Rubbish Celebrity Encounters by Chit Chatters

Used to travel to big bill werbenuiks at weekends and practise with him at his house,beer cans all round the table and play for 10p a point!!
Also met pete poselthwaite at stoke hospital he looked very ill at the time but really nice bloke you forget how many different tyopes of plays and films he was in from alien to in the name of the father.Sadly both passed away both great characters.

Once met Sooty and Sweep at......

Never mind, off to bed.

In 1989 I met someone who had fingered Tanita Tikaram

starfish and coffee
Joined: 03 Sep 08
Replies: 3965 30 Aug 12 08:32   
In 1989 I met someone who had fingered Tanita Tikaram 

Just as one can point to the Stone Roses first album when asked 'What was 'baggy' then?' or let someone listen to 'Hole in my shoe' by Traffic to give them a firm grasp on Hippiedom, sociologists, when asked about the absolute essence of chit-chat, should mereley bring up the above post for total enlightenment.

f this thread had been entitled "Celebrity Rubbish Encounters" instead of "Rubbish Celebrity Encounters" I would post up about my encounter, early this year, with Ian St. John at a municipal recycling centre on the Wirral, as he disposed of some cardboard boxes that were likely superfluous to requirements after the Christmas festivities.

Nice fella.

Clouseau.. Maybe it was Jimmy Greaves' old bed??

1.violet carson mundella comp.school fair presenting headmaster with keys to mini-bus
2.tessa wyatt pub/inn on outskirts of melton mowbray

LULU ONCE ASKED ME FOR MY TELEPHONE NUMBER ,I TOLD HER I DONT GIVE MY TELEPHONE NUBER OUT TO EVERY TOM **** AND LULU THAT I MEET

BRIDGET BARDOE THE 60S TOP MODEL ASKED ME TO HELP HER ACROSS THE ROAD IN FRANCE A FEW YEARS AGO AS SHES FRAIL AND OLD NOW ,I SAID WEE WEE

Did she make you wanna' shout?

In 1989 I met someone who had fingered Tanita Tikaram


Fantastic work!

I used to know someone who'd done the same to a pre Spice Girls Geri Halliwell, on her insistence, about ten minutes in to a first date at the cinema.

I MET PRINCE PHILLIP IN THE ROYAL ASCOT TOILETS AND HE ASKED ME COULD HE BORROW MY COMB TO COMB HIS HAIR ,I SAID WITH ALL THE MONEY YOUVE GOT YOU SHOULD HAVE A GOLD ONE

HE SAID IF YOU WOULD  OF SAID THAT TO HENRY THE EIGHTH YOU  WOULD OF HAD NO HEAD BY THE END OF THE WEEK ,I SAID YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID IT TO HIM THEN YOU WOULDNT HAVE NEEDED A COMB

did he want to make you shout

I think Lulu looks fantastic for ninetyfour years of age.

I think Lulu is the saddest person on Earth

Back when I was working manually for a living I was brushing out my pick up bed at Roger Taylors(Duran one)Yasmin Le Bon was also there and they came into the field I was working in.
I slipped on some oil in back of the truck and landed on the floor,they both laughed.
Not cool.

Outside of a convenience store in Cornwall, many moons ago, I bumped into Phil Mitchell, him off Eastenders. He looked mean, moody and about to give someone a slap as he huffed and puffed back to his van, which was parked precariously on the pavement by the shop, engine still running. Following close behind the mean and moody Mitchell, was a young spotty yuff, the youngster saying, "Im sorry but you can't park there, no matter who you are".

Mitchell looks much smaller on screen.

Walked towards the counter of Martin's newsagents at exactly the same time as Richard Keys but from different directions. Politely held out my hand to signal 'after you' and he just looked at me with disdain as if put out that I had even considered that I may go before him, and went to the counter first without even saying thanks or smiling. Arrogant little git.

Marvellous stuff Chit Chit.

I've regaled this beauty before but still we are talking z listers.

Few yrs ago in Manchester Pizza Express with the Mrs and another couple we'd had a few bottles of wine with the grub and i was steaming.Anyway coming out the bog i bumps into none other than Dev from Corrie..i says a friendly "aright Dev",the oily lothario just said "feck off"

In about 1986 in Manchester MFI,workign as a salesman i ecnountered Gail Tilsley and her bf of the time Michael Angelis(i think) i asked "need any help" and they both said in Unison "just looking"

On a Virgin train to London about 10 yrs ago,i was sitting in First Class (pretty empty)when a a black labrador in harness came to my table and sat under it!..i gave it a bit of sandwich only for about 10 seconds later for some suit to come come and bollock me and inform me it's David Blunkets dog!

