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26 May 12
11:19
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Date Joined:
02 Feb 02
Who would win?
Resounding triumph for the lager boys imo.
I'd send in some of our northern units clad in replica shirts as cannon fodder, just to entice the ale battalions to break cover. Then as they attacked in their Volvo estates, bedecked in appalling knitwear and sporting rather too much facial hair, I'd send in our London armoured white van man unit, and the sight of all those bad tattoos and chunky gold rings would send the bitter boys on the retreat to go and talk about circuit boards or suchlike.
Resounding triumph for the lager boys imo.
I'd send in some of our northern units clad in replica shirts as cannon fodder, just to entice the ale battalions to break cover. Then as they attacked in their Volvo estates, bedecked in appalling knitwear and sporting rather too much facial hair, I'd send in our London armoured white van man unit, and the sight of all those bad tattoos and chunky gold rings would send the bitter boys on the retreat to go and talk about circuit boards or suchlike.
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Replies: 88
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you taking the p1ss?
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Lager drinkers will glass you and fight fkin dirty. Bitter drinkers would probably try and sit on you with their lardy arses
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I don't know what to do. I like both.
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To be honest, it's never occurred to me that there may be anyone who doesn't like both.
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I've met Lagers top boys
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I think you're confusing bitter drinkers with the real ale brigade.
Don't forget a lot of the rugby lads drink bitter. Might be a close call |
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the old ale brigade could launch a devastating gas attack on the fizzies.
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I distance myself from the lager top boys, although if it all kicked off with the rugger buggers, I may be forced to recall them from the Balearic beaches to swell numbers.
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Thinking about it, my bitter/lager preference seems to be controlled by the seasons. Lager in the summer, bitter in the winter.
If I have to choose which side to fight on it'll depend what time of year it is when war breaks out. |
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Would the lager boys be able to put their football allegiances aside to unite against the bitter boys?
Also, what about the Guinness drinkers? Presumably they'd side with the bitter boys. No, the more I think about it, the more I think the bitter drinkers would win |
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I'm not having that. The ale boys would all hide in their sheds, and debate whether to vote for Clive or Geoff as head of the model railway society.
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It's an interesting conundrum, I just think the real ale drinkers might have a slight edge as some of the beardy chaps could bring an accordian, a tambourine and god forbid a harmonica to the party and organise a folk night which would send the lager lads running to the hills. I'm undecided.
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That could lead to an apocalyptic conclusion to events if they sent for the morris dancers
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don't factor the Stella drinkers in with the Lagerites either. They'll be too busy at home beating up their wives.
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Oh please God not the morris dancers, I'm leaning towards the ale drinkers now after you having said that.
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Don't make me laugh, lager was imported round about the time homosexuality was legalised.Coincidence? I don't think so.And drinking beer out of a bottle that has been p1ssed on by rodents and brewery workers ... Yuk!Chill it down so much there is no taste.Ha!They even stuck a wedge of lime in the bottle neck at one time...sweetie!
When ships were made of wood and men were made of steel, BITTER was the drink that helped us conquer the world.What are they gonna do...belch us into submission  |
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The lager boys may have to send for the Heneiken brigade, and in a scene resembling the rolling bails fire being launched at the Romans in Spartacus, I would line them up on the top of a hill and launch an all out attack of synchronised pissing to wash away the oncoming hoards of bitterists.
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cooperman - get back to your craft fair
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The lager boys'd be at it like a bull at a gate. There'd be tables, fists, glasses, white plastic patio chairs flying in all directions.
With their far greater experience (let's not forget seeing off the Cider boys almost to extinction in the 80's), guile and not inconsiderable resources the bitter boys would take a more calculated approach and in the end there could only be one winner. |
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well said cooper. The empire wasn't built by mincing lager top drinkers. On his day off surely the average spitfire pilot would've had a pork pie and half a bitter any day?
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I'm not happy about the lager and homosexuality allegations either - after all, it is the bitterists that prefer something warm and unpalatable running down the back of their throats.
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bloke goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex.
"I think my pen1s is too small" he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager" he replies quite bemused. "Aaaahhh. There's your problem, It shrinks things those Lagers. You should try drinking bitter. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink bitter?" asked the doc. "Yes", replies the man "and I've also got the wife on Lager!" |
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The one factor tht we've all overlooked is that the lagerites would heavily outnumber the bitter brigade - especially in the under 40 group
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Indeed. In both age, and IQ.
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And weight in stones.
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I wouldn't really want to face a Bavarian lager brigade in full lederhosen combat wear. They would pummel me into submission with their sausages and brass bands
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tennants and a whiskey chaser mob would do both of them even if they got handers from mild drinkers.
but you have got to watch the sweetheart stout drinkers when they attack from behind. |
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If I filled Erse up with a gallon of Marston's Pedigree, none of you would dare come near his backside
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the wine drinker,s would be minceing on the side line.shouting "boy,s boy,s violence never solves anythig"
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Don't forget that after a couple of years the Americans would join in. The beginning of the end for the bitter nation imo
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you can't really call that p1ss that the americans brew lager
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If it did escalate into a global conflict, the bitterists would be finished
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The last thing the lagerists want is the Yanks on board - glorious victory denied by a mass of friendly fire fatalities, and I'm pretty sure the bitterists would use underhand tactics to distract them any way, such as all you can eat for 5 dollar buffets set up on the battlefield. |
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I'm not drinking ice cold p1ss out of a glass that looks like a f00kin flower vase and has more bubbles than a foam party ffs.And i'm not going out dressed in clothing purchased from Sports Direct eveningwear section, covering myself in tattoos and shaving my barnet so I fit in with the wimps drinking foreign lagers.The old barrel glasses had a handle for a reason I might remind you, one of which was dispatching cheeky kids who couldn't manage a few pints of XXXX before gettin lippy.
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Where do the teetotallers stand while all this is going on ?
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with the muslims
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fack that
I'd go back on bitter and real ale |
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what about the yokel cider drinkers and jakeys
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They will just carry on as usual, off their tits on crazy apple juice making sweet love to their wives, who are also their sisters and quite probably their aunties too.
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