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These 113 comments are related to the topic:
Bedding a Bird
Bedding a Bird
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Replies: 113
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The mention of a bathroom sink had me in stitches
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Good work Freshy,i'm hathering your about 25 ish? when i was in mid 20's to early 30's i quickly moved on from the bimbo-esque 18-25 yr olds to the early 30's + ladies.Being younger than them (but not too young) was always a good head start and they were almost without fail far dirtier and better than their younger counterparts.
Though on a seperate note i note i must warn you there's only room for ONE official forum swordsman[;)] |
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27 a week on Thursday.
In all honesty, I've not slept with loads of girls, just above the 20 mark, and about 7 or 8 of those have been in the last year. Got a girl coming over tonight, an 18yr old virgin who is gagging for it. She's not too bad looking, surprised she's a virgin, tbh, but I've had it confirmed from her friend. Obviously I expect there are a few cynics on here who don't believe all this, but in all my years on here (under this name and my last one) I've never been known to lie. |
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in all my years on here (under this name and my last one) I've never been known to lie.
 Quality sarcasm from MF |
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Aye,an 18yo virgin
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She's coming over around 9
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^ and coming round at about ten past.
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BonVivvy
 ...up the Dale!!! |
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Once pulled a bird at a club half cut and proceeded to be pulled into a 69 later back at hers. She had a tiny bit of wet tissue paper in her pubes. Not a great start.
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 Wot was it wet with? |
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If I was MrFresh I'd be somewhat concerned about taking an 18 yr old virginity aged 27. If her dad finds out it could get messy.
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p iss i expect! think she had wiped herself not that carefully after going to the toilet
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when I was a teenager on a night out we were walking past the local park on the way to get a take-away when some young ladies in the park who were clearly drunk beckoned us over, I picked the one that looked the easiest and after probably only 30 minutes of meeting her we were at it in the doorway of the public toilets (which thankfully were closed at that time of night), how romantic?
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^^^
pure quality ,classy bird then ?? |
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About 2 to 3 weeks.
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i have a sober one which there seems to be very few of.
years ago i lived in tenerfie. my mates and i when we were working punting timeshare on the streets used to chat up girls who walked past. one day i got talking to this good looking german girl. she had a mischievous glint in her eye and i thought fook it, if you dont shoot you dont score. told her i wanted to f*ck her and she should take me back to her apartment. she declined my offer saying apartment was unavailable. i then romantically suggested the toilets of a bar near where i worked. she agreed saying she was going sunbathing forst tho. 15 mins later she was back and i took her downstairs to the toilets. she sucked me off and then i lifted one leg up and nailed her. wasnt my best performance but who cares.... came out onto the street and continued with my day. about 20 mins later my girlfriend appeared unexpectedly and i nearly had a heartattack. she had day off work so had come to see me. was aclose shave a few weeks lateragain chatted up a girl in street. told her there was a wet tshirt competition did she want to enter. she was gorgeous and had massive fake tits. tried to get her to get her tits out on the street. she said she wouldnt in the street. i was taking the mickey saying she was a **** and she was saying if you knew what i did for a job you wouldnt be saying this. i was thinking porn start, stripper or escort. or prob all 3! anyway this culminated in her saying come back to my apartment and i will show you. so off i walk with her already getting a lob on even though i havent touched her yet. unfortunately my manager was watching the whole incident and called me upo and informed me if i went with her would cost me a lot of money in a fine! so i didnt. an hour or so later the same girl is back wearing a white tshirt and no bikini. i proceed to pour a bottle of water over her. i then told her there was no wet tshirt competition. she took this in her stride and saidd i had to take her for drinks that evening. enroute to towen to meet her and get irate call from girlfriend. i had locked her out of flat so had to return! then had a massive row with better half and never got to nail the porn star!! happy days when i had cheek and some balls! |
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forgot to say both these in cidents happened between 1 and 3 in the afternoon and all involved sober. me working, girls on way to beach.