Charles Clark bought a book off me. I've not sent him it yet.

Met a Grange Hill actress in Redhill. Asked her to sign my arm as I didn't have any paper. She got some paper from her co-star (panto) who turned out to be in Bread, and signed that instead.

Blake from Blake's 7 refused to give me an autograph but I queue-jumped. I was the only person in the queue. He was drunk.

Waited behind five kids to speak to Mike Gatting. When they left he looked at me like I was a massive tool and walked away. He may have had a point.

Asked Kerry Katona what the best thing about being a woman was. She jiggled her tits.

"So, Ben Folds Five! Great new album!"
"Thanks, what's your favourite track?"
"Erm, the first one"

I once spent a ridiculous ten minutes chasing Billy Bragg round a room, before being clubbed to the ground by militant lesbians.

Monday morning walking around chorleywood common with the wife,Woman about 40yrds away with two dogs walking towards me shouting in the direction of the woods for third dog.I point to my left to let her know its in my vicinity.She waves a beaming thankyou and when we pass she says she always worries about the dog being hit by a golf ball from the bordering golf course,we share a laugh and walk on.Lady in question non other than former chit chat love siren,the legend that is.... Cilla Battersby!

I once went to a charity cricket match and Derek Randall was one of the celebs. I asked him for his autograph, but the ensuing conversation quickly descended into farce as I couldn't decipher his broad Notts accent. I'm sure he thought I was deaf or daft, because eventually we both gave up and I retreated back to the bar, crushed.

I wouldn't mind, but it was my bloody cricket ground!

(This one is by proxy) A few years back my brother was heading to work, bright and early in London. Still half sleep he steps into the road without looking properly and was met by a screech of brakes as the huge gleaming car in front did a successful emergency stop. At first glance my brother couldnt see the driver but upon closer inspection he spotted Magician Paul Daniels peering over the steering wheel. No words or gestures were exchanged. Both parties just went on their way.

In the Merrion Club in Dublin in 2004 we got down to the last four players in a Texas Hold Em tournament.  It was about 4 a.m. so I proposed we do a deal and split the money.  One of the four was actress Mimi Rogers, first wife of Tom Cruise.  She appeared in an Austin Powers film.  Another of the four was Bruce Atkinson ("Elvis Senior"), an older guy who likes to do Elvis impersonations.  Tourney was €100 entry split was €2,400 each afair.

Good card player is Mimi totally bonkers though.

Whilst trading in shopping malls one of my pastimes is celebrity lookalikes, in Donny at the moment we have  ginger mccain, miss jones, eric cantona, jeremy clarkson just to name a few . About 3 years ago i was trading in Bristol Galleries centre and was telling a security guard about my pastime and named and pointed out a few, when i showed him big mac chalker the porter from casualty he said you idiot that is him, charlie dale lives down here (the actor who plays him)

miss jones from chit chat ?

My ex served Phil Mitchell a beanburger in Leicester Burger King 1992 ish, think he was in panto.

She also had to call the manager after refusing to give Willie Thorn's kid a free  toy as they hadn't bought a kids meal, they'd walloped a full size whopper meal instead.

Note, if your kid is big enough to eat a whopper meal, then they should probably have grown out of Taz Burger King toys.

I went for a pee in a club in Donny, looked at the chap next to me, as you tend to. It was Alexie Sayle.
'You OK?' I asked
'Yes are you' he replied. That's it.

Met Alan Brazil at Donny races, spent a good while chatting to him about football and racng. Nice Bloke.

Willie Thorne as above.

I know someone who had a close encounter with the dark haired one in Bananarama in the 80's.

Oh and one to upset Tommy

Last yeasr at Ponte races Derek Thompson actually said 'Hi big fella' to me just after giving the gorgeous Mrs Colly a lascivious grin.

When I still drank, I was in London and had got royally hammered until the wee small hours, but I had an early flight out the next morning. I got myself sorted and then headed for breakfast where I loaded up with the most enormous fry up. I was dimly aware of the only two other people in the hotel restaurant, but was too hungover to care. I scoffed the unhealthiest brekkie in the world and then washed down a handful of tablets with a cup of tea. Feeling much better, I sat back and said hello to the other chaps, eating their muesli and sipping their green tea not two tables away.

