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*resurrected
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THE RASTA STOOL RIDER
when i worked in harlesden this certain character backed nothing but edward hides mounts religiously and sat on a stool with sporting life in one hand pretending it was a whip--two furlongs out in every race he would start whipping the newspaper against his sides shouting**on yer bumbaclot or whip im rassclot one day a horse he backed was clear inside the final furlong only to get caught on the line to which he shouted me drop me damn whip near the line dats why the horse lose man the shop was in hysterics all afternoon |
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:^0
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Tommy, do you get royalties every time this gets ttt'd? Or perhaps I'm alone in finding it only mildly amusing at best.
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Nestor, it beats all the tripe currently on here by miles. I'm not the only one who appreciates some of the stories contained within.
Remember, this is supposed to be a SPORTS AND BETTING forum. If you disagree, fair enough. |
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I would agree that it's better thanmost we see here and it is at least sports oriented, but it just doesn't amuse me.
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Well, fair enough. Horses for courses and all that.
Some of the stories have had me literally 'laughing out loud'. As it's consistantly rated as one of the greatest ever threads on this forum, I dont think I'm alone in welcoming it's return. |
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To the top.
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i worked in betting shops for about 5 years when i was a bit younger, and this thread has brought out the best memories of the jobs!!!! gold. absolute gold. contribution if i may.....
"Chris the Computer" Slightly retarded, in his early 30's, would come and sit in the shop for about 6 hours of the day, and place only one bet. one magical 15 pence each way bet on a fav. which would inevitably fall or come nowhere. He claimed to be able to beat electronic poker machines because he had a computer installed in his brain by the military when he was a squaddie and he could communicate "computer to computer" with the machines, tricking them into winning. Every second tuesday was action time as we used to have to wrestle him away from the machines as he fed his benefit money relentlessly into the poker machine and spun his life away, i never recall Chris making 1 single collect in 2 years. He used to go off on "missions" to play football against "the blacks", himself vs up to 11 of them, and would purposefully fall off his bike to give himself 'footballing' injuries. Sad case but made my time at that shop so much easier. God bless Chris the Computer. |
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well written tt but once is enough for me personally
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There's always the chance there may be new additions, BOI, as Redbag and Shemnal have provided today.
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*Shemnel
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i love this thread, brings back lots of memories. funny how you can find something so charming that at the time was pure ball-ache!!
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not a criticism of you bringing it back up,youre right
it was just my opinion tt |
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Fair enough.
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ttt
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i was a boardmarker in my day... this geezer use to come in to watch the racing never seen him bet... anytime he came in you just knew there would be a scene...... amount of time he kept roaring at the extel calling the woman an obscenity and telling anyone who would listen that steve cauthen was an alcoholic... think he had the same problem
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we had one like that,come in look around shout out"snotburgers" and leave
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aitl
should turn it into a book and make himself some dollars |
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t
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First time I've seen this.....brilliant!
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AITL...youll like the Top 50 Supergrass songs ... ;-)
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im loughing through it all,, on page,, really good read so far
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or there was taffy the postman who had to stand outside the moment the race was off,the one time i kept him talking during a race he wet himself poor sloppy bvgger!
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LONG JOHN SILVER
50 betting slips in hand ready for first race. constantly puffing on woodbines. so named after throwing himself in front of metro train and losing 3/4 of a leg. clearly a happy chappy as has more to spend on races now he is disabled. |
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....DID HE .... come up on the rails ??
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ttt
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TICKER THE MOUTH.So called because of a twitch of the head he had.The race would start you could hear a pin drop,the closer the winning post came,the louder he got,then he would shout f u c k in get in there you could hear him 3 streets away.Then he would walk around the shop putting his winning betting slip in your face,his hand shaking as he did,saying "i told you that would win". He would then collect his 90 pence winnings (50p on 5/4 shot) Walk out of the shop shouting GET IN as he left.
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Good to see some new additions.
Any more? |
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.
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DAVE
simply dave, not dave the gent or dave the dapper, just 'Dave'. Dave would religously be at the shop 10 minutes before opening, to get his seat square in the middle of the shop. I never worked Dave out fully, he had a definate air of class but whether it was as much as he made out or mostly an act, i never knew. Some said he was a disgraced emeber of aristocracy, some said he was a complete **. Anyways, he would slip in 10 mins early at opening, and crack on with the 1st can of lager, usually fosters. he used to drink it in secret until i told him to not bother. he would usually sup the 4 pack by 10am, and place his bets for the day. He would ALWAYS have some dodgy piece of silverware he was trying to flog or some hair brained scheme. then it was off to the pub. By 3 or 4 pm he was always uncontrollably drunk and would get lary and sometimes abusive. but always held his chin up high and not a stain on his dapper suit. Hell of a character, not missed though! |
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like this thread
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Great reading .
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ttt
this the best thread ever |
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ttt
this the best thread ever |
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Never fails to make me laugh
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DAMAGE OF MANCHESTER .. IMAN WHO CAN CHEW PENS IN HALF .. SPITS AT TVS ... AND TAPS UP EVERY1 HE KNOWS .. ROCK ON DAMAGE
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ttt .
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there was ron who owned the local italian next door who every single time he put a bet on said the same thing"its better to give than receive" in he"s case it was just as well but he could afford it!
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JEWISH TONY-regular in mysadcrooks office in the cricklewood broadway in the early 80s-worked in the rag trade,always wore an arfur daley type mohair coat would come in with a wad and have a monkey on the shortest price fav he could find eg a 1/12 shot and take immense delight in shouting as loud as possible "go on you good thing" all the way through the race with all the various intinerent west indians and irish sitting praying it would get stuffed so they could take the p1ss out of him - i was sitting there hoping it would win and that he wouldn't have a loser before closing time because that would mean i could drag him down to the galtymore snooker hall and play for a onner best of three - he could never work out how he always got beat 2-1.When i subsequently persuaded that a nice game of 7 card stud was the way to go it was happy days - he got his bunce on a friday regularly and i got my brown envelope from him slid under the bandit screen with whatever he owed - not particularly ethical i know but better than cyrill stein getting his mitts on it surely!
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