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I do take it that this girlfriend was just a bit of fun?
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Had a works party on Saturday night. Due to a lack of forthcoming action from other quarters I ended up taking a rather big girl home. We had left the party and gone onto a club she tagged along with me and a few of my mates. She's relatively new to work and already has a bit of a reputation. I can remember putting 3pound in the condom machine but it chewed my money I was seething.
She came back I had to do the deed bareback  [:(]Back to work on Wednesday, dreading it she's not exactly discreet either. [:(] Will I ever learn  |
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oi oi
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was a serious gf who deserved better. i realised this shortly after these incidents and we split up.
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ok tiptopcat
I enjoyed reading your stories, just that you mentioned this girlfriend a couple of times so I thought you were playing fire with fire |
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no worries pf. reread my stories and they seemed a little arrogant. if you work in a club 18-30 resort there is lots of opportunity. i have plenty of mates who have slept with 3 girls in anight. my record was only 2 :(
never been massively talented with wmen but racked up a fair few over the years. my mate who is a lot better than me picked up a hot bird in the supermarket, persuaded her back to his for supper and things went from there.... that is talent! |
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just re-read my own posts and I didn't realise it made me look so serious!
all I meant was, yea I can imagine those places can be a shag-fest , so why have a girlfriend? I have a mate in Falkirk, he used to play for Rangers when he was 16, and he would tell me that he'd shag bird all the time while having a girlfriend and I would say to him........."shagging loads of birds is good, but why do you have a girlfriend??" and he would tell me "cos I love her"..........pure bu11shit right enough |
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well i loved her and she was an amazing girl but we got together in englkand and moved to tenerife. after 18 months opf watching all my mates pull effortlessly i was starting to get itchy feet. temptation was constantly in front of you with some pretty hot girls. this led to me cheating a few times and so i dumped her. went to ibiza and did loads of sleeping around but in realioty i messed up best relationship i ever had for meaningless s*x with slags. you always think the grass is greener but often it isn't. so i guess karma got me in the end.
did get hold of some hotties in ibiza tho ;) |
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I want to tell people this story, and although it doesn't sit right on this fred, it's as good as anywhere else.
I went out with a bint for a year in 2000 and 2001. She was quite tidy, had a nice figure and a great set of cans. But she was also thick as fúck. My mate's missus set us up and they still work together (though my mate's missus can't stand her these days). My mate told me the other day, "Reports suggest your ex Nicola is now 'a very big girl'. Well, a fat **** actually." !!!!! |
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I went out for a night in Standish a couple of years ago and pulled this sort in the Globe, after I bought her a pint of mild. She took me in the bogs, took my keks down without kissing me and rimmed me, then took my load on her face. She went back to the bar and she finished her mild off. I don't know if it was froth or **** on her top lip as I kissed her good night.
She moved down south a while after and got a job where a lad I know has been trying to get stuck into her. He's failed miserably and the thing is she's this easy. |
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^ "I kissed her goodnight"
They say romance is dead. |
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Unfortunately, I can't do smileys on this computer - cos AgentR would be getting plenty of them!
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Looking through old posts and came across this thread, quality stuff.
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An enlightening read.
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About 15 year ago in shagaluf me and a mate pull two birds on the 2 mile walk back to the hotel i gets a bj off the bird im with on a bench makes my excuses and she gets a cab, my mate takes his back to the next room fecks her brains out, she wants to go back to meet her mates so he gets her a cab. Im going down to the hotel bar a few before it shuts he said not for me i say im smashed. There was a single mum there with a toddler from Peterhead of all places, he buys her a couple of vodkas she invites him back to her room saying the nipper will be asleep in no time, after a quick snog she undoes his flys the dirty fecker still had the condom on from the other bird full of spunk and hanging off the end of his knob, needless to say she threw him out.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ha ha ha ha ha why would a nice scots lassthrow him out , just because his baws were empty |