It was Sean Connery and David Puttnam.

We didn't chat.

Well, Tommy has not replied to me having  meetings with Mr Cauldwell. I do not bull sh1t.

'Sean Connery and David Puttnam.'

*teddies.

A while ago I was working at Donington, and had to pop to the top of the commentary tower to speak to the commentators every now and then. The spiral staircase to the top was one person wide.
On one journey down the staircase, at halfway between two landings, I stood face to face with Richard Branson (I was obviously higher up). Time froze.
No room to pass...somebody had to reverse.
Before I could do anything Branson went backwards down to the landing below, and let me through. I said thanks, and went on my merry way.
I`ve never forgotten it.

wow

Did he mention FirstGroup

and the pickle?

I once gave Alexi Sayle's mam a glass of champers when she gegged a mate's 21st drinks 1996 ish in the Liverpool Everyman.
I talked to her about poetry and she invited me to a local group.

I learned the next day that whenever a cork popped in that place it generally lands on the back of her head.

My first ever captain stinkfinger was from Ian Astbury's cousin 1992 ish.

Several years ago I was walking down george st in Sydney at around 2am with two mates after a huge pub crawl.
We walked past the Ivy nightclub and just as I stumbled past a bloke was being ushered out of the place by two minders,

I looked up and shouted to him "G'Day mate, welcome to Australia', and then proceeded to give him a hug and big kiss on the lips'. He was pretty drunk too.

It was Shoaib Akhtar. That morning he was a late withdrawl from the test match against the Aussies due to an injury.

What a load of rubbish, he was drunk as a skunk and hung over!

Shoaib Akhtar's genital warts keep him out of Pakistan's World Twenty 20 squad

Pakistan paceman Shoaib Akhtar looks set to miss next month's World Twenty20 after receiving treatment for a genital infection.

By Telegraph Staff and agencies 6:27PM BST 21 May 2009

a couple of my more bizarre ones:

helped Maureen Lipman fill out her betting slip on grand national day in a Ladbrokes.

gave Rod Stewarts mum a lift 10 minutes down the road (arranged through a friend who couldn't do it)

as the shop keeper went out back, broke an awkward silence with Pam St Clements (Pat Butcher) in a mobile phone shop in Borehamwood by asking her if she had any interesting story lines coming up

I thought my brother locking Dave "Harry" Bassett in a service station toilet just outside of Watford was pretty bad.

Not to mention the time i nearly got shot by Mi5 when the Queen and Phil rocked up while i had gone for lunch while at college.

I was thumbing a lift one time in South Wales and at the time punk was all the rage and that was my thing. After a short while a car stopped with three blokes in and they gave me a lift from the gates of RAF Brawdy into Haverfordwest.

Clocking my get up, ripped up t shirt and bondage pants that were black at the front and white at the back (loved those pants) they started talking about music and bands and whatnot and asked me who I liked etc. Then they asked me what I thought about Sham69 to which I replied "Shyte" and explained why...thankfully they laughed it off and delivered me to my destination...turned out they were three quarters of Sham69 minus Jimmy Pursey who were touring in that neck of the woods.

collywobble @ 30 Aug 12 22:30

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!

chucking it down with rain judith charmers let me shelter in his car

diamond lady

his car ?

Couple of years ago I was stood in the duty free shop in Dubai.I notice a smallish bloke in front of me absolutely bathing himself(face,neck top of his head,the lot) with Chanel Bleu from the sample bottle.As if I'd got tourettes I spoke exactly what registered in my mind."Dave Basset" I boomed.He looked up and gave an ackward half smile......he must have thought.....yes you c\/nt...I know who I am!

Once in a very packed resturant Jimmy Savile and friend walked in,no seating left for them,so the waiter asked me and my wife if Jimmy and friend could sit with us,we said yes and had a great evening.

her car

had a p!ss next to stuart pearce in the hospitality toilets at cheltenham around 10 years ago, i said `ayup mate' to which he replied `ayup gresty'

Breakfast in a motorway cafe with John H Stracey.

Ah, it was you was it

I knew I'd seen it posted before

We need a separate "I've p!ssed next to a celeb" thread.Noel Edmonds for me.Funnily enough that was also in Doncaster!

I know someon who had the p!ss ripped out of him by Noel's erstwhile chum Mike Smith. Ouch.

mine is still the best looking encounter

I also know a bloke who got into a blazing row with Richard Briers in Chiswick

Apparently the pseudo green was reversing his car out of somewhere and nearly ran this geezer over.

