "****!" as I tried to run her over in Kensington.
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On the pavement outside Gatwick Airport . . .
Derek Thompson: Are you a taxi? Me: No Brough Scott: Do you know where we can get one? Me: You could try over there where it says Taxis |
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*@rsehole
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I beat Benny from Crossroads to a bookies best odds at Bangor Races .
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Derek Thompson: Are you a taxi, big fella?
surely? |
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Unless someone has a story about Bubble from Big Brother I think this true story wins
My brother was in Torquay He and a bloke he knew from Torquay got invited to a do attended by the Mayor of Torquay ( no less ) Who should be there but the bald bloke, with long hair out of the Grumbleweeds ( this was after their 'heyday ' too ) Apparently Grumbleweed, and his Mrs, got absolutely leathered and had a right drunken set to I once attended the same party as Marilyn ( friend of Boy George ). I was told this because I didn't have a 4king clue who Marilyn was. |
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I was at Ronnie Kray's wedding reception and didn't realise until I read about it in the paper the next day
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It was early 80s so it may not be word perfect.
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I was at an athletics meeting at Copthall Stadium, I was about 8, when David Bedford, the then 10,000 metre record holder, was getting changed after a race ready for a shower.
His b0ll0cks were the size of grapefruit, no kidding I walked out of the changing rooms in a daze... my dad saw me and clocked what had happened... 'You've just seen David Bedford's b0ll0cks haven't you'. I nodded and must have looked scared. My father patted me on the shoulder reassuringly and said 'dont worry son, they dont all grow as big as that' |
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i once gave bob willis a massage with linseed oil
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Cracking story, starfish and coffee!
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i dropped a brussel sprout in Princess Annes lap
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A bearded athlete called Jim Aukett who somehow managed to get in the England 1974 Commonwealth team, ran 400 metres.
Totally undistinguished career, I only remember him because I heard him fart while warming up for a race in 1982. |
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starfish,i thought David might have turned round and said"don't yours shrink when you come out of water"
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Bob Willis and Princess Anne are proper celebs imo
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silver service
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Was stood next Ally McCoist at Hamilton race course once, leant over and said autograph Ally. He said "Yes" So I signed a beer mat, give it to him and walked off.
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I've posted on a number of occasions about having a wazz next to jim Laker and his (frankly) enormous wang, so moving on down the celeb food chain...
H00ker in the famous Pontypool front row of the 1970's, Bobby Windsor once stood on my toe in his fearsomely studded boots, at the Major Stanley's XV vs Oxford University match in the mid 1970's. I also did some 'throw downs' to Alistair Hignell when he played for Gloucestershire and this one time, caught him smack in the ging-gangs |
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Noel Gallagher bought me a cup of coffee at Ibiza airport about 8yrs ago...................
Tasted like sheeite mind |
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Did you have a roll with it?
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dont look back in anger
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I wouldn't say rubbish but I once stroked Liz Hurley's beaver at a BTCC meeting. I sat next to her in the stands, it was so soft and tender. Well if it wasn't beaver it might have been mink.
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When I was at sixth form, we got a new cricket coach, as a cocky 17 year old I thought I'd be a bit cocky and told him to dish up the best he could in nets. he bowled and it whistled by my nose. I now know who Paul Allott is!
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who is he?
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And I drove over a picnic blanket and some childrens building blocks belonging to Howards Way actress Susan Gilmore with a ride-on lawnmower. She wasn't pleased.
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After spending all morning in the pub watching England winning the rugby world cup final as I staggered out who should I encounter on horseback but none other than Prince Charles who had been out riding with the local hunt "Hello there" he politely greeted me,"Alright" I slurred back and carried on my way.
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nothing worse than a one to one with one when ones had two many
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starfish and coffee  I queued for Graeme Souness' autograph at Gandi's circus in Liverpool about 1984. When I got to him, I handed him a shred of a peanut bag and said 'here y'are' he went nuts and growled 'here y'are whaaat ?' . In fairness my manners did let me down. Sammy Lee was much nicer when I interrupted him from his pastry purchasing in Woolton Sainsburys. |
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I walked into a uni ballroom once where Craig Charles was setting up for his comedy show. He told me to **** off. So I did.
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About 1986/87
I was walking past Canning Town roundabout in the pouring rain when a mate came by in a car and shouted 'Hurry up and get in'. He drove past the bus at the bus stop, and stopped on the zig zag lines of a Zebra crossing. I stuck my head down and ran, I saw a shiny pair of black shoes in front of me, and a briefcase I sidestepped the man with the case,and ran straight into a black bloke and knocked him over. I shouted 'Sorry mate' and just ran on towards my mates car. The man with the case was Terry Lawless and the bloke I knocked over was Frank Bruno, they were on their way on to the Royal Oak Gym |
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This is particularly rubbishy, but none the less:
I once came home from playing on the 'red ash' to find Brian Caudwell (the brother of John Caudwell - both founders of 'Phones 4 You') being sponged down in Dettol by my mother, in the kitchen, after Brian had fell off his bike in front of our house. Beat that (!) |
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If Lawless had any presence of mind he'd have urged Bruno to follow you into the car.
"Get in there Frank!" |
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RASCIST ATTACK
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This is particularly rubbishy, but none the less:
I once came home from playing on the 'red ash' to find Brian Caudwell (the brother of John Caudwell - both founders of 'Phones 4 You') being sponged down in Dettol by my mother, in the kitchen, after Brian had fell off his bike in front of our house. Believe it or not Tommy, I worked at Phones 4 u in Stoke, and had many a meeting with John Caudwell in my I.T days. I was there when we expanded his computer systems from something sh1te to something which he sold to VODAPHONE... HA HA, How does that grab ya? |
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P.S Tommy, I was contracting and only on £35 per hour then.
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