The exact details are a bit lost on me but it was something to the effect of

Briers " Why don't you watch where you're going!!"

Bloke I know " I was walking on the 4king pavement, why don't you look before reversing!!!"

etc

A1 circa 1974, TMP. My father driving me to school, packed cafe and JHS asked if he could sit with us. Nice bloke, as I recall.

Met Tommy Cannon at his home near York.

I honestly wouldn't have recognised him if I hadn't known!

He has a pretty wife (considerably younger than he is) and a new baby (at the time) that he was acting stupidly with.

He told me he was skint till the panto season, but in his bedroom were more clothes than Debenhams!

Rail upon rail of suits, and slacks, and shirts, and on the floor were piles of folded casual and golf clothes.

We need a separate "I've p!ssed next to a celeb" thread

My contribution to this one would be Bill Oddie. When I was a nipper, my Dads football team had won their local Middlesex league and cup in the early-mid seventies and reward for doing so was a match against a 'showbiz' eleven, with the likes of Dennis Waterman, Dave Clark and a few others I can't recall. It was half time, and I needed a wazz, so my Dad took me in to the players toilets. Alongside us at the traps stood Bill Oddie, at the height of his Goodies fame, so in awe, I blurted out recognition of who it was. Bill just looked in our direction with utter disdain, but to be fair, the old man had just been kicking absolute lumps out of him for the previous 45 minutes and the prospect of another probably wasn't that appealing.

Cut some trees in David Jasons garden a few yrs back gave me a fiver was worth at least a tenner imo

Sunil Gavaskar ran me out for nought, on my second delivery I knocked it past point, called yes and ran. At a push I probably could have sprinted for two, the fat git stood motionless at his end and I was ran out much to the amusement of my fellow team mates.

Stuart Pearce had a whizz next to me at a Stranglers gig in Kentish Town in the mid 80's but I didn't say hello as that would have been a bit too wierd.

Just remembered I very nearly ran Alan Rickman over in Wardour Street, he gave me a filthy look to say the least. Funny thing is, if I had knocked him flying in Soho, 'Truly Madly Deeply' would never have been made and I'd have done the world a favour.

I once bumped into Joanna Lumley as we both tried to get through the gate they used to have onto the platform at King's Cross. I apologised and she smiled very sweetly as I let her pass and we both knew ... you can't manufacture that kind of heat.

orioles     31 Aug 12 17:06 
A1 circa 1974, TMP. My father driving me to school, packed cafe and JHS asked if he could sit with us. Nice bloke, as I recall.

School being up Newcastle way I assume ? 

Must have been lost

All fights in the UK were in London except for 2

May 1972 - Piccadilly, Manchester 
January 1973 - Some dive in Nottingham

If Joanna Lumley had smiled at me, I'd have got on her train, in her carriage, in the seat next to her

She likes a bit of rough.

We'd flown into Heathrow that morning and we were driving up to the North East in a white Cortina that dad had bought in London. School wasn't in Newcastle ... I was unceremoniously booted out of the car on the way up by the heartless basket.

I can't remember where we were, but it must have been fairly far south. I do remember JHS had two mugs of tea on his tray, which for some reason I thought was dead flash.

A bizarrely behaved Kevin Spacey in a bar at the Old Vic. My mate insisted on trying to get a picture with him which didn't go too well.

Oi, steady the buffs. Joanna and I were nearly an item. That must have been in the 70's too.

Christ, I'm old

Before the M11 AND  the M25 were built, from oop norf, the way back on the A1 to Bethnal Green (home) was the A1 to Mill Hill, then turn left on to the north Circular (A406)

I was reading my Beano.

My greatest boxing encounter was at Heathrow, on one of the moving walkways (this is in the 70's again) and the walkway that came the other way had a huge scrum of people on it. I was only a kid, and couldn't see who was in the middle of the crowd, but when I asked my brother who it was, he replied 'Muhammad Ali'.

listen when I was seated next to Liz Hurley she was as moist as an August slug, I could taste it in the air that day.

After "The Coronation" the queen waved at me, as I waved my flag enthusiastically!

I had the lack of pleasure of being shown Tommy Cannon's bedroom!

A long forgotten about celebrity (who's name I can't recall) sang with my group (band) "The Defiants", when he visited
the youth club where we were practicing.

Will post the name as soon as I can remember.

Actually, thinking about it, this person showed an unhealthy interest in young people!

Now who else fits the mold?

In a nightclub in sheffield about 10 years ago, Carlton Palmer tried to act the big man with me and a mate of mine after he mistook us for some guys who had called him 'sh*te'...............he backed down when my mate told him to fook off or he'd end up with his head smashed in.

Stood next to Gail Platt from corrie at donnington race track for a good ten minutes when i was a teenager. We didnt speak.

Spoke to G-Mac at a practice day for the open last year, had loads of time for the fans-seems a top bloke.

Was shopping in manchester with the girlfriend, i was stood in a shop bored whilst she tried clothes on when i noticed this hot girl walking past me, i shared a smile with the said girl and it was no other than Tina O Brien who played Sarah Lou in Corrie. She looked bloody lovely in the flesh.

carlto palmer was sh01te

Chucked me pint all over Eric Clapton's leather trews...

he laughed, and bought me another. Top geezer.

Id forgotten why I still bothered with chit chat, but then a gem thread like this gets reposted.
BTW, Whatever happened to Tanita Tikaram?

Walking into a gastro pub with some friends, as i opened the door Ronnie Irani was coming out, and held the door to let us all in.
"Thanks Ronnie" I said
"My pleasure" he said

The girlfriend and her mum her walking through the upmarket town in south county Dublin where they lived and she saw her dad outside pub looking over a Harley motorbike with another chap. She shouts over the road" Da, will you stop annoying Bono and come on down the road".
Her dad shouts back" who the feck is Bono, this is Paul" and goes back into the pub with Bono(Paul) to finish his drink.

Jethro Tull concert at Wembley in 1973, Marty Feldman and Jonny Speight were just behind me in the queue to get in. Had a chat with Marty about Tull's music, he was a big fan. Speight seemed hammered.

was sat next to where steve davis was starting his walk on at swanseas brangwyn hall,caught him looking round the huge hall at the artworks etc on display,said to him "is this as big as your living room then steve?" "not quite" he said,then proceeded to ask if i knew how charlton were doing in the fa cup that day,i politely told him,"they've lost",nice guy.

I once had sex with a girl who's sister had done a kiss and tell on Shane Warne

i have loads but heres just a few.

me and my mates stoned matthew kelly as he waited for a train at brockley, it was when his leg was in
a cast and we knew he would not chase us.

brother came home crying after another lad hit him, and my dad sent me out to sort him out.
turned out to be craig fairbrass who later starred in londons burning and the film tightrope.
took one look and bolted back indoors.

1990 at Wimbledon after watching a 16 year old Monica Seles grunt her way to defeat me and my teenage chums
retired to the bar for elevensies,whilst frolicing in the fresh air I spotted Michael Grade sauntering towards us.
"Look Tarquin" I proclaimed.There is Michael Grade,"who " he said.Michael Grade head of channel 4/bbc1 or whoever one said.He's a big guy,but as Mr Grade got within 3yards of us(about 1metre new styly)Tarquin shouted "GRADEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Hahahaha!!!

Titter ye not toes

He didnt even flinch

TASHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Toes ,you knob

Very good!

Its true.wish it was now

Twas day before Germans beat us in Semis of world cup

billybob oz     16 Feb 13 01:02 
i have loads but heres just a few.

me and my mates stoned matthew kelly as he waited for a train at brockley, it was when his leg was in
a cast and we knew he would not chase us.

I sat next to him in the old Maidstone hospital in the early 80's.
Him with a cast on his leg, me with one on my arm.
I said to my Mum "That's..." she said don't talk to him.

Mum "knew" best, I suppose

Sitting in slow moving traffic in a mini-bus in Whitehall in 1989, a posh car was coming the other way. The driver shouted out 'It's Thatcher.. in the black car.'  Us nice working class cockneys opened all windows and gave her a multiple two-fingered salute as the car passed.  Princess Anne wasn't best pleased.

I once worked as a concierge in a posh leeds hotel and mixed with that great english cricket team of the mid nineties,  I wasnt allowed to do the valet driving of their cars but did have a go in a few posh cars including Chris Lewis who is now doing about ten years stir for drug offences.

The best celebrity non-encounter was when me and Mrs SF were attending the wedding reception of a bookmakers daughter in the early 1990s. The wedding car, a Rolls Royce, and hotel room (for bookie and wife) and the gift of a large television were paid for by Charlie Kray, who wasn't